Rory started crying a different kind of tears, the kind of tears you cried
when you were happy. But these tears also had a hint of doubt in them. She
wanted so desperately to believe the comforting words that Hoobastank sang
to her. Her common sense told her that this was all a dream; that it was
fake, that she was going to wake up and learn that this had never happened.
Her heart told her otherwise. Her heart told her that it was real, that for
him to go to the trouble to get the CD to her, to have found a song so
fitting had to mean something. Her mind and her heart fought all night,
battling for control of her emotions. In the end, her heart won over her
head.
At some point in the night, Rory slipped into a dream. A dream where her
and Jess were together, on the bridge, happy, alone, in each others arms.
She was reading to him from Oliver Twist. He ran his thumb in circles on
her shoulder, listening happily to Rory reading.
Rory woke from that dream wanting to see Jess. She almost got up and went to Luke's, but she decided not to. She didn't want to be the girl that gets hurt, and then after one nice thing, runs back into the arms of the one who hurt her. She wanted to be mad at him. She spent the next hour recounting all the mean things Jess had done to her. By the time she fell asleep again, she felt she was appropriately mad at him. She knew it was stupid, but she wouldn't let her self love him, she wouldn't let herself rely on him as she had done in the past. She needed to not need him, and being mad was the only thing she could think of to do. Just as she fell asleep, she glanced at the clock, it said it was 11:30.
At the dinner, Jess lay awake wondering if she had seen the CD. Cursing at himself for not putting it in a brighter colored case. While lying there, Jess had come up with at least 11 things that he had done wrong that night. Things he should have done differently. Like putting the CD in a brighter case, or leaving a note with the CD explaining to Rory how he felt. He agonized over whether or not she would even listen to the CD if she had seen it. Would she even know it was him who had left it? Or would she think it was bag boy? Or some other guy she had met in his absence? Jess tried to sleep, but he couldn't, all he could think of was her, he knew if he did manage to sleep, he would dream of her, and that he did not want to do. She haunted his thoughts all day; he would not let her haunt his dreams. So, he didn't sleep. Jess wondered how long he could go without sleep. He doubted he could stand being tired much longer, but he would have to, he couldn't let her take all of his life. He had to have some control. It didn't take him long to realize that he was thinking about her, awake or asleep, so he may as well sleep. He was going to think of her anyway. He might as well be rested right? Jess looked at the clock before letting go of himself for the night. It read 11:30.
TBC
Ok is this good? Bad? Useless? Come one people! I need to know what you think! Please tell me!!! Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I have had a lot to do. Been dealing with twin 2 year old boys, I love them to death, but they drain my energy so bad! On top of that, my dog just had puppies, now I have 8 dogs. It's been hard to get free time to write, but I will be better about updating in the future! I swear! DriftAway.
Rory woke from that dream wanting to see Jess. She almost got up and went to Luke's, but she decided not to. She didn't want to be the girl that gets hurt, and then after one nice thing, runs back into the arms of the one who hurt her. She wanted to be mad at him. She spent the next hour recounting all the mean things Jess had done to her. By the time she fell asleep again, she felt she was appropriately mad at him. She knew it was stupid, but she wouldn't let her self love him, she wouldn't let herself rely on him as she had done in the past. She needed to not need him, and being mad was the only thing she could think of to do. Just as she fell asleep, she glanced at the clock, it said it was 11:30.
At the dinner, Jess lay awake wondering if she had seen the CD. Cursing at himself for not putting it in a brighter colored case. While lying there, Jess had come up with at least 11 things that he had done wrong that night. Things he should have done differently. Like putting the CD in a brighter case, or leaving a note with the CD explaining to Rory how he felt. He agonized over whether or not she would even listen to the CD if she had seen it. Would she even know it was him who had left it? Or would she think it was bag boy? Or some other guy she had met in his absence? Jess tried to sleep, but he couldn't, all he could think of was her, he knew if he did manage to sleep, he would dream of her, and that he did not want to do. She haunted his thoughts all day; he would not let her haunt his dreams. So, he didn't sleep. Jess wondered how long he could go without sleep. He doubted he could stand being tired much longer, but he would have to, he couldn't let her take all of his life. He had to have some control. It didn't take him long to realize that he was thinking about her, awake or asleep, so he may as well sleep. He was going to think of her anyway. He might as well be rested right? Jess looked at the clock before letting go of himself for the night. It read 11:30.
TBC
Ok is this good? Bad? Useless? Come one people! I need to know what you think! Please tell me!!! Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I have had a lot to do. Been dealing with twin 2 year old boys, I love them to death, but they drain my energy so bad! On top of that, my dog just had puppies, now I have 8 dogs. It's been hard to get free time to write, but I will be better about updating in the future! I swear! DriftAway.