Storm Elf would like to apologies. My computer is down in a big way. The
cord for my laptop broke and I have to come up with 78 bucks to get a new
one and I can't get a job until AFTER the musical. My mom is willing to pay
for half of it so it shouldn't be too long. Until then, expect updates to
be few and far between because I have to get the files off of my laptop and
I don't like turning it on and zapping up my batteries.
Thanks for being understanding
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We waited together, worried about what would happen. Heavy footfalls came up the stairs. The door swung open slower than it had before. Uncle Rick stuck his head in. "Desert is on the table." Unsuppressed anger rang in his voice. He was attempting to act normal but he was not the actor that Dee was.
"Don't worry love, I will be there. They cant hurt you." Dee's fingers landed on my arm. He knew how hard this was and I knew that he could see that I was still shaking. Facing strangers was hard but this was beyond hard. These were the people that I had sought to please even before they took me into their house, which was in fact my parent's house because theirs had been too small.
Desert was eaten in silence. Aunt Elena tried to make conversation but soon surrendered to the hush that had fallen over us. I thanked them for the cake, saying that it must have taken her forever to make it so good.
It had surprised me when they didn't say a word about what Uncle Rick had seen. It was clear that he had told Aunt Elena or she wouldn't have looked so uncomfortable. Dee and I tried to leave the table but we were stopped. Tension hung in the air as Uncle Rick spoke. "Dee, you head on up, I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Ryo yet during this visit. I want to correct that."
Dee shot me a look saying that he wanted to stay but knew he would have to leave. My protection was gone, my moral support had abandoned me. Now I was alone. I would have to fight for my love without any help. It was time for me to prove that I cared for him. This was the decisive battle in the stories of old. The hero lost those who he counted on to protect him, he was left to battle the evil forces all by himself. His love was in danger and he could only save it by coming through victorious. I could only hope that this would have just as much of a fairy tale ending.
"Ryo, don't bother saying anything right now." Uncle Rick stood up and rubbed his temples as he paced around the room, thinking of what to say. "How could you? You know better than that. You dare to disgrace us with this? I thought that you actually cared about us!"
"Uncle, I do care, just because I love Dee doesn't mean that I hate you!"
"Yes it does! If you cared at all about either of us then you wouldn't have lowered yourself to his level. And then, to invite him here. You have a lot of nerve Ryo, and I don't like it." He was leaning over me, face inches to mine and teeth bared. "and to think, I thought that you were a decent person."
"I am a decent person, I'm just a decent person who has fallen in love. I'm happier like this." I tried to sound confident but I knew that I wasn't convincing anyone. I had always tried to please them, now it seemed like I had done something just to make them mad.
"How could any fag be a decent person? I thought that your parents had taught you better than that. Fortunately, there is still time to fix this, or at least there had better be. If you lost your virginity to that...that...man, I swear that you will wish that you had never met him."
"No, I didn't, really. I haven't done it with him, or anyone else for that matter." I swallowed hard as he stood up. The chair creaked as he lifted his arm off of it and sat down in his own.
"Good, then there is still time. I want you to forget about him right now. Leave him for the trash that he is. You might already have been tainted, but at least you weren't ruined. There is still hope that this can be forgotten about." His indifference to my heart, my love, and to me in general was almost more than I could bare. He didn't care about me, just the family name.
"No! I couldn't just forget about him. I don't even want to think about it." My eyes darted from my uncle to my aunt. Maybe she would forgive me even if he wouldn't. She was understanding and sympathetic. She was also a hopeless romantic. She looked down at the floor, avoiding my gaze. Even she was ashamed of me.
"You think that you are in love but it isn't anything but evil! He has gotten into your mind, changed you. You stay with him and you are bound to end up dead. He will take what he wants from you body and then leave you. Even worse, you might not fill his desires, as can be expected with gays, they are all so horny that it takes at least two people to satisfy them, if that few. He will take others behind your back. By the time that you find out about it, it will be too late. You will be in a hospital slowly dieing of aids. Is that what you want?"
