Disclaimer: If I owned anything of value, I'd tell you. And probably get overwhelmed by lawyers, but I'd tell you anyway. See? Honesty is a virtue (that can screw you for life.)

Warning: Shonen-ai (FujiRyo, OishiKiku, InuKai), some Tomoka OOC-ness (because she's older and more mature? Ha), Tezuka's conspicuous absence, multi-parted, nameless multitude of fictional fangirls, and massive POV changes...?

Author's Note: (Bear with me. This one's a long one) This is coming along surprisingly fast. Wow... Anyway, the first section was actually fun to write. I was worrying about how exactly should I portray Inui; was he a mad-scientist character? Or was he a sadist like Fuji, armed not with a smile, but with his so-called "edible" beverages (read: cleaning agents)? Somehow, my version of Inui turned out as a compromise of those two possibilities. I managed to envision him as a data-inclined sadist who views the world in numbers and no little eccentricity. The fact that he's supposedly serious while going about like that makes it all the more fun. :cough: so there's my excuse for Inui... moving along...

Um, the fangirl part was harder to write this time (because there are only so many synonyms for 'fanclub members'), but other than that, I do believe that things came out rather satisfactorily... although, come to think of it, Fuji-muse wasn't too pleased with me when I neglected to write in some quality time for him and Ryoma-muse. :nervous laugh: So, the almost non-existent InuKai hints and the OishiKiku fluff will have to do for now. Just another thing to warn about though—somehow, Oishi came off a little bit naïve in this part. Maybe a little too much? Oh, and nobody should feel compelled to berate me for conveniently shipping Tezuka off to some distant school: I've already realized how stupid I was to neglect Tezuka when I first started. AUGH. Had to insert a forever nameless, fictional stand-in captain in his place. :smacks self: Why do I always create more work for myself?

... and why do I have this sudden sinking feeling that this part has suddenly mutated into something far more complicated than what I had planned:cries:

Many thanks to all those who left a review in the first chapter. If you have anything you'd like to see happen, or want to share ideas, you can always leave a note in a review and request a response, or email me. :smile: I'm always open to suggestions :D

Edit: Reread and rewrote. Got rid of most of the unnecessary fangirl Japanese because my tolerance for it has completely imploded and revising was a must. I also must repeat that this was just a glorified excuse to write FujiRyo fiction, and therefore has no cohesive plot to it. Not that anybody's complaining though, eh? ;)

Intrigue Part 2 - Casting
by kasugai gummie

It wasn't long before Inui found Kaidoh locked away furtively in the boys' bathroom, and from the venomous glare that was currently directed at him, the bespectacled boy could tell that his kouhai was NOT happy to see him. Not that he could blame him either; the behaviors those girls were displaying prior to Kaidoh's escape really defied all pertinent data... thus his willingness to help Fuji with his schemes.

Inui was sure that somewhere down the line, he could probably gather enough data on the behavior of girls with abnormal estrogen levels and later use that information to somehow use those massive fan-followings their rival schools had against them...

Anyway.

What he really didn't understand was, WHY did Kaidoh choose to hide in the restrooms of all places? Not that he disagreed with the boy's instinct to hide from a mob of ravenous females, but really—the restroom?

Inui scoffed.

On six separate occasions was he privileged to see the male haven breeched by overzealous females. During two other separate occasions did he witness a couple of obsessive fans actually invade a closed stall and swarm their idol within. One of the poor aforementioned victims of hormones had to be taken to the school psychologist for a few hardcore sessions before he was able to use the stalls again without having a mental breakdown...

And Inui had been there to see it all.

Of course, it was also a possibility that his moody teammate was actually far more naïve than was previously noted... Inui looked thoughtful.

Actually, that made a lot of sense; Kaidoh, au contraire to his violent tendencies of scaring underclassmen shitless, could actually be quite sensitive and susceptible to the wiles of the world... oh yes, and very easily shocked. He concluded that it was his duty as a senpai, to instruct Kaidoh and prepare him for some of the nastier aspects of reality.

Never minding how wrong that sounded.

A wry smirk wormed its way onto thin lips, only to be answered by an irritated hiss that redirected Inui's attention back to the much-annoyed mamushi.

"What are you laughing at, senpai?"

The data-specialist laughed dryly, and motioned for the other to follow him.

