Silently Deciding
Thank you everyone for your reviews. I present to you the next long-awaited chapter.
::thoughts:: -'inner voice'-
Chapter Seven: Awaken the Conflicts
Part 3: Genuinely Caught in a Struggle
First Day- Sunday Afternoon
"Kairi! You're finally awake! I was so worried about you," Sora said. He wanted to rush over and envelope her in a huge hug, but he was unable to do so because of his current position. Riku was still above him and he dared not to move away, afraid of how the silver-haired boy would react.
Kairi let out a snort of disbelief and crossed her arms over her chest. The mark on her cheek was now gone but the mark on their hearts from her taken damage was still painfully alive. Sora felt guilty for letting her get hurt and even guiltier for almost giving into the one who had injured her. "You were worried, huh? You seem to have gotten over it pretty quickly though," she said, gesturing with her right hand waving back and forth at their close bodies.
The silver-haired youth stepped away from his best friend and Sora felt empty without Riku's warmth. Before he could open his mouth to say anything however, Kairi continued to speak.
"But I get it now... I get it Riku. I heard you when you said you won't be here in a few days. I get it. You want to end it. So why not do it now Riku? Why not get it over with and spare yourself the heartbreak when you know for certain that Sora will not want to be with someone like you?"
The two boys were shocked at Kairi's words and they just stood their dumbly with their mouths open in awe. They couldn't believe she had just said that. Did that mean they weren't friends anymore, any of them?
Sora was confused. He felt lost and his heart felt heavy. Riku, too, felt lost but his heart was light with no emotion. He didn't know what to feel anymore. What was he to do? Should he just give up? No! He wouldn't do that. He'd never give up. He never has and he won't start now.
Kairi stretched out her hand. In her palm was the knife from before. Riku must have dropped it when they were yelling at each other before, but here it was now, offered to him. The sunlight from the window behind Kairi, glinting off the blade, shining and gleaming, was alluring and captivating to the eyes. The sharp tip of the blade could press into flesh and break through like it was thin paper. He could just imagine his dark red blood dripping and running down the metallic sides slowly, falling onto the ground without a hint of a sound. Another drop would follow and all that would be left of him would be a decaying corpse, a blade, and a few drops of his crimson blood on the floor that would turn black as it dried.
"You want to end everything, don't you Riku? That is what you want, isn't it? Go on. Take the knife and grasp onto your desire. You can do it Riku."
The brunet thought he understood now. Riku wants to kill Kairi and end her life so that he can get what he wants. ::Riku had even told me himself that I was what he wanted. He wants me and in order to get what he wants, he thinks Kairi will be his way to victory. How could he think something so stupid like that? Aren't we all friends?::
"No Riku," Sora protested weakly. "Don't do it. Please don't do it."
Riku's back was facing him and he didn't bother to turn around and talk to him face to face. Riku didn't know if he could handle it if Sora saw his emotions clear as day on his face. He would feel himself crumpling under the weight of his beloved's gaze but he couldn't let it show. He had to be strong but even though he chanted this in his head like a new personal mantra, he felt himself given into the urge to surrender.
"I don't get you Sora. I mean, I really don't understand you. Won't you be happier once this is over? Don't you want to end this like I do?"
He paused as he heard a low chocked gasp.
"I admit Sora, I do. I do want this to end. I want everything to be over and you'll be able to be happy again. I know you will. You're suffering right now Sora and I can't stand it to see you suffer. Much more, be the one who is causing this for you. This will do us all some good."
Kairi sneered at his words and folded her hand, holding the knife, into a fist, not caring about the sharp blade that dug into her skin. "You are the cause Riku. You say you don't understand Sora but you are the one who is so confusing. You hurt me," she growled her last words and continued, her hand tightening around the edges of the knife. "Then you suddenly have this mental idea that even though you are a cold heartless friend, Sora will return your feelings." She cruelly laughed at this, even at the sight of Riku's slightly pained look.
"You don't know that," the older youth spoke softly, doubt lingering in his words yet hope still remaining faintly. He looked at the girl's hand that was crushing down on the knife.
He thought about something for a moment, talking it over in his head, before lifting it and looking Kairi straight in the eyes with a proud expression. He stretched out his arm and opened his hand palm up. "Give me the knife Kairi. Now." His expression didn't change and it remained stoic and unreadable, even proud with a sense of arrogance.