I looked at the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at either of them. That wasn't going to happen, Dee would never do something like that to me. He cared to much. I could never convey to them what I thought of him but I had to try something. I opened my mouth to speak but Uncle Rick stopped me.
"That scum isn't any better than the rest of them! You are nothing more than a whore to him. He could care less what happens to you. The only thing that he cares about is satisfying his sick lust." I fought tears my away. That was what I had thought when he first began hitting on me. Now I knew that if it were true he would have given up.
"Uncle, he isn't going to do that, he loves me even if you cant see it. I fended off his advances for a long time because I thought that he only wanted me to go to bed with him. Now that I have spent more time with him, I know that he loves me, not just by body."
"Bull shit Ryo!" Uncle Rick stood up from his chair again, knocking it over in the process. "That kind of love is imposable. No man could love another man, they are just good at tricking someone into thinking that. Don't be an idiot! Nothing that wrong could be true! Men were not created to love other men, any that say that they do are lying or delusional."
"Your wrong!" My voice tore out of my throat. He needed to listen to me. If he didn't then there was no hope of ever getting him to accept me again.
All of his bottled up rage escaped him for a moment. He raised his hand up and brought it down on my face. I couldn't do anything except look up at him stunned. He had hit me. The uncle that had protected me from bullies at school had just slapped me. I could only stare in disbelief.
"Look faggot! We are only trying to help, but I see that like the rest of your kind, you are too stupid and stubborn to listen. You just assume that we are the ones with the problems, not you because you are too perfect. All that you care about is yourself! If you gave a damn about that mutt of a son you adopted then you would push Dee away for his sake. Instead, you decide to ignore him. No child should have to grow up in such a home. Why wont you open your eyes and look around? Maybe you might see that you aren't the only one in the world and you wont be so selfish next time!" He stormed out of the room, shoes making loud slams on the linoleum floor of the kitchen.
Was he right? Was I too selfish to see that I was hurting people around me? No, it couldn't be. Bikky was slowly growing to accept Dee and realize that he wasn't going to leave me. I couldn't be hurting JJ more than he deserved. If anyone was doing that then it would be Dee.
Aunt Elena looked at me for the first time after finding out. "Why Ryo, why couldn't you have told us. I trusted you." She stood up and walked out of the room. Unlike my uncle, her eyebrows were not furrowed with anger. She was just disappointed in me, I didn't know which hurt worse.
I wanted to run up to Dee, tell him what had happened and feel his arms around me. I couldn't do that. I couldn't let him see the tears that were working their way out of my eyes. My small frame shook with sobs. I needed him but I couldn't show him how weak I was right now. I had to be strong for him.
How could I have been so stupid to believe that they would welcome me with open arms. I was too different. If I had taken my time I might have been able to tell them about it, maybe then they might have understood. Instead, I let them know in the worst way. If I possibly could have found a way to shock them more, I didn't know what it was. How could I expect them to think that he meant any more to me than a good time when that was all that they saw. The stereotypes ran too deep, the stories were too heart wrenching.
I sat down there for an hour, my tears slowed and then stopped, I had run out of them. Emotionally exhausted, I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. The imprint of his hand was still visible on my cheek and it was beginning to bruise.
I heard a knock on the door. I didn't answer but it squeaked open. I braced myself for my uncle's torments again but nothing came. A hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up into Dee's emerald eyes. They were damp as though he was holding back tears
"When you didn't come back upstairs I got worried." He explained, his tone gentle. He shifted around to hug me. "Ryo, tell me what happened."
"Nothing, it isn't important." I had to fight this battle for myself. If Dee helped, then I wouldn't feel like I had confronted it. I would just be hiding from it like I had before. Dee had shoved me from the hiding spot, now I had to work to keep myself out of it. Planning on telling him this, I made the mistake of looking up. His eyes landed on my still burning cheek.
