Disclaimer: I own nothing but Lori. The title of the chapter "This Time Imperfect" comes from A.F.I.'s album Sing the Sorrow. It's the hidden track. I suggest listening to the song; it parallels the fic and well, it's just a great song.
A/N: *Breathes deeply, because this will be a long A/N* You all must be thinking that Draco was really, really OOC, but this is my reasoning for making him act the way he did: I see Draco (in the books) as extremely apathetic. Meaning, he doesn't feel any emotion. In the end of Chapter 7, Draco was overtaken by a sudden feeling of emotion towards Ginny (it doesn't have to be love; no, it could have been compassion) but the feeling was so overwhelming that it was psychologically changing Draco and making him act a way he never had. No, he's not going to stay in that mindset, but remember – emotions felt even only once never leave you. On a less serious note, I've been to a British-American dictionary to delve deeper into the abyss known as British slang and let me tell you, I had a hard time getting back out. I'm quite confused at the moment (after reading that Cockney people call Americans "septic," I stopped reading. What is it with those Cockney-rhyming-slang words, anyway?) so I'm trying to regain my composure and bury myself back into my American-type language. Never try to understand the British if you're American, I'm warning you.
Anyway, enough of that. I'm so, so happy with the reviews. Getting reviews honestly motivates me to write better and longer chapters more quickly. I'm not trying to get people to review, but seriously – I love reviews, even constructive criticism. Thank you so much to: Shauna, GordoLuvr4Life8988, slytherineyz11, Katzi (no problem about the email; I'd never disregard you. I'm just ecstatic you like the fic…you are one of my favorite reviewers! Thanks for the cheerleaders :) ), and Mary (and the friends, hehe). And again, I want to thank my best friend Ashley for being the best beta reader ever! Read on, if you haven't fallen asleep reading my terribly long Author's Note. You know you love me. ;)
Chapter Eight: This Time Imperfect
The kiss continued, until reality kicked in and pushed them away. Draco detached himself from Ginny, eyes wide and lips warm. Color drained from his already-pallid face and a jolt of astonishment crossed his features. Ginny's eyes snapped open and stared blankly at Draco, her mouth still parted. They stayed that way for a few seconds, panting heavily, breath lost from both shock and loss of air from kissing.
Finally, Ginny mustered up the courage to speak. "I…" was all she managed to say, before Draco stood abruptly.
Draco looked down at her, still astounded. He could not think of anything to say. Every thought that ran through his mind was either cruel or incredibly unlike him. The ideas vanished as soon as they appeared in his mind, leaving in place a void of silence. He backed away from Ginny, who still sat uncomfortably positioned on the bench. Her figure disappeared from sight as he rounded a corner. Draco, once out of her sight, spun around and sprinted up to the castle, whizzing past Pansy and every other person who turned to watch him run to his common room.
Draco slammed his dormitory door shut behind him and collapsed onto his bed. He regained his normal breathing pattern and attempted to organize his thoughts. He kissed Ginny. He kissed Ginny Weasley. What on earth was he thinking? Draco turned over onto his stomach and buried his face in his hands, moaning. The palms of his hands grazed over his lips, lips that a few minutes ago, were joined with Ginny's.
Ginny still sat alone on the bench. Her fingers traced the outline of her own lips, still warm and from the feeling of touching Draco's. She sat in silence for a long time, rustling sounds emanating from other parts of the maze. Ginny stood, her legs shaking from the sudden burden of her weight. She walked unsteadily into the castle, passing the ball (much to Ron's dismay and confusion, for he called her name to come and join Hermione and him, only to be ignored) and traipsed up to her dormitory. Upon entering, she found the room unoccupied and proceeded to sit, still in her elegant dress robes, on the floor.
"I'm going to check on her, Ron," Hermione said, watching Ginny walk unresponsively away from the ball. She placed her half-empty butterbeer on the red-clothed table.
"Well tell her to get herself down here; she's missing a brilliant time!" Ron said cheerily, raising his bottle of butterbeer. He grinned at the rest of the people seated at the table, and rejoined their lighthearted conversation.
Hermione smiled and left, heading up to Ginny's dormitory, where she figured she'd be. Hermione arrived swiftly there, and knocked on Ginny's door before she entered. A few seconds later, a small figure opened the door a tiny bit and peered from the crack. When she saw it was Hermione, she opened the door wider and let her inside.
"What's wrong, Gin?" Hermione sat, watching Ginny sit down on the bed, a look of deep perplexity still on her face.
Ginny shook her head, attempting to get the words out. A few minutes alone had let her reclaim her voice. "Malfoy…"
Hermione stiffened. Anything to do with Malfoy had to be bad. "Did he hurt you, Ginny? Say something mean?" Ginny shook her head, her mouth open but no words coming out. "Then, what?"
"…he kissed me."
Hermione made a breathy noise that sounded something like, "…Oh…"
Ginny sighed. "I don't know what happened, Hermione. I was sitting outside and he came by. He was acting so strangely. All nice-like, you know? Then, all of a sudden, we were kissing."
