Chapter Five
Before we all begin, I, of course, just HAVE to annoy you all with a lengthy disclaimer!! Mwahwhahahahaha!! I'm so evil!! Mwahahaha....... uh, yeah. If you don't want to read, just skip below my incredibly straight QuickEdit line.

Disclaimer: OKAY! I am FINALLY going to own Artemis Fowl!! Once and for all! I have assembled a highly specialized team of other power-hungry authors! Hi everyone!

Authors: Uh, hi! Where are we?

Never you mind! Just, (charge music) CHARGE!! Yess! Go! You can do it! sips lemonade Oh, oh, OUCH! We seriously need karate lessons! The characters and lawyers sure don't..... creepy! Ouch!! Ohh, scratch that. I mean FIRE!! Yess! Yes! Perfect! Ohh, no! Not the Neutrinos!! Nooooooo! Ouch!! Keep going!! Ouch!! Ow, okay, so we don't own Artemis Fowl yet, but we will.......... soon!!

Cast, lawyers: Suuuuuuuuure. Just keep telling yourself that.

Okay, I will! And I will get right to the story right after thanking all my reviewers very much.
I start to shield, and I almost succeed. Then I feel my magic (what little was left of it, anyway) give out, and I become, for the first time in my life, a completely normal thirteen-year-old. Albeit one who is standing on top of the counter. In a skirt. Which makes me not quite so normal.

"I see London, I see France — " begins Larry, who is vying for the spot of most immature in our class. He looks pretty close to winning. Ms. Egan glares at him, daring him to finish that statement, then looks pointedly at me, obviously exasperated. "Ginger, why are you standing on the counter?"

"Umm, I was, uh, opening the windows," I say hopefully, and climb down, being very careful, and wondering what on earth I was going to do.

It really should be one of Murphy's laws that your shield always gives out when you need it most. For example, in a packed restaurant with a troll on the loose. Or in your classroom, when Artemis Fowl just found out that you're not the typical teenager.

I really am the most irresponsible person in the universe. My room down in Haven looks like a bio-bomb just went through it. And that's just putting it lightly. I finished last night's science project at 8:19 in the morning. While riding the hotshots up to the surface. Which is, to say the least, not a very easy task. And the last time I completed the Ritual, I believe I was learning my multiplication facts.

I suddenly get one of my rare bright ideas, and dash out the door after announcing I have to go to the bathroom. "Um, me too," says Artemis, and runs out of the room, my teacher looking very happy that she can finally teach us about the Civil War.

"Now, in the South at that time — " she begins, and at that exact moment Judy, Natalie, and Christina announce that they have to go to the bathroom too. Ms. Egan bangs her head on her desk and tells the remaining portion of the class to just have free time.

I rush outside onto our bleak playground, to our old, and only, oak tree, me hoping it fits within the parameters of 'ancient.' There is, thankfully, a pale, but full, moon forming in the sky overhead. And the school's garden hose, twisted in many contorted shapes, runs near the tree. Ancient oak, full moon, and twisted water. At a stretch. A pretty big one.

I am just about to plant the acorn I picked, wishing I won't get into trouble for defacing school property.

I bend down to place it into the earth, when, (which should also be one of Murphy's laws), I hear a strange, yet oddly familiar voice. Standing right beside me.

A/N He, he. Evil cliffie! I am sooo evil! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha — uh, yeah. Please, please review!! Just write 'I read it' and submit!! (No, not literally, Wolfrat!)