Chapter Four!!

Hello! For once I will get right to the story! I don't own any Artemis Fowl characters!

Wait! Just one thing! (Whole world groans)

littlemissdemosthenes: I fixed the word real, but she has to tell her friends, it is in the plot! Raptor K - No, she is not dying!! It just means she doesn't know if she'll live to be a normal age, or thousands of years, or somewhere in between. Don't worry, I don't kill my characters!

Ookay, now on to the story! (Whole world says, "YAAY!") (well, no, but an authoress can dream, can't she?)

I sit in class, as jittery as a jumping bean again, as I expect I will be for the rest of my short (or long) life. And in addition to that, I can barely hear because of my message from Ops today. Honestly, 'message' doesn't seem to do it justice. Singing telegram, more like. A loud one.

"'Morning, Foaly," I had said into my handheld on my way to the hotshots, which I despise, and have to take each day. Technically, I didn't have to, since I could take a shuttle, but that would mean waking up an extra hour early to make it to school on time. So, I'd rather put my life in danger, of course. I really should be on "Who Wants To Be The Stupidest Elf Ever." It isn't a show yet, but it will be one day, if there are more people just like me.

"Tell me when to go," I had said once inside the titanium egg, half asleep.

"Not for another ten minutes," I heard, and started to doze off, figuring that would be the end of that.

"Gingerrrrr!" said Foaly, sounding exactly like the time I had stolen his tinfoil hat. "Whaaaat?" I said irritably, for I didn't like to be woken up. I really shouldn't stay up all night watching "Fairy Idol," but I just can't help it. Just as I can't stop eating these Pocket Packs. Yum!

"FOR WHAT REASON UNDER THIS EARTH DID YOU TELL THE MUD PEOPLE ABOUT OUR WORLD? YOU PUT US ALL IN DANGER, THIS COULD BE THE END OF OUR CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! YOU HAVE NO REGARD--" bellowed Foaly, sounding strangely like Root. I later realized that it was. Lucky me. At times like these, I would have killed for sonic filter sponges.

"They were getting suspicious, okay?" I interrupted, which was not an easy task. "They're my best friends," I said, and add on my classic puppy dog eyes as an extra touch.

"Aw, how sentimental," said Foaly. "BUT I DON"T CARE!" finished Root, and went on until I felt like my eardrums would split.

"Listen, it's not like they'll alert the media, right?" I rationalized, and thankfully, time was up and I hopped onto the magma flares which felt like they wanted to crush me into miniature pieces. But, believe me, it was better than listening to Root any day.

Suddenly, I hear my teacher talking to Artemis, which brings me out of my flashback to this morning right away. "Mister, uh--" she says, and continues after looking into the record book. "Mister, um, Artemis – wait, isn't that a girl's name?" Artemis shakes his head, obviously steaming. I laugh hard into my shirt sleeve. "Whatever. Anyway, you can not bring a bodyguard into this classroom!" finishes Ms. Egan, then frowns. "Or, uh, whatever that cube thing is, for that matter."

"But — " protests Artemis.

"But — " says Butler.

"But — " comes a voice from the cube-shaped object, and my whole class jumps.

"No buts!" says my teacher, after she has finished shaking, and Butler reluctantly carries the cube, and himself, out of the school. The whole class lets out a very relieved sigh at that. Damien collapses from having held his breath for so long and has to be dragged all the way to the nurse's office.

"Right then. Now, turn to page — " begins Ms. Egan, but stops, again, having just noticed something. "Ginger and uh — ," she looks in the record book again, "Artemis. WHY are you wearing sunglasses? Take them off!"

"But — " protests Artemis, along with me, but my teacher repeats, "Off!" after making sure no shapes were going to magically talk again. We both reluctantly deposit our eye wear into our backpacks (mine made of glittering denim, and his an extremely dull black messenger bag.)

Our teacher smiles, hoping to finally be able to start teaching us some history. However, Artemis raises his hand, after pulling out a crumpled piece of looseleaf from his pocket.

I fall out of my chair. Again, for the umpteenth time in as many days. "What is it with these chairs," wonders Nicole, and helps me up.

"I found this on the floor yesterday," he says, and the teacher sighs after taking a look. "It's the class's secret code, of course," she says, as if it was a matter of fact.

"Yeah, it's Ginger's lingo," informs Dana.

I pull my arm across my neck again and again, the universal sign for: Shut up! But, no one takes any notice.

"She taught all of us," continues Michael.

"Except me!" adds Ms. Egan.

"So all of us," says Alvin. "Except me!" adds Ms. Egan, again. "Could write in secret, and no one else would know what it was," he finishes.

"Where'd you get it?" Artemis looks pointedly at me, but my class answers for me. "Internet!" they say, the same answer I told each of them.

Artemis looks at the paper in his hand, then at my ears and height, then back at the paper, then at me again. "Aha," he says triumphantly.

I run to the back of the room, grab my bag, climb up on the counter top (not caring one bit that I'm in a skirt), and prepare to shield.

A/N Well, what do ya think? Be honest, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! If you have read this far, just write 'I read it' and submit! Just so I know I'm not getting carpal tunnel syndrome in vain!

:)

COOLCUBE, who is STILL, of course, sitting and waiting for reviews!!!