Hermione let out a low whistle. "I just haven't any idea what to say. All I can think of is – don't tell Ron."
Ginny nodded earnestly. "Oh, of course. Could you imagine if Ron knew? He'd go bonkers, that's certain." Ginny let out a frustrated groan. "I'm so confused!"
"I would be too. But anyway," Hermione said, leaning down on the bed next to Ginny, "what was it like?"
Ginny smiled. "It was the best kiss I've ever had."
The ball had ended, much to the school's disappointment and exasperation. Though upset the ball had come to a close, the girls and boys exited quite cheerfully (though a few, with disgruntled looks or weary eyes, were glad they were leaving; some having been shunned by their dates, or had dropped off to sleep in the middle of the dance) and shared late-night goodbyes. The girls giggled rather girlishly as they watched their female friends bid shy farewells to their equally embarrassed counterparts, while the guys attempted to get their dress robes off as fast as they could (though only with those of the same gender; Hogwarts had been fully aware of raging hormones and allowed nothing to slip past them).
Pansy waited for Draco to return after she saw him run to the Slytherin common room. She figured, rather foolishly, that Draco would come back. Pansy waited in vain, however, and after being urged to leave by Millicent Bulstrode, trooped back to the common room. Draco, of course, never gave Pansy a thought as he lied on his bed in the dormitory. He was feeling a mix of emotions never felt before, and it truly frightened him. Draco shot off his bed as his roommates entered the room, talking loudly of the ball and who had "gotten further" with their dates. Draco, unwilling to hear such petty things, demanded they leave instantly. After hearing the venom in his voice, they gave him nasty looks and continued their discussion in the common once they'd gotten their dress robes off. He nodded off, shortly after the troupe of boys left, thoughts of Ginny still plaguing his mind.
* * *
Ginny made her way down to the Great Hall to meet Ron and Hermione for lunch after spending most her morning in the common room with Lori. She found them sitting at the table, ignoring the food and talking quietly. Ron was apparently extremely angry at something, his face reddening, almost alarmingly close to the color of his hair. Ginny approached the table apprehensively, throwing puzzled glances at Hermione, who was attempting to calm Ron down.
"—and when I find out how, I swear I'll wring his neck! That good-for-nothing Slytherin, should have known it was him!" Ron pounded the table, triggering a shriek from Parvati, whose pumpkin juice goblet tipped over and spilled all over her lunch.
Ginny sat across the table from them and cleared her throat, attracting the attention of both Ron and Hermione. "Ron, what's the matter?"
"I'll tell you what's happened, that Malfoy –" Ron started, but was cut off impatiently by Hermione.
"He overheard Malfoy –" here Hermione made a strange face at Ginny, obviously thinking of the conversation she had had with Ginny three nights before, that Saturday night, "– talking about Harry. He was talking to Crabbe and Goyle, saying he'd been involved with his behavior."
Ginny opened her mouth, thinking back to when she was in the dungeon with Malfoy (or Draco? Ginny wasn't sure what to call him) and found out he'd been working for his father, making Harry violently unkind. She was debating whether or not to tell them, considering the circumstances. Ron would be absolutely infuriated that Ginny didn't tell anyone; Hermione would be rather shocked, given that she knew Ginny and he kissed. Ginny tuned out Ron's ranting, and decided to tell.
"I knew that Malfoy did it."
"Well, we should have, I mean – he is Malfoy after all!" Ron yelled, his voice rising, against Hermione's shushing.
"No," Ginny said, gulping, "I mean…I overheard him talking to his father about it."
Ron and Hermione both stopped and stared at Ginny. "What?!" Ron exclaimed. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because…because I…" Ginny started to say, but lost the words that were forming in her head.
"Because why, Ginny? Why?" Ron shouted, even angrier than he had been before. "I can't believe this!" he added as an afterthought.
Ginny looked at Hermione, who was still staring at her in shock. Ginny didn't know what to say – hell, she didn't know anything herself. She pushed herself from the table and ran from the Great Hall, Ron still sputtering and Hermione still in astonishment.
"What the hell, Hermione?" Ron said angrily, after Ginny left.
"She kissed him, Ron," Hermione explained softly. "I think that's why."
If Ron was angry before, there was no explanation for the way he was feeling now. "She…she what?" He said this so loudly that people in the Great Hall stopped and looked at him.
"Ron, sit down and shut up." Hermione shot him a look that made Ron obey. "Look, don't go and tell her I told you. I don't think she wants you to know, but I'm telling you. It happened the night of the ball; that's why she left early. Don't be mad at her, Ron, okay? She was wrong to keep what she knew to herself, and I'm sure she knows that now. I don't think she knows what she's doing, honestly. Just leave her alone for awhile."
Ron merely nodded, apparently biting back his tongue.
Ginny fled from the Great Hall, but hadn't any idea where she was going. All she did was run – through the door and across the snow-covered ground, past the frozen lake (and a few students who were passing their free time having snowball fights and generally a good time), through to the far end of the grounds until she arrived at a familiar place – the willow she had once been at, when Draco had come running.
