Hey, I'm sure you've noticed how long this fic has been on hiatus... err, forgive me. There are several reasons, mostly that I have been busy busy busy. ^^ Just be glad I'm not like J.K. Rowling with several years between installments. ^^;;;
Chapter Nineteen - Kiritsubo - The Pawlonia Pavillion
"Akira... doesn't want to play Go?" Hikaru's voice was hollow. It wasn't that Akira didn't want to play Go... Akira didn't want to play with him. Anger surged through Hikaru's veins to wash away the deep sadness that threatened to reduce him to tears right in the middle of a major competition.
"Uhh... I guess it's a default win, then..." began the girl from the Go salon, a little hesitantly. Most people would be relieved to receive any kind of win against Touya Akira, the most frighteningly intense player of his age that the Go world had seen in decades. Hikaru, though, would never take such an easy victory. He wanted to attack that serene, dark-haired boy on a field of black and white, where defeat would hurt so much more than if Hikaru simply hit him.
"No!" growled Hikaru softly, turning around to look towards the tournament room. Through the narrow doorway he could see the older competitors shuffling through their stones and adjusting their floor cushions. The matches would start soon, without him. The Go salon girl shuffled away uncertainly. Waya, too, apologized quickly and ran off to join his opponent.
How could Akira quit Go? It was the thing he cared about most in the world... Ever since his fight with the other boy, Hikaru had done nothing but study back issues of Go Weekly. He had researched the innovative new defenses of the Chinese and Korean masters and unorthodox American techniques, all for his single-minded goal of beating Touya Akira. Only then would he hurt Akira as deeply as Akira had hurt him.
It still ached inside... the pain had grown less sharp with time, but that dull feeling consumed his thoughts. Akira wouldn't know anything about that kind of pain. All Akira cared about was being the best at something that in the end was nothing more than a game.
Hikaru couldn't stop loving Akira. That was why it still hurt. For over two years, Akira had been a silent force propelling him higher and higher, even though Hikaru had always imagined himself in Akira's shadow. In a way, both Akira and Sai had lived inside him... now that both were gone; he was just Shindou Hikaru again.
"I guess I should go..." he sighed, defeated. There was no one there to hear him. He could hear the polite murmurs as other competitors determined who would make the first move. With his head down, he walked towards the doors.
"No! Hikaru, don't go!" Hikaru looked up in shock. On the other side of the glass doors, a distraught-looking Akira stared at him with wide, almost fearful eyes. His normally straight black hair fell in tangles around his face. Behind him, a small woman clutched her purse as she tried to run in dress shoes.
Hikaru's gaze, however, was locked with the eyes of the other boy. Pressed up against the doors, their breath fogged the glass. Time stopped.
"H...Hikaru."
"Akira." Hikaru fumbled for the handle to open the door.
"The match.... It's already starting!" whispered Akira in alarm. He looked at Hikaru again, his expression a little guarded. "Do you... want to play? It's my fault I was so late... you can take the win if you want to." Akira lowered his head so dark hair obscured his face.
Part of Hikaru wanted to shove past Akira and run, not stopping until the rhythm of his feet drowned out his thoughts. The other half simply wanted to hold Akira tightly and never let go. His body acted awkwardly without any signal from his mind and touched Akira's hand gently. The other boy jumped slightly, but did not recoil. Slowly his fingers curled around Hikaru's.
"I want to play." Akira's hands were cool, but his face was slightly pink. His eyes were rimmed in red - had he been crying? It was strange to think of the icy, implacable Touya Akira as a person who could cry.
They ran to the tournament room, reluctantly unclasping their hands to fit through the doorway. Every head in the room turned to regard the two latecomers with a hint of irritation. Hikaru shuffled into a chair at one of the last empty tables to face Akira. Akira was so quiet and motionless - normally, with him being the higher-ranked player, he would have already done "nigiri" to determine who would go first, but instead he stared blankly at the board.
"Nigiri," said Hikaru, grabbing a handful of stones. If he didn't do something, he would go insane. He hoped his voice didn't quaver too much. The familiar act of deciding who would go first helped to settle his mind a little, but the feeling in the pit of his stomach was exactly like waiting at the top of the most wicked roller coaster in the amusement park. Part excitement, part apprehension... but most of all, wishing that the waiting would end.
"Even," muttered Akira, sliding two stones onto the empty board. Hikaru counted the white stones in his hand, willing himself not to shake.
"Seven. I'll go first." As they switched bowls of stones, Akira looked up from his study of the board's woodgrain and met Hikaru's eyes. Hikaru could see the same fear and hope reflected back at him in that deep blue gaze.
How was he going to keep his mind on the game?! He placed his first stone in the beginnings of an unconventional opening that he had once seen a Korean player use. The shaking disappeared from his hands as he shifted his concentration to the board. The soft click of carefully carved and polished clamshell on aged wood resonated in his mind. He could hear Akira's breathing slow, and imagined his soft face growing serene as a statue of Buddha.
