O_o Whoa, where have I been? In electronic hell of course!!! My
computer blew up and my hard drive was destroyed. No floppy and no zip
rive so everything I've ever written is gone forever, save for the things
I've downloaded on ff.net (Hallelujah). So. for those of you who asked for
the lemon about three months ago, I no longer have it. For those of you
who have a copy of the lemon saved can you send it to me?? Please (I be at
Hairyapechild@aol.com) Plus, the lemon in this chapter was deleted (I'm
pissed, it was a goood lemon) so I wont be e-mailing the lemon from this
chapter to anyone until I get the old lemon. This is because I'm not sure
which little juicy phrases I had in which lemon and I don't want to end up
writing the same thing twice. Sorry I've been gone; to make it up to
everyone I will be taking requests for new stories, lemons, or random
events in this story. Thanks everyone and I love ya! And now, our
feature presentation.
I wipe the sweat sloppily from my brow and try to slow my breathing. My mind and body are ablaze with the heat of the memory (A/N: the memory being the lemon which you all must wait for). Gods, I really think it was me that time . . . Zack would never have been so passive or so afraid, even if he loved Sephiroth too. It really might have been me. Sweat beads on my upper lip and I huddle in my blanket a little closer. The sun is up and I feel warmer, almost fevered. I feel sated after eating the food Vincent made. It was a pauper's meal, bread and water, but it was good bread and I was hungry. Vincent let the sun wash over him for a few moments as it ascended. He lay with his arms outstretched a little and most of his upper body exposed. It surprised me. He reminded me of Chaos at that moment, just because he seemed so vulnerable. I don't know why I think Chaos is helpless. I've seen him shred monsters in half and lick the viscera from his jaws. Maybe it's because I know Vincent is struggling for control.
"Cloud? Are you all right?"
"Yeah."
". . .You sure?"
"Let's see if our clothes are dry." I get up hastily, my blanket flung loosely about my shoulders, more because it's still cold than because I am ashamed of my nakedness. I am surprised that my skin aches and I realize that I've burned. Strange that the dead dryness of the desert spared my pale complexion, and it was here in the cold that I was burned. Still, I feel that I would rather have fire on me than ice. I approach the banks of the river timorously, almost afraid that my clothes are still sopping wet and icy. Only now am I able to see how faded my clothes are. I can scarcely fathom all that they've been through. Nibelheim, Midgar, Sephiroth, Meteor, Aeris. Everything. Vincent's clothes are not the bloody scarlet that so frightened me when I first met him. Still a deep red, only now more familiar and more beaten by the sun. I stretch my fingers out and feel the fabric of my shirt. Bone dry, I guess it doesn't take my clothes too long to dry because the fabric is so threadbare. Vincent's clothes are thicker but I do not see if they are dry, somehow it seems too personal. "They're dry. We can probably head out now." I have to yell and it makes me nervous. I wonder if Sephiroth felt nervous or strange whenever He had to call out.
I turn and watch Vincent rise slowly to his feet. His skin is seared too, I wonder if he notices. He does, and winces as he stands and turns to try to see how burned the skin on his back is. Vincent would look nice with a tan. Not so paltry or flaccid. He might even look healthy. I wonder if I look a little better, like I've been well fed and well-rested, and not so hopeless. I fold my blanket messily and toss it aside. I turn to see where my chocobo has wandered off to and see her grazing a short distance away. I slide on my boxers; they are worn to the point of translucency. I pull on my pants and shirt. I contemplate leaving my belt behind, but realize that it really isn't mine, so I grab it and buckle it at the waist. I hear Vincent dressing behind me, he sounds hurried. I clasp my Escort Guard around my wrists and put my shoulder armor in place. While it once seemed strange to take my armor off, it now feels weird to have it back, almost as if it grew heavier over the night. Vincent buckles and fastens his clothes into place before gathering up his blankets and turning to go reorganize his saddlebag. I'm grateful we still have a bottle of Cognac, though I wonder why he didn't buy more. Sephiroth used to drink a lot. If He didn't drink, He would never be able to sleep. I remember He would toss and turn and keep /me/ awake until I finally thrust a bottle of scotch at Him and let Him drink. He said if He could take a bullet in the ass, recover from a potentially fatal Yellow Fever, and still be strong enough to lead an assault on the forces of Wutai, then a little alcohol wouldn't hurt him. I guess He was right. It took Jenova to finally destroy Him. Tears raze my face in burning trails. I close my eyes and feel heat. Maybe I do have a fever. Maybe it's just the sunburn. Poor Sephiroth. I wonder if I was any help to Him, if I made it easier for Him to sleep or to cope with the every-day shit of Shin-Ra military life.
