Well, I hope you chickadees are up for a celebration because I AM BACK!!!! YAY!!! God I missed you, and this story. Well I guess I better get on with it, although I'm dying from a headache!! Ok! Here goes!
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Penny
Well, to cut a long story short, Hillary and I and the rest of the fellowship had to travel back to Rivendel to get the new hobbit a dress. We got her a very pretty sky blue one in preference to a buttercup yellow, and practically sprinted all the way back to where we had had to turn around.
Now back on our trail, me and Hillary scouted ahead of the group, promising that we'd actually try to be sensible and do something useful instead of distracting Legolas and the hobbits the whole time.
The scenery was beautiful, rolling green for as far as the eye could see, only broken by the deeper green of the forest and the tall grey of the mountains. It was such a relief from the normal world, where you'd look out and see a great hunk of city sprawled around, just ruining everything.
Reaching a nice flat spot halfway up one of the mountain foothills, we came across a lump of large white rocks arranged around nicely. "This looks like a nice place to stop," commented the now two feet shorter than me Hillary. I giggled to myself, Hillary the Hobbit, classic really. "What's so funny?" she demanded.
"Nothing!" I lied. Penny the Elf, wow. . . . . . . . poetic I think not. Penelope the elf maybe . . . . Jasmine the Elf, eh. . . . . Elorra Dannen the Elf, now that was nice. Maybe I'll change my name.
"Hey! You guys! Up here, we can stop here, it looks a good place," Hillary urged the group on up the hill. The light-footed Legolas reached us first and approached me, but Gandalf came thudding up close behind him, Legolas had to divert his route but smiled at me. Link skipped up like a 5 year old girl. I gave him a withering look.
"What?" he asked me.
"What do you mean what!? What kind of stupid way is that to act on a mission to save the world!?"
"Better than averting the eyes and ears of the group, namely Legolas!" He retorted. I growled and kept my mouth shut. Boromir passed us and chuckled, before moving over to Merry and Pippin who he began to talk to. Hillary joined them as well. I felt a bit peeved and talking to people wasn't the solution at the moment. I climbed one of the rocks and looked out across the valleys.
Below me, Gimli lit a pipe and sat back calmly. Legolas was leaping about between some rocks, checking here and there for any spies or possible food source. I found a great sense of belonging in this land, it was strangely comforting. My new Elfish features were the biggest bonus yet. Peaks of far off mountains were as sharp as a razor edge in my improved vision. Legolas seemed very interested by a black cloud hovering on the horizon; his face was a picture of concern.
Actually, now I come to think about it, this cloud was just asking to be suspected, bright blue sky, for miles around, black cloud smack bang in the middle. Ooh! Subtle. Suddenly, scenes from the movie, fellowship of the ring came flooding back to me. With my new gymnastic skill I leapt gracefully over to Legolas.
"Those are Saruman's spies, we have to take cover!" I warned him desperately. Beneath us, the hobbits had begun to swarm over Boromir who was laughing merrily as they tried to overthrow him. "Mutiny!" Hillary cried out, taking his shield and running around with it.
Legolas alerted Gandalf who ordered the fellowship to take cover. I dove into a bush, abruptly followed by Legolas. "Fancy meeting you in the same bush that I chose." He said with a grin.
"Hmm, large coincidence that," I giggled, but stopped when I heard the chilling cry of the birds. I huddled down, trying to stay as still as possible, it really was far scarier than it would seem. They swooped down so close, flowing over the rocks like a manic, black flying river.
When they'd gone, the braver members of the fellowship began to emerge. Aragorn and Gandalf began to discuss furiously about passages we should take. Gimli suggested the mines of Moria. Gandalf was having none of that. I knew perfectly well that we'd eventually have to travel through them, but I didn't much fancy it, so I hoped with all I could muster that we would make it over the mountains.
"Where are those blasted Elves? If I find them in the same bush together, I'll cut down their rations for a week!" Gandalf frowned and looked around/
I knew that pippin would be extremely happy if they found us, because that meant more food for him, I quickly somersaulted in the opposite direction from Legolas and crawled out from under a rock.