They played quickly, as always, speeding ahead of the older players and filling their board with stones. Akira's defense was slightly weak in the lower left corner, but his offense on the other side of the board was slowly eating at Hikaru's territory... it was rare for Hikaru not to be able to see who was the winner, or even who was ahead in this game. It would be close. Every half-moku would count...
This was what it was about, really... that feverish excitement that overtook his heart and that deep calm of being with a special person... The simple language of black and white points spread over a field of thin engraved lines provided an inscrutable connection between Akira and himself. No one else could understand how both his love for the game and his nascent love for Akira could grow into an all-consuming passion...
Sai would have understood.
Hikaru winced slightly as he placed a stone in the place just next to where he had wanted to put it. Akira looked at him in confusion - it was rare for Hikaru to make such an amateurish mistake.
"Hikaru... do you want to move that stone?" Hikaru gaped. Akira would break the rules of the game... for him?
"N...no... I got a little distracted. It was my mistake." Akira frowned slightly, but made the predictable move and claimed territory for himself. Hikaru would have to fight, now... even though in his heart he didn't want to beat Akira, he knew Akira wanted to face the real Hikaru's strength.
Sai had told him something like that... before he had gone. Why had he left like that, without even a goodbye? Maybe he had been trying to say goodbye for a long time, but Hikaru had taken his ghostly presence for granted. He had stopped letting Sai play go for him... he didn't watch every one of Touya Kouyo's matches on TV... he was always too tired even to play a game before bed with his teacher. Sai... must have been so lonely.
Hikaru hadn't spoken to Akira in a few days, and loneliness had made him bitter and listless. Sai had been alone for the better part of a millennium, and still smiled so cheerfully... Hikaru bit his lip resolutely. Now that Sai was back, he deserved to finish the life he had ended a thousand years ago.
"Ne, Hikaru..." Akira whispered.
"Huh?" He dropped the stone in his hand and let it fall to the floor.
"There's nowhere left to move..." He smiled slightly. "For being that distracted, you played well..
"I guess we should count our stones... we're the only ones finished." The reporters were all huddled around the slower games of the higer-dan players, largely ignoring the two students. He reached out to start moving his stones into orderly areas for easier counting. Akira's fingers brushed his as they reached for the same stones, and they gasped.
"Thank you," whispered Akira.
"For what?"
"For giving me another chance... and for being Hikaru."
Useful Japanese Section!
Title - Kiritsubo - translates to "pawlonia tree pavillion." Pawlonia trees are some sort of imperial tree... I thought it fit with all of those Go players around. ^^
Nigiri - Literally "squeeze." The method for deciding who goes first.
Chapter Nineteen - Kiritsubo - The Pawlonia Pavillion
"Akira... doesn't want to play Go?" Hikaru's voice was hollow. It wasn't that Akira didn't want to play Go... Akira didn't want to play with him. Anger surged through Hikaru's veins to wash away the deep sadness that threatened to reduce him to tears right in the middle of a major competition.
"Uhh... I guess it's a default win, then..." began the girl from the Go salon, a little hesitantly. Most people would be relieved to receive any kind of win against Touya Akira, the most frighteningly intense player of his age that the Go world had seen in decades. Hikaru, though, would never take such an easy victory. He wanted to attack that serene, dark-haired boy on a field of black and white, where defeat would hurt so much more than if Hikaru simply hit him.
"No!" growled Hikaru softly, turning around to look towards the tournament room. Through the narrow doorway he could see the older competitors shuffling through their stones and adjusting their floor cushions. The matches would start soon, without him. The Go salon girl shuffled away uncertainly. Waya, too, apologized quickly and ran off to join his opponent.
How could Akira quit Go? It was the thing he cared about most in the world... Ever since his fight with the other boy, Hikaru had done nothing but study back issues of Go Weekly. He had researched the innovative new defenses of the Chinese and Korean masters and unorthodox American techniques, all for his single-minded goal of beating Touya Akira. Only then would he hurt Akira as deeply as Akira had hurt him.
It still ached inside... the pain had grown less sharp with time, but that dull feeling consumed his thoughts. Akira wouldn't know anything about that kind of pain. All Akira cared about was being the best at something that in the end was nothing more than a game.
Hikaru couldn't stop loving Akira. That was why it still hurt. For over two years, Akira had been a silent force propelling him higher and higher, even though Hikaru had always imagined himself in Akira's shadow. In a way, both Akira and Sai had lived inside him... now that both were gone; he was just Shindou Hikaru again.
"I guess I should go..." he sighed, defeated. There was no one there to hear him. He could hear the polite murmurs as other competitors determined who would make the first move. With his head down, he walked towards the doors.
"No! Hikaru, don't go!" Hikaru looked up in shock. On the other side of the glass doors, a distraught-looking Akira stared at him with wide, almost fearful eyes. His normally straight black hair fell in tangles around his face. Behind him, a small woman clutched her purse as she tried to run in dress shoes.