Riku didn't turn as he heard the shocked gasp behind him. He didn't lower his gaze as the weapon was dropped into his hands. He didn't blink as Kairi's expression turned horrified and doubtful. He didn't cower under his emotions as he twirled the knife around in his dexterous hands. He didn't breathe as he felt himself falling through the glass.
Sora couldn't believe his eyes even if the scene was playing right in front of him without a pause. Maybe he didn't want to believe it. His best friend was really going to do this and hurt his other friend in the world and there was nothing he could do about it except watch. He felt so helpless and he couldn't let it end this way. This was not the way he was going to remember his two friends. There was no way he could find the strength to.
He felt a harsh noise bounce off the ways and he knew it was his own voice that had caused the sound. His eyes flickered over the two people in the room with him. He didn't know what he was doing when he rushed towards Riku to stop the knife from going through Kairi's body. All he knew was that he wanted to stop it and end this mess.
The brunet ran towards his best friend ready to knock the weapon out of his hands before any more harm was done. The force and momentum of his blow that connected to Riku's body threw them both off-guard and off- balance. They stumbled for a bit, heading in the direction of the insecure window in Selphie's room. They crashed into the window, shattering it and tumbled out of the room. Glass cut across their faces and arms but they were only concerned about their landing as of now.
Screams and yelps for help fell upon deaf ears. Kairi was clearly panic-stricken. She rushed over to the window, not caring if she stepped on any glass on her way as she walked on her bare feet. Looking out, she saw they had landed in a tangle of limbs inside the cocoon of dust that was sprayed in the air from their sudden impact. She couldn't tell if they were unconscious or awake but the dizziness of the overwhelming heat and the trauma of this little predicament sent her senses spiraling into danger.
Heaving and gasping for breath, she fell to the floor on her knees, clutching her throat. Recalling the events that had just appeared, the horror took hold of her again. Wheezing out a plea for help, she collapsed on the floor with her hands still holding onto her slim neck.
Riku was out cold. His eyes were shut tight as if to block out the world as much as he could and his lips were parted and frowning. His forehead was wrinkled with worry lines and his cheeks were flushed. Specks of dirt fell on his nose as the dust settled from their abrupt fall.
Sora felt so sorry for him and his heart thumped painfully in his chest at the look on his best friend's face. He reached out a hand and held his palm to the smooth cheek of his rival. His instincts took over and he shushed the other boy calmly, caressing his cheek with the pad of his thumb, luring him into a peaceful sleep. The lines of his forehead ceased from existence slowly and his eyelids released some pressure, smoothing out the delicate skin located there and seeming relaxed.
Leaning down, going on gut feelings and blaming this heady feeling on the unexpected fall, Sora ghosted his lips against the unmoving ones belonging to the silver-haired boy. It was more of a brushing of their lips rather than a kiss, but the brunet had wanted to feel that connection of warmth once again. He longed for it and missed it. Was it just a kiss he was missing or was it the other boy himself?
Before the young Keyblade master could move away, he felt a hesitant set of lips move languidly against his. Sora pulled back slowly and tentatively opened his eyes to meet a pair of surprised aquamarine orbs. He suddenly felt awkward and didn't know what to do. Should he get off of his best friend and pretend nothing had opened or should he apologize for his actions but say he'd wanted to do it for a long time? He didn't know if he'd say that because he thought it was what Riku wanted or what he truly wanted. He settled for a third option: being concerned for his best friend and seeing where that takes him.
"How are you feeling? Where does it hurt? Does your arm feel sore? Did you still have the knife when you fell? Did that hit you anywhere? Do you have any cuts? Do you need a blood transfusion or maybe an organ donor to help you out? Maybe you--"
"Sora. Sora! Take a breather there or you'll die. What will Kairi do then without a little playmate?"
Alright, so maybe this option wasn't working so well. But then again...
"I'm fine Sora. Just a sore back, that's all. But what's to be expected when you fall out of a second story window and you land on your back?" Riku said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"I'm so sorry! It's my fault really. I didn't mean to! I just didn't want you to hurt Kairi, that's all!" Sora protested, wanting to apologize for his actions, but seeing the pained look cross his best friend's face, he noticed he had probably said the wrong thing.
Riku turned his face to the left side, not wanting Sora to see the haunting and empty look in his eyes, knowing his emotions would shine through and would be easily readable. He didn't want Sora to know how he felt and the extent of those feelings. He knew it would just be a waste of time because the brunet above him would never return his feelings.
"That's all you care about, isn't it? Kairi's safety comes first before anything else, right?"