I throw the blanket over my bird and it warks disapprovingly. I've been neglecting the damned bird. I haven't brushed her in ages, and the feathers that lay beneath the saddle are twisted and matted. Its skin is red and irritated. "Sorry." I pet her neck and she seems momentarily pacified. I haven't really been feeding them well either. I should have had Vincent get some greens at Corel. I jump into the saddle. Riding no longer seems unfamiliar, it's actually relaxing now that I've gotten used to the jostling and the soreness. Vincent sidles his bird up beside me. He took one of the blacks; everyone seemed to agree that it suited him and no one objected. I have the only gold. I raced her for a while, and brushed her and pampered her for a long time. I've scarcely acknowledged her after the battle. He set off at a moderate pace. My mind wanders back to my memory. Me and Sephiroth, for a few sweet moments we were together. I close my eyes and remember his cheek pressed to mine and his hands on my sides. I smile, and realize Vincent is staring at me. We haven't gone far but I reign in my bird and dismount quickly. He follows without question and without hesitation. The birds look confused. I walk slowly to a nearby tree and sit beneath its shade. Don't want to be burned any more. Vincent seems to simply glide to my side. I feel giddy, almost happy knowing that for once it was /me/. But I just want to be sure. "I think that Sephiroth and I . . . I think he actually /wanted/ me for once."
"You think this was you?"
"Yeah. See, Zack wouldn't have been so afraid or so shy or so . . . pliant."
Vincent shakes his with a small smile.
"And, He was kind to me. He . . . did things for me that he didn't do for most other people. And. . . he said something strange." I fall into a thoughtful silence without really realizing it.
"What did he say?"
"Huh? Oh, He said . . . thank you, for showing Him what it was like to be . . . me. What do you think it means?"
"It could mean many things. Where and when did this happen?"
"In a bed-room, at night." Vincent's face remains stony. I guess I'm not funny. "I don't know. I remember there were stairs."
"Were there stairs on the way to his quarters?"
I close my eyes and try to imagine Sephiroth's office and the rest of his rooms. All very clean, very impersonal. No pictures, no paintings or art. There were books, all organized perfectly and devoid of dust. No stairs though.
"No, no stairs. I think we were on a mission."
"Nibelheim?"
" . . . Could have been. There are stairs in nearly every inn on the planet though. It could have been any mission or any where at all."
"I see." He falls silent and his eyes blaze and flicker with silent contemplation. "If this was at Nibelheim, he may have already known that he was not completely human. He might have said what he did because you showed him emotion. This seems far-fetched, but he did have certain . . . abilities, powers that put him beyond most mortal men. Perhaps he could read your thoughts."
"Yeah . . . that makes sense."
He stares at me and his eyes are as intense as hell-fire. "You seem almost euphoric."
I grin. I am. "He was with me, it may have only been that once, it may have been the first of many. But He was with me."
He turns his head towards the chocobos and his eyes glitter with unspoken melancholy.
"What is it?"
He sighs, but does not turn to face me when he speaks. "I don't mean to destroy your high spirits, but we still know nothing of your relationship with him. We don't know if he was really in love with you."
My grin fades and I turn my eyes toward the ground. He's right. Even still, that /had/ to have been me. I lock the memory deep into the recesses of my mind and embrace the bittersweet feeling of it. He loved me, maybe only for a few minutes but He loved me. I could feel it. "I guess we should go."
"Sorry. I should not have said anything."
"It's okay. Let's just try to get to Frog Forest by today." I whistle once and my bird trots toward me, seemingly eager to be off again. I'd think they would want to rest, but apparently not. We start again, this time a little faster. I can see the mountain looming in the distance now. I remember wondering about it before we ever went there. I thought maybe some ancient tribe of the Gi or some Nanakis all ran around on top of that mountain. I realize belatedly that I fucking /hate/ the frog forest. It's a pain in the ass. I guess it will be good for me to somewhere mentally and physically aggravating. I sigh and wish only to be back in my cave, alone and miserable.
