Again I am playing in Elaine Cunningham's world. This scene coincides with pages 250-254 of Dark Journey. I have expanded the scene to fill in some of the gaps.
UNDERLYING TRUTHS
She has not seen you yet. Just turn around and walk away. No one will be the
wiser.
Jag's feet continued in their forward path, heading straight and sure for the
oddly-formed coral frigate named, by Jaina, Trickster. All signs of the
initial breach, caused by the joining to the pirate ship, were missing now.
Unlike a repaired ship made of polymers and durasteel, this vessel showed no
scars or shiny, new patches. Nearby, Jaina sat atop a crate, huddled over
something that held her undivided attention.
You promised her mother you would deliver this message. Fels
always keep their promises. Suck it up and deliver the message - short and
sweet and to the point. Then get out of there as fast as you can.
Jaina turned so that he got a good look at her profile. A loose braid fell over
her shoulder, blocking most of her face. Jag's step faltered, a minor miss in
its steady rhythm, but some undeniable force propelled him on, even when his
inner child protested.
You never really promised; you just said you would be seeing Jaina.
Jag mentally pinched himself. No you made the foolish mistake of asking what
you should tell Jaina. You could have gotten off easy, just delivering a
message to that green-eyed, all-too-handsome Jedi. What was his name? Oh yeah,
Zekk. I bet she has the hots for that one. Why would
Jaina ever even consider a relationship with a Force-blind, fair-haired fool
who insists on throwing himself at her feet when she can have any male Jedi in
the galaxy? I bet he is just her type. As a matter of fact, that Zekk fellow
made no bones about wanting to know what my interest in Jaina was. Kriff Jag, what ever possessed you to tell Princess Leia
you would do this!
The slow turn of Jaina's head revealed a set of tightly pursed lips, which
quickly turned down to a scowl. This was accompanied by a pair of piercing
brown eyes that blazed right through Jag as though she could see into his
confused heart. Jaina spoke before he reached her side.
"Yes, I took one of your pilots. But Kyp is back and in reasonable working
order. If you have any complaints, take them up with him." Jaina jerked
a thumb in Lowbacca's direction.
Jag followed the indicated direction of her gesture and met the sight of her
enormous, ginger-haired Wookie pal rising, his massive arms capable of ripping
a man in half folded one over the other as he issued a challenging stare. Jag
gathered that between the Wookie and Jaina, his odds were slim to none of
getting out unscathed. The distinct possibility of wounds, either physical or
emotional, instantly prodded the protective barriers of old to rise in Jag's psyche.
The Chiss mentality of giving little to your enemy, a practice schooled into
his pilot's mind, caused him to dismiss the physical threat with little more
than a passing glance.
Jag turned his attention back to Jaina, determined to complete his grizzly task
in a timely fashion and devise a hasty retreat. "I came with a message from
your mother."
Jaina cocked an eyebrow in interest and gestured for Jag to take a seat on a
crate opposite her. "Been lowered to messenger boy, I see." Jag remained where
he stood, his face the unflappable mask, not betraying how he truly was
beginning to detest this task. Oddly, Jaina's expression softened just as his
hardened. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. Please, sit. Tell me what news my
mother sends. I am sure she and father must be off on some new adventure
already. Perpetually the heroes, they rarely have time to stick around in one
place. Tragedy or not, duty always calls."
It was in that moment Jag glimpsed the wounded girl Jaina kept hidden from view
behind her prickly exterior. Jag imagined that some part of her deep down
wanted only to be loved and despite outward impressions, some part missed the
family she pretended not to need. Without getting into the gory details of the
battle, Jag related the story of the attack on Jaina's father. The widening of
her eyes as he described the beating Han Solo received was not lost on the
pilot.
After Jag explained Leia's decision to leave Hapes, Jaina finally interrupted.
"Where did they go?"
"She said they would rejoin Luke Skywalker, and that
you would know the location."
"Makes sense," Jaina said absently. "How badly was my father hurt?"
Jag detailed the injuries in a clinical tone, careful to supply enough
information without getting into the bloody specifics. Even so, the lines
around Jaina's eyes and mouth seemed to deepen in concern. Jag stifled the urge
to close the distance between them and take the tiny hand resting on her knee
as they sat face to face on the crates. He reminded himself that he was never part
of her life and such dreams were unrealistic – mere flights of fantasy – even
as he repeated the droid's assurances that the infamous Han Solo would indeed
recover.
"My mother must have been surprised," Jaina murmured as she rubbed her hand
along the curve of her bent knee. "She always said Dad's skull was thicker than
a Star Destroyer's hull."
Recalling Leia's shock at Han's injury, Jag had to stifle a grin. "She
intimated something along that line."