"That dirty bastard hit you!" Dee stood up and paced around for a moment to work out his anger. I begged him not to hurt him. He said that he wouldn't but I had heard that one before. He headed out of the door, slamming it as he went. From where I sat I could hear him out there, fighting my battle for me.
"He deserved what he got! It is the only way that he will learn"
"Learn what? To be as much of a stuck up jerk as you?" Dee's usual comforting voice was gone. I had only heard him sound like this twice. Both times he nearly killed a man. "Just because you wont open your eyes and see that he is in love doesn't mean that he has to live in darkness with you."
"You are just as sick as the rest of them Dee. Go get your stuff and bring them down here. You are sleeping on the couch, not with Ryo. He deserves better than you"
I didn't hear Dee say anything else. He must have gone upstairs. I stood on unsteady legs and walked out of the dining room. Uncle Rick kept his disapproving gaze on me as I crossed the living room and headed upstairs. "Ryo," he called after me "you keep away from him."
His voice had lost the rage that it had held before, but it still retained the hatred that I had feared. He knew very well that I didn't plan on listening to him, but still thought that it was important to warn me.
"Dee!" I threw the door open and ran inside my room. "Don't sleep downstairs tonight, I need you." I looked down at the floor, embarrassed by what I was about to say. "I'm scared of him. I don't want to know what might happen if he comes into my room tonight. Even worse, if he hurts you."
"I can take care of myself Ryo. Just worry about yourself. I don't think that he would hurt you, but lock your door anyway. It is better to be safe than sorry."
Dee sauntered out of my room and I locked the door. I didn't even want to think of what dangers he might be facing. My uncle was a strong man. Dee could defend himself in hand to hand combat but Uncle Rick might be armed. It didn't even have to be with a gun. He could be deadly with a bat. When I was younger he beat off a would be mugger with a just a stick that was laying alongside a tree. He had taken karate, there was no doubt about that. The belts were displayed on the wall next to the trophies. He never made it up to black belt but he could have if he hadn't moved before taking the test.
I laid in my bed, tossing and turning. I couldn't get my mind off of Dee. I didn't know how he was. Uncle Rick could have hurt him, he could be in pain and I was just cuddled up in my bed. Dee was strong but no one was perfect. I stayed there for as long as I could before decided that I could never rest if I didn't have him close. I grabbed my pillow and my blanket in one hand and took my flashlight in the other. I opened my door and walked out, making little or no sound. Being a police officer helps with learning to walk without making noise, if only by just offering up time to practice.
I laid my blanket out next to the couch. Before going to sleep I made sure that Dee was still whole. Satisfied with my answer, I snuggled into the blanket. My dreams were naught but nightmares, being hunted down by people that I loved. The last nightmare that I had was the worst. I dreamt of Dee's funeral. He had been murdered by my uncle but they blamed me for it. They said that it was my fault because I wouldn't listen to them. After that one I couldn't stand it any more.
I sat up and started shaking Dee's arm until he opened his eyes. He rubbed them before sitting up. Taking advantage of the new space made on the couch, I scooted up there. "Ryo, babe, what's wrong? You are supposed to be upstairs sound asleep in your bed. Why are you down here?" I could tell that he was angry with me for coming down but he was more worried than anything else.
"I had nightmares, I got scared." I looked up into his eyes with a face that just screamed 'hold me, I need you, I love you!' he did just that. My head rested on my shoulder as I told him what had happened. He kissed the back of my head and whispered in my ear.
"That will never happen, I will make sure of it. It would take more than that to kill me. I have luck on my side, plus I have nine lives, or so it seems." I worried that he was going to send me back up to my room. I could never sleep in such a large bed by myself anymore. I needed Dee there with me.
To my surprise, he didn't ask me to leave. Instead, he held me close until we drifted off to sleep. This time, the nightmares didn't come. I was safe in Dee's arms. He loved me and no one, no thing, no way, no how, could change that.
