Chapter Seven

Merry Christmas?!? Do they celebrate Christmas in FF7 World?

( later, Upstairs)

Tifa: (shouting up a ladder) All the RED boxes Cloud!!!

Cloud: They are ALL red!!!!

Tifa: No... some are blood red, some are red orange, and some are red pink!!!

Cloud: They all look red to me....

Tifa: The blood red ones are for thanksgiving... the red orange are for Halloween, and the red pink are for Valentines day!

Cloud: What about the fushia ones?

Tifa: Birthdays....

Cloud: (sighs) I really wish you could color code better....

Tifa: Just get all the boxes that say Christmas on it... PLEASE!!

Cloud: (comes crashing down the ladder, several large boxes land on him)

Tifa: Would you stop clowning around??? The others will be here with the tree any second now!!!

(outside the house)

Beth: Just a little further guys!!!

Red: ouch.....

Blue: Stop complaining....

Vincent: My back hurts.

Cid: I need another cig...

Shera: Oh, hush....

Zak: Oh.... what are we? PACK MULES!?!?!

Aeris: Oh, hush.... the tree isn't that heavy....

Red: Yeah, it isn't.... but the four of you riding on it are making it a little heavy...

Beth: and just WHAT are you insinuating???

Red: Nothing... nothing....

Blue: Well, it got cold....

Beth: We get tired faster....

(The men drag the tree inside)

Tifa: Set it up over here... by the couch.... there! No.....

Beth: It will look better over here....

Aeris: No, over there.....

Cloud: ouch.... (face full of pine needles)

Tifa: RIGHT THERE!!!!!

(they set up the tree and stand back to look)

Beth: Let's decorate....

Vincent: (opening a box) Ugh.... lights.... Here Red!!! (hands Red the box)

Red: Uh.... (pulls the strand out) THEY ARE ALL TANGLED!!!!!!!

Vincent: You can do that...

Cait Sith: (opens up one box and finds a big paper HEART) Hey.....

Tifa: CLOUD!!! I told you all the RED boxes!!!

Cloud: They are ALL red boxes.....

Barret: I nominate Beth to do the lights....

Beth: (sigh) Here... (lights are untangled and on the tree)

Cloud: (opens a box) Oh... these are my kiddie....

Barret: Marlene made this and sent it to me....

Beth: A.... jack-o-lantern????

Tifa: (sighs)

Cloud: YOU get the boxes next time....

Tifa: There is the garlands....

(a few hours later....)

Tifa: What a beautiful tree....

Cloud: I kinda like the way we incorperated the jack-o-lantern, the turkey and the paper hearts on this tree...

Cid: Don't forget the Flaming Foxes Five' Movie...

Cloud: So THAT is where I hid my best porno...

Barret: DIBS!

Cait Sith: I want to do the star....

Cid: no ME!

Shera: No me....

Beth: Wait...

Barret: I think that Marlene should do the star when she arrives!

(They all agree and head for bed)

(The next day, before breakfast)

Tifa: Is it just me, or is all the women do around here is COOK!

Blue: And clean....

Beth: (walking upstairs)

Tifa: hmmm....

Beth: Okay, okay.... I know what you are trying to say....

(the doorbell rings)

Beth: BARRET!!! IT'S FOR YOU!!!

Barret: Who could it....

Beth: (looks at Barret as he walks by)

Barret: MARLENE!!!!!!

Beth: Bingo....

Marlene: Daddy!!! (hugs Barret)

Barret: How's my girl?

Marlene: Daddy I missed you so much!

Beth: Marlene, dear... are you hungry?

Marlene: YOU BET!!!

Beth: We made biscuits and gravy today....

Marlene: My favorite... yes indeed....

They all sit and watch Marlene eat........... and eat..................... and eat.............. and EAT!

Barret: That's my girl....

Beth: She has had FOUR helpings... (not able to polish off two helpings)

Cloud: well, it's wonderful! (Helping himself to another platter of gravy)

Tifa: I am glad this is such a hit!