***
//"Doin' good cloud. You'll be in SOLDIER before you can say Sexy Sephy."
I execute a special move that Zack learned from the Lieutenant General at the time, this is my third month taking Kung Fu lessons from Zack and I'm starting to get pretty good. "You really think so?"
"Hell yes. Now, lets try again and Ill show you something really cool."
I begin a complicated series of kicks and punches.
"What's the SOLDIER motto, cadet?"
"What doesn't kill you makes you strong enough to kill something else."
"Correct. What is the most prestigious platoon in 1st Class?"
"Dragon Squadron."
"Yup. Who commands Dragon Squadron?"
"Sexy Sephy." Now I'm supposed to do this throw. I manage it. I grab Zack by the upper arm, wedge myself beneath his torso, and use the momentum to send him down to the mat. He lets me do it.
"Good job. Now there's a devastating counter to that. Unblockable too. The General himself taught me this one. Do it one more time and Ill show you how it works. Go slow though so you can see what's going on."
I grab Zack by the arm and as I do, Zack pivots sideways so he is standing beside me. He moves extremely fast and even tough I know he would never hurt me, my instincts tell me to move and move quickly. I try retreating to the left and my face is met with Zack's impending elbow.
"Oh fuck, Cloud! You weren't supposed to move."
I drop to the mat and try to wipe the blood streaming from my nose. I groan.
"I'm sorry, Cloud. Here let me help you." He gently places his hands on the back of my neck and lifts my head. "Ow. I thought you said go slow."
"Sorry, babe. I thought I was."
He calls me babe sometimes, and I don't think he does it on purpose. I don't mind anymore. I don't think he'd ever do anything to me.
"Can you sit up?"
I sit up and my head is swimming. I don't feel too bad though. Zack's hands slide from the back of my neck down my back. He rubs his fingers in circular motions and speaks softly to me. I open my eyes and his face is near mine. His eyes are wide, candid, and beautiful. I always thought he had beautiful eyes, even when I was ashamed of such thoughts. They are a yellow-hazel rimmed with blue. I stare at his eyes, more so to watch the colors swirl than to make eye contact. He bows his head and I see the red- searing of a blush spread across his cheeks. "How come you look at me like that sometimes?"
"You have pretty eyes Zack. Didn't you know?"
"Yeah, I guess." His hands move back up to my neck and this time it is more of a caress. I feel like I should be tense or nervous, but I'm not. "You have pretty eyes too, Cloud." He brings his head back up and looks into my eyes. I half expect him to kiss me and I wonder what I would do. He's never done anything like this before, yet, it is not entirely unfamiliar. Almost as if I had dreams about this that I could never remember. He moves his face closer very slowly, watching me with anxious eyes, making sure I'm not too scared. I don't flinch or pull away. His lips press gently to my cheek and it is a nice feeling. Not wrong or evil, only comforting and warm. He presses his cheek to mine, avoiding the blood that's caked around my nose. He pulls me closer so slowly that I don't even realize he's doing it. I find myself seated in his lap and only then do I grow uneasy.
"Z-Zack. What are you doing?"
"Nothing, baby." He lets go of me and I move away. "Sorry." He looks sad.
"Zack, I don't understand."
He gets up and moves away without a word.
"Zack!"
He stops and his shoulders are tense and the muscles in his arms flex with some hidden rage. He rounds on me and now his eyes are all golden-anger and resentment. "Why is it that you can love Sephiroth but not me? Are we that different? Do you think if Sephiroth did that to you, you would tense up and resist? I just . . ." His voice grows soft and he closes his burning eyes. "I just want to know why you are still afraid of me."
I remain silent, trying to be adult and reasonable. I realize he's right, that I can't be afraid of other men if I ever want to be with Sephiroth. "I didn't know that you wanted me."
"I do. But Cloud I want /all/ of you. I'd never take advantage of you or hurt you. You know that, don't you?"
"Yeah." I crack a smile.
He smiles back. His grin is lunatic-luminescent. "So you wanna grab something to eat?"
"You mean like a date?"
He laughs. "Yeah, like a date."//
"Better make sure nothing's loose on your bird. The paths are treacherous up ahead."