+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+
ah, wasn't the ending sweet? I thought so. Review for a faster update, well, as fast as you can get it. (oh, and remember to be honest!)
Thanks for being understanding
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
We waited together, worried about what would happen. Heavy footfalls came up the stairs. The door swung open slower than it had before. Uncle Rick stuck his head in. "Desert is on the table." Unsuppressed anger rang in his voice. He was attempting to act normal but he was not the actor that Dee was.
"Don't worry love, I will be there. They cant hurt you." Dee's fingers landed on my arm. He knew how hard this was and I knew that he could see that I was still shaking. Facing strangers was hard but this was beyond hard. These were the people that I had sought to please even before they took me into their house, which was in fact my parent's house because theirs had been too small.
Desert was eaten in silence. Aunt Elena tried to make conversation but soon surrendered to the hush that had fallen over us. I thanked them for the cake, saying that it must have taken her forever to make it so good.
It had surprised me when they didn't say a word about what Uncle Rick had seen. It was clear that he had told Aunt Elena or she wouldn't have looked so uncomfortable. Dee and I tried to leave the table but we were stopped. Tension hung in the air as Uncle Rick spoke. "Dee, you head on up, I haven't gotten a chance to talk to Ryo yet during this visit. I want to correct that."
Dee shot me a look saying that he wanted to stay but knew he would have to leave. My protection was gone, my moral support had abandoned me. Now I was alone. I would have to fight for my love without any help. It was time for me to prove that I cared for him. This was the decisive battle in the stories of old. The hero lost those who he counted on to protect him, he was left to battle the evil forces all by himself. His love was in danger and he could only save it by coming through victorious. I could only hope that this would have just as much of a fairy tale ending.
"Ryo, don't bother saying anything right now." Uncle Rick stood up and rubbed his temples as he paced around the room, thinking of what to say. "How could you? You know better than that. You dare to disgrace us with this? I thought that you actually cared about us!"
"Uncle, I do care, just because I love Dee doesn't mean that I hate you!"
"Yes it does! If you cared at all about either of us then you wouldn't have lowered yourself to his level. And then, to invite him here. You have a lot of nerve Ryo, and I don't like it." He was leaning over me, face inches to mine and teeth bared. "and to think, I thought that you were a decent person."
"I am a decent person, I'm just a decent person who has fallen in love. I'm happier like this." I tried to sound confident but I knew that I wasn't convincing anyone. I had always tried to please them, now it seemed like I had done something just to make them mad.
"How could any fag be a decent person? I thought that your parents had taught you better than that. Fortunately, there is still time to fix this, or at least there had better be. If you lost your virginity to that...that...man, I swear that you will wish that you had never met him."
"No, I didn't, really. I haven't done it with him, or anyone else for that matter." I swallowed hard as he stood up. The chair creaked as he lifted his arm off of it and sat down in his own.
"Good, then there is still time. I want you to forget about him right now. Leave him for the trash that he is. You might already have been tainted, but at least you weren't ruined. There is still hope that this can be forgotten about." His indifference to my heart, my love, and to me in general was almost more than I could bare. He didn't care about me, just the family name.
"No! I couldn't just forget about him. I don't even want to think about it." My eyes darted from my uncle to my aunt. Maybe she would forgive me even if he wouldn't. She was understanding and sympathetic. She was also a hopeless romantic. She looked down at the floor, avoiding my gaze. Even she was ashamed of me.
"You think that you are in love but it isn't anything but evil! He has gotten into your mind, changed you. You stay with him and you are bound to end up dead. He will take what he wants from you body and then leave you. Even worse, you might not fill his desires, as can be expected with gays, they are all so horny that it takes at least two people to satisfy them, if that few. He will take others behind your back. By the time that you find out about it, it will be too late. You will be in a hospital slowly dieing of aids. Is that what you want?"
I looked at the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at either of them. That wasn't going to happen, Dee would never do something like that to me. He cared to much. I could never convey to them what I thought of him but I had to try something. I opened my mouth to speak but Uncle Rick stopped me.
