*Jumps into a massive snowdrift, hucks a snowball at you, and then sleds over.* Hey readers!! I know it's been a while but...life's a bit complicated right now and I'm doing the best I can. But this snowstorm we're getting lightened my mood!!! (Dude...I got out of my parents' Suburban today...big car up high...and the snow was up to the door in my driveway! Muahahahahaa! Just don't eat the yellow snow...)

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except Penny and Hillary.

*Hillary*
When I awoke that morning, the clothes I was wearing were very loose, and when I stood up, the cloth that was hugging my body the night before (damn Elves..) was hanging off of me.
"What in the hell is going on...am I losing weight?!" I screeched joyfully and ran in front of the mirror. I had shrunk a whole bit! Woohoo! "Praise the Lord!"
"WAKE UP CALL!" Link shouted, stomping into my room.
"Morning asshole, what if I was naked? Don't you knock?!" I barked, turning to face him. He knocked on the door obnoxiously.
"Well, my gain," he said, grinning. I sighed and walked up to him. I began to push him out of the room, but he had another annoying comment to make.
"Time to leave," I said gruffly.
"Fine, Shorty," he said, smiling down at me. I looked up at him. He did look extremely tall today for some odd reason...I mean more than usual. "You do look short today, Hill..." Link said, a puzzled expression forming on his face.
"I don't have shoes on, and you're wearing boots. Goodbye." I pushed him out and slammed the door. Funny, that doorknob seemed lower yesterday.

After a quick bath, I walked back into the room and began to suit up. My clothes that the Elves had washed and mended for me were huge on me. I should have been worried, but I was too preoccupied over the fact that my waist was smaller. I made it outside when everyone else was joing together to start the preparations for departure. I got quite a few odd stares from some people, but it didn't affect me until I met up with Penny.
"Hey Hillary--" She did a double-take. "HILLARY!" I cringed.
"Morning?" I said somewhat cheerfully.
"Holy shit girl, what happened to you?" Legolas said, joining Penny in her staring.
"I told you she looked smaller," Link said, crossing his arms. I glared up at all of them.
"You're crazy. The Elven servants must have stretched my clothes out a bit when they washed them. That's all," I said, crossing my arms and pouting.
"And this one's grown a foot!" Link cried, referring to Penny. Penny shrugged.
"I haven't changed a bit," she declared assertively. Penny tucked her hair behind her ears, and as I watched her, I began to become nervous.
"POINTY!" I screamed, stumbing backwards, right into Pippin. He caught me, surprisingly. And he and the rest of the Hobbits looked taller. What's going on here?!
"WHAT?!" Penny screamed in reply.
"Pointy...ears..." I mumbled, regaining my balance. Pippin didn't let go of my arm, though. He was so Goddamned cute...
"Funny, Legolas said the same thing this morning," Penny said, grasping her ears. They were normal shaped again.
"You gunna hold her hand now, Pippin?" Merry asked loudly. Penny, Legolas, and Link snickered as I turned and looked down at Pippin. He had a far-off look in his eyes.
"I kinda need my arm back, Pip..." I said softly, and as sweetly as possible. The four of them laughed this time.
"Oh, sorry, here!" Pippin said, blushing, and shoving my arm into my opposite hand. Just then Aragorn came up behind Link and Legolas and slammed his hands down on their shoulders. They both jumped a mile.
"Ready to go, all?" he asked, eyes twinkling a bit.
"I'd do him," I whispered to Penny, who smiled and nodded. We were soon packed up and on our way out of Rivendell.

*Legolas*
Man did it feel good to be back home again. Middle-Earth has some feeling about it, some comfort to it. It could have been that I was in Rivendell, with my people...or it could have been that Penny's hand was linked with mine and I could feel her heat radiating onto me. Any or all of those combinations of things contributed to my overall good mood.