I nod, still thinking of Zack and wondering why I didn't let myself enjoy what he was offered me. I absently repack all of my things. The booze, the twine, the stupid ass journal and pen. I resituate the saddle on my bird and pet her on the neck while I wait for Vincent to organize all his shit. I wonder if obsessive organization skills were a pre-requisite for being a Turk. Then again, Reno didn't seem too big on tidiness. Oh well.
"What's on your mind?"
"Zack . . . and Reno."
He stands up and looks me squarely in the face. "Zack dated Reno?"
I laugh. "No no. I was just thinking of Zack and missing him. Then I started wondering if all Turks had to be organized. Reno seemed sloppy."
"Yes, he did. What did you remember about Zack?"
"Not much. Just the first time he kissed me."
Vincent's eyes seem to smile.
"Zack seemed angry that I could love Sephiroth but not him. Maybe . . ." I don't want to finish talking. It seems stupid.
"Maybe Zack loved you more than he loved Sephiroth."
I turn to stare at Vincent who is trying to unsmash a loaf of bread. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Maybe . . . he was helping me so that . . . no, it's stupid."
"So that he could spend time with you." Vincent finishes packing and turns to stare at me.
"He had an army of people to choose from. I don't think he would have lusted so heavily after me." I hop back onto my bird and start moving. The paths are treacherous; I go slowly.
"I believe it is a distinct possibility."
"But, all those memories. I was /so/ in love with Him."
Vincent doesn't say anything. He is thinking though. I can tell. He follows me and walks just behind me, letting me lead us to where I might finally make a home. I haven't had a home since I left Nibelheim, not a real one. Maybe I can finally be somewhere I can call my own, where I don't have to worry about anything but myself. Just like Vincent says.
The trip is uneventful and bumpy as hell. It is past midnight before we finally reach the entrance of the forest.
"Rest now, Cloud. Ill keep watch." Holy only got rid of Mako monsters. The creatures in the frog forest are natural and still deadly as any perverted contortion of evolution. Vincent sits at my feet when I lie down, his gun resting over his shoulder. I try to turn so I'm not sleeping on my sunburn and only manage to wedge myself in an uncomfortable position. I still find sleep though. The heat of the sun can make almost anyone sleep. And I dream.
//Zack is watching me. I smile at him and he smiles back. His eyes look hungry and I blush. It was too hot in the dorms, especially when you sleep two to a bed. So we went swimming in the pool, even though it was past curfew. Zack threw me in did a few cannon balls then claimed it would take three plus hours for his hair to dry so he'd better start now. I continued to swim for a little while longer, all the time acutely aware to Zack's penetrating gaze. His eyes glow like a cat's eyes. Zack took me back to his rooms after we finished eating that one day about a week ago. He kissed me, held me, and petted me, nothing else though. I was nervous, but now . . . now I'm starting to wonder what it would be like to have him inside me. I know that he wants me too. He even told me so but said that we'd wait until I was ready. Zack is beautiful; I can acknowledge that now. He has a beautiful body with toffee skin. He tastes sweet and kisses sweet too. Maybe . . . maybe I am ready. I do want him. Who cares if it's not right? Everyone else does it.
"Hey gorgeous," he says to me as I wipe my hair off with a towel.
"Hey."
He doesn't say anything else, just watches me.
"Let's go to bed now."
"Okay." He stands and saunters of towards the dorms.
I walk behind him and I want to reach an arm around him to grab his hip but I hesitate too long and he starts talking.
"Did you have fun?"
"Yeah." I can't quite figure out how to tell him I want him. "Does it hurt?"
He looks at me with concern-filled eyes. "Does what hurt?"
I shrug and try to sound nonchalant. "Sex."
He stops walking and nearly tumbles to the ground. "Uhhhh . . . o-only at first."
"Okay, doesn't sound too bad. Just tell me what to do and Ill do it."
"Cloud, you don't have to."
"I want to."
