Chapter 11 - Lessons Learned
Double Potions today, Harry thought to himself as he followed Hermione into the classroom. He felt lightheaded. He realized as he stepped in and glanced at Snape getting supplies out of the cabinet behind the desk, that he couldn't really know Snape more than he did and that was an alarming thought.
He took a seat at the table beside Hermione. She leaned over and whispered. "You could probably drop out of this class, Harry. I'm sure Dumbledore would let you." She looked as though she thought she knew what was going on.
"I'll stick with it," Harry whispered back.
"Harry, I've been hearing what happened."
He brought his gaze up to her. "The rumors couldn't be more wrong," Harry said stiffly. "Don't assume, Hermione."
She stared at him and then quickly pretended to take notes. The lecture was long today and Harry had a hard time focusing on it. He mostly copied Hermione's parchment. Until he heard his name.
"Potter?" Snape said, sounding like he was repeating himself.
"Professor?" Harry asked, looking uncertain.
"You didn't hear the question, did you?" Snape sneered at him.
"No, sir."
Snape crossed his arms. "You are a sorry excuse for a Hogwarts student, Potter."
Harry dropped his gaze and frowned at his notes. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Malfoy and company jeering at him.
As they left the classroom and made it to an empty stretch of corridor, Hermione commented, "Boy, Professor Snape sure seems to hate you."
Harry hesitated before answering. "I want to believe that's true."
His friend gave him an odd expression in return. "One of these days you are going to explain yourself, Harry," she said.
"And you will wish I hadn't," Harry retorted.
#########
Two weeks later, Harry felt like things were getting back to normal. Well, except for McGonagall who was much feistier than she had been. She had even started deducting points from Gryffindors when they deserved it, leading to much grumbling.
During the break between afternoon classes, Harry found himself pushing his way through students congregating in the corridor connecting the biggest classrooms. The sound of happy chatter almost hurt his ears as it echoed from the close stone walls.
Harry stopped and turned as he caught sight of the back of Ginny's head and heard her voice saying, "No, I don't think so." It was a voice that, disturbingly, reminded Harry of Hermione and Crabbe. Harry made his way over to his girlfriend. She was talking to a seventh year named Aiken Lamont. She seemed to be trying to politely extricate herself from the conversation.
Harry stepped up to them. "Ginny," Harry said in greeting.
"Hey, Harry," she said in return. "Gotta run, Aiken."
Harry turned to lead Ginny away but Aiken grabbed her arm. Harry turned back to him and stared at the look on the other boy's face. His lips were oddly wet. Harry pried open his mind and froze there for several awful breaths before he clenched his teeth and closed it down. He violently dragged Ginny away.
"I don't want you ever talking to him again," Harry breathed harshly.
"Harry!" she said. "He was just talking."
Harry stopped halfway down the corridor and grabbed her by both shoulders. "Promise me!" he snapped at her.
"All right," she said, sounding disappointed.
Harry looked around him in distress. His face had gone very pale, edging to green. "I have to be sick," he said and dashed toward the Prefect's toilet which let him in, surprisingly.
Ginny stood in the hallway and stared at the closed door. The rest of the students gradually moved on to get to their next class, and eventually, Ginny stood alone.
"Ms. Weasley?" Snape's voice interrupted her worried vigil. "Do you not have class right now?"
"I'm waiting for Harry," she explained as she pointed at the Prefect's toilet. "He said he was sick."
Footsteps from the other direction brought both of their gazes over. McGonagall bore down with a purpose. "Ms. Weasley?" she asked and as she came abreast, actually pulled Ginny toward her away from Snape.
"I'm waiting for Harry," she repeated and indicated the toilet once again.
"What is he doing in there?"
"He said he was sick. It was really strange I was talking to Aiken and he got really angry. . ." she tried to explain, then realized that neither teacher was listening. She glanced up at each of them and the face-off that was forming, and headed immediately for the door to the toilet. It was locked.
"Alohomora!, Decentras!, Cypheractum!," She said pointing with her wand. She took two steps back and ignored McGonagall's comment about it not letting her in. Hell if she was staying in this corridor with two angry professors, especially these two. "Pyrolatchmatum!" she shouted. A bang sounded and smoke poured from the door frame as the door swung open slightly. "Harry?" she said as she pushed it open farther.
Harry sat on a small stool beside the sinks, still very pale. Ginny went over to him. "Are you all right?" she asked. The teachers followed her in, each taking a position on either side of her as though using her as a barricade. "Harry, what happened?" Ginny asked.
Harry ignored her question beyond giving her a pained look. He turned his gaze to McGonagall. "Why did you let him stay here?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowed.
"Potter, we should take you to Pomfrey," McGonagall said, putting the back of her hand against his forehead. "You are covered in cold sweat."