"We do not stop until nightfall," Gandalf said when we were at a considerable distance from Rivendell. "And always be on your guard. You never know what may be out there, what's lurking in the shadows. Be extra sure to watch for Orcs," he said.
"Yeah I'll watch for them...if they're delivering a pizza!" Penny said, sending Hillary and herself into hysterics. Everyone turned and stared, and Gandalf grumbled and rolled his eyes.
"Good one, Penz," Hill said, patting her on the shoulder. Hillary abruptly took a step, and tripped on her dress that was now dragging on the ground. She hit the ground with a loud thud, face down. People around her began to crack up.
"Ow," she said, and pushed herself up.
"Your grace," I said, walking around her. Penny grabbed her hand and hoisted her up in one quick movement. Okay, Penny's extremely gracefull and strong and Hillary's short and falling down. ((Heh..I'm a poet and I didn't know it!)) Usually they both had all of those qualities mixed together...but Penny seemed to be...and Hillary reminded me of...Nah! It couldn't be!
Could it?
"Hill...you're a mess...look at you!" Penny scolded. Hill's cheeks were covered with dirt, and so was her dress. She brushed it off as best she could, and then looked up at Penny. Penny was radiating beauty and cleanliness...
"Ahh!" Hillary exclaimed, jumping up and down in a fit of anger. "It's not fair! It's not fair! Aargh!!!" I looked on ahead, and we were quite a bit back from the rest of the fellowship. Only Penny, Pippin, Merry, and I lingered behind to stay with the fuming redhead.
"S'alright Hill, Pippin falls down all the time," Merry said, patting her shoulder and continuing on after the rest of the Fellowship.
"Do not!" Pippin shouted, slipping a bit on a log he was standing on to be eye-level with Hill. The girls laughed, and Hillary yanked Pippin off and ran after Merry with him on her tail. That left Penny and I behind, alone. Thank the Gods.
"I suppose we should get going now," I said, looking over at her. She approached me, grinning seductively.
"We can catch up," she said, backing me into a tree.
"But we should--" Penny's hot mouth was on top of mine, and we were quickly engaged in a heavy makeout session. A few minutes later, we heard a rustling behind us.
"Oooooooooooh!" That was a Hobbit.
"Shame shame!" Pippin cried.
"We know your name!" Merry added. I cringed, and turned around to the faces of the entire Fellowship. Gandalf looked pissed.
"Heh heh, um...hey all!" Penny said, smiling. Phew, she saved my skinny ass.
"WHAT ((dramatic pause)) do you two think you're doing?" Gandalf said, his voice booming throughout the wood.
"Sorry sir, let's be on our way!" Penny replied, grabbing my hand as the party merged into motion again.
"There'll be no hanky-panky in THIS Fellowship!" I heard Merry exclaim behind Penny and I.
"What, like there are other fellowships out there, Merry?" Pippin replied.
"There could be!" Merry retorted.
"Yeah, there'll be no hanky-panky in this Fellowship unless you're in it, right Merry?" I turned, and there were bemused looks on both of the Hobbit's mugs.
"Well if that one keeps on shrinking," Merry said, pointing up to where Hillary was, "there might be some!" Penny began giggling, and turned to walk with them. I knew she wouldn't pass putting a snide remark into a conversation like this one. It just wasn't like her.
"I heard that, Merry," Penny said casually, grinning evily.
"It wasn't me, it was Pippin that said that!" Merry replied hastily.
"Pippin! I'm shocked!" Penny exclaimed, faking astonishment.
"It wasn't me! Would you stop trying to get me in trouble, Merry?" Pippin asked, pushing his friend.
"You wouldn't be in trouble," Penny said, "Hillary's actually single...and looking..." There was a brief period of silence between the two Hobbits.
"She's mine," Merry said in a low voice, getting ready to sprint ahead to where Hillary was.
"I saw her first!" Pippin cried, pulling Merry down and racing ahead of him. Penny turned to me, smiling.
"How do you do it?!" I asked in disbelief. She shrugged.
"It's just one of my many talents," she replied.
"That's definitely not your best talent, and I would know about that best talent..." I said, smirking.
"Alright, that's enough outta you, let's catch up with them before they get angry...again..." I grabbed her hand and we raced after the rest of the Fellowship. We went to the front, because I was supposed to be the eyes and the ears of the group. Too bad I wasn't thinking much about the mission...

*Link*
I had begun to understand a bit more of what we were doing after talking to Aragorn for a while.
"So basically, if your great-great-great...whatever guy destroyed the Ring, we..." I said.
"We wouldn't be here right now. But that weakness in him led to the downfall of the race of Men, and allowed evil to endure," Aragorn said, his face still showing no change in expression. "That same weakness flows through my veins," he said solemnly. I looked over at the man. His expression still hadn't changed. Sheesh. I turned around, and Hill was behind me, surrounded by Hobbits. She was in all her glory; her smile flashed frequently and her flirt mode was on. She looked smaller than the last time I had really looked at her, which had been an hour ago. She had to hold up her dress off the ground to walk, the sleeves were hanging off her arms, and it drooped off her shoulders. I couldn't help but smile; after all I had put her through, she was truly happy again.

I turned my gaze back ahead of me and Penny and Legolas were leading the troops, two lovebirds with their arms wrapped around eachother, completely oblivious to anyone but eachother. It was kinda sickening, but I was really happy for the both of them. I watched Penny laugh...she just got more and more beautiful as each precious second I saw her pass. It was unfair that I couldn't have her. And it was unfair that there weren't any other chicks in this Fellowship. Maybe I should just get it all over with and turn gay. OKAY, just kidding...I looked over to the right of me and the dwarf, Gimli, was walking there, grumbling to himself. I decided to heckle him, even though he called me "Freak Elf-Boy" before.