He starts walking again. "Okay." His voice is a hoarse whisper. He stops again, grabs me by the waist, and kisses me hard on the lips. He lifts me entirely off the ground, my feet dangle, and he squeezes me. He laughs as he puts me back down on the ground. Quite suddenly, he yanks on my swimming trunks and takes off running. I stand there dripping naked with my shorts around my ankles and watch his retreating form. I'm glad I met Zack.//
A/N: Do we want two lemons for this chapter??? I could make it happen. Please review and I hope someone can send me a copy of the chapt. 3 lemon soon so that way I can get out this chapters lemon. Sorry if I keep switching the gender of Cloud's chocobo, sorry I haven't named it either but when I played, I named the golden chocobo
Crappo and I didn't think it was appropriate for the story.
[pic]
I wipe the sweat sloppily from my brow and try to slow my breathing. My mind and body are ablaze with the heat of the memory (A/N: the memory being the lemon which you all must wait for). Gods, I really think it was me that time . . . Zack would never have been so passive or so afraid, even if he loved Sephiroth too. It really might have been me. Sweat beads on my upper lip and I huddle in my blanket a little closer. The sun is up and I feel warmer, almost fevered. I feel sated after eating the food Vincent made. It was a pauper's meal, bread and water, but it was good bread and I was hungry. Vincent let the sun wash over him for a few moments as it ascended. He lay with his arms outstretched a little and most of his upper body exposed. It surprised me. He reminded me of Chaos at that moment, just because he seemed so vulnerable. I don't know why I think Chaos is helpless. I've seen him shred monsters in half and lick the viscera from his jaws. Maybe it's because I know Vincent is struggling for control.
"Cloud? Are you all right?"
"Yeah."
". . .You sure?"
"Let's see if our clothes are dry." I get up hastily, my blanket flung loosely about my shoulders, more because it's still cold than because I am ashamed of my nakedness. I am surprised that my skin aches and I realize that I've burned. Strange that the dead dryness of the desert spared my pale complexion, and it was here in the cold that I was burned. Still, I feel that I would rather have fire on me than ice. I approach the banks of the river timorously, almost afraid that my clothes are still sopping wet and icy. Only now am I able to see how faded my clothes are. I can scarcely fathom all that they've been through. Nibelheim, Midgar, Sephiroth, Meteor, Aeris. Everything. Vincent's clothes are not the bloody scarlet that so frightened me when I first met him. Still a deep red, only now more familiar and more beaten by the sun. I stretch my fingers out and feel the fabric of my shirt. Bone dry, I guess it doesn't take my clothes too long to dry because the fabric is so threadbare. Vincent's clothes are thicker but I do not see if they are dry, somehow it seems too personal. "They're dry. We can probably head out now." I have to yell and it makes me nervous. I wonder if Sephiroth felt nervous or strange whenever He had to call out.
I turn and watch Vincent rise slowly to his feet. His skin is seared too, I wonder if he notices. He does, and winces as he stands and turns to try to see how burned the skin on his back is. Vincent would look nice with a tan. Not so paltry or flaccid. He might even look healthy. I wonder if I look a little better, like I've been well fed and well-rested, and not so hopeless. I fold my blanket messily and toss it aside. I turn to see where my chocobo has wandered off to and see her grazing a short distance away. I slide on my boxers; they are worn to the point of translucency. I pull on my pants and shirt. I contemplate leaving my belt behind, but realize that it really isn't mine, so I grab it and buckle it at the waist. I hear Vincent dressing behind me, he sounds hurried. I clasp my Escort Guard around my wrists and put my shoulder armor in place. While it once seemed strange to take my armor off, it now feels weird to have it back, almost as if it grew heavier over the night. Vincent buckles and fastens his clothes into place before gathering up his blankets and turning to go reorganize his saddlebag. I'm grateful we still have a bottle of Cognac, though I wonder why he didn't buy more. Sephiroth used to drink a lot. If He didn't drink, He would never be able to sleep. I remember He would toss and turn and keep /me/ awake until I finally thrust a bottle of scotch at Him and let Him drink. He said if He could take a bullet in the ass, recover from a potentially fatal Yellow Fever, and still be strong enough to lead an assault on the forces of Wutai, then a little alcohol wouldn't hurt him. I guess He was right. It took Jenova to finally destroy Him. Tears raze my face in burning trails. I close my eyes and feel heat. Maybe I do have a fever. Maybe it's just the sunburn. Poor Sephiroth. I wonder if I was any help to Him, if I made it easier for Him to sleep or to cope with the every-day shit of Shin-Ra military life.
