blazing star.
A Yu Gi Oh fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Coda
I never saw Kenji's corpse.
I never got to hold him as he was dying in my arms. I never got to kiss his forehead one last time as the darkness took his life away. I never got to scream to the skies, to God, that I loved Kenji more than anything else in the world and that I would do anything, give anything, to bring him back.
I got back to Domino, somehow, and the first thing I did was call the police. They stormed Takashi's buildings, his homes. There was nothing, nobody there. And they weren't about to start messing with the yakuza just because some assassin was killed.
No one was arrested. I was told to just go back to running my corporation.
There is no such thing as justice.
Mokuba was ecstatic to see me home again, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him what had happened. A little boy shouldn't have his heart broken like that.
At times, I pray to God that Kenji's still alive, and that he's just hiding in somewhere like Egypt, biding his time so that he could return to Domino and we could be a real couple. And then afterwards, I cry in the restroom, knowing the difference between fantasy and reality.
There are rules of literature, and I believe that they apply in real life. For example, a tragedy is more than just a series of unfortunate events. The protagonist (better known as the "good guy") is supposed to have something called a "tragic flaw", a mark on his character that creates his downfall. Macbeth had a tragic flaw: he was easily influenced, particularly by his wife. Julius Caesar had a tragic flaw: he was far too ambitious. Even Gatsby was far too romantic and stuck in his fantasy world.
Kenji was never a bad person, and I do believe this. But he did have a tragic flaw: he was desperate for love.
And there are a lot of times when I wish he wasn't so desperate to use his heart. At times I wish he had been cold, uncaring. I would die just to keep Kenji on this earth.
This world desperately needs people like Kenji. I define him to this day as a blazing star, a person who knows what he needs, what everyone else needs. A person who knows what is right and wrong, and for at least one day before he dies, he will do what is entirely right. He knew himself, he knew everyone else.
The world possesses human characteristics: it refuses what it needs. That is why Kenji was crushed and scattered. That is why the world was so intent on devouring him and digesting him with stomach acids of hate and greed and violence.
At night, I turn off my computer, put Mokuba to bed, and excuse the service detail, giving them more time to spend with their family. I go to the balcony and look carefully at the black canvas of suns and solar systems that are so far away from us. I see Kenji's face, a face that I only looked on for seven days, at most, and I feel more alive than any drug could give.
If anyone knew what happened in that week, they would tell me that I'm just brooding, getting over death. That in a few years time, I would probably marry a girl like Shizuka (I can't stand her) or Anzu (she's with Yugi Motou), and have a few kids and forget that terrible, murdering man who just so happened to take my heart with him to his shallow grave. I doubt it. I believe in True Love now, and that green light that Gatsby once strived for. I don't care if I can never reach it.
The Laws of Matter state that just as how matter cannot be created from nothing, it cannot be reduced into nothing. I think that is what keeps me from going around the bend. No matter what the world does, no matter who it sends to earth to kill and destroy, it can never truly annihilate my own blazing star.
[end.]
A Yu Gi Oh fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
----------
Coda
I never saw Kenji's corpse.
I never got to hold him as he was dying in my arms. I never got to kiss his forehead one last time as the darkness took his life away. I never got to scream to the skies, to God, that I loved Kenji more than anything else in the world and that I would do anything, give anything, to bring him back.
I got back to Domino, somehow, and the first thing I did was call the police. They stormed Takashi's buildings, his homes. There was nothing, nobody there. And they weren't about to start messing with the yakuza just because some assassin was killed.
No one was arrested. I was told to just go back to running my corporation.
There is no such thing as justice.
Mokuba was ecstatic to see me home again, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him what had happened. A little boy shouldn't have his heart broken like that.
At times, I pray to God that Kenji's still alive, and that he's just hiding in somewhere like Egypt, biding his time so that he could return to Domino and we could be a real couple. And then afterwards, I cry in the restroom, knowing the difference between fantasy and reality.
There are rules of literature, and I believe that they apply in real life. For example, a tragedy is more than just a series of unfortunate events. The protagonist (better known as the "good guy") is supposed to have something called a "tragic flaw", a mark on his character that creates his downfall. Macbeth had a tragic flaw: he was easily influenced, particularly by his wife. Julius Caesar had a tragic flaw: he was far too ambitious. Even Gatsby was far too romantic and stuck in his fantasy world.
Kenji was never a bad person, and I do believe this. But he did have a tragic flaw: he was desperate for love.
And there are a lot of times when I wish he wasn't so desperate to use his heart. At times I wish he had been cold, uncaring. I would die just to keep Kenji on this earth.
This world desperately needs people like Kenji. I define him to this day as a blazing star, a person who knows what he needs, what everyone else needs. A person who knows what is right and wrong, and for at least one day before he dies, he will do what is entirely right. He knew himself, he knew everyone else.
The world possesses human characteristics: it refuses what it needs. That is why Kenji was crushed and scattered. That is why the world was so intent on devouring him and digesting him with stomach acids of hate and greed and violence.
At night, I turn off my computer, put Mokuba to bed, and excuse the service detail, giving them more time to spend with their family. I go to the balcony and look carefully at the black canvas of suns and solar systems that are so far away from us. I see Kenji's face, a face that I only looked on for seven days, at most, and I feel more alive than any drug could give.
If anyone knew what happened in that week, they would tell me that I'm just brooding, getting over death. That in a few years time, I would probably marry a girl like Shizuka (I can't stand her) or Anzu (she's with Yugi Motou), and have a few kids and forget that terrible, murdering man who just so happened to take my heart with him to his shallow grave. I doubt it. I believe in True Love now, and that green light that Gatsby once strived for. I don't care if I can never reach it.
The Laws of Matter state that just as how matter cannot be created from nothing, it cannot be reduced into nothing. I think that is what keeps me from going around the bend. No matter what the world does, no matter who it sends to earth to kill and destroy, it can never truly annihilate my own blazing star.
[end.]