The cinnamon-haired boy gawked at the older teen below him aghast. ::Is that truly how Riku feels? Does he really believe that I'd really rate Kairi's wellbeing in my mind?::
"Riku, I care about Kairi a lot and she's a very special person and a great friend. She's very important to me so why would you want to get rid of Kairi?"
The before-mentioned boy turned his face and locked his gaze with the younger boy's. His eyes were shining with broken trust and betrayal. He felt used and cheap but closed a barrier around himself, wanting to prevent anymore damage inflicted to his already crumbling heart.
"I was never trying to get rid of Kairi! Like I said before, I would never take her away from you!"
Behind all the tragic heartache, lay anguish and fury. The ocean-eyed youth felt more hatred bubbling inside him, in his blood, for the redheaded girl who was once his friend. He couldn't stand this. Why was it always about Kairi? Why was it always her?
"How can you trust her so much and not me?! Am I even a little bit important to you?!"
Riku flipped them over and rolled Sora beneath him so he knew how it felt to be trapped from something that there was no escape from. So he would know that even though you wanted to get away, it wouldn't be permanent, the problem would remain. But what if the problem was created from inside of your body, tucked away in the hidden crevices of your mind? What if the problem was something he didn't have the courage to face or the strength to destroy? What if the problem was an emotion no one could conquer and something that people always succumbed to?
The younger boy was frightened and his eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights. He couldn't tell if he was shaking from fear or if it was the boy above him, trembling with anger. He was so surprised and caught off-guard from Riku's actions and his words that came spurting from out of his mouth nonstop. He couldn't even hear himself think. He was so wrapped up in the world and the conflicts that had been created between them. How could they clear this whole mess up?
"Why does it always have to be about her Sora?!"
He couldn't answer that question, something he had no answer to. Did he really always put Kairi before him? Did Riku feel left out? Why was he doing this to his best friend? Was he such a horrible person?
"I... Riku... I don't know," he said softly and his rival sneered distastefully at those words. As he heard that broad statement, he applied loads of pressure through the pads of his fingertips onto the delicate tanned skin of Sora's upper arms he had been clutching. He didn't stop until he heard a low squeak from the smaller boy.
"You know how pain feels now, don't you? I'm glad. Get a grip on reality Sora. Kairi's not worth all that attention! Why would you waste your time on her?! She's not worth it!"
Something about those small but firm statements caused a change in the brunet's actions. He suddenly felt so anger and he wanted to lash out and hit something, anything that was in his way. He settled on glaring fiercely at the other youth with the frozen face.
So that's how everything how gotten into this mess but it was far from over.
The younger teen jerked his arms out of his rival's grasp and sat back onto his elbows. This action sped the other youth into action. He straddled Sora's waist, keeping his knees onto the ground and sat back onto Sora's thighs, giving him some more room and personal space but even though he intended to do just that, the other boy reached forward and took hold of the collar on his tank top. Sora brought his face closer so that there was about three inches between their lips.
"Don't you dare say that Riku!!" he hissed in his face, his breath leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. "Kairi's worth more than you know!!"
Why do you totally lose it when it's about her, Riku thought. ::Why is it always her?:: He lowered his gaze, his bangs shielding his eyes from view once again. Maybe he was a coward but he couldn't face his beloved. This battle that had risen between them was going to leave a lifelong scar on his heart.
"How would you know, my precious sky? I thought for a moment there, you didn't know anything or isn't that what you said? So now you're a liar, Sora? How easily you change your mind."
The younger boy growled and clenched his teeth, tightening his grip on the cotton shirt until his knuckles turned white from the pressure. Riku was really starting to piss him off badly.
"Don't like the truth do you Sora? What you can't handle it?"
His pride injured, the brunet couldn't bite back a venomous retort. "Much like the fact you can't handle that I'll never love you back either!"
There was silence, not even the wind was blowing. It seemed like the earth had stopped moving in its course around the sun. All the animals stopped their chattering of squawks and chirping. The sea's gentle waves crashed into each other without a sound. This was probably the calm before the storm.
{----{End of Part 3}----} TBC
Author's Ending Notes: So this wasn't as long as I wanted to be but this seems like a nice spot to end it at. How do you all like Kairi's reaction? And see what poor little vulnerable Sora did; he confused Riku's plans. Who's going to be the one to tell him otherwise: Kairi or Riku? Let's vote on this one! There's also another clue in here about a later chapter. Give you a hint. It is very close to the ending of this chappie! Please review! And so sorry for the late update. I didn't know how to write this one ;;