"What would make you think I'd be guilty of such a thing Gandalf?" I said, emerging with a smug smile.
"That's it, less rations for you young she-elf." Gandalf said. I growled and said nothing. Pippin cheered.
"Hey Gandalf, you know, the mountain is really cold, maybe we should just go through the mines anyway, it saves a lot of ti-.." Before Hillary could finish, I sprinted over and clamped her mouth shut.
"Hill! Don't say anything, we have to let everything be played out like it is, or it might change everything, having us plummeted into the story was bad enough but if we try not to change everything, the world will be saved!"
Everyone was staring at us now, trying to listen to what I was saying. "Carry on talking amongst yourselves children!"
"Now I get what you mean," Hillary said thoughtfully. "Ok, no more to be said."
Anyway, not much can be said apart from we tried to go up the mountain, but only me and Legolas could walk on the snow while the others waded through it. After an avalanche caused by Saruman, Frodo took the advice of Gimli and we turned back, making our way to the Entrance of the Mines.
We finally reached it; the towering walls of rock surrounded a dark murky pool. I recognised it and shuddered. Hillary gave me a frightened glance. Gandalf was feeling along the stone with his fingertips and finally reached a spot.
Looking up at the sky, he traced around with his hand until the moon came out from behind a cloud. I gasped, the carving in the rock face shone with a celestial light, showing a door with writing over the top.
"Speak friend and enter!" Hillary said with a grin.
"Since WHEN did you speak Elfish?" I asked her.
"Never. . . .I just remember that part." She said vaguely. Gandalf looked quite impressed but didn't say anything. He lifted up his staff and roared some strange sentence, "Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen! Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!" Nothing happened. I really couldn't be bothered to wait around any longer; Pippin was throwing stones into the water, despite a couple of warnings from Aragorn.
"Gandalf, sorry to interrupt, but the word you are looking for is Mellon!" As I said it the doors opened. The fellowship stared at me open mouthed. I took a deep bow. "Thank you, Thank you very much!"
"Alright you cheeky girl, you may have your rations back." Gandalf said it sternly but there was a twinkle in his eyes. I grinned sweetly and we quickly went in.
"It smells most strange in here . . ." Legolas muttered. Obviously, being a beautiful pure being, he wasn't used to the stench of death. Gandalf produced a light; the bodies practically seemed to jump up, in grotesque positions of painful death. Poorly crafted but deadly pointed arrows stuck out of empty eye sockets.
Gimli's proud ramblings of a great hall and malt beer turned into a cry of sorrow and disgust. "This isn't a mine, it's a tomb," announced the ever optimistic Boromir. The fellowship began to panic and slowly back out.
"No! Don't go back!" Hillary cried but it was too late. I suddenly saw Frodo fly up, a thick slimy tentacle entwined around his leg. Legolas and Aragorn practically flew into the attack, arrows streaking through the air, swords sweeping through tentacles.
Then came me, and the ever more hobbit like Hillary. Hill grabbed the tentacle and started wresting with it; I stabbed another one making for her. My arm snaked out, dagger in hand and I slammed it in until the hilt stopped the blade. Black blood went all over my arm and I moaned.
"If there were laundry bills in Middle Earth I'd owe a lot of money."
Link was smacking the master sword into the creature's vine like extensions. "What the hell are laundry bills!?"
"LESS TALK! MORE FIGHT!" Aragorn screamed, taking charge. The ugly beast roared and showed its head. I ran, Hillary joined me. The men stayed and took care of it.
Aragorn caught Frodo and zoomed in with him and the other two as with its last effort, the beast used its remaining tentacles to bring down the entrance. Again, Gandalf lit his staff with the stone and looked around at the company.
"It's a long walk to the other side, about 3 days, we better get going."
So that's what we did, we kept pressing on for I do not know how long. When you're in the dark, you lose all track of time. We had to stop at one point, because Gandalf couldn't remember the way, neither could be or Hillary, so we just kept silent knowing everything would unfurl and planned. Finally, with the use of his nose Gandalf kept us going.
