A.N.
Hey guys, DriftAway here, so this is Chapter 5. sorry its been so long. I
just really needed to let my self feel my way into this chapter. Do u know
what I mean? Probably not, I just needed to feel that what I was writing
was what I wanted this to be. Sometimes I can just write and be ok with it,
but for some reason, this needed to be more than that. Sorry. Yeah that
probably sounded really dumb. But that's just how it was. I promise this
chapter will be longer than my other ones! I hope u all like this
chapter!!!!!
I would like to thank all my reviewers, and more specifically Smile, who is
the only one who has reviewed all of my chapters! Smile, I love u to
death!!!!
Thanks to all of u other reviewers!!! You guys make me want to keep
writing!!!!
~~~the story~~~
Rory left, she walked away, wanting to leave behind all memories of Jess and of Colin.
~~flashback~~
"Push" the doctor screamed at Rory
"NO." Rory screamed back
"PUSH!"
"NO, Not without him here."
Lorelai took her daughters hand, she felt so bad for her. The scene was a familiar one for Lorelai. She too had been in the delivery room, about to give birth, wanting to wait. Wanting to give the only person she had wanted to be there, a few more minutes. To give him another chance to come back and be a dad. Lorelai knew that Jess wasn't coming back, and Rory did too. But Rory wouldn't admit it; she wanted Jess to return so badly. Lorelai knew what Rory was going to do if Jess didn't show up. She didn't want Rory to give the baby up, but she knew how overwhelmed Rory felt. Rory was very strong in many ways, but Rory didn't have as strong of a heart anymore. Jess had weakened it so much that Lorelai doubted that Rory could handle being a single mother. Of course with Lorelai's help, the baby could remain a Gilmore, but the emotion of being a single mother, the pain, the sadness, the anger, those would be more than Rory could take. Of course there was love too, but in her current state, Rory had forgotten what true love felt like.
It got to the point that Rory could no longer hold back, she had to push, her baby had to be born. Rory pushed. She screamed out in pain as she did. 10 minutes and 3 pushes later, Colin Nickolas Gilmore was born. Rory herd him cry, and saw the doctors take him away. The nurse asked Rory if she wanted to hold the baby and at first, she had refused. After about twenty minutes, Rory couldn't handle it anymore; she wanted to hold her baby. She called for the nurse and had the baby brought in. He was wrapped in a light blue blanket, his head adorned with a little light blue hat. His skin was pale, as baby's skin often is, his peach fuzz like hair, was dark like Jess's. His eyes were blue like Rory's, only they were a slightly darker blue. Rory looked at the baby, she wanted to keep him, but she knew that she couldn't be the parent she wanted to be to him. She felt that a family with a mom AND a dad, would be better for her little boy. The baby stared up at her, Rory felt like he was examining her. Somehow Rory didn't think she amounted to enough.
~~~end flashback~~
Jess watched Rory walk away. He turned and walked toward the bridge. He sat on the old wood, staring at the calm water. Wishing his life could be as peaceful as that river. He whispered his sons name to himself again and again. Colin Nickolas, Colin Nickolas, Colin Nickolas. He now regretted having left Rory, more than he did before. He hadn't thought she would give the baby up. He hadn't thought that Lorelai would let her. But she had, and now he couldn't have his son. Then Jess realized that he had to see the baby. Doing the only thing he could think of, he went to ask Lorelai, and he knew where to find her.
He entered the dinner and scanned it for Lorelai. Jess found her sitting on a stool by the counter. Slowly, he approached her.
J-"Lorelai, before you kill me, please just listen."
Lorelai was in no mood to deal with Jess, but, for her daughters sake she would L-"What Jess?"
J-"Ok, I know Rory put the baby up for adoption, and, I want to see him."
L-"You could have don't that if you hadn't have left."
J-"I didn't think she would have given the baby up, Please Lorelai, all I need is the name of the people who adopted him."
L-"Michael and Kristi McDaniels."
The gratitude on Jess's face was unmistakable. J-"Thank you so much Lorelai, you don't have any idea how much you just helped me."
Lorelai looked at Jess. She wanted to hit him, and just then, just for a second, she wanted to hug him. Chris wouldn't have done that. If she had given Rory up, Chris would have left it at that, he would have been happy. Lorelai pondered for a second what she would have done if Chris had left like Jess had done. She would have kept Rory of course, but, things would have been different. She would have felt a lot more resentment toward Chris than she did now.
Jess grabbed a phonebook and looked up the name Lorelai had given him. When he had found it, he ripped the page from the book and got in his car. Jess flicked on the radio as he drove.
Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open
[Guitar Break]
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything...oh yeah
With arms wide open....wide open
Jess wished he had felt like that when Rory had told him she was pregnant. He wished that he could look at his little boy, and feel for him what the man in that song felt for his son. "I will make it up to you" Jess said aloud. "Colin, I will make it up to you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Coming next chapter
~~flashback~~ R-"Jess I'm pregnant."
