In Every Darkness
Chapter Twenty One: A Not So Happy Birthday
31.7.1996
"Who?" Harry asked again.
Dumbledore sighed heavily. Would Harry break under the strain of another death? "It was Remus, Harry," he said, sounding very world weary.
"NO!" Harry's cry with filled with anguish. "No … It can't have been! It was someone else! It had to have been someone else!" as he finished, tears were coursing down his cheeks.
The Order of the Phoenix stood around him, heads bowed in sorrow. 'It's not a joke,' was the only thought that went through Harry's head. 'Remus is dead … dead because of me.'
Tatsu rested a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry, seek the centre. You are unstable, you need time to adjust to this."
"I don't want to numb the pain!" Harry snarled at his tutor. "My aunt, uncle and cousin were just killed! Now I find out that Remus is too? Leave me alone!" angrily, Harry shook Tatsu's hand from his shoulder and fled from the room, still crying.
Tatsu stood still as his young student fled the room. Ron and Hermione stood to go after him. "No. He wants to be alone – leave him be," Tatsu ordered them.
"How would you know?" Ron demanded, his eyes flashing.
Tatsu turned to face the boy, his weird, golden eyes flashed. "I know my student, Mr. Weasley. I know that he will want to be alone. He needs time to adjust to his grief, and you will not help him at this time. You will stay here!"
Ron was silenced, staring into Tatsu's golden eyes for a moment before nodding, though obviously still angry that anyone thought they knew more about Harry than Ron did himself.
"I presume, Albus, that you would like to know what's happened?" Tatsu turned to the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
"You presume correctly, my old friend. It was always like you to be able to put aside grief to give a report," Dumbledore said, but there was no amusement in his eyes.
Tatsu looked at the Headmaster of Hogwarts with calm eyes. "I do what I must to survive in these times," he said evenly, and sat down to tell the Order of the Phoenix what had happened over the morning.
Harry let his feet take them where they would, and eventually crashed through a doorway into one of the bedrooms.
No one was there – good. He wanted to be left alone …
He lay facedown on the bed and cried into the pillow. His grief for Sirius, Remus and the Dursley's was great. They, and Cedric, had died because of Harry. It was all his fault. If he was dead, none of this would have happened!
When at last he could cry no more, Harry rolled over onto his back and stared into space, feeling self-loathing rising in his heart.
It was only now that he inspected his surroundings. Immediately Harry knew where he was, though he'd spent little time here – Sirius's bedroom. He looked around. There were no traces of anyone else staying here, or even entering.
Perhaps they'd stayed away out of respect for the dead, Harry thought absently as he looked around. He was weary from grief. Maybe, if he slept, he would meet up with Sirius … But surely Sirius would hate him for what happened?
For a moment, Harry was torn by indecision, then he decided that even if Sirius hated him, he needed to speak with his godfather about what had been happening.
He lay back down on the bed, allowing his mind to drift, slowly emptying it of thought, until at last he fell into a deep sleep.
"Harry! Are you alright?" Before Harry knew what was happening, Sirius was beside him, hugging him tightly.
Harry squirmed free of his godfather's hold. "What do you mean?" he asked, confused.
"I met up with Remus in the Realms of the Dead – he said the Death Eaters had been at Privet Drive," Sirius explained.
"Oh. I'm alright Sirius, they didn't come for me. They came for the Dursley's," Harry told him, resting a hand on his godfather's arm to calm the man down.
"Ah, that's alright then. So they're dead?" Sirius looked at his godson. How many deaths was the poor boy going to have to deal with this year?
"Yes, they are. But didn't you know that already?" Harry asked, sounding confused.
"No, the Muggle dead go to a different place than the Magical," Sirius responded.
"Oh. Do people know that?" Harry asked – he'd never heard Hermione say anything to that effect, and she probably would have told Ron and Harry if she'd discovered it.
"No. There isn't much known about the Realms of the Dead," Sirius responded, shrugging his shoulders absently, not seeming to really care.
"Did Remus blame me for his death?" Harry asked curiously.
"No! Of course not! He told me to tell you that he doesn't blame you at all, and that even if you feel that it's your fault, it's not. It's Voldemort's again!" Sirius told Harry sternly.
Harry nodded his head – his godfather's words made sense, and he wanted to believe that was the truth.
Suddenly Harry felt himself being forcibly wakened.
"You'll probably not see me for a little while, me and Tatsu have some catching up to do!" Sirius called to him, just before Harry awoke.
When Harry opened his eyes, Tatsu was standing over him. "Hey kid. I know you were talking with Sirius, but your friends are worried," Tatsu told him.
Harry nodded. He'd told Tatsu about his dreams of Sirius some time ago now, and Tatsu and Sirius had met up a few times since.
"It's ok," Harry replied, swinging himself up from the bed. "I should probably go down and talk to them."