Jaina shook her head as if to express some disappointment only she understood, then released a sigh that seemed to hold the weight of the
galaxy in it. "Knowing my father, this might have started with some sort of
misunderstanding. I'll talk to Ta'a Chume about it."
The muscles around Jag's chest tightened at the thought. Despite his young age,
he had developed an astute ability to read others early-on, a trait he had long
admired in the great Grand Admiral Thrawn and aspired
to emulate. Although with Jaina, that skill had been sorely lacking. Ta'a Chume
was no doubt at the center of the Solos' troubles, just as Jaina's mother had
expressed very diplomatically. Despite his decision to deliver Leia's message
then excuse himself from Jaina Solo's life, Jag could not stop himself as he
spoke.
"Perhaps you should reconsider that."
The softened features of Jaina's face, which had placated Jag into allowing his
protective nature to overrule his usually unswayable willpower, hardened
instantly, and a brilliant flash churned in her eyes, almost as if a fire
burned beneath them. Jaina propped her fists on her hips.
"Oh? And why's that?"
Immediately on the defensive, Jag spoke before he thought. "I don't trust the
former queen mother. Frankly, I'm rather surprised that you do."
He instantly regretted the words. Jag took great pride in his ability to
measure his words and temper. A sharp clatter drew both their eyes to the
walkway overhead. The sight of the Jedi Princess staring down at them increased
his internal flogging tenfold. Tenel Ka stood stock still, her face an
unreadable mask sizing up the pair below. The air was filled with an electric
tension while not one of them found suitable words to break the silence. Tenel
Ka focused her gaze on Jag for the briefest of seconds, then
spun on her heel, her red braid whipping to follow her hastily retreating feet.
Jag scowled. "That was unforgivably tactless of me."
Jaina's face became the harsh mask donned by a judge at sentencing. "I wouldn't
worry about it. People who eavesdrop deserve what they hear."
"Perhaps, but I should speak to her."
Jag tipped his head to Jaina, disappointed in the fact he was leaving her even
though he had resolved to make a clean break as soon as possible, and at the
same time, eager to leave behind the person who was not at all what he had
conjured in his mind. As he hurried after the retreating Hapan princess, Jag
reminded himself that it was human nature to build people up, just as it was
human nature for those set on pedestals to prove just how wrong our hopes could
be.
"Your Highness, a word."
Thankfully, the red-haired Jedi stopped to face him, not at all the reaction
Jag imagined would have transpired if he were pursuing Jaina. She would have
made him chase her to the ends of the Hapes, Jag was sure. Why must everything
come back to her, he pondered.
"My name is Tenel Ka."
"Of course." The answer was so unexpected; Jag was momentarily caught
off-guard and could think of no better response. After not being able to
discern a clear reason the Jedi princess would insist on dispersing with
formalities, he quickly regrouped. "I wanted to apologize for the insult to
your family. It was not my intention to gossip or offend."
With her green eyes, Tenel Ka studied Jag for a moment. He felt like she was
measuring him up to determine his very worthiness. In almost a dismissal, she
spun and stalked off, for that was the only way to describe the Jedi's walk.
Unexpectedly she summoned Jag over her shoulder. "Walk with me."
By the first turn in the corridor leading away from the docking bay, Jag had
caught her at a quick jog. He fell into step, finding her pace naturally
similar to his own, purposeful and efficient.
"You followed me from the docking bay, which is precisely what I hoped you
would do. I observed you and Jaina together at the diplomatic dinner. It seems
likely that she would assign more value to your opinion than mine."
The very notion struck Jag as ironic at best. If only Jaina held him in some
esteem, he would not be in the predicament he found himself in. "I haven't
noticed that. Perhaps Jaina Solo's regard is one of those mysteries only Jedi
can perceive."
Tenel Ka pursed her lips, and a troubled light shone dimly in her eyes. "Of
late, Jaina has been…difficult. The last time we spoke, Jaina and I disagreed
on several matters. We seem to be at a point where neither of us can see a way
to reconcile our differences. My grandmother has been more than accommodating
to my friend, especially in light of her usual disposition toward my Jedi
friends in the past. Therefore, I can only conclude my grandmother perceives
some gain in pursuing a relationship with Jaina. What that may be is a question
worthy of finding an answer."
Jag pondered the variables. "I fail to distinguish what edge Ta'a Chume can
gain from winning Jaina's confidences. Your grandmother has seceded
the thrown in rightful succession. Maybe the former queen mother is merely
bored with her own status and sees some usefulness in mentoring Jaina, who she
perceives as like-minded."
"My grandmother might be an old woman," she noted, "but do not take Ta'a Chume
lightly. There is always more than what you see. What concerns me is that there
is probably much more to her current plans than even Jaina realizes."