"That scum isn't any better than the rest of them! You are nothing more than a whore to him. He could care less what happens to you. The only thing that he cares about is satisfying his sick lust." I fought tears my away. That was what I had thought when he first began hitting on me. Now I knew that if it were true he would have given up.
"Uncle, he isn't going to do that, he loves me even if you cant see it. I fended off his advances for a long time because I thought that he only wanted me to go to bed with him. Now that I have spent more time with him, I know that he loves me, not just by body."
"Bull shit Ryo!" Uncle Rick stood up from his chair again, knocking it over in the process. "That kind of love is imposable. No man could love another man, they are just good at tricking someone into thinking that. Don't be an idiot! Nothing that wrong could be true! Men were not created to love other men, any that say that they do are lying or delusional."
"Your wrong!" My voice tore out of my throat. He needed to listen to me. If he didn't then there was no hope of ever getting him to accept me again.
All of his bottled up rage escaped him for a moment. He raised his hand up and brought it down on my face. I couldn't do anything except look up at him stunned. He had hit me. The uncle that had protected me from bullies at school had just slapped me. I could only stare in disbelief.
"Look faggot! We are only trying to help, but I see that like the rest of your kind, you are too stupid and stubborn to listen. You just assume that we are the ones with the problems, not you because you are too perfect. All that you care about is yourself! If you gave a damn about that mutt of a son you adopted then you would push Dee away for his sake. Instead, you decide to ignore him. No child should have to grow up in such a home. Why wont you open your eyes and look around? Maybe you might see that you aren't the only one in the world and you wont be so selfish next time!" He stormed out of the room, shoes making loud slams on the linoleum floor of the kitchen.
Was he right? Was I too selfish to see that I was hurting people around me? No, it couldn't be. Bikky was slowly growing to accept Dee and realize that he wasn't going to leave me. I couldn't be hurting JJ more than he deserved. If anyone was doing that then it would be Dee.
Aunt Elena looked at me for the first time after finding out. "Why Ryo, why couldn't you have told us. I trusted you." She stood up and walked out of the room. Unlike my uncle, her eyebrows were not furrowed with anger. She was just disappointed in me, I didn't know which hurt worse.
I wanted to run up to Dee, tell him what had happened and feel his arms around me. I couldn't do that. I couldn't let him see the tears that were working their way out of my eyes. My small frame shook with sobs. I needed him but I couldn't show him how weak I was right now. I had to be strong for him.
How could I have been so stupid to believe that they would welcome me with open arms. I was too different. If I had taken my time I might have been able to tell them about it, maybe then they might have understood. Instead, I let them know in the worst way. If I possibly could have found a way to shock them more, I didn't know what it was. How could I expect them to think that he meant any more to me than a good time when that was all that they saw. The stereotypes ran too deep, the stories were too heart wrenching.
I sat down there for an hour, my tears slowed and then stopped, I had run out of them. Emotionally exhausted, I buried my face in my hands. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. The imprint of his hand was still visible on my cheek and it was beginning to bruise.
I heard a knock on the door. I didn't answer but it squeaked open. I braced myself for my uncle's torments again but nothing came. A hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up into Dee's emerald eyes. They were damp as though he was holding back tears
"When you didn't come back upstairs I got worried." He explained, his tone gentle. He shifted around to hug me. "Ryo, tell me what happened."
"Nothing, it isn't important." I had to fight this battle for myself. If Dee helped, then I wouldn't feel like I had confronted it. I would just be hiding from it like I had before. Dee had shoved me from the hiding spot, now I had to work to keep myself out of it. Planning on telling him this, I made the mistake of looking up. His eyes landed on my still burning cheek.
"That dirty bastard hit you!" Dee stood up and paced around for a moment to work out his anger. I begged him not to hurt him. He said that he wouldn't but I had heard that one before. He headed out of the door, slamming it as he went. From where I sat I could hear him out there, fighting my battle for me.
