A/N: I got my YGO DVDs and I am now veeery happy. Everyone must buy them
little things makes it worth all the money you're going to spend. Okay this
chapter is in Duke's POV and it's very angsty.
Unmentionable Words Chapter four
How could what happened be a mistake? I've been asking myself that question all day but I still have no answer.
I thought. Oh damn it all I thought that he felt the way I did. I thought that he wanted me. That maybe he loved me. But now I don't know what to think.
The way he held me, the way he kissed me and told me that everything would be fine made me think that he loved me, that he truly cared about me like no other ever has. Even when he ran away I did not think that he regretted his actions. I believed he was afraid of how I'd react. I know that I would have thought that way if I had done what he did.
When I came to school this morning I was happy. I was going to tell Tristan that I was in love with him. I had no doubt that he would feel the same. It was only after he fled the lunchroom that I began to worry. But I refused to believe that he didn't love me so I pushed those thoughts away still hoping, begging, and pleading to whatever gods were listening that he would love me.
My prayers were not answered. He screamed at everyone saying that he had made a mistake, oh Tristan why, why did you do that to me? Time seemed to stop for a minute as I registered your words and once time began its flow again he was gone.
The rest of the day passed without me even noticing it. I don't know what was taught nor do I give a damn, not anymore. Nothing matters to me now. Nothing ever has but that was before I met Tristan. And now that any possibility of him loving me is gone nothing is left. Nothing at all.
I have loved him for so long. Ever since he cheered Yuugi on in my stadium. He was so loyal and he never seemed afraid that Yuugi might lose. I fell in love with that. His sensible air and confidence are what attracted me to him and then I got to know him and I felt like I could let go of my fears and worries with him. I didn't have to pretend to always be self-assured. I felt stable with him like there was finally some kind of balance in my life but now that's all gone.
I get up off of my bed walking to my bathroom to clean the salty tearstains form my face. Lying on the corner of the white porcelain sink is a razor blade. I pick it up not really realizing that I have. I haven't even thought of it since I met him but now memories of holing a blade to my tan skin come back to me. When everything was falling apart for me. When I realized I was gay, when I hit a major problem in the development in DDM. I never cut myself too much only enough to feel the pain, to let it block out everything else. I made sure I cut where no one would see, not that there was anyone who would really care anyway. I used to slit the soles of my feet they were the perfect spot. I would watch my skin slide open and the blood would seep out covering my hands and feet.
I hold the blade now but not to my feet. That would be meaning less now this pain is much too great to be blocked out. The sharp metal presses against my wrist and between caramel skin and icy cold metal a pool of shimmering red appears.
I press the blade harder into me. What else is there to live for? I think as I slide the blade across the opposite wrist letting drops of blood fall on to the white tile floor.
The phone rings, once, twice but I just ignore it. Finally the answering machine picks up.
"I'm out," my voice begins from the machine "but if you have an important reason to get in touch with me please leave a message and I'll get back to you."
I laugh a little because I won't be getting back to anyone now. A puddle of blood covers the floor and my body now. No I won't be getting back to any one.
Beep. " Duke? It's Tristan." What?! My head snaps up and I drop the razor letting it sink into the redness that covers the floor. I stumble into my bedroom already light headed from loss of blood.
"Look I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I'm coming over right now to talk to you. I think you are there but if you're not I can just wait."
I try to walk to the phone but fall to my knees, lunging for it at the same time knocking it off the base. The phone falls next to where I've collapsed. My sight is going dark around the edges as I grab it, gasping in to the receiver "Tristan." My world goes dark before anything else.
A/N: Okay please don't kill me. Rachel: Um I think it's a bit late for that. *Points to mob of angry Duke fans* Flurk! *runs* He's not going to die!
Unmentionable Words Chapter four
How could what happened be a mistake? I've been asking myself that question all day but I still have no answer.
I thought. Oh damn it all I thought that he felt the way I did. I thought that he wanted me. That maybe he loved me. But now I don't know what to think.
The way he held me, the way he kissed me and told me that everything would be fine made me think that he loved me, that he truly cared about me like no other ever has. Even when he ran away I did not think that he regretted his actions. I believed he was afraid of how I'd react. I know that I would have thought that way if I had done what he did.
When I came to school this morning I was happy. I was going to tell Tristan that I was in love with him. I had no doubt that he would feel the same. It was only after he fled the lunchroom that I began to worry. But I refused to believe that he didn't love me so I pushed those thoughts away still hoping, begging, and pleading to whatever gods were listening that he would love me.
My prayers were not answered. He screamed at everyone saying that he had made a mistake, oh Tristan why, why did you do that to me? Time seemed to stop for a minute as I registered your words and once time began its flow again he was gone.
The rest of the day passed without me even noticing it. I don't know what was taught nor do I give a damn, not anymore. Nothing matters to me now. Nothing ever has but that was before I met Tristan. And now that any possibility of him loving me is gone nothing is left. Nothing at all.
I have loved him for so long. Ever since he cheered Yuugi on in my stadium. He was so loyal and he never seemed afraid that Yuugi might lose. I fell in love with that. His sensible air and confidence are what attracted me to him and then I got to know him and I felt like I could let go of my fears and worries with him. I didn't have to pretend to always be self-assured. I felt stable with him like there was finally some kind of balance in my life but now that's all gone.
I get up off of my bed walking to my bathroom to clean the salty tearstains form my face. Lying on the corner of the white porcelain sink is a razor blade. I pick it up not really realizing that I have. I haven't even thought of it since I met him but now memories of holing a blade to my tan skin come back to me. When everything was falling apart for me. When I realized I was gay, when I hit a major problem in the development in DDM. I never cut myself too much only enough to feel the pain, to let it block out everything else. I made sure I cut where no one would see, not that there was anyone who would really care anyway. I used to slit the soles of my feet they were the perfect spot. I would watch my skin slide open and the blood would seep out covering my hands and feet.
I hold the blade now but not to my feet. That would be meaning less now this pain is much too great to be blocked out. The sharp metal presses against my wrist and between caramel skin and icy cold metal a pool of shimmering red appears.
I press the blade harder into me. What else is there to live for? I think as I slide the blade across the opposite wrist letting drops of blood fall on to the white tile floor.
The phone rings, once, twice but I just ignore it. Finally the answering machine picks up.
"I'm out," my voice begins from the machine "but if you have an important reason to get in touch with me please leave a message and I'll get back to you."
I laugh a little because I won't be getting back to anyone now. A puddle of blood covers the floor and my body now. No I won't be getting back to any one.
Beep. " Duke? It's Tristan." What?! My head snaps up and I drop the razor letting it sink into the redness that covers the floor. I stumble into my bedroom already light headed from loss of blood.
"Look I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that I'm coming over right now to talk to you. I think you are there but if you're not I can just wait."
I try to walk to the phone but fall to my knees, lunging for it at the same time knocking it off the base. The phone falls next to where I've collapsed. My sight is going dark around the edges as I grab it, gasping in to the receiver "Tristan." My world goes dark before anything else.
A/N: Okay please don't kill me. Rachel: Um I think it's a bit late for that. *Points to mob of angry Duke fans* Flurk! *runs* He's not going to die!