A little apprehensive at having to leave his relatively safe sanctuary, Kaidoh trailed after the taller boy in reluctant silence, casting paranoid glances at their surroundings as they exited the outdoor restrooms and wandered into the afternoon light.

They walked in silence for a few minutes; Inui lost in contemplative thought and Kaidoh (obediently) walking alongside his senpai. When they were but a little ways away from the tennis courts, the lankier player suddenly stopped and wordlessly pulled out Secret Data volume #0503. Flipping it open to the desired page, he thrust it into Kaidoh's face.

"Based on the recurring patterns demonstrated in these past occurrences, you would have had four minutes and twenty seconds more before they decided to be unscrupulous and cornered you in there," Inui lectured blithely, ignoring the flush that was gradually taking over Kaidoh's face at an alarming rate. "Chances of you escaping a second time would have decreased to fifty-eight percent had you stayed in there, and then fallen another seven percent for every minute after that."

If looks could hurt, maim, or slaughter, Inui would have been doubled over, missing a limb, or dead on the floor.

Luckily (for Inui), they were interrupted from whatever Kaidoh was planning to do to his senpai by a frantic yell.

"Inui! Kaidoh! Thank god I found you two!"

The fact that both had turned simultaneously to regard the hurrying newcomer would have been eerie... had the newcomer not been too distressed to actually notice.

"You look stressed, Oishi."

Quirking tired lips into a half-smile, the re-nominated fukubuchou sighed. "Does it really show?" He grimaced. However, instead of launching into a personal sob-story like any other poor sod, he asked, "Have either of you seen Eiji? Or Fuji for that matter?"

Kaidoh shrugged wordlessly. He had just been dealing with his own problems, therefore too busy to actually pay attention to what might've been happening around him at that time.

Inui on the other hand adjusted his glasses, offering the other a closed look. "Maybe. Why?"

Oishi gaped up at his fellow third-year teammate. "Why?" Stressed out suddenly u-turned into furious. "I'll tell you why! This whole thing is stupid! STUPID! I don't know WHAT made me actually agreeing with you two in the first place, but this is horrible! It's like we're freely courting disaster! And disaster ALWAYS entails violence! My god, and violence is BAD!" He clenched his fists, taking in a deep breath as if ready to continue his soliloquy.

In his most definitely off-topic manner, Inui wondered if he should pat Oishi on the head before telling him to go do La Maz exercises...

However, just as quickly as he snapped, said usually calm and collected boy suddenly looked suitably stricken. "S-sorry," Oishi mumbled apologetically, one hand bracing his forehead while locking his gaze on the ground. "It's just that, everywhere I go, no matter where I turn—"

"—is senpai being harassed by other people too?" Kaidoh muttered, slanting an accusing glare at Inui.

"YES!" Oishi cried emphatically. He looked at the currently bandana-less boy hopefully. "Were you being chased too?"

"Fussshhhuuuuu."

Inui sighed. Well, can't help it. It seemed that he would have to take the responsibility of calming Oishi down all by him—

"Aa. Here you all are."

—self. So many interruptions today, it seemed. Inui raised a nonplussed hand in greeting.

"Yo."

Fuji smiled brightly. He turned innocently to a rather exasperated Oishi. "Did our illustrious leader mention why practice is canceled?" he inquired sweetly. "Because it WAS a little last minute, don't you think?"

Oishi groaned, burying his face in his hands. Eiji was immediately by his side, rubbing a soothing hand against the dark haired boy's back. "Nyaaaaa? What's wrong, Oishiii?"

"Buchou was attacked."

Oishi seemed to not notice the pregnant silence that followed his blatant announcement. "You have NO idea how fast the rumor mill is within the fan club communities. By the second to last class hour, well..." He slumped against his redhead partner who looked increasingly worried. "His fan club picked up on the activity, used this whole convoluted mess as an excuse to go 'extort answers', and before you know it..."

Kikumaru filled in the gaping blank for his doubles partner, amazement writ large over his face. "So it was technically our coach who decided to cancel practice, nya..."

Oishi nodded miserably. "Unfortunately, buchou was having spasms when I helped him to the nurse's office; and unconscious by the time I left to find you guys."

Of all the members present, only Fuji and Inui looked relatively calm. The tensai merely offered another comforting (?) smile, while Inui took the moment to contemplate upon this newest revelation.

