Sorry this one is a little bit late... Calculus final is coming up, so I'm
in quite an anxious state. ^^;;
Chapter Sixteen - Yuugiri - Evening Mist
"Sai!?" Touya Kouyo paused for a moment, allowing himself to catch his breath. The doctor had said no physical exertion - a man with a chronic heart condition like himself had no business running through suburban Tokyo in the dark. Still, Kouyo pressed on, albeit more slowly. "Akira?!"
Neither father nor son was inclined towards rash decisions. They were the type to quietly calculate, never making a poor move based on impulse or haste. And now, thought Kouyo, it was a little ironic for them both to be chasing someone through the night. Sai had said "Hikaru"... that was Shindou's name. It didn't take a horrible stretch of the imagination to piece together Akira and Hikaru's feelings, even for a somewhat distant father like Touya Kouyo.
Sai was another issue. What had that kiss meant? It had been so sudden - both of them seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement to keep whatever transpired between them a secret from Akira, but questions still ricocheted in Kouyo's mind. It was foolish to believe oneself in love with someone when one could measure time together in days, and when one knew nothing of his lover's past. That kiss... had been a test, to see what the next move would be.
The enigmatic Go master could be anywhere - rows of neat suburban homes and small shops gave an uneven backdrop that made it difficult to pick out anything in the darkness. Kouyo sighed. Akira was young, and his rushing off was unusual, but his son was changing. Akira would be able to find his way home. Sai... Sai disturbed him. There was an otherworldly air to the man, as if unchecked, he might disappear into the evening mist.
Akira's old elementary school was across the quiet street, reminding Kouyo of a time when his son was simpler and easier to understand. He crossed the road and went into the grass colored black by darkness, balling the fabric of his somewhat impractical hakama into his hands to keep them from getting wet by the night's condensation. The sun had finally disappeared from the horizon, leaving a ruddy smear of burnt orange and a rapidly brightening moon.
At first he thought it to be a trick of the darkness, something conjured up by moonlight and fatigue. But as he drew closer, the pale blotch against black grass resolved itself into a yukata-clad figure, laying face down with its arms splayed out as to suggest a fallen bird.
"Sai!" hissed Kouyo, forgetting the dew and his heart to rush to the other man's side. As Kouyo gently touched his face, Sai's eyelids fluttered. Touya Kouyo was relieved, even though Sai's skin was alarmingly cold.
"Have you seen Hikaru? I can't find him anywhere..." mumbled Sai through bluish lips. His eyes seemed unfocused; each a little reflection of the waning moon. Kouyo eased him upright until both were sitting in the grass.
"Sai, are you alright? What happened?"
"My head hurts." His round, androgynous face winced as he used one hand to brush strands of hair from his eyes. "Where's Hikaru? Hikaru...?"
"Shindou-kun? So you do know him, after all."
"Of course I know him! I spent two years living with... or did I? It's almost like a dream..." Sai clutched at his temple, making a soft cry. "But it keeps growing stronger - only everything is out of order, and..."
"It's okay." He tried to sound comforting, but had the feeling that his words barely reached the young man's ears. Kouyo gathered Sai's body into his arms until he stopped shaking. "Do you remember your name? Perhaps we can find someone else who knows you, who can fill in the gaps."
"Sai is my name," stated the young man, as if that were perfectly obvious. Kouyo had thought "Sai" to be only an alias, but he supposed it could be a real name. "Fujiwara... no... Sai." Kouyo's arms around Sai grew a little tighter. Fujiwara... no...? What a strange name... it was like something one saw in a history book. The Fujiwara family had lost power hundred of years ago, though, and the remaining descendants carried an empty name.
"Fujiwara? I don't know where we would find your family..."
"It's alright." Sai's voice was weak, but very oddly pitched. "They all must have died a long time ago. Yes, it has been a long time since I lived in the old capital. On nights like this we would let paper lanterns flow down the river." A wistful smile crossed his face, but only for a moment. Suddenly, Sai's body went stiff and he began to claw at Kouyo's embrace, his eyes wild. "No!" One hand broke free and grabbed at the older man's collar in desperation. Sai's breathing was ragged as if the thick night air itself was choking him. "No! I don't want to... I don't want to die! I still haven't... the Hand of God... Just let me... Please!" With a great shudder, Sai went limp in Touya Kouyo's arms, slowly collapsing against the other man's chest. A period of time that seemed infinitely long passed, in which Kouyo's mind failed to connect these disparate snapshots of whatever Sai's past had been.