"There is nothing wrong with me!" Harry snapped at her.
"Is he talking about Aiken Lamont?" Snape asked Ginny. At her nod, Snape crouched down. "Potter did you Legilimens Mr. Lamont?"
Harry cringed and nodded reluctantly. "Only because he had grabbed Ginny and he looked so odd," Harry tried to explain. He still felt shaky as though someone had pulled his broom out from under him in midair and he needed to learn how to fly on his own or face hitting the ground.
Snape took Harry's wrist and tried to count his pulse but McGonagall flaked. "Let go of him!" she said and grabbed the back of Snape's robe. Ginny ducked beneath them both and grabbed Harry's arms.
"Harry, why doesn't anyone know what is going on?" she asked.
Snape didn't defend himself, just backed off. McGonagall turned at Ginny's words and stared at the two of them.
Ginny went on, "This is stupid. Why doesn't Dumbledore trust Professor Mc-" she stopped at the warning look on Harry's face.
"Ginny, you have a complaint about Order policy, take it up with the headmaster," Harry stated. He was shaking more now. His heart refused to slow down and it was making him startlingly dizzy. "Professor McGonagall, I need someone to help me and Professor Snape knows how. Please don't interfere with him."
Snape shot a look at his colleague and crouched back down and took up Harry's wrist. He shook his head at his pulse. "Close your eyes, Potter. What has happened, is that in your horror, you left part of yourself behind."
Harry leaned his head back against the sink and clenched his eyes shut. That didn't sound so good.
"You need to reach back out and find it."
"I don't want to go back into his mind," Harry complained.
"You have no choice," Snape stated stridently.
Harry tossed his head from side to side a moment, fighting the notion of reliving the dark, sexual hunger of Aiken's mind. He finally gave in and tried to locate the boy. As he did so, he found, mercifully, just bored note taking in History class. "Now what?" Harry asked.
"Withdraw in a controlled manner by emptying your mind," Snape said gently. "Normally now, forget for the moment what you saw."
Harry's shoulders relaxed and he breathed out. Snape dropped his wrist after a few more moments.
"Better?" Snape asked.
"Yes," Harry admitted. He looked at them. "Why is Lamont still here?" he asked them earnestly.
"If no one will give witness, Harry, it is difficult to prove anything," McGonagall said. "So we keep a very close eye on him."
"Why didn't Rebecca Marx say anything?" The horror and the images hadn't let go of him.
"Why didn't you, Harry?" McGonagall shot back at him.
"I take your point, Professor," Harry said quietly.
McGonagall went on, "It is also difficult if your parents take you for rather extensive, professional memory charms and you transfer to Durmstrang. If we stoop to that level," she said, staring at Snape, "I don't know how we are different."
Harry stared at the ceiling to control himself. A moment later as he moved to stand up, Ginny shifted to help him. He shook out his sweat-soaked robe and looked at his teachers. Snape looked relaxed and McGonagall looked uncertain although this hadn't banked her anger at all. Harry desperately wanted to explain somethings to her, but it wasn't his place.
"Ginny, you are late for class," Harry pointed out at the doorway.
"I will take her to class, Potter," McGonagall said and swooped out passed him, put her hand on Ginny's shoulder and marched her down the hall, leaving Snape and himself alone.
Harry rubbed his eyes. "I can't figure her out," he commented.
"Knowing McGonagall, I expect she believes, in this case, you deserve what you get," Snape commented. "Are you feeling better, Potter?"
Harry rubbed his stiff neck. "As well as I am going to at this point."
"And you have learned-"
". . . my lesson," Harry interrupted. "Yes, Professor."
Snape's gaze went over him a long moment and then he too departed, then stopped and turned back with almost kind expression. "You will have to make your own excuses. I don't think I should walk you to class."
Harry laughed a little. "No, sir."
###########
Harry pulled Ginny along between the Astronomy Tower and the owlery. There was a covered decorative railing on the roof where Fred and George insisted people went for necking when Harry asked them in his last letter. He didn't, of course, tell them who he had in mind.
Because the owls kept the pigeons away it was clean on the stone surface. They ducked under the eve and sat back, giggling a bit at their daring. Harry immediately put his arms around Ginny and pulled her close. She laid her head on his chest and sighed as Harry put his fingers through her bright hair. They sat that way for quite a while, until Ginny raised her head and parted her lips with a hopeful expression. Harry smiled and leaned down and kissed her, drawing her lips between his softly and devouring her gently.
When he stopped, she sat with her eyes closed for a moment and then blinked at him. "Harry, that was really nice. How in the world did you mess up with Cho? If you don't mind my asking."
Harry froze and sat back. "I didn't know what seduction was," Harry commented. "And, rather alarmingly, I do now."