This was definitely an unexpected turn of events—in fact it was completely unaccounted for in Inui's books. The tall third-year was positively overjoyed. This wasn't a particularly bad development at all. Inui admittedly wasn't one to openly express biased opinions on other people's behaviors, but he REALLY disliked their current buchou. Older by a few months than the rest, Seigaku Senior High's buchou was, in Inui's opinion, arrogant to a fault and with an ego the size of a freight truck.

In fact, Inui would've bet a whole year's worth of Secret Data files that the prick was somehow related to Atobe Keigo—but that was only if he'd been a naïve outsider. That wasn't the real problem though; he supposed that the true reason as to why he held such an intense dislike for the man was that, although the captain had the skills to be number one, his style was severely lacking; and that was enough to prejudice the data oriented player against the current captain. His intense dislike for the older teen had actually gotten to the point where he'd lost count of how many times he'd try to turn the captain into a specialized taste tester...

Inui didn't want to admit it, but he sorely missed Tezuka's efficient form of (Spartan) command.

Unfortunately, Tezuka was studying abroud now. But that was beside the point.

"What did the girls do to him?" Inui asked curiously, pencil poised and ready to go.

"... really Inui, I wished you'd put that away..."

"Sorry Oishi. Data's data. Think of this as a way of ensuring protection against overzealous females in the future."

"..." Oishi gave a grateful little smile to Eiji who beamed right back at him. Then, instead of directly answering Inui's inquiry, gravely turned to Fuji.

"Fuji..."

"Aa."

The dark-haired Mother of Seigaku looked ready to beg. "Do you have to let your admirers know about your relationship with Echizen this way? Isn't this whole setup what people refer to as overkill?"

"Perhaps." Fuji looked sympathetically at his friend. "I'm very sorry, Oishi. But don't worry too much; there won't be any casualties." He thought for a minute before correcting himself. "There won't be any major casualties anyway."

"But our buchou! Last time I saw him, he was under a pile of screaming adolescent girls whimpering about sexual harassment and," he trailed off, confusion replacing his resigned expression. "... protecting his 'family jewels'?"

Eiji suddenly burst out laughing. Oishi blinked at looked at his guffawing partner in consternation.

"Eiji? Do you know what he meant by that?"

The acrobatic player only laughed harder.

Even Fuji seemed more amused than usual. He cast a speculative glance at a brightly blushing Kaidoh and Inui, who was incidentally scribbling down the details as fast as the human body allowed.

"Saa... How unfortunate."

Oishi tore his bewildered gaze away from his cackling partner and once again looked pleadingly at the fair-haired prodigy. "Please? Can't you just make a private announcement or something? I don't want what happened to buchou to also happen to any of you."

"Iya. Really, it will be fine. Besides, Inui's keeping tabs on everything, and," a decidedly wicked grin tugged at the corners of Fuji's lips, "where would the fun be by just merely stepping out of that proverbial closet?"

The former fukubuchou sagged in defeat. He'd forgotten that there was no arguing with Fuji where Echizen was involved; it was almost as if Fuji were in... Oishi hastily cut off THAT train of thought. What Fuji did in his spare time was his business. Nobody else's. And if Echizen was fine with that...

Oishi blinked. Speaking of Echizen... He gave their group a quick once-over.

Where exactly were their two missing members? He bit his lip worriedly.

"Hey, where are Echizen and Momo anyway?"

"Momo-senpai, 'Fertility' is NOT another way of saying 'Fruity Tutti'."

"Wha! But last time I asked Fuji-senpai the definition of 'feruteruti'—" The spiky haired teen trailed off at the a dangerous glint that settled in Ryoma's sharp gaze.

"Momo-senpai," Ryoma's tone could have been called patient, bland even, had it not been for the piqued expression on his features. "Do you even know what unit you are studying right now?"

"Ee..." Momoshirou scrunched up his face in mock concentration. "Wait, wait, wait! Don't tell me, cause I think I know this one!"

Ryoma growled.

Relaxing back into his previous position, the older boy reached over the library table to fondly tousle the other's head with a roguish smile. "Kidding, just kidding!" he laughed disarmingly. Then the smile dropped from his face abruptly as he similarly dropped his head onto the hard wood table. "Damn it! Why are we studying gaijin poetry anyway! Half of what's written can't be translated to Japanese anyway!" He scratched his head behind the ear, scowling at the quirked eyebrows from across the table.

Then, as if a persistent thought just re-occurred to him, he stared searchingly at his friend. "You know, getting riled up so easily is bad for your health, especially at such a young age. Anything wrong?"