Once again, he thought, she's running. Draco saw Ginny nearly fly past the lake at a breakneck speed. He hadn't spoken to her since that fateful Saturday night, but he often looked for her. Often he'd catch a glimpse of a petite Gryffindor and hoped it was her (sometimes he even disregarded the fact they did not have flaming red hair, his reason being that perhaps she had dyed it overnight), though normally it was not. Draco left the lake without a word to Crabbe or Goyle, whom he was with, and followed her. He figured she had gone to the same place he had run earlier – the willow they fought under, or rather, where Draco yelled at her for no particular reason. His pace quickened to a run, and he arrived in record time.
She was there. "Ginny?" he called, hoping to catch her attention.
Ginny's head snapped up and saw Draco standing a few feet from her. "Malf – Draco," she replied, correcting herself mid-sentence. The tradition of calling each other by surnames was mutually dropped.
"I wanted to talk to you," he said quietly.
"So did I," she answered softly. "Draco…I don't know what happened."
Draco sat down next to her. "Neither do I."
"Ron and Hermione know that you're involved with Harry's sudden behavioral change. I came down to lunch, and Ron knew. So I told them the rest."
Draco nodded solemnly. "I understand. I suppose I'll be in a spot of trouble, though."
Ginny let out a dry chuckle. "I guess. I want you to know I didn't want to tell them. I…I wanted to protect you."
"I'm no good at this. I don't know how to handle all this – I'm feeling stuff. I don't normally…feel."
Ginny looked surprised. "That must be an awful way to live. I couldn't bear being emotionless."
Shrugging, he replied, "You get used to it, growing up the way I did. Look at my father. He's not exactly the picture of emotions. To think I have to spend Christmas with them in a few days is nothing short of torture."
Ginny didn't know what to say to this, so she kept quiet. One look at Draco's face made her want to comfort him. Before she knew it, her hand was reaching up and resting around Draco's neck, drawing him closer. His head came to rest on her shoulder, warming her.
"I honestly don't understand anything of this, Draco. What's happening between us? Is there even an 'us?' Or was that kiss just an impulse, meaning nothing?" Ginny spat the last part out, its significance leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.
"It meant something, Ginny. Anything else wouldn't have this lingering effect on me." Draco picked his head off Ginny's shoulders, inches away from Ginny's face. Once again in the same position they had found themselves in only nights before, their lips met over again. This time, the feeling was not surprising, and neither of them pulled away.
* * *
Ginny had a hard time explaining to Ron what had happened between Draco and her. He would not have been as understanding as he was without the threats that Hermione sent him off with when Ginny called. Ron simply nodded stiffly and even managed a weak and forced smile when Ginny finished her speech. Draco did not accompany her, though begged by Ginny. He thought it would only make it worse, and Ginny finally agreed.
As far as where Draco and Ginny stood, no one knew. Only Ron, Hermione, Draco, and Ginny knew that anything had happened between them, and they hoped it would stay that way. There was still much talking to be had, but neither Draco nor Ginny would initiate it. Hermione frequently questioned Ginny on what was going on, but she was always left disappointed with a vague answer or no answer at all.
It stayed this way right up until the day the students were preparing to board the trains back to their homes for the Christmas holiday. Ginny and Ron were heading back to the Burrow while Hermione was going to her house, but planned on visiting the Weasleys. Draco dreaded going back home. There was nothing there for him, only obligatory gifts and false feeling. He wished that he could just stay at the castle, but his father would certainly forbid it. The moment came when the students were piling onto the train, saying goodbye to the friends they would miss over the holiday. Ron and Hermione came out of the castle, talking quietly to one another. Ron was watching Draco through narrow eyes.
"No, Ron, don't," pleaded Hermione, but Ron did not heed her and marched up to Draco.
"What'd you do, Malfoy?" he demanded fiercely.
Draco didn't look the least bit surprised. "It wasn't my idea, Weasley. If my father threatens my life then I pretty much want to save my ass."
"Oh, that's right, you don't care about anything else," Ron snarled, his hands balling into fists, "Tell me how to undo it."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Look, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. I don't have what you need, and neither do you. There's nothing you can do."
"Then where is it?"
"It's at Malfoy Manor. Where you're not exactly allowed, now are you?" Draco said, trying to keep himself level-headed. Picking a fight with Ginny's older brother was not a good idea.
"I'm going to Dumbledore," Ron said shortly, starting to turn around, but Draco grabbed his shoulder.
"No, you can't. If Dumbledore finds out, then he'd send Aurors and my father would destroy the antidote and the instructions. It's not a known potion."
"Aha!" Ron said victoriously. "You used a potion!"
"Way to go, Captain Obvious." Draco looked towards the train and saw Hagrid motioning everyone to board the train. "Well, as much as I'd like to continue this chat, I really must get on the train." Draco turned, and boarded the train.
Ron looked to Hermione, who was carefully watching Ron's face light up. He strode over to her and grabbed her hand, dragging her towards the train. "We're going to Malfoy Manor, Herm."