We entered the great hall. Everyone gasped and stared in awe at the towering pillars, and the sheer size of the room. . . . .If it could be called a room. I felt a hand grab my wrist and I was dragged around behind one of the pillars by Legolas.
The next bit confused me, but I heard Gimli cry out, Gandalf yelled something about "Dratted Love birds!" and Link scooped me up and ran after Gimli. Random. . .
We stood in the room where the tomb was. A shaft of pale light shone onto the solid stone sarcophagus. I bowed my head in respect, after being put down by Link of course. I new what would come very soon, and started edging the door shut best I could with my foot, without being noticed. My hand was glued to the hilt of my dagger.
Gandalf began to read from a book, rather, a diary of someone who was trapped in the siege. We all listened in horrified silence, Pippin was staring with the light of fear in his eyes at a dead body propped on the side of a well. I knew what was coming but I couldn't stop it. His hand rose to the arrow, which snapped, the body swayed and as if in slow motion toppled backwards. A huge crash echoed through the cavernous tunnels of the mines. Pippin winced guiltily, as if the noise itself was biting him in the neck.
"You fool of a took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!!!" Gandalf roared, taking back the things he'd given Pippin to hold. Suddenly, from deep within there was a loud booming. Then another, shortly followed by another, boom. . . . . . . .boom. . . . . . boom. . . . boom. . . .boom, boom, boom, boom, BOOM, BOOM. There was a cackling of orcs screams and hysterical laughter. There was not a suitable enough explanation of fear to describe the icy claw that gripped around my heart.
Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn and Link worked on barricading the door. Gimli positioned himself on top of the stone coffin. Hillary and I stood either side of him, swords drawn; Gandalf and the hobbits were behind us.
"They have a cave troll!" Boromir told us. Great confidence booster.
"Aaargh! Let them come!" Gimli growled, keen for the kill. We waited with baited breath, positions and ready. Aragorn and Legolas fried arrows with deadly accuracy into small gaps made by the orcs pounding on the doors.
Without warning the doors gave in, and the orcs swarmed towards us, screaming and yelling in their garbled, disgusting language. The four Men were first on the attack; Gimli practically flew like a little Gimli-bird into the fray. Hillary and I looked at each other and nodded before screaming our heads off and launching into combat.
Pippin looked at Merry. "You first!"
"Oh no, Pippin, I insist, youngest first!"
"No! Merry, Ladies first."
"Are you calling me a Lady!?"
"Yes!" Their small debate was cut short my some hooligan of an orc who looked like he was a heroin addict, hollering some obscene word and streaking towards them.
The whole Fellowship was fighting now. My dress got spattered by the thick, inky black blood of one of the offending creatures and I went ballistic, sweeping my sword up and down, left and right, cutting a path through the sea of the bastards.
"HOW MUCH IS THAT ORC IN THE WINDOW?" I sang.
"Which one?" Hillary replied, laughing, lopping off the arm of a goblin.
"The One with the bald, ugly head!" I giggled, stabbing through the chest of another.
"Really? I'll give you, four dollars!"
"How much is that Orc in the window?" I repeated.
"I just told you!" Hillary spun around, and the other arm was off.
"I do hope that Orc will be dead!!!" I thrusted my sword through the stomach of one, and ripped up all the way to it's chin.
Thudding was heard, the last of the orc were felled and through the battered doors came the cave troll. Me and Hillary stopped our stupid song and gaped up at it, wide-eyed.
We both started whimpering. "Girls! This is not the time to panic!" Link said forcefully.
"THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!!" We yelled, just escaping being crushed by the huge club that hurtled down and smashed into the floor. How much worse could it get?
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I am going to stop there. . . . .I'm sorry, frustrating isn't it!!! Phewy!! I'm finally finished yayness! Be happy! I go have nap! RIGHT NOW!! Oh yeah . . .Review or that cave troll will be a-knockin at your door!!! Lol!!