Hikaru's gaze, however, was locked with the eyes of the other boy. Pressed up against the doors, their breath fogged the glass. Time stopped.
"H...Hikaru."
"Akira." Hikaru fumbled for the handle to open the door.
"The match.... It's already starting!" whispered Akira in alarm. He looked at Hikaru again, his expression a little guarded. "Do you... want to play? It's my fault I was so late... you can take the win if you want to." Akira lowered his head so dark hair obscured his face.
Part of Hikaru wanted to shove past Akira and run, not stopping until the rhythm of his feet drowned out his thoughts. The other half simply wanted to hold Akira tightly and never let go. His body acted awkwardly without any signal from his mind and touched Akira's hand gently. The other boy jumped slightly, but did not recoil. Slowly his fingers curled around Hikaru's.
"I want to play." Akira's hands were cool, but his face was slightly pink. His eyes were rimmed in red - had he been crying? It was strange to think of the icy, implacable Touya Akira as a person who could cry.
They ran to the tournament room, reluctantly unclasping their hands to fit through the doorway. Every head in the room turned to regard the two latecomers with a hint of irritation. Hikaru shuffled into a chair at one of the last empty tables to face Akira. Akira was so quiet and motionless - normally, with him being the higher-ranked player, he would have already done "nigiri" to determine who would go first, but instead he stared blankly at the board.
"Nigiri," said Hikaru, grabbing a handful of stones. If he didn't do something, he would go insane. He hoped his voice didn't quaver too much. The familiar act of deciding who would go first helped to settle his mind a little, but the feeling in the pit of his stomach was exactly like waiting at the top of the most wicked roller coaster in the amusement park. Part excitement, part apprehension... but most of all, wishing that the waiting would end.
"Even," muttered Akira, sliding two stones onto the empty board. Hikaru counted the white stones in his hand, willing himself not to shake.
"Seven. I'll go first." As they switched bowls of stones, Akira looked up from his study of the board's woodgrain and met Hikaru's eyes. Hikaru could see the same fear and hope reflected back at him in that deep blue gaze.
How was he going to keep his mind on the game?! He placed his first stone in the beginnings of an unconventional opening that he had once seen a Korean player use. The shaking disappeared from his hands as he shifted his concentration to the board. The soft click of carefully carved and polished clamshell on aged wood resonated in his mind. He could hear Akira's breathing slow, and imagined his soft face growing serene as a statue of Buddha.
They played quickly, as always, speeding ahead of the older players and filling their board with stones. Akira's defense was slightly weak in the lower left corner, but his offense on the other side of the board was slowly eating at Hikaru's territory... it was rare for Hikaru not to be able to see who was the winner, or even who was ahead in this game. It would be close. Every half-moku would count...
This was what it was about, really... that feverish excitement that overtook his heart and that deep calm of being with a special person... The simple language of black and white points spread over a field of thin engraved lines provided an inscrutable connection between Akira and himself. No one else could understand how both his love for the game and his nascent love for Akira could grow into an all-consuming passion...
Sai would have understood.
Hikaru winced slightly as he placed a stone in the place just next to where he had wanted to put it. Akira looked at him in confusion - it was rare for Hikaru to make such an amateurish mistake.
"Hikaru... do you want to move that stone?" Hikaru gaped. Akira would break the rules of the game... for him?
"N...no... I got a little distracted. It was my mistake." Akira frowned slightly, but made the predictable move and claimed territory for himself. Hikaru would have to fight, now... even though in his heart he didn't want to beat Akira, he knew Akira wanted to face the real Hikaru's strength.
Sai had told him something like that... before he had gone. Why had he left like that, without even a goodbye? Maybe he had been trying to say goodbye for a long time, but Hikaru had taken his ghostly presence for granted. He had stopped letting Sai play go for him... he didn't watch every one of Touya Kouyo's matches on TV... he was always too tired even to play a game before bed with his teacher. Sai... must have been so lonely.
Hikaru hadn't spoken to Akira in a few days, and loneliness had made him bitter and listless. Sai had been alone for the better part of a millennium, and still smiled so cheerfully... Hikaru bit his lip resolutely. Now that Sai was back, he deserved to finish the life he had ended a thousand years ago.
"Ne, Hikaru..." Akira whispered.
"Huh?" He dropped the stone in his hand and let it fall to the floor.
"There's nowhere left to move..." He smiled slightly. "For being that distracted, you played well..
"I guess we should count our stones... we're the only ones finished." The reporters were all huddled around the slower games of the higer-dan players, largely ignoring the two students. He reached out to start moving his stones into orderly areas for easier counting. Akira's fingers brushed his as they reached for the same stones, and they gasped.
"Thank you," whispered Akira.
"For what?"
"For giving me another chance... and for being Hikaru."
Useful Japanese Section!
Title - Kiritsubo - translates to "pawlonia tree pavillion." Pawlonia trees are some sort of imperial tree... I thought it fit with all of those Go players around. ^^
Nigiri - Literally "squeeze." The method for deciding who goes first.