"It's strange to be able to touch you like this, Touya-sensei... Kouyo," came a faltering voice. "It's like I'll pass right through you." Sai's thin fingers traveled aimlessly over Kouyo's lips, while his own face was buried in the older man's neck. "But... this feels so real... but if I was able to sleep for a thousand years; then maybe this is nothing more than a dream."
"What... are you saying, Sai?" Sai's words didn't make any sense. To hear the young man speak of thousand-year spans of time was disconcerting, to say the least... but when he helped Sai to sit up on his own, he caught a glimpse of the other man's eyes. Beyond the glittering midnight-blue was something old, intense and overwhelming. Kouyo looked away, wondering if he should believe in tricks of the moonlight.
"I've done something terrible in forgetting my past. I didn't know it, but I... I must have abandoned him! Hikaru..." His body seemed to cave in weakly, shoulders trembling with barely audible sobs. Kouyo wished feverently that there was some way to stop the other man's tears, but he could not find the words. Sai's whispered "Forgive me" blared in his ears and strangled other thoughts.
"You were Shindou's teacher?" he asked, finally. Sai looked at him with those sad, ancient eyes and whispered soft words.
"I was a part of him. When you thought you were playing Hikaru, that was me. I was jealous of him, a little..." The long haired man smiled slightly, lowering his gaze. "You only saw Hikaru, while I longed to be the one sitting opposite you. My terrible selfishness..."
"I don't understand."
"You've studied Shuusaku, I'm sure. That was me, too."
"That's impossible. Shuusaku died over one hundred years ago." Sai's face was expressionless, those cool eyes burning in Touya Kouyo's mind even after he looked away. The former Meijin was not a superstitious man. For him, there was only the world that could be reduced to black and white. Yet the feeling of Sai's fingers curling against his sent a peculiar tingle through his body, as if the two of them had both slipped into some ghostly otherworld. "A hundred years, Sai...?"
"A thousand." Quietly, Kouyo stood up, pulling Sai with him. They were almost face-to-face, yet Kouyo could not bear to look into those tragic eyes again.
"It's late. We should go home to wait for Akira." Kouyo felt Sai's nod of agreement as a soft brush of hair against his face. Quietly, they began the walk home, holding onto one another as if fearing that the night air and the ethereal light would somehow tear them apart.
Useful Japanese Section:
Yuugiri - Chapter 39 of "Genji", meaning night mist. Hakama - Kouyo's pants/skirt thing. Yukata - A simple light kimono; traditional warm-weather wear and house clothing.
Chapter Sixteen - Yuugiri - Evening Mist
"Sai!?" Touya Kouyo paused for a moment, allowing himself to catch his breath. The doctor had said no physical exertion - a man with a chronic heart condition like himself had no business running through suburban Tokyo in the dark. Still, Kouyo pressed on, albeit more slowly. "Akira?!"
Neither father nor son was inclined towards rash decisions. They were the type to quietly calculate, never making a poor move based on impulse or haste. And now, thought Kouyo, it was a little ironic for them both to be chasing someone through the night. Sai had said "Hikaru"... that was Shindou's name. It didn't take a horrible stretch of the imagination to piece together Akira and Hikaru's feelings, even for a somewhat distant father like Touya Kouyo.
Sai was another issue. What had that kiss meant? It had been so sudden - both of them seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement to keep whatever transpired between them a secret from Akira, but questions still ricocheted in Kouyo's mind. It was foolish to believe oneself in love with someone when one could measure time together in days, and when one knew nothing of his lover's past. That kiss... had been a test, to see what the next move would be.
The enigmatic Go master could be anywhere - rows of neat suburban homes and small shops gave an uneven backdrop that made it difficult to pick out anything in the darkness. Kouyo sighed. Akira was young, and his rushing off was unusual, but his son was changing. Akira would be able to find his way home. Sai... Sai disturbed him. There was an otherworldly air to the man, as if unchecked, he might disappear into the evening mist.
Akira's old elementary school was across the quiet street, reminding Kouyo of a time when his son was simpler and easier to understand. He crossed the road and went into the grass colored black by darkness, balling the fabric of his somewhat impractical hakama into his hands to keep them from getting wet by the night's condensation. The sun had finally disappeared from the horizon, leaving a ruddy smear of burnt orange and a rapidly brightening moon.
At first he thought it to be a trick of the darkness, something conjured up by moonlight and fatigue. But as he drew closer, the pale blotch against black grass resolved itself into a yukata-clad figure, laying face down with its arms splayed out as to suggest a fallen bird.
"Sai!" hissed Kouyo, forgetting the dew and his heart to rush to the other man's side. As Kouyo gently touched his face, Sai's eyelids fluttered. Touya Kouyo was relieved, even though Sai's skin was alarmingly cold.