"Oh," she groaned into his robe. "I had to ask."
Harry laughed. "You think that is scary," he commented. "Try this." He put his hand behind her head and pulled her into a seriously all-consuming kiss.
As she caught her breath after, he stroked her cheek and ear.
Ginny said, "I am trying very hard not to care where you learned that. You didn't say before. . ."
"Because I hadn't. If I tell you one last secret, do you still promise to never repeat it?"
"Harry!" She punched him lightly in the stomach. "Of course I won't tell. Trust me, please!"
"Well it isn't about me, that is the problem. If it were my secret I wouldn't have a problem telling you. But I have to tell someone, it is killing me having to carry this around."
"Harry," she said sympathetically and hugged him a bit.
Harry actually glanced around them a little, just to be certain. "If I told you the Potions Master fell for me, what would you say?"
"That you are out of your fucking gourd," Ginny said in disbelief.
"Language, Ms. Weasley. Language," Harry said, mimicking McGonagall, which made Ginny laugh. Harry went on, "That kiss was the last thing he did and then he told Dumbledore it had to stop. You can draw your own conclusions."
"He really kissed you like that?" she asked, fascinated. "I think I would die."
"He almost did. Stopping the ruse was a really bad since Voldemort had to punish him for failing or disobeying, whichever. He ended up beaten bloody with a whip by Belletrix. I even think he knew that was going to happen." Harry looked down at their robes overlapping. Hers was a little washed out and he wondered for a moment if she would let him buy her a new set for her birthday.
"How do you know that?" she asked.
"Because it woke me up and I had to watch it until I could safely block it out."
"Merlin, Harry. You say things to me and I really want to believe you are lying, but you never are." She thought a moment. "He looked fine in class all week," she pointed out.
"I snuck down and took care of him," Harry said and felt much better for the unloading of it. She couldn't seem to find words to respond to that. "I discovered something important though. Two things, really. I have this power Voldemort doesn't have, this older magic, and I think I have a handle on it now. That and hating Snape was a vulnerability I had to get rid of. I have to get rid of all of them. Any weakness is going to make me fail in the end."
Ginny sat up and looked at him from arm's length. "Am I a weakness for you, Harry?" she asked in concern.
"No, Ginny. Not at all," he insisted and pulled her against him more fully this time. He rubbed her back in long strokes and she found his lips this time. Harry felt that clay-like feeling flowing through him again. He slipped his hand inside her robe and stroked her through just her shirt, his hand catching on her bra strap. He slipped both arms around her under her robe and adjusted his legs so she lay between them, across him.
"You can do more if you want," Ginny said quietly.
"I look forward to it, but we should get back soon. That and I don't know if I can stop if we get too far."
"You are a tease, Harry Potter," she said, looking up at him.
"Better than the opposite," Harry said.
"Oh," she said. "That thing with Aiken is still bothering you."
"It is going to be for a long time." He sat up. "We should get back. I don't want to have to duel Ron to the death if he figures out where we have been."
"If it comes to that," she said as they climbed back out onto the roof, "I'll duel him and you can be my second."
The Astronomy Tower was empty when they climbed back into it. Harry hugged her one more time, lifting her off her feet. "Too bad I don't have my broom; we could just fly out," he said, indicating the view with a sweep of his arm.
"Oh, and that wouldn't tell everyone what we were up to."
He looked at her closely. She had a few freckles, but just enough to be cute. "I really like you, Ginny. If it starts to feel like love, I'll let you know right away."
"Oh, Harry," she exclaimed in surprise. "You are far too sweet." Her eyes looked brighter as she said, "I'll let you know too."
"Don't be afraid of it, Ginny," he said, his gaze drawn again to the vista outside the tower. "It is all there is. That and this stupid battle." He turned again to her and ran his thumb over her lips. "You don't make me weak, Ginny," Harry said in wonderment.
"Feeling this is power."
The End
Notes To juxtaposed, no risk of offending, believe me. I was trying for humor in the fact that Harry just up and stuck his head out of the sand and for the first time thought about who he might want to spend time with. Maybe needed to accentuate that more that the suddenness was intentional. I think of Ginny as waiting for Harry in canon, so I didn't think I needed to cover that side.
To Doneril, Percy is freaking at the thought of sex with Snape. Stuff of dark nightmares for him, apparently. Gosh I think that'd be fun to write. What is it with my mood today???
To redredredred, I'll be posting the pure hpss next. Someone explained how to handle the rating conflict (write two versions).
To Masterdeeds, oh, that does make me smile. They are an interesting pairing, or ship I guess I should call it in this fandom.
To Anne Phoenix, hopefully I don't make that mistake of making Harry into Whiteknightprotector. I think I managed okay, but only you all can judge.