Beth: Yeah....

Cloud: (talking with his mouth full) Mhd dalkdoiei kldljoaie odijfkdidi!!

Marlene: Mr. Cloud... it isn't nice to speak with your mouth full!!!

Cloud: (swallows) I said we HAVE to go find that materia so Shinra will be finished!!

Beth: Yes... but it is two days before Christmas... go after the new year... so we can at least spend Christmas together.... (glances at Vincent, then at the floor w hen their eyes meet)

Cloud: But I think that the women should stay here.......

Beth: WHY?

Tifa: are we not strong enough?

Barret: Hey, Marlene... like the Christmas tree?

Aeris: BRAVE enough?

Marlene: Yeah! But where is the star?

Blue: well???

Barret: (hands her the star and picks her up) You put it on....

Cloud: uh, let me finish! I think you guys should stay here so you won't know what we are going to get you for Valentines day!!!

Marlene: (puts star on crooked)

Barret: Good job!!!

Girls: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! How nice.....

Cloud: I think we should leave the second of January....

Tifa: what day will you return?? (obviously not liking the idea of the men leaving)

Cloud: When we are done... we still have to find that materia to stop Shinra!

Cid: what? Leaving all these women folk by themselves with Sephiroth on the loose?

Beth: I don't think he will bother us for a while....

At the crater:

Jenova: AND after you take out the garbage, clean the attic, sweep the floor, shampoo the carpet and fix me a twenty course meal... then you can go to your room and THINK about what you have done....

Sephiroth: (sighs) Yes Mom....

Jenova: And call me MOTHER!!!

Sephiroth: Yes..... MOTHER!!!

Cid: Why?

Beth: Uh... I think that he is grounded...

Tifa: (giggling) Oh, yeah......

Cid: But, still leaving these women here alone... especially Marlene... she's a little girl...

Beth: I think we can handle it for a while by ourselves... we are just as strong as you guys are...

Vincent: We have to at least CALL....

Barret: Yeah....

Aries: (sighs) Will ALL the men be going?

Cait Sith: I can stay...

Barret: Uh... NO!!! We are not trusting a known spy with MY daughter....

Cait Sith: Ouch...

Zak: (handing his plate to Aeris) I don't know... he has changed sides....

Barret: But this is my DAUGHTER!!!

Vincent: (agreeing with Barret) I think that we should trust the girls by themselves........ NOT WITH THE LIKES OF HIM!!! (points to Cait Sith) It's more than just Barret's daughter... it is also..... (trails off)

Cait Sith: Oh yeah, Mr. Former Turk????

Vincent: YEAH!

Cait Sith: You and me take this outside RIGHT NOW!

Vincent: Ladies first!

Tifa: Stop fighting you two!

Beth: I know what Vince is saying......

Red: But WAIT!!!!

(All look at Red)

Red: Beth is the AUTHOR...

Blue: That's right, nothing will go wrong...

Beth: Besides, we are strong too...

Cloud: Then we will leave right after the new year!

Guys: Yeah!

Barret: But we need to hurry back.

Cid: We will fight hard.... for Shera!!!

Barret: For Marlene!

Red: For Blue!

Cloud: For Tifa and future sex opportunities!

Tifa: (grumbles then cracks a smile)

Vincent: For Beth.....

Beth: !..............? (just looks at Vincent)

Vincent: ................

Beth: ..............

Vincent: ....... ..........

Beth: ................?

Vincent: .......!!!

Beth: (walks back to the kitchen)

Tifa: What was THAT???

Beth: Oh... nothing.... (smiles)

Tifa: Yeah, you guys didn't SAY anything...

Beth: Sure... that's what YOU think.....

(Later, in Red's Bathroom)

Red: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..........ooooooooooooooooo

ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE..............eeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Blue: Are you alright dear?

Red: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

IIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............

Yuffie: Gross, I am the one that needs HELP!

Red: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

GGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH