Chapter Seven
No, she wasn't having a daydream. Yes, Holly will be in this chapter! (Well, a bit, anyway!) There are AF books in Haven! (Well, at least in my story!)
Disclaimer: (sigh) We have given up. Officially. (Reads peace treaty)

We do not own Artemis Fowl, nor will we ever do, unless — doughnuts rain from the sky??? (all look at writer of treaty) Uhh, yeah. So we don't own AF. (Doughnuts start falling)

Wait a minute!! We do own Artemis Fowl!!

Cast: Now wait a minute...............

Mwahahaha! We DO own Artemis Fowl!

Cast: Hmmmm, no! You didn't sign yet!

(Authors groan) Will it work if we sign now?

(Doughnuts stop falling)

(All sign sadly and leave, mad at coolcube for promising AF domination)

So we don't own AF yet!! But we will......... in the next fic! Mwhahahahahaha! Sorry, lawyers, I'm out of donuts, but you can go pick some up if you like! Okay, now – finally - on to the story!!
I stare in amazement, realizing that it would be highly impossible for just a bunch of junior high kids to hold back a professional bodyguard. Honestly, the laws of physics are dead against that. Then, I spot a slight shimmer in the air next to Natalie. Holly! Well, either her, or dramatic evaporation.

Artemis and Butler break free, finally, and I try to run away, but I still, of course, cannot. Then, I realize why. I'm stuck in a patch of quicksand (a safety violation, no doubt.) And here I was, thinking it was only my nerves.

I groan and think I should just give up, considering my Neutrino is useless, my feet are stuck, and my friends look too exhausted to even talk in complete sentences. However, they get up and try once more, and Artemis finds himself, once again, against the stone blocks of Treaty Junior High.

"Now, wait just a minute," he gasps. "I believe there's been a slight misunderstanding!"

We all turn and say, "Huh?" in unison. So do the hopscotchers, who stopped to listen in, figuring this was more interesting than jumping on chalk squares. But, Butler tells them to move it along, there was nothing to see here. They immediately skedaddle after taking one look after the giant.

"I – am– not trying to kidnap you or anything, if that's what you think," says Artemis, looking a bit confused.

"Well, Artemis, you could have been a bit less –– how, should I put this, menacing. You scare off everyone in sight!" says Butler reproachfully.

"Me? 'Nice pea-shooter!' Oh, that is impeccably comforting! Not to mention cliched!" retorts Artemis.

"I thought it was funny, okay?" Butler explains, and hands me my gun back, thankfully, in one piece.

Back and forth they go, sounding, to me, just like two 2- year olds debating over a toy. Except, of course, with bigger words.

"Ahem!" I clap my hands for silence, and they both stop mid-sentence and stare at me. "It's okay. Really."

Meanwhile, my friends insist that he should give me something for giving me such a shock. "Ask for a diamond necklace!" says Judy. "Or a pet Chihuahua!" suggests Natalie."Or a vacation to Liechtenstein!" adds Christina, even though she has no idea where that is.

I raise my eyebrows, again. "Um, guys, he didn't kill me. Just incredibly scared me."

Artemis seems to be thinking the same thing. He shifts uncomfortably, just like someone who was pushed onto Nitro by a group of friends against his will. "I truly should compensate for your fright." (Which, translated to English, meant ' I should make it up to you.') "So — um, you would to like caviar some get? ... Wait, that doesn't sound right. Get would caviar some you like to? – well, you know what I mean."

I pause to let that sink in, and immediately scream. "WHAT? You – scare me to death, and you – want to go out on a date?" Everyone on the playground (or rather, a large patch of concrete,) covers their ears. So do the fifth graders four floors up. So does Holly, once again on the top of the building, since she saw there was no danger.

Artemis scratches his head, probably translating English to his language. "Well, basically." I look skeptically to my friends. Natalie and Christina are giving me a huge thumbs-up and giving each other so many nudges they were bound to tip over at any minute. Judy just stares dejectedly into space until Christina tells her to snap out of it.

I really don't know what to say. "Sure, she'd love to!" answers Natalie for me. I give her my classic death stare, but stop in the middle and break into a genuine smile. As genuine as it gets, when you have nearly suffered a heart attack. "You know, there's a really great candy store down the street......."

Artemis chuckles, most likely, for the first time in his life. Meanwhile, fifty feet up, Holly laughs so hard she falls onto the kitchen window.

the end

A/N Aaaargh! Don't yell at me! Maybe it wasn't what you were expecting, right? See, I can do twists! But if you really didn't like this, don't scream, I will have the ALTERNATE ENDING up soon!

Please review! And put your flames nicely! (shivers )