What Was it Like? ©2004 Star24
Disclaimer: Don't own them and certainly don't make a profit of any kind from this.
Spoilers: From Dead Man Talking through the Season Finale. Not sure where exactly this is going but I can't believe Kate could really be as cruel as she's come across since DMT
Chapter Three: Mending Fences
After his comment to her about clearing things up with Tony, Gib.bs let the matter drop. Tony made it easier by resuming his outwardly teasing air with her, and Kate guessed that had lulled Gibbs into the assumption that whatever had been festering between the two of them was gone. But she knew differently. Tony still managed to get in some barbs disguised as teasing, as when he laughed at her for not knowing much about dating. That one had hurt, not least because Kate knew that he knew about her last two abortive boyfriends, the doctor who had never seemed to get out of surgery, and the attorney who worked 80 hour weeks and who always had some kind of last minute something or other come up when they were supposed to be going out.
Later that day he had idly zeroed in on the Seal's widow's comment about Kate never being married. Despite his grin and light tone she'd gotten the message. Tony was still pissed at her and until she did something to straighten things out it was war. Undercover and barely spoken, but war nonetheless.
On top of that Kate had somehow found herself flirting with of all people, a priest. The fact that he was hot didn't excuse it in her mind. Somehow she should have known who he was. As a good Catholic girl she was supposed to have built in radar for that kind of thing. Wasn't she?
When she went home that night, she fixed herself a big bowl of ice cream and curled up on her oversize sofa as she pondered what had gone wrong with her life. She began by mentally ranting over one Agent Anthony Dinozzo. He was the cause of everything that was wrong with her life. If he hadn't had her so rattled she never would have come on to the priest that day. It had to be his fault. From there she went to the next logical step, Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. If it hadn't been for him, she'd still be in the Secret Service, wearing her neat navy blue suits, riding Air Force One, and guarding the President. It was Gibbs' fault. He was the one who maneuvered her into quitting the Secret Service and joining up with his team of cowboys at NCIS.
That line of thought lasted all of five minutes as Kate's inherent sense of fairness asserted itself. She hadn't even known Gibbs when she had made the mistake of hooking up with a colleague, and that was what had resulted in her resigning from the Secret Service. Gibbs had taken advantage of her situation, but when it came down to it, Kate had decided long ago that she liked being one of the cowboys. For a girl who had grown up being rigidly careful to always color inside the lines, stepping out of the box and not getting chastised for it had turned out to be a heady and addictive experience. No, she couldn't blame Gibbs for her problems.
That left Tony. But now that she had absolved Gibbs, in all fairness she probably ought to re-evaluate his right hand man. Gibbs wasn't one to tolerate incompetence and Tony had lasted two years with him. Not only lasted but, according to both Stan Burleigh, Gibbs' former SIC, and Abby, Gibbs both liked and depended on Tony.
Two bowls of ice cream later, Kate finally admitted that maybe the problem wasn't Tony. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was…jealous of Tony? Tony, who was confident enough in Gibbs' dependence on him that he was willing to put himself on the line and confront him when he was being unreasonable. Tony, for whom Gibbs had moved faster than she had ever seen him do before (and that was saying a lot) when he had been in trouble. Tony, for whom Abby had practically been in tears when he went missing.
Maybe if she was honest with herself, she could admit that she wanted some of that devotion and caring aimed at her. She'd always been the good girl, the teacher's pet. She'd bet Tony had been one of the cool kids. The guy who all the other guys wanted to be, and all the girls wanted to date. While she'd been getting her straight A's and scholarships, he'd been dating the prom queen and lettering in basketball. He'd been the guy she had worshipped from afar for all of her high school and college years, even while she settled for dating the president of the chess club.
At that last thought Kate stopped. Abby's question to her about her real motives for being so down on Tony came back to kick her in the butt. No, she thought to herself. No way. You are not even coming close to going there. This is 2004, not high school or even college. You got over that kind of thinking years ago, Kate Todd. Its stress and need of a vacation talking. A yawn caught her and she decided that she needed sleep. She'd figure things out tomorrow and maybe she'd get a chance to mend her fences with Tony. No matter the reason, Gibbs was right. They were a team and undercurrents between them could ultimately result in one of them getting injured or even killed.
