A/N= Oooooh… this is it…. I'm so excited!!!!! This is the chapter in which I get to say the greatest Smith line EVER!!!! I've been looking forward to this for ages! I thought of this chapter whilst in the car on the way home from my dad's house and when it came to this infamous Smith line I never stopped giggling. Read through the chapter and see if you can guess which line it is! insane giggling (Clue: it's not the whole 'adventure out the window' one or the Smith seducing Neo one- although they both made me grin like the lunatic that recent scientific experiments have proved me to be) Erm anyway, I gonna leave now before the rustlers get me (I wouldn't ask right now). You all know the drill by now… I don't own 'The Matrix' or anything related to it… except restraining orders from Hugo Weaving but I KNOW he's just playing hard to get….

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Brown put a hand to his earpiece. "She's on her way back…" he reported.

"She certainly took her time," Jones said as they waited impatiently in their interrogating room that day.

"I thought it was mandatory for females to spend this long purchasing apparel." Brown replied.

"Females are complex vessels," Jones sighed.

Smith silently agreed as he paced up and down the room. Out of all the females he had known during his time inside the Matrix, none were as complicated as Watts.

Sure enough, the door crashed open and Emma stepped inside. "I'm back!" she smiled, dropping her numerous bags to the floor. "How do I look?"

The three Agents stared at her, eyes bulging, jaws dropping. She was wearing a short black leather skirt, fishnet tights and a red and black leather corset. Her brown hair, normally held back in a ponytail, was now loose and curly, falling to her shoulders.

"Um… well…" Brown stammered.

"You look… uh…" Jones stuttered.

Smith smirked and folded his arms. "I'm sure he'll fall for it." He answered. "He's only human after all."

"Speaking of humans," said Emma. "Will I need to… you know…"

"What?"

"Will I have to… do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know…. it."

"I don't understand. What is 'it'?"

"Oh come on, Smith! Will I have to… you know… have sex with him?"

"Oh…" Smith suddenly looked disgusted. "Oh…" he repeated with a sneer. "Well… just… do what it takes. Remember, Watts: Results are all that matter."

Emma smiled. "I feel like you're pimping me out here, Smith."

"Pimping?" Smith looked confused.

"Yeah, it's when… Oh never mind." she sighed.

"So… what's going to happen now?" Asked Brown.

"We just need to wait." Emma replied. "As soon as Trinity jacks back into the Matrix, that's our signal. We follow her to the nightclub and you three distract her while I take care of Neo."

"What do you mean 'take care of him'?" Jones said suspiciously.

"Well… if my programming is all it's cracked up to be, I'll get Neo wrapped around my little finger, stop him from meeting Trinity and finding out about Morpheus and the Matrix and then he'll never become the One and will never be a threat to us."

"And you're sure you'll be able to do this alone?" Smith frowned.

"Well you're welcome to help me seduce Neo if you want, Smith." Emma grinned.

Smith scowled, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "That's not what I meant," he muttered.

Emma chose to ignore him. "I guess all there is to do now is wait for Trinity's signal," she said, sitting down in the chair next to Jones.

"Oh no you don't, Watts." Smith said gruffly. "After your little adventure out the window last night, I think you need more training."

Emma groaned. "MORE training? But I kicked your ass last time!"

"Beginner's luck. And you certainly didn't have any of that when you faced Trinity, did you?"

Emma huffed and folded her arms. "What do I need training for? I'm not going to be fighting anyone. That's your job tonight."

"Yes but something might go wrong-" Brown pointed out.

"We have to be prepared-" Jones added.

"So let's go," Smith finished.

Emma rolled her eyes, got out of her chair and followed Smith out of the room once more.

"Today's lesson will be guns," Smith said with a hint of sarcasm as they made their way onto the rooftop.

"Guns?" Emma repeated anxiously.

"Sooner or later, you will probably need to use one, Watts. Maybe not tonight but you will." He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out his desert eagle. "Shoot me."

"What?!" Emma gasped.

"Shoot me." Smith repeated. "I won't move. I'll let you shoot me this one time and then we'll see where it goes from there."

"Um… Okay…" Emma said feebly. With shaky hands, she lifted the gun.

"Don't hesitate," Smith warned her. "If I was an enemy, I'd be gone by now."

Emma pulled the trigger, closing her eyes at the last minute.

BANG.

Warily opening her eyes again, Emma found Smith still standing in the exact same spot.

"You missed by a mile, Watts. Try again." Seeing her nervous look, he added, "It's not like you're going to kill me, Watts. You know I'll be back…"

Emma nodded, swallowing hard. Again, she closed her eyes just before firing. This time however, when she opened them, Smith had been replaced with a small blonde girl lying dead on the floor, blooding spilling from her chest.

The door behind Emma suddenly opened. Smith walked towards her, stopping beside her.

"I told you I'd be back," he said quietly.

"I know…" Emma said. "Who's this?" she asked, nudging the dead girl with her foot.

Smith frowned. "It's that strange girl's friend…" he muttered bitterly.

"Strange girl?"

"Yes, when I took over this girl's body, her friend began to act strangely. She… told me that she loved me and then offered me a cookie."

"Cookie?" Emma smiled. "As in 'Cookies need love'?"

Smith looked up at her sharply. "That's exactly what she said just before I killed her!" he gasped. "How did you know that?"

Emma grinned. "You say it in Revolutions. Well… the Oracle says it and then you say it… well… technically Sati says it but you…" she trailed off, stopping herself from mentioning Smith's army of clones.

Smith raised an eyebrow. "That was confusing."

"Why did you kill the cookie girl?" Emma asked, changing the subject. "She sounds cool."

"She was bizarre and she was in my way. I took over this girl to save you after you fell and her friend was in my way."

"Sounds like you had your second encounter with a fangirl, Smith."

"Fangirl?" Smith repeated. "Second? Who was the first fangirl?"

"Me," Emma replied with a smile.

Smith stared at her. "Oh…" he said at length.

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This chapter took me ten days to write! TEN DAYS!!! What is wrong with me?! (stomps buildings and breathes fire) Erm… anyway… yes, the line that made me giggle insanely was of course… "Pimping?" I loved this line so much that I drew a pic of Smith saying it, looking all cute and confused. This pic and many more including Smith in a red dress, Smith the Cookie King (with me as his queen) and Drunken Smithie can be found at the deviant art link on my profile page. Be warned. It's full of insanity. I'm going now. (is shot)