"He deserved what he got! It is the only way that he will learn"
"Learn what? To be as much of a stuck up jerk as you?" Dee's usual comforting voice was gone. I had only heard him sound like this twice. Both times he nearly killed a man. "Just because you wont open your eyes and see that he is in love doesn't mean that he has to live in darkness with you."
"You are just as sick as the rest of them Dee. Go get your stuff and bring them down here. You are sleeping on the couch, not with Ryo. He deserves better than you"
I didn't hear Dee say anything else. He must have gone upstairs. I stood on unsteady legs and walked out of the dining room. Uncle Rick kept his disapproving gaze on me as I crossed the living room and headed upstairs. "Ryo," he called after me "you keep away from him."
His voice had lost the rage that it had held before, but it still retained the hatred that I had feared. He knew very well that I didn't plan on listening to him, but still thought that it was important to warn me.
"Dee!" I threw the door open and ran inside my room. "Don't sleep downstairs tonight, I need you." I looked down at the floor, embarrassed by what I was about to say. "I'm scared of him. I don't want to know what might happen if he comes into my room tonight. Even worse, if he hurts you."
"I can take care of myself Ryo. Just worry about yourself. I don't think that he would hurt you, but lock your door anyway. It is better to be safe than sorry."
Dee sauntered out of my room and I locked the door. I didn't even want to think of what dangers he might be facing. My uncle was a strong man. Dee could defend himself in hand to hand combat but Uncle Rick might be armed. It didn't even have to be with a gun. He could be deadly with a bat. When I was younger he beat off a would be mugger with a just a stick that was laying alongside a tree. He had taken karate, there was no doubt about that. The belts were displayed on the wall next to the trophies. He never made it up to black belt but he could have if he hadn't moved before taking the test.
I laid in my bed, tossing and turning. I couldn't get my mind off of Dee. I didn't know how he was. Uncle Rick could have hurt him, he could be in pain and I was just cuddled up in my bed. Dee was strong but no one was perfect. I stayed there for as long as I could before decided that I could never rest if I didn't have him close. I grabbed my pillow and my blanket in one hand and took my flashlight in the other. I opened my door and walked out, making little or no sound. Being a police officer helps with learning to walk without making noise, if only by just offering up time to practice.
I laid my blanket out next to the couch. Before going to sleep I made sure that Dee was still whole. Satisfied with my answer, I snuggled into the blanket. My dreams were naught but nightmares, being hunted down by people that I loved. The last nightmare that I had was the worst. I dreamt of Dee's funeral. He had been murdered by my uncle but they blamed me for it. They said that it was my fault because I wouldn't listen to them. After that one I couldn't stand it any more.
I sat up and started shaking Dee's arm until he opened his eyes. He rubbed them before sitting up. Taking advantage of the new space made on the couch, I scooted up there. "Ryo, babe, what's wrong? You are supposed to be upstairs sound asleep in your bed. Why are you down here?" I could tell that he was angry with me for coming down but he was more worried than anything else.
"I had nightmares, I got scared." I looked up into his eyes with a face that just screamed 'hold me, I need you, I love you!' he did just that. My head rested on my shoulder as I told him what had happened. He kissed the back of my head and whispered in my ear.
"That will never happen, I will make sure of it. It would take more than that to kill me. I have luck on my side, plus I have nine lives, or so it seems." I worried that he was going to send me back up to my room. I could never sleep in such a large bed by myself anymore. I needed Dee there with me.
To my surprise, he didn't ask me to leave. Instead, he held me close until we drifted off to sleep. This time, the nightmares didn't come. I was safe in Dee's arms. He loved me and no one, no thing, no way, no how, could change that.
+~+~+~+~+~+~~+~+~+~+~+~+
ah, wasn't the ending sweet? I thought so. Review for a faster update, well, as fast as you can get it. (oh, and remember to be honest!)