The next day Kate made a conscious effort to grab a moment alone with Tony. She saw her chance when she saw him heading for the coffee room. Not even bothering to save the email she had just spent fifteen minutes typing, she jumped up and arrived in the small break room just as he finished pouring himself a cup of coffee. No one else was around, the office was empty that afternoon, and they had the room to themselves. Tony gave her an automatic grin but Kate didn't miss the touch of wariness in his eyes.
She poured herself some coffee and walked over to sit at one of the small tables in the room, saying to Tony as she did, "Gibbs is closeted with Morrow, we've got at least ten minutes before he comes back."
She didn't miss the startled look in his eyes as he shrugged and sat down across from her. He sipped his coffee, being uncharacteristically quiet, and waited her out.
"So I guess you heard about my faux pas yesterday?" Kate said quietly.
Tony raised his eyebrows, "Kate Todd made a faux pas? Do tell."
"Just managed to hit on a priest is all. I felt pretty stupid when he introduced himself to me." Kate's eyes met Tony's and she hoped he was getting the message she was trying to send him. She didn't think she could manage to grovel, so she hoped he was.
"I guess we all manage to do some stupid things when it comes to the opposite sex." Tony agreed cautiously, looking like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Yeah, well, that's pretty much the story of my life. And I guess sometimes, I kind of take it out on people who I think have it more together than I do." She paused and then took a breath before continuing on, "You only happen to be looking at the queen of high school dorks. Funny how you think you've gotten past all that, and then somehow, you find yourself acting like you're right back in high school. I still remember the time the captain of the baseball team asked me if I'd tutor him in English and I pretty much demolished the guy. Made him sorry he even asked." Kate mused. "I was a real bitch to him."
Tony gave her a long look. "Had a crush on him, huh?"
Kate felt herself flushing and reminded herself that Anthony Dinozzo might play dumb, but he was anything but. She steeled herself to go on, "The biggest. But of course his girlfriend was a drop dead gorgeous blonde. I heard she went into modeling after high school. Was doing pretty well at it, last I knew."
"By now she's washed up. Probably sitting at home in Podunk, fat as a house, with two whiny kids and an obnoxious dog." Tony quipped.
"You think?"
"Kate, these things I know." Tony smiled at her and she smiled back, the first genuine smiles they had exchanged in weeks. Before either of them could say anymore, the door to the break room slammed open and Gibbs stood in the doorway.
"Um yeah, boss. The box of evidence from the crime scene. It's waiting downstairs for us." Tony jumped up hastily, followed by Kate.
"I'm not even going to ask why your butts are up here, rather than down there sorting through it." With that Gibbs was gone, leaving his two agents to grab their coffee and follow after.
Kate trailed behind Tony feeling better than she had in weeks. She wasn't positive, but she thought she had been forgiven.
It was much later before she knew she had been. When she exclaimed in frustration that she wished she knew more about rappelling, she didn't miss the instant glance that Tony and Gibbs exchanged. Standing on the top of the lift with only Tony and a thin rope separating her from a date with the hard concrete floor below, she was suddenly afraid that she had misread Tony earlier. He was still pissed at her. And so was Gibbs. Thoughts of broken limbs and full body casts flashed through her mind.
But then Tony called up to her "I've got your back." And with a shove from Gibbs, she was swinging in space, totally dependent on her gear and on Tony. Amazingly enough she made it down in one piece.
And when Tony said to her "Now you know what it feels like," she knew he wasn't just talking about rappelling. He was letting her know that she was forgiven and he really did have her back. Just like he had Gibbs' back. A rush of warmth passed over Kate at his words, but then they were back to the case with no more time for talking. It didn't matter. When she went home that night she knew that things had changed. For the first time she felt part of the team. Maybe not quite as much a part as Tony and Gibbs and Abby and Ducky. But she thought she might get there someday. And on that note she fell asleep, resting peacefully for the first time in days.