*Hillary...later that night*
Man, my feet were KILLING me! We had been walking ALL DAMN DAY LONG! So it was a major relief to me when Aragorn and Gandalf found a relatively safe place for us to rest for the night. I had been surrounded by hobbits all day, which I particularly enjoyed, cause I kinda (goin' Brit-speak here) fancy them in an odd, odd way. Especially Merry and Pippin...those two crack me up.

Well anywho, we all plopped down in random spots, and Gimli (that guy's the man!!) volunteered to be the first watchman of the night. I clapped my hands for him, (and recieved some strange stares from Boromir and Gandalf), not just because he volunteered, but because he's Gimli! C'mon, you gotta have a soft spot for Gimli! Well anyways, I sadly watched Penny and Legolas disappear behind a huge-ass tree for the night.
"NO HANKY-PANKY!" Merry screamed at them. Pippin and I cracked up, and I could hear Lego and Penz laughing from behind the tree, too. I hadn't set up my sleeping bag anywhere yet (it wasn't a sleeping bag really, but I liked to imagine it was...) and I noticed that there was about a foot of space between Merry and Pippin. So, being the dirty-ass girl that I am, I gently placed the blanket down there, and laid inbetween them.
"I am so incredible tired right now...and HUNGRY! Good GOD am I hungry!" I said out loud to the quieting Fellowship. I heard Gandalf grumble in the distance. "I'll get you, Gandalf," I said out loud, and I FINALLY heard the geezer chuckle. Merry and Pippin laughed too, and sat up immediately when I get inbetween them.
"You hungry?" Pippin asked.
"Yeah...I kinda ate all my rations for today all at once..." I said sheepishly, blushing a bit.
"Pippin does that all the time," Merry said, a mischevious grin forming on his face. I smiled at Pippin, and he shrugged.
"I was so disappointed when Aragorn first wouldn't let us stop to eat," Pippin said to me. "We had only eaten one breakfast!"
"Only one?!" I asked.
"Yeah. I tried to explain to them about breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper...but NO!!!!! 'We don't stop till nightfall,'" he said, imitating Aragorn's voice. "It's like being in a frickin' restaurant watching other people eat. You know the food's there, but you can't have any of it! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Very frustrating." By the time he was finished with his rant, I was in hysterics. I was coughing because I was laughing so hard, but Merry managed to fall asleep during the middle of it.
"WOULD YOU HOBBITS BE QUIET?!" Gandalf screamed. "You need to sleep!" Pippin and I laid down immediately, smacking our heads together as we did it. We had to suppress our laughter so we wouldn't get in trouble again. We actually snuggled under the same blanket for comfort, and gazed up at the stars together. I fell asleep to the sound of our synchronized breathing and the rhythm of his heart.

*the next morning, dun dun dunnnnnn*

When I opened my eyes, everyone was standing over me. I began to get nervous when I saw Penny's distressed face hovering over mine. I looked around, and Merry and Pippin were grinning like Cheshire cats. I was afraid to look at what they were looking at...myself. I looked down, and my body was completely lost in yards of fabric. Fabric that was familiar to me...the dress we bought in Hyrule...ehhhhh!!!!!!
"Move it mister! Move move move! Let her up!" Penny said, pushing the guys aside. She took my hand and helped me to stand up. I was half her size. Half her size. Half her size!
"PENNYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, bursting into tears. She knelt down and hugged me.
"Hill, you're not the only one that's changed. Look." She tucked her hair behind her ears, to reveal the pointy ears I knew I saw yesterday.
"You're a...an..." I said, looking up at her. She was glowing. "An Elf."
"Half-Elf, actually," Aragorn said, kneeling down to my eye level. "And you're half-Hobbit, I'm afraid." A Hobbit?! This was wonderful and devastating news to my ears. Wonderful cause of Merry and Pippin...devastating because I'm a fricking four-foot NOTHING!!!

I backed up from them all, and my dress almost fell off completely. I screeched, and turned about six different shades of red. Penny helped me turn it into a makeshift...thing...by ripping it here and tying it there...she was so graceful and quick-minded...ohh the jealousy was almost too much to bear. Good thing I loved her like a sister.

Well, to make a long story short, we had to go allllllll the way back to Rivendell to get me re-suited and such. And Gandalf forgot his walking stick there, so we made the long trip back together. I could tell half the Fellowship was pissed, and I was pissed, but not much I could do. I was a Hobbit now. Better make the most of it.


Holy crap it's done!!! *glee* Alright I'm tired as hell so bye peeps, and thanks for reading!!!