"Not really."

Curiously. "How's it going with Fuji-senpai?"

"He's mada mada da ne."

Momoshirou stared.

Ryoma watched dispassionately as the older youth choked, coughed hurriedly, and continued to stare at him with bewildered eyes. Boy wonder smirked mockingly at his sputtering teammate.

"H-hold on... Y-you're... not... you don't mean?"

The young prodigy rolled his eyes. He did wonder sometimes at how truly gullible his senpai was. Amazing really. "Iya da. Really now, what were you thinking? Momo-senpai must have a very dirty mind..." He smirked at his friend.

"Oi..." Momoshirou suddenly had the most insistent urge to change the topic. "So, uh... I heard that somebody spied on you and Fuji-senpai during break?"

Damn, not quite the best change he could have hoped for. But better than the previous route...

"Nn."

Momoshirou ventured further. "And our senpais are being stalked...?"

"So it would seem."

"I heard that buchou was hospitalized."

Ryoma blinked. Had Fuji planned that too? Rather unexpected.

Oh well. Boy wonder dismissed his contemplation absently: Their current captain was a strange one anyway. No real love lost there.

Momo frowned disapprovingly at the disinterested look on his kouhai's face. "You're heartless."

Ryoma shrugged. "Not really. It's not my fault that buchou can't control his fans."

Violet eyes suddenly took a faraway-dazed appearance. "Our senpais are so lucky... I wouldn't mind a few more girls myself."

"You can have mine," Ryoma muttered ominously. And he meant it too; anything to get rid of those scary people—be it dumping them onto his spiky-haired senpai or scaring them off with a good dose of scandalous truth. In light of that, he supposed that the only reason he didn't argue as much with Fuji's proposal was that he too was more than willing to shed a few hundred fangirls off his back.

Momoshirou seemed shock. "Really?"

The younger boy, however, drawled on as if uninterrupted. "But unfortunately you can't take them either way, can you? If Tachibana's sister were to hear you saying things like that..." He left the issue hanging with a devious grin.

Startled silence followed by a rueful laugh. "You ARE heartless. Been spending a little too much time with Fuji-senpai?" he quipped.

Ryoma grinned smugly. "I learn from the best. Now," he casually leaned across a stack of books to calmly whack the older boy across the head.

"HEY! What was that for!"

"I'm not here to waste my time, Momo-senpai. Your English TA asked me to be your tutor, and I'm going to make sure you can at least score an eighty-five on the next test."

"But—!"

"Try defining 'Fertility' again."

Momoshirou muttered rebelliously as he reached for a dictionary. "No respect for his elders. No respect at all."

"And while we're at it, let's work on your pronunciation too."

"Eeeh? What's wrong with my pronunciation!"

"Everything. Now hurry up; Fuji promised me a match today and since practice was canceled, I want to at least play a bit before I go home."

Mutter. "No respect."

It wasn't long before the rumors concerning the Seigaku Tennis Regulars had completed a full cycle throughout the respective network of fanclub societies.

Some, who had taken the supposed news harder than most, almost frantically sought out their counterparts; which was how the five presidents of Oishi's, Fuji's, Ryoma's, Eiji's, and Kaidoh's fanclubs found themselves gathered under a wary truce.

All five girls had agreed to a confidential meeting, reluctantly bringing only their second-in-commands. Gathered in one of the unused classrooms, the five presidents stared at each other suspiciously, unwilling to speak into the silence that blanketed over them.

Nobody knew exactly who broke the silence, but all of the sudden...

"Number Two—"

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Ma'am!"

Silence.

"Uh..."

"Sorry!"

"Excuse me!"

"Please ignore me!"

"My deepest, sincerest, and most heartfelt apologies!"

"... What the hell?"

Tomoka shot a warning glance at her bewildered vice president, who was the last to voice something. Standing so swiftly that her trademark ponytails swayed as if chiding the rest of the room's occupants, she cleared her throat.

"Since introductions would be pointless after this episode—"

"Oh for crying out loud, get to the point already!" Tomoka stopped short and glared at the offending attendee who pointedly ignored the heated look. "What are we going to do about this SCANDAL!"