I throw the blanket over my bird and it warks disapprovingly. I've been neglecting the damned bird. I haven't brushed her in ages, and the feathers that lay beneath the saddle are twisted and matted. Its skin is red and irritated. "Sorry." I pet her neck and she seems momentarily pacified. I haven't really been feeding them well either. I should have had Vincent get some greens at Corel. I jump into the saddle. Riding no longer seems unfamiliar, it's actually relaxing now that I've gotten used to the jostling and the soreness. Vincent sidles his bird up beside me. He took one of the blacks; everyone seemed to agree that it suited him and no one objected. I have the only gold. I raced her for a while, and brushed her and pampered her for a long time. I've scarcely acknowledged her after the battle. He set off at a moderate pace. My mind wanders back to my memory. Me and Sephiroth, for a few sweet moments we were together. I close my eyes and remember his cheek pressed to mine and his hands on my sides. I smile, and realize Vincent is staring at me. We haven't gone far but I reign in my bird and dismount quickly. He follows without question and without hesitation. The birds look confused. I walk slowly to a nearby tree and sit beneath its shade. Don't want to be burned any more. Vincent seems to simply glide to my side. I feel giddy, almost happy knowing that for once it was /me/. But I just want to be sure. "I think that Sephiroth and I . . . I think he actually /wanted/ me for once."
"You think this was you?"
"Yeah. See, Zack wouldn't have been so afraid or so shy or so . . . pliant."
Vincent shakes his with a small smile.
"And, He was kind to me. He . . . did things for me that he didn't do for most other people. And. . . he said something strange." I fall into a thoughtful silence without really realizing it.
"What did he say?"
"Huh? Oh, He said . . . thank you, for showing Him what it was like to be . . . me. What do you think it means?"
"It could mean many things. Where and when did this happen?"
"In a bed-room, at night." Vincent's face remains stony. I guess I'm not funny. "I don't know. I remember there were stairs."
"Were there stairs on the way to his quarters?"
I close my eyes and try to imagine Sephiroth's office and the rest of his rooms. All very clean, very impersonal. No pictures, no paintings or art. There were books, all organized perfectly and devoid of dust. No stairs though.
"No, no stairs. I think we were on a mission."
"Nibelheim?"
" . . . Could have been. There are stairs in nearly every inn on the planet though. It could have been any mission or any where at all."
"I see." He falls silent and his eyes blaze and flicker with silent contemplation. "If this was at Nibelheim, he may have already known that he was not completely human. He might have said what he did because you showed him emotion. This seems far-fetched, but he did have certain . . . abilities, powers that put him beyond most mortal men. Perhaps he could read your thoughts."
"Yeah . . . that makes sense."
He stares at me and his eyes are as intense as hell-fire. "You seem almost euphoric."
I grin. I am. "He was with me, it may have only been that once, it may have been the first of many. But He was with me."
He turns his head towards the chocobos and his eyes glitter with unspoken melancholy.
"What is it?"
He sighs, but does not turn to face me when he speaks. "I don't mean to destroy your high spirits, but we still know nothing of your relationship with him. We don't know if he was really in love with you."
My grin fades and I turn my eyes toward the ground. He's right. Even still, that /had/ to have been me. I lock the memory deep into the recesses of my mind and embrace the bittersweet feeling of it. He loved me, maybe only for a few minutes but He loved me. I could feel it. "I guess we should go."
"Sorry. I should not have said anything."
"It's okay. Let's just try to get to Frog Forest by today." I whistle once and my bird trots toward me, seemingly eager to be off again. I'd think they would want to rest, but apparently not. We start again, this time a little faster. I can see the mountain looming in the distance now. I remember wondering about it before we ever went there. I thought maybe some ancient tribe of the Gi or some Nanakis all ran around on top of that mountain. I realize belatedly that I fucking /hate/ the frog forest. It's a pain in the ass. I guess it will be good for me to somewhere mentally and physically aggravating. I sigh and wish only to be back in my cave, alone and miserable.
***
//"Doin' good cloud. You'll be in SOLDIER before you can say Sexy Sephy."
I execute a special move that Zack learned from the Lieutenant General at the time, this is my third month taking Kung Fu lessons from Zack and I'm starting to get pretty good. "You really think so?"
"Hell yes. Now, lets try again and Ill show you something really cool."