"I see." Jag perceived there was more that the Jedi was trying to tell him, but
he was slow to grasp it. "The attack on Han Solo puzzled me. Though I know
Prince Isolder once courted Leia, I don't see why Ta'a Chume would go to such
extremes on her son's behalf."
Tenel Ka stood for a moment as if undecided on how to proceed. Then she bobbed
her head in a curt nod and motioned for Jag to follow her. He fell into step
beside her, realizing he was being dragged once again into Jaina's life. This
time, he felt like fate was pulling him down in a vortex that he was helpless
to resist. The degree of weight Tenel Ka applied to her decision made this fact
evident.
They took a landspeeder to the palace and then made
their way to the opulent chambers of the queen. "This is my mother's favorite
room," Tenel Ka said, and pushed open a massive door.
Jag peered inside the darkened room. The luxury was apparent, but there was
some degree of comfort, a sense of home in the trappings. Glancing from the
immense bed that would engulf any occupant to the small sitting table with
gilded hair brushes at the other end, he assumed the room was empty.
"There," the Jedi said softly, indicating a chair nearly hidden in a curtained
alcove.
Jag just barely made out the outline of a person, so still that one might
dismiss her as part of the furnishings. Her slumped appearance attested to the
woman's lack of participation in life as it was happening before her. Two eyes
stared sightlessly into the air, not sparing a glance for the two visitors as
they entered the room and headed her way.
Tenel Ka stooped over the chair. "We have a visitor, Mother."
The woman's brown eyes flicked up to Jag and then returned to the window. She
might as well have been absent as Tenel Ka spoke about the plight of the
refugees, the Consortium's worries, and the attempts to rebuild the fleet. As
the daughter concluded her discourse, any hope of her mother's input faded away
with her voice.
Tenel Ka leaned forward and touched her forehead to her mother's. Jag saw the
deeply buried sadness flash across the young woman's face as her last attempt
to make a connection failed. She quickly kissed her mother's cheek and rose,
striding out the door without glancing back at Jag.
He followed her to the door. When it closed behind them, Tenel Ka leaned against
it. Her eyes drifted shut, pinching out the pain welling up from her soul.
"This is the woman who will command the defense of Hapes. Do you understand why
my grandmother wishes to replace her?"
The Jedi's intentions for bringing Jag there were beginning to become apparent
as pieces of the puzzle fell into place. "Princess Leia will never accept such
a role."
Tenel Ka's eyes flew open; the furrow of her brow
reflected some disappointment she perceived. "Is that what you think is
happening?"
Jag usually had a good read of situations, but by Tenel Ka's
reaction it was apparent she believed he was missing the bigger picture. Jag
could not believe he was that far a field in his assessment of the unfolding
events. "What other interpretation is there?"
"I know my grandmother. She will never fully relinquish the throne. Perhaps she
envisions ruling a second time, through someone younger and more tractable than
either my mother or Princess Leia."
On first listen, Jag's thoughts turned to Jaina. She definitely fit the
description of younger. The other point in relation to Jaina was enough to
cause Jag to chuckle. "Up to a certain point, logic suggests you're describing
Jaina Solo. But only up to a point! Tractable is not a word that readily
comes to mind when her name is mentioned."
"Fact," the Jedi agreed. "Still, it is something to consider."
A mental image of Jaina strolling down a path between columns of her subjects
flashed before his eyes. She was dressed in a gown of the finest purple shimmersilk,
the bodice modest and form fitting, the skirt flaring out to a long train
dragging behind. For a moment she was the picture of decorum nodding discreetly
to her subjects as they bowed and curtsied. Then, one courtesan moved a hair
too slow, and Jaina's look changed from the serene expression of a monarch
adept at dealing with all manner of people to a fiery woman who dare not be
challenged. Jag shook his head to banish the disturbing image.
"Let's assume that she agreed to this. How would she go about gaining the
throne?"
"Since no daughters were born to Ta'a Chume, Prince Isolder is the legal heir
to the throne. His wife rules."
Up to this point in the conversation Jag had handled the flow, even as it had
steered into new waters. The idea of Jaina marrying Prince Isolder, a man old
enough to be her father, floored him. After a moment, it occurred to Jag that
he was gaping like a Mon Calamari. He shut his mouth so abruptly that his teeth
clicked. "Prince Isolder would agree to this?"
"He may not have a choice," Tenel Ka said grimly. "If she decides that this is
a good path to power, she will find a way to take it."
"Ta'a Chume has that much power?"
The Jedi regarded him somberly. "I was not speaking of my grandmother."