"It's much too early to refer to this as a scandal," Tomoka stated coldly, not at all surprised that the rude person was the disagreeable president from Fuji's fan club. "So far our sources have found out that apparently Ryoma-sama, Fuji-senpai, Oishi-senpai, and Kikumaru-senpai are all involved with some unknown people. Even the gender is a mystery as of this moment."

"That's exactly my point! It's a SCANDAL from hell!"

"Erm... Excuse me?"

The speaker shied away from the double glare that snapped towards her in peculiar unison. However, quickly regaining her composure, the dark-haired head of the Kaidoh Kaori Rabu Rabu Association tapped an authoritative finger on her desk.

"Yes, well, I have a question."

"Which is?"

"Why am I here?"

Tomoka looked surprised before immediately rattling off her answer. "Why are you here? Because this involves all the current, single, tennis Regulars? And thus requires the assistance of all their respective fan clubs...!"

The Kaidoh fangirl waved a hand dismissively. "I know that. Perhaps what I mean to say is, what does that have to do with Kaidoh-sama?"

Tomoka looked confused. What was that girl trying to get at?

"Kaichou."

All five club-presidents looked up simultaneously. "Yes?"

The speaker was the Kaidoh fan club's Number Two fangirl. Although maintaining a relatively expressionless and professional façade, she still managed to look startled at the multiple response received.

"..."

Her dark-haired commander sighed. "Never mind Number Two. What is it?"

The girl hung her head in shame. "I apologize for neglecting to tell you an important bit of information."

"What is it?"

The rest of the club leaders all stilled, curious as to what the fidgeting fangirl had to say.

The stoic-faced vice president looked guilty. "After being informed by Number One Hundred and Fifteen of the sudden flurry of activities, I ordered the girls stationed in Sector Eighteen to go see if Kaidoh-sama was in anyway involved with this"—here she grimaced—"situation."

Understanding leeched into her kaichou's face. "You don't mean..."

The tall girl looked ready to cry. "Yes. I'm sorry kaichou, but by unleashing Sector Eighteen on Kaidoh-sama, I believe that I have alerted whoever else is involved in this, and thus unwittingly, also put Kaidoh-sama into a complicated position."

Tomoka jumped up triumphantly. "There! You see, everybody's involved in this!" She paused. "Except for maybe Tezuka-san, but he's taking courses overseas... so that's a different matter all together..."

While Tomoka preached of her one true Oujisama's virtues (and inconsequently taking side trips on Tezuka), the two remaining kaichous who had yet to address their own opinions conversed with each other. One shrugged after both seemed to reach a mutual agreement and looked expectantly at the three active members. "It's true that something has been going on," the only redhead in the room admitted. "Recent reports have come in describing subtle changes in Kikumaru-san's behavior as of late."

She sighed.

"So what are we to do?"

Ryoma's Number One Fan grinned. "And you call yourselves fan club presidents." Tomoka snapped her finger, and held out a hand into which her Number Two placed a large, all-purpose pointer.

"We snoop around like the good and loyal fans we are and figure out what's going on!" She slammed the pointer's point onto the table.

"Kaichou!" Number Two dabbed at her eyes with a custom made "Cool Echizen" printed handkerchief, sopping with admiration.

"Che." The blonde Fuji-fangirl looked ready to bring up another argument. However, once again fate decided to shove her into the corner where it obviously thought her to belong by bringing in another underling.

"Kaichou!"

Nobody answered this time.

The gasping runner leaned over her knees, staring incredulously at the gathering while trying to catch her breath. "... Number Three Hundred and Ten re...porting... Kai...Kaichou?"

The president of the Oishi fan club coughed delicately as she addressed the other attendees. "Iya. She belongs to my club." Thus saying, she turned to the harried Oishi fangirl. "Go ahead and report Number Three Hundred and Ten. What is it?"

The wheezing girl, though weary, snapped to attention. "Ma'am! I just received word from Number Three Hundred and Fifty-Two that Oishi-sama is on the move!"

"Oh? Where?"

"To the library."

"Really? I thought he was still talking to the coach," Oishi's Number One Fan muttered to herself before signaling to her second as she stood up to leave. "Alright, then. I hope you girls don't mind, but—"

"Wait, Kaichou!" the runner added in hastily, "he's also in the company with ALL the other Tennis Regulars!"

A good minute of silence greeted this last bit of information before a chorus of three more "Kaichou!"s were suddenly heard from down the hall...

And then all hell broke loose.

End Part 2
Completed: 12/17/03
Revised: 04/03/05