"Have you seen Hikaru? I can't find him anywhere..." mumbled Sai through bluish lips. His eyes seemed unfocused; each a little reflection of the waning moon. Kouyo eased him upright until both were sitting in the grass.
"Sai, are you alright? What happened?"
"My head hurts." His round, androgynous face winced as he used one hand to brush strands of hair from his eyes. "Where's Hikaru? Hikaru...?"
"Shindou-kun? So you do know him, after all."
"Of course I know him! I spent two years living with... or did I? It's almost like a dream..." Sai clutched at his temple, making a soft cry. "But it keeps growing stronger - only everything is out of order, and..."
"It's okay." He tried to sound comforting, but had the feeling that his words barely reached the young man's ears. Kouyo gathered Sai's body into his arms until he stopped shaking. "Do you remember your name? Perhaps we can find someone else who knows you, who can fill in the gaps."
"Sai is my name," stated the young man, as if that were perfectly obvious. Kouyo had thought "Sai" to be only an alias, but he supposed it could be a real name. "Fujiwara... no... Sai." Kouyo's arms around Sai grew a little tighter. Fujiwara... no...? What a strange name... it was like something one saw in a history book. The Fujiwara family had lost power hundred of years ago, though, and the remaining descendants carried an empty name.
"Fujiwara? I don't know where we would find your family..."
"It's alright." Sai's voice was weak, but very oddly pitched. "They all must have died a long time ago. Yes, it has been a long time since I lived in the old capital. On nights like this we would let paper lanterns flow down the river." A wistful smile crossed his face, but only for a moment. Suddenly, Sai's body went stiff and he began to claw at Kouyo's embrace, his eyes wild. "No!" One hand broke free and grabbed at the older man's collar in desperation. Sai's breathing was ragged as if the thick night air itself was choking him. "No! I don't want to... I don't want to die! I still haven't... the Hand of God... Just let me... Please!" With a great shudder, Sai went limp in Touya Kouyo's arms, slowly collapsing against the other man's chest. A period of time that seemed infinitely long passed, in which Kouyo's mind failed to connect these disparate snapshots of whatever Sai's past had been.
"It's strange to be able to touch you like this, Touya-sensei... Kouyo," came a faltering voice. "It's like I'll pass right through you." Sai's thin fingers traveled aimlessly over Kouyo's lips, while his own face was buried in the older man's neck. "But... this feels so real... but if I was able to sleep for a thousand years; then maybe this is nothing more than a dream."
"What... are you saying, Sai?" Sai's words didn't make any sense. To hear the young man speak of thousand-year spans of time was disconcerting, to say the least... but when he helped Sai to sit up on his own, he caught a glimpse of the other man's eyes. Beyond the glittering midnight-blue was something old, intense and overwhelming. Kouyo looked away, wondering if he should believe in tricks of the moonlight.
"I've done something terrible in forgetting my past. I didn't know it, but I... I must have abandoned him! Hikaru..." His body seemed to cave in weakly, shoulders trembling with barely audible sobs. Kouyo wished feverently that there was some way to stop the other man's tears, but he could not find the words. Sai's whispered "Forgive me" blared in his ears and strangled other thoughts.
"You were Shindou's teacher?" he asked, finally. Sai looked at him with those sad, ancient eyes and whispered soft words.
"I was a part of him. When you thought you were playing Hikaru, that was me. I was jealous of him, a little..." The long haired man smiled slightly, lowering his gaze. "You only saw Hikaru, while I longed to be the one sitting opposite you. My terrible selfishness..."
"I don't understand."
"You've studied Shuusaku, I'm sure. That was me, too."
"That's impossible. Shuusaku died over one hundred years ago." Sai's face was expressionless, those cool eyes burning in Touya Kouyo's mind even after he looked away. The former Meijin was not a superstitious man. For him, there was only the world that could be reduced to black and white. Yet the feeling of Sai's fingers curling against his sent a peculiar tingle through his body, as if the two of them had both slipped into some ghostly otherworld. "A hundred years, Sai...?"
"A thousand." Quietly, Kouyo stood up, pulling Sai with him. They were almost face-to-face, yet Kouyo could not bear to look into those tragic eyes again.
"It's late. We should go home to wait for Akira." Kouyo felt Sai's nod of agreement as a soft brush of hair against his face. Quietly, they began the walk home, holding onto one another as if fearing that the night air and the ethereal light would somehow tear them apart.
Useful Japanese Section:
Yuugiri - Chapter 39 of "Genji", meaning night mist. Hakama - Kouyo's pants/skirt thing. Yukata - A simple light kimono; traditional warm-weather wear and house clothing.