Jag could not think of anything appropriate to say. He simply stood there and
stared wide-eyed at Tenel Ka. In essence, this Jedi and friend for some time to
Jaina, a person that knew her much better than he could claim, was stating
plain as day that Jaina was in fact slipping down a slippery slope. How could
he rightly argue with the Jedi princess? What facts could he bring to light
that would sway her feelings? Ultimately, he believed none. Desperation had
brought Tenel Ka to this point; she had turned to him for help.
"If your fears are true, I do not see how my influence can sway Jaina from her
chosen path. For if things truly are as you say, I have misjudged Jaina Solo
and the person she is."
Tenel Ka let out a sigh. "No, you have not misjudged my friend. She has simply
lost sight of who that person is. What we saw on Myrkr,
what happened there…" Her voice tapered off, and Tenel
Ka seemed to choke on the memories. She glanced away for a second before
meeting Jag's stare. The fact that she needed him to understand obviously
outweighing the cost of dredging up memories better left untouched. "What we
saw was worse than anyone could ever imagine. I tell you this so you may better
understand what terrible things haunt her soul every waking moment and I am
sure torture her dreams at night."
Tenel Ka seemed to slip into some nightmare of her own as she recalled in
detail the events of Myrkr, right down to Anakin's
sacrifice to save his sister. "Jaina should have died, but Anakin saved her. He
traded his life for hers. I think she lost the person she was at that moment.
Jacen would have suffered the loss like Jaina, but it was not his life that was
spared in the act of Anakin's death. Jacen and Jaina were two sides of a coin;
without one side, the coin simply feels worthless. She would have leaned on
him, and together they would have been all right." Tenel Ka finally stopped,
unable to share her pain any further.
"But I am not even what you would call a friend; she won't let me get that
close. How can you expect me to make a difference? I have no reason to believe
she assigns a higher value to my opinion than yours, which she has blatantly
dismissed."
Tenel Ka's eyes flicked over him for a moment. "You
may not see that, but when I see you two together there is…" She inhaled sharply,
the sound betraying the depth of emotion behind the words. "There is a spark,
something I know is missing from my life now that Jacen is gone, but since I
miss it, I can recognize it. Sometimes, as a Jedi, we can see things beyond the
reality before our eyes. I believe you recognize what I know is true. If that
is the case, only you can mend Jaina's heart and help her find the part of her
she lost on Myrkr."
"I don't understand what it is you expect from me?"
Tenel Ka's smile was rueful. "I suppose it is not my
place to say. Every man must find his own path, but may I suggest that you stop
fighting the current of your life so hard and allow it to take you for the ride
intended for you. Obviously, something brought you out of the Unknown Regions.
Something guided you here, to this place and time. Maybe you don't believe in
the Force, maybe you call it fate or destiny or by some other name. Trust in
that. If you do, I think you will find the answers you seek."
Then, Tenel Ka reached forward and grabbed Jag by the hand. The touch was
unexpected to say the least, but Jag did not pull away. "Don't make the same
mistake I made; don't let it pass you by."
Jag stared straight into her green eyes, a single tear hung in the balance on
the rim of her right eye. "What?"
Tenel Ka squeezed his hand. A sudden strange glowing sensation filled him,
starting at his heart and spreading out slowly to fill him with a comfortable warmth. The feeling was unlike anything he had
ever known; it was like a breath of fresh air, strong and true. At that moment,
Jag felt like a door opened in his soul and some emotions that he had buried
since Davin and Cherith's
deaths rose to the surface. The answer to his question filled his very being in
the forming of a simple connection.
On some level, a bond had been struck with Jaina, a link that did not allow him
the luxury of walking away. Some undeniable force had bullied him at every turn
to step beyond his comfort zone. Even so, with all the distress and mayhem
Jaina dispatched in his life, something felt fundamentally right. He felt whole
deep in that place Tenel Ka had touched briefly, his heart. And it was then he
recognized that his heart was the driving force in all of his recent
out-of-character behavior. The only way to be faithful to his heart's quest
would be to discover what this feeling burning deep in its core truly was, be
it friendship or something stronger. Perhaps, if he stopped fighting it and
allowed the emotion to take shape in the confines of his life's structure, in
his comfort zone, Jag would find the answers he sought.
Tenel Ka lowered her head as if she sensed he had found the answer, then let go
of Jag's hand. The sensation vanished instantly, but now Jag knew what
underlying truth had brought him to this point. If he was ever going to live
with himself, Jag could not afford to run away from whatever lie
ahead, and that was precisely what he had been doing. One way or another Jag
would find out who the person Jaina intended to be – the one she was or the one
her friends and family feared she might become - but if he had any say, it
would be the former rather than the latter.
Tenel Ka swept her hand, gesturing down the hall with an open palm. "Come, my
friend. There are answers waiting to be found."
Together, the two warriors walked down the hall; their pace slower than before,
both comfortable in the silence and in their newfound friendship.