Rory saw Jess approaching her. In his arms was a baby boy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Good? Bad? Useless??? Please tell me!!!
Oh, the names in this story (Colin, Kristi, and Michael) are all named after friends of mine. So, if you don't like the names, sorry! TOO BAD!
~~~the story~~~
Rory left, she walked away, wanting to leave behind all memories of Jess and of Colin.
~~flashback~~
"Push" the doctor screamed at Rory
"NO." Rory screamed back
"PUSH!"
"NO, Not without him here."
Lorelai took her daughters hand, she felt so bad for her. The scene was a familiar one for Lorelai. She too had been in the delivery room, about to give birth, wanting to wait. Wanting to give the only person she had wanted to be there, a few more minutes. To give him another chance to come back and be a dad. Lorelai knew that Jess wasn't coming back, and Rory did too. But Rory wouldn't admit it; she wanted Jess to return so badly. Lorelai knew what Rory was going to do if Jess didn't show up. She didn't want Rory to give the baby up, but she knew how overwhelmed Rory felt. Rory was very strong in many ways, but Rory didn't have as strong of a heart anymore. Jess had weakened it so much that Lorelai doubted that Rory could handle being a single mother. Of course with Lorelai's help, the baby could remain a Gilmore, but the emotion of being a single mother, the pain, the sadness, the anger, those would be more than Rory could take. Of course there was love too, but in her current state, Rory had forgotten what true love felt like.
It got to the point that Rory could no longer hold back, she had to push, her baby had to be born. Rory pushed. She screamed out in pain as she did. 10 minutes and 3 pushes later, Colin Nickolas Gilmore was born. Rory herd him cry, and saw the doctors take him away. The nurse asked Rory if she wanted to hold the baby and at first, she had refused. After about twenty minutes, Rory couldn't handle it anymore; she wanted to hold her baby. She called for the nurse and had the baby brought in. He was wrapped in a light blue blanket, his head adorned with a little light blue hat. His skin was pale, as baby's skin often is, his peach fuzz like hair, was dark like Jess's. His eyes were blue like Rory's, only they were a slightly darker blue. Rory looked at the baby, she wanted to keep him, but she knew that she couldn't be the parent she wanted to be to him. She felt that a family with a mom AND a dad, would be better for her little boy. The baby stared up at her, Rory felt like he was examining her. Somehow Rory didn't think she amounted to enough.
~~~end flashback~~
Jess watched Rory walk away. He turned and walked toward the bridge. He sat on the old wood, staring at the calm water. Wishing his life could be as peaceful as that river. He whispered his sons name to himself again and again. Colin Nickolas, Colin Nickolas, Colin Nickolas. He now regretted having left Rory, more than he did before. He hadn't thought she would give the baby up. He hadn't thought that Lorelai would let her. But she had, and now he couldn't have his son. Then Jess realized that he had to see the baby. Doing the only thing he could think of, he went to ask Lorelai, and he knew where to find her.
He entered the dinner and scanned it for Lorelai. Jess found her sitting on a stool by the counter. Slowly, he approached her.
J-"Lorelai, before you kill me, please just listen."
Lorelai was in no mood to deal with Jess, but, for her daughters sake she would L-"What Jess?"
J-"Ok, I know Rory put the baby up for adoption, and, I want to see him."
L-"You could have don't that if you hadn't have left."
J-"I didn't think she would have given the baby up, Please Lorelai, all I need is the name of the people who adopted him."
L-"Michael and Kristi McDaniels."
The gratitude on Jess's face was unmistakable. J-"Thank you so much Lorelai, you don't have any idea how much you just helped me."
Lorelai looked at Jess. She wanted to hit him, and just then, just for a second, she wanted to hug him. Chris wouldn't have done that. If she had given Rory up, Chris would have left it at that, he would have been happy. Lorelai pondered for a second what she would have done if Chris had left like Jess had done. She would have kept Rory of course, but, things would have been different. She would have felt a lot more resentment toward Chris than she did now.
Jess grabbed a phonebook and looked up the name Lorelai had given him. When he had found it, he ripped the page from the book and got in his car. Jess flicked on the radio as he drove.
Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open
[Guitar Break]
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything...oh yeah
With arms wide open....wide open
Jess wished he had felt like that when Rory had told him she was pregnant. He wished that he could look at his little boy, and feel for him what the man in that song felt for his son. "I will make it up to you" Jess said aloud. "Colin, I will make it up to you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Coming next chapter
~~flashback~~ R-"Jess I'm pregnant."
Rory saw Jess approaching her. In his arms was a baby boy - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Good? Bad? Useless??? Please tell me!!!
Oh, the names in this story (Colin, Kristi, and Michael) are all named after friends of mine. So, if you don't like the names, sorry! TOO BAD!