I begin a complicated series of kicks and punches.
"What's the SOLDIER motto, cadet?"
"What doesn't kill you makes you strong enough to kill something else."
"Correct. What is the most prestigious platoon in 1st Class?"
"Dragon Squadron."
"Yup. Who commands Dragon Squadron?"
"Sexy Sephy." Now I'm supposed to do this throw. I manage it. I grab Zack by the upper arm, wedge myself beneath his torso, and use the momentum to send him down to the mat. He lets me do it.
"Good job. Now there's a devastating counter to that. Unblockable too. The General himself taught me this one. Do it one more time and Ill show you how it works. Go slow though so you can see what's going on."
I grab Zack by the arm and as I do, Zack pivots sideways so he is standing beside me. He moves extremely fast and even tough I know he would never hurt me, my instincts tell me to move and move quickly. I try retreating to the left and my face is met with Zack's impending elbow.
"Oh fuck, Cloud! You weren't supposed to move."
I drop to the mat and try to wipe the blood streaming from my nose. I groan.
"I'm sorry, Cloud. Here let me help you." He gently places his hands on the back of my neck and lifts my head. "Ow. I thought you said go slow."
"Sorry, babe. I thought I was."
He calls me babe sometimes, and I don't think he does it on purpose. I don't mind anymore. I don't think he'd ever do anything to me.
"Can you sit up?"
I sit up and my head is swimming. I don't feel too bad though. Zack's hands slide from the back of my neck down my back. He rubs his fingers in circular motions and speaks softly to me. I open my eyes and his face is near mine. His eyes are wide, candid, and beautiful. I always thought he had beautiful eyes, even when I was ashamed of such thoughts. They are a yellow-hazel rimmed with blue. I stare at his eyes, more so to watch the colors swirl than to make eye contact. He bows his head and I see the red- searing of a blush spread across his cheeks. "How come you look at me like that sometimes?"
"You have pretty eyes Zack. Didn't you know?"
"Yeah, I guess." His hands move back up to my neck and this time it is more of a caress. I feel like I should be tense or nervous, but I'm not. "You have pretty eyes too, Cloud." He brings his head back up and looks into my eyes. I half expect him to kiss me and I wonder what I would do. He's never done anything like this before, yet, it is not entirely unfamiliar. Almost as if I had dreams about this that I could never remember. He moves his face closer very slowly, watching me with anxious eyes, making sure I'm not too scared. I don't flinch or pull away. His lips press gently to my cheek and it is a nice feeling. Not wrong or evil, only comforting and warm. He presses his cheek to mine, avoiding the blood that's caked around my nose. He pulls me closer so slowly that I don't even realize he's doing it. I find myself seated in his lap and only then do I grow uneasy.
"Z-Zack. What are you doing?"
"Nothing, baby." He lets go of me and I move away. "Sorry." He looks sad.
"Zack, I don't understand."
He gets up and moves away without a word.
"Zack!"
He stops and his shoulders are tense and the muscles in his arms flex with some hidden rage. He rounds on me and now his eyes are all golden-anger and resentment. "Why is it that you can love Sephiroth but not me? Are we that different? Do you think if Sephiroth did that to you, you would tense up and resist? I just . . ." His voice grows soft and he closes his burning eyes. "I just want to know why you are still afraid of me."
I remain silent, trying to be adult and reasonable. I realize he's right, that I can't be afraid of other men if I ever want to be with Sephiroth. "I didn't know that you wanted me."
"I do. But Cloud I want /all/ of you. I'd never take advantage of you or hurt you. You know that, don't you?"
"Yeah." I crack a smile.
He smiles back. His grin is lunatic-luminescent. "So you wanna grab something to eat?"
"You mean like a date?"
He laughs. "Yeah, like a date."//
"Better make sure nothing's loose on your bird. The paths are treacherous up ahead."
I nod, still thinking of Zack and wondering why I didn't let myself enjoy what he was offered me. I absently repack all of my things. The booze, the twine, the stupid ass journal and pen. I resituate the saddle on my bird and pet her on the neck while I wait for Vincent to organize all his shit. I wonder if obsessive organization skills were a pre-requisite for being a Turk. Then again, Reno didn't seem too big on tidiness. Oh well.
