A/N Yeah I haven't seen the latest episode though I have it on tape and I'm not sure I'm willing to see the new episode! I think I'll wait a month and have someone tell me how they 'fix' it then watch last weeks episode! Why is it a couple can only ever have like two episodes of happiness! What they had thanksgiving and the perfect couple! And thanksgiving wasn't perfect! Okay okay real reason for this A/N is that everyone has to excuse me for my spastic updating! I just changed schools and majors and am Buried in work!

"Ryan." Marissa cooed as she climbed on top of his and snuggled herself tightly into his slack arms. She didn't know how to make him feel better about himself. She didn't know how to convince him that he was the man she had always dreamed of having. She figured she could just say that. She figured he would freak and not know how to deal like when she had told him she loved him.

Ryan wanted to put his arms around her. He wanted to squeeze her so tight press all the ugliness out of himself and swallow up some of her brilliant radiance. The glow she owns despite the obstacles that got in her way. He just wasn't sure how to do it. He didn't know how to let go. He had let her down in the worst way he could imagine.

Marissa felt Ryan's arms snake around her, and felt herself lightened at his response. She knew that she could get through to him is he wasn't closing himself off, if he wasn't getting defensive. And she knew he wasn't getting defensive if he was embracing her back. His defenses were directly related to his body language, he stood slumped head down and apart from her when he was defensive or being chastised.

"Ryan, You are all I've ever wanted in a boyfriend. Don't say we are from different world's cuz we're not. And this bruise should only remind you of how good a man you are. If you could get so upset about hitting me on accident then I have no doubt that you would never do it on purpose. Ryan it's not just the action that makes men that hit bad, it's the intent and motivation as well."

Before Ryan could respond his alarm clock went off. Ryan wasn't sure if he was grateful or upset about the interruption. More of Ryan wanted to believe her but part of him was still trying to hold on to the pain. It was habit for him; his pain always made him feel connected to life.

Marissa rolled off Ryan and hit the alarm on the nightstand. She then collapsed on to her back exhausted by the idea of another day. She loved Ryan and he seemed to hate himself over her. Ryan rolled on top of Marissa and gently kissed her forehead, before getting out of bed with tears still in his eyes and heading towards the shower.

Once Marissa heard the shower start she quickly got up and went over to the bag she always kept in Ryan's room. She grabbed her change of cloths and quickly dressed. The last thing she needed to have happen today was getting caught in her PJ's by Kirsten or Seth or Sandy. The shower was still running when she decided to show Ryan exactly how much her bruise didn't effect her.

She walked into the bathroom unnoticed by Ryan. She quickly stripped down the cloths she had just put on and opened the shower door.

Ryan jumped at the sudden intrusion. Ryan instinctively covered himself before he noticed whom it was that was actually climbing in to the shower with him. "Marissa?" Ryan questioned as he straightened back out, no longer shy about being naked.

"Ryan?" Marissa mocked playfully copying Ryan's tone. She quickly pushed Ryan slightly so she could get under the stream as well. Ryan wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing. She was gorgeous, and far sexier then he had ever imagined her to be. He was doing his best to stay under control he was doing his best not to ravish her.

"I needed a shower, I was all sweaty! Why are you staring at me like that?" Marissa asked knowing full well exactly why he was staring at her but wanting to be coy.

"Sorry" Ryan muttered and looked down. He was ranking the bloodiest moments from Van Dame movies in his head trying his hardest to control himself. He slid past Marissa toward the door and felt her skin so close. He brushed his arm against her thigh as he left and visually paused trying not to respond to her body.

Marissa used this hesitation in his retreat to start to get her point across. "Ryan." She called sweetly looking back over her shoulder at him adoringly. And that sweet look that adoring face made her overwhelmingly sexy.

Ryan looked at her and felt himself slipping further and further away from reality into a world free of teenage pregnancy, intimacy issues and second thoughts that would infest the real world where he actually was. In reality he had to use common sense he couldn't just reach out for Marissa here, he had to think about his past, her past and how this would add to the burdens she already had.

Ryan began to look up and tried not to notice the smooth skin on her calve that curved into her knee pit and up into the small expanse that was her thigh. He noticed she had faint tan lines making him think she was perhaps a bit more modest then some of her clothing hinted at. He tried so hard to ignore her graceful back and delicate shoulders and came to rest on her face. Framed by mused wet hair and painted with a mischievously innocent smile that begged him to kiss her silly.

Once Ryan's eyes came up to meet Marissa's she continued. "Would you?" She said turning slightly holding out a puffy sponge that Kirsten had put in the shower after they had picked up the necessities he needed, Ryan had never known what to do with. Ryan took it and held it starring at it dumbly.

"Ryan?" Marissa said holding out the soap for him as well. Getting it he took the soap and poured a little on the puff and started to rub it lightly on her back. He started in the middle tentative about his movements tentative about his intentions. He was trying to just do as she asked, do as she needed him to do but his own wants were starting to invade his mind.

Marissa brushed her hair from her back and over her shoulder giving him more area to wash and smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks. You always manage to help me do things I can't quite handle alone."

Ryan understood now what this impromptu shower was about. Marissa was hoping that if she combined the trust it showed in him by putting herself out there naked, and the intimacy of asking him to wash her that perhaps the last clinging thoughts of self-hatred would slip away.

He had to admit it was getting increasingly difficult, almost impossible to hold on to his last fleeting miseries but Ryan was often more stubborn then was necessary. He slid up closer to Marissa closing in on her. He gently reached his left arm around her and leaned in to kiss her exposed neck.

Marissa tensed up when Ryan began kissing her neck. He felt good, but she knew he would feel good. The shock was exactly how good he felt when combined with the excitement of the missing cloths and the added sensation of the water washing over her body, hot and relaxing contrasting against his stimulating mouth.

Ryan drank up the water from her shoulder before finally getting his point across. His mouth came up to her ear, his breath setting her nerves on fire, His hand came to rest on the offending mark as he whispered, "Thanks. But I'm not as willing to ask for help."

Ryan got out of the shower then. The sponge seemed so loud to Marissa when it hit the shower floor, so loud she felt her own tears rise up in her eyes. How was she going to get through to him.

Marissa continued to shower, washing her hair. She had given thought to picking back up the puff and finishing washing her body but she couldn't do it. She couldn't seem to deal with being left alone in the shower.

Ryan had left the bathroom to get dressed. When he was fully clothed he noticed the shower was still running and went back into the bathroom. He couldn't see very well through the frosted glass of the shower and the steam that had now filled the room. He sat down on the toilet with a towel in his hands waiting for her to finish and appear.

He wanted her to realize that he wasn't judging her for asking for help, he was thankful she asked for help. He was more thankful then anything that she had asked him for help and he was able to do help. But she had been raise in an environment that yes was not perfect but that asking for help was reasonable. If she had asked for help she would not of been hit, or laughed at.

So asking her for help about hitting her seemed laughable.