Tatsu and he fell in step as they walked out of the room. "I told them what happened, don't worry," Tatsu told Harry softly as they approached the door to the living room, where Harry presumed everyone was waiting.
Harry pushed the door open, his steps not faltering, though he in some ways wished they would.
The living room had been cleared of everyone but those people Harry knew fairly well. Alastor, Tonks, the Weasley's, Dumbledore, Dedilus Diggle and a few others.
"It seems a little weird to be wishing you a happy birthday, but I will anyway," Hermione told him, hugging him tightly.
"Could we put of celebrations until tomorrow?" Harry asked wearily. He couldn't think about celebrating his birthday after what had happened this morning.
"Of course Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said firmly. "It's a very good idea, and besides, it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want."
Harry smiled at her in thanks. "I'd like to just be alone for a little while, if that's alright with everyone," he said.
"Of course Harry!" the little gathering responded, smiling back at him.
Harry left the room again. At least they wouldn't worry that he'd try and kill himself or anything now.
Harry wondered where he would go, and eventually decided to go back to his godfather's bedroom, he felt more peaceful there.
When he entered the room, he noticed something that he hadn't seen before. There was an envelope on the bedside. He approached warily. Was this something that Sirius had left unopened.
When he looked at it, however, he saw that it was addressed to him. Curious now, Harry opened the envelope. There were to sheets of parchment there.
He pulled them both out. One looked very formal, the other less so. In the end he decided to open the less formal looking one first.
Dear Harry,
This is supposed to be a sort of birthday present. I know that it is likely I will die at some point during the new war against Voldemort. I have decided to write a will – it's February as I write this, by the way.
You can read it for yourself, but basically I leave the house and most of my things to you, there are some things that Remus will ask you for, but he knows what I want to give him, and what needs to be given to others – just ask him about it!
If you are reading this, I am dead. I told Remus where this was, and told him to give it to you on the first celebration that took place after I died (he had two choices – birthday or Christmas).
Hopefully you'll not get this for a long, long time yet, but you can't be too careful!
The rest of the short letter was in different hand writing.
As Sirius asked, I've left this for you to find – this room is yours, as the owner of the house. None may enter it without permission, I was allowed in because Sirius told it I could come in once after he died, no matter when that happened.
I know that Sirius never thought that I would have to give you this so soon … Well, I'll be seeing you soon anyway, I asked Dumbledore if I could be the one to come and get you, so I'm probably standing over your shoulder as you read this!
Remus and Sirius
Harry was nearly crying again as he finished the letter. Remus was not standing over Harry's shoulder, and he never would be either.
Harry looked at the official document – it was, as the letter had said, Sirius's will. It seemed to mainly say that everything went to Harry, but for several items which were carefully listed and which Harry had no idea what they were.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Harry, it's Albus," Dumbledore's voice murmured through the door. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, of course Headmaster!" Harry called back, and a moment later the door opened and Albus Dumbledore walked into the room.
"Please, we aren't in school, so call me Albus," Dumbledore smiled down on his student.
"Right, Albus," Harry said, nodding his head.
"What's that you've got there?" Dumbledore asked curiously, nodding the papers in Harry's lap.
"Sirius wrote a will," Harry explained. "He basically leaves everything to me."
"Show me," Dumbledore commanded.
Harry relinquished the documents to his teacher, waiting patiently while Dumbledore read through everything.
"Well, this is why the house isn't letting anyone into this room – we were wondering. It seems that Sirius asked Remus not to tell anyone about the will," Dumbledore remarked.
"What do we do about this?" Harry asked curiously.
"There isn't much we can do legally," Dumbledore replied, sighing heavily. "Since Sirius remains a convicted murderer. I have the power to validate such things, and so, in my mind, I know that this all belongs to you. It cannot be made public until people are better disposed towards Sirius, however."
Dumbledore tipped the envelope up on Harry's lap, and a golden key. The key to Sirius's Gringotts account. Harry lifted it carefully, staring at it.
"You now have a lot of money. All of the Black family funds went to Sirius, as he is the only one that is still actually part of the family – hasn't married out of it. They didn't want that to happen, but Mrs. Black didn't realise that she hadn't stated where the money would go when she died … It was a little sudden."
Harry gaped. He had a enough money already, and now he apparently had a lot more. Why did he get so much money, when people like the Weasley's had so little? It didn't seem fair to Harry.
He shook his head, clearing it of the thoughts he didn't want at the moment. "I'm sorry, Albus, what was that you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked, remembering that Dumbledore had come here for a reason.
"Ah, yes. I'd almost forgotten about that, thank you for reminding me. I have a proposition for you."
***
*grins* well, there's a good place to leave a chapter!!
To all of those who are angry about me killing Remus – THERE IS A REASON!!! But you won't find out what it is until later J
~WolfMoon~