"What's on your mind?"
"Zack . . . and Reno."
He stands up and looks me squarely in the face. "Zack dated Reno?"
I laugh. "No no. I was just thinking of Zack and missing him. Then I started wondering if all Turks had to be organized. Reno seemed sloppy."
"Yes, he did. What did you remember about Zack?"
"Not much. Just the first time he kissed me."
Vincent's eyes seem to smile.
"Zack seemed angry that I could love Sephiroth but not him. Maybe . . ." I don't want to finish talking. It seems stupid.
"Maybe Zack loved you more than he loved Sephiroth."
I turn to stare at Vincent who is trying to unsmash a loaf of bread. "Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Maybe . . . he was helping me so that . . . no, it's stupid."
"So that he could spend time with you." Vincent finishes packing and turns to stare at me.
"He had an army of people to choose from. I don't think he would have lusted so heavily after me." I hop back onto my bird and start moving. The paths are treacherous; I go slowly.
"I believe it is a distinct possibility."
"But, all those memories. I was /so/ in love with Him."
Vincent doesn't say anything. He is thinking though. I can tell. He follows me and walks just behind me, letting me lead us to where I might finally make a home. I haven't had a home since I left Nibelheim, not a real one. Maybe I can finally be somewhere I can call my own, where I don't have to worry about anything but myself. Just like Vincent says.
The trip is uneventful and bumpy as hell. It is past midnight before we finally reach the entrance of the forest.
"Rest now, Cloud. Ill keep watch." Holy only got rid of Mako monsters. The creatures in the frog forest are natural and still deadly as any perverted contortion of evolution. Vincent sits at my feet when I lie down, his gun resting over his shoulder. I try to turn so I'm not sleeping on my sunburn and only manage to wedge myself in an uncomfortable position. I still find sleep though. The heat of the sun can make almost anyone sleep. And I dream.
//Zack is watching me. I smile at him and he smiles back. His eyes look hungry and I blush. It was too hot in the dorms, especially when you sleep two to a bed. So we went swimming in the pool, even though it was past curfew. Zack threw me in did a few cannon balls then claimed it would take three plus hours for his hair to dry so he'd better start now. I continued to swim for a little while longer, all the time acutely aware to Zack's penetrating gaze. His eyes glow like a cat's eyes. Zack took me back to his rooms after we finished eating that one day about a week ago. He kissed me, held me, and petted me, nothing else though. I was nervous, but now . . . now I'm starting to wonder what it would be like to have him inside me. I know that he wants me too. He even told me so but said that we'd wait until I was ready. Zack is beautiful; I can acknowledge that now. He has a beautiful body with toffee skin. He tastes sweet and kisses sweet too. Maybe . . . maybe I am ready. I do want him. Who cares if it's not right? Everyone else does it.
"Hey gorgeous," he says to me as I wipe my hair off with a towel.
"Hey."
He doesn't say anything else, just watches me.
"Let's go to bed now."
"Okay." He stands and saunters of towards the dorms.
I walk behind him and I want to reach an arm around him to grab his hip but I hesitate too long and he starts talking.
"Did you have fun?"
"Yeah." I can't quite figure out how to tell him I want him. "Does it hurt?"
He looks at me with concern-filled eyes. "Does what hurt?"
I shrug and try to sound nonchalant. "Sex."
He stops walking and nearly tumbles to the ground. "Uhhhh . . . o-only at first."
"Okay, doesn't sound too bad. Just tell me what to do and Ill do it."
"Cloud, you don't have to."
"I want to."
He starts walking again. "Okay." His voice is a hoarse whisper. He stops again, grabs me by the waist, and kisses me hard on the lips. He lifts me entirely off the ground, my feet dangle, and he squeezes me. He laughs as he puts me back down on the ground. Quite suddenly, he yanks on my swimming trunks and takes off running. I stand there dripping naked with my shorts around my ankles and watch his retreating form. I'm glad I met Zack.//
A/N: Do we want two lemons for this chapter??? I could make it happen. Please review and I hope someone can send me a copy of the chapt. 3 lemon soon so that way I can get out this chapters lemon. Sorry if I keep switching the gender of Cloud's chocobo, sorry I haven't named it either but when I played, I named the golden chocobo
Crappo and I didn't think it was appropriate for the story.
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