Fred and the others rushed to help Angel, who now lay unconscious on the floor.
"Angel! Angel, are you okay?" Wesley shouted at Angel's still form, tapping him.
"What was that?" Fred asked, worried.
Lorne shook his head. "No mojo I know. But whatever it was, it--"
"God!" Angel said, sitting up. "Is that all you people ever do? Talk and use logic? No wonder you're getting screwed over by an evil law firm."
Spike backed away from Angel, eyes wide. "You're... you're..."
"That's right, Willy. Cute get up, by the way." Spike glared, and Angelus looked down at himself. "Crap," he muttered. "I kinda hoped the puppet thing would go away along with the soul."
"Angelus," Fred whispered, horrified.
Angelus smirked. "The one and only. Turns out a puppy and a beer is just as fulfilling as getting laid in Angel's mind. Funny guy, he is."
"Fred, take Spike and leave," Wesley said, not taking his eyes off of Angelus.
Fred got up. "You don't have to tell me twice."
"Hey, wait!" Spike said indignantly. "Why do I have to leave?"
"Um, sorry about that. I meant Spike the puppy, Fred."
"Okay," Fred said, but then shrieked and fell to the ground when Angelus jumped her.
"Mmm," Angelus sighed happily, pinning her to the floor. "Aren't you the warm, sweet one." Angelus vamped out, pushed Spike and Wesley away with all his evil vampire strength as they tried to stop him, and then sank his teeth into the soft flesh of Fred's neck.
Or at least tried to.
Fred's whimpers of fear soon became giggles. "Stop, stop, that tickles!" she breathed as Angelus gnawed on her neck. He drew back from her, surprised.
"What? Why can't I...?"
"Felt," Fred said simply, as though she was not talking to the saem vampire that tried to kill her many times last year. "You're all made of felt, Angel... us. Even your fangs."
Angelus groaned, standing up.
"Okay," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is not cool."
Wesley, who left to get something when he realized Angelus was, for lack of a better word, harmless, snuck up behind Angelus and put a large piece of duct tape on his mouth.
"Spike--and this time I mean the vampire--could you please keep an eye on Angelus while we go contact Willow?"
Spike smirked. "Sure thing, mate." Wesley handed him some chains to bind Angelus with. Angelus glared and tried to flip them off, but then realized, having only four fingers, he didn't have a middle one.
"This. sucks," he grumbled, but all the others heard was "Mmf. mmuf."
"We'll be right back," Wesley said, leaving the office. Fred picked up Spike--the puppy--and she and Lorne followed Wesley.
"Looks like it's just me and you, da." Angelus raised an eyebrow.
"You know, I don't think I've seen you since Sunnydale, where you were in your 'die-Buffy-die' mode and stealing my girlfriend. And that was, what, six years ago? Huh. It's funny, because I still want to beat the crap out of you for that." Angelus raised his other eyebrow and Spiek put his hands on his hips.
"Would you stop that?! It's bloody annoying!"
Smirking behind the duct tape, Angelus lowered an eyebrow, the other still up.
"Stop!" Spike shouted, upset. And, of course, up went the eyebrow again.
"ARGH!" Spike jumped Angelus.
"MMF!"
--approxiamtely 4.2 minutes later--
"Where's Angelus?" Wesley said as soon as he stepped into Angel's office.
"Took care of him," Spike said gruffly, watching Smile Time on Angel's TV (it was a repeat).
"Oh god," Fred said, stepping forward. "You didn't...?"
"Pfft, no." Spike rolled his eyes. "I just stuffed him in the closet."
Wesley's facial expression was a combination of bewilderment and bemusement. "Why...?"
"Apparently Captain Peroxide has something against eyebrows!" Angelus yelled from his closet.
"Bugger, he got the tape off. So what's the deal with Red?"
"She said she's going to come here tomorrow," Fred said, and then to the closet, "You here that? In less than 24 hours you're getting your soul back, bub!"
"I might as well," Angelus said grumpily. "Because being a homicidal vampire trapped in the body of a puppet sucks."
"Can we lock him up in one of the cages tonight?" Spike almost begged, desperate to get rid of his grandsire.
"Can't," Wesley said. "He can fit through all the bars. I'll stay here and watch him." Wesley opened the door to the closet and dragged Angelus, his amrs and legs still bound, out of it.
"Aw, I'm touched, Wes. Still trying to get on Angel's good side, are you? You know he'll never forgive you."
"For what?" Wesley asked, frowning.
"For stealing his kid, duh."
"What are you talking about?"
"Connor? You know, Angel and Darla's son?"
"If this is some sort of joke..." Fred warned.
"Wait, I know why you're all clueless. Well, more clueless, anyway. Angel had Wolfram and Hart erase your Connor memories. Sneaky bastard."
"I think," Wesley said, pulling a gun out from nowhere and pointing it at Angelus. "That you better explain yourself. Now."
Angelus looked surprised. "You'd shoot a puppet? You are one sick, twisted British man."
Wesley, unfazed, clicked off the safety.
"All right, fine!" Angelus yelled. He glared at Wesley and pointed to Angel's desk. "In the top drawer there's a key to the storage room, which I think is where your memories are."
Wesley got the key while Spike kept a close eye on Angelus.
Staring hard at Angelus, Wesley began, "If you're telling the truth..."
"I am telling the truth!" Angelus insisted, then added, "But only because I want to make all your lives miserable."
Wesley sighed. "Let's go, then. Spike, will you watch Angelus?"
"What? Oh, yeah, sure," Spike said without turning his head away from Smile Time.
Wesley, although not very trusting of Spike's babysitting capabilities, left the room with Fred.
TO BE CONTINUED...
"Angel! Angel, are you okay?" Wesley shouted at Angel's still form, tapping him.
"What was that?" Fred asked, worried.
Lorne shook his head. "No mojo I know. But whatever it was, it--"
"God!" Angel said, sitting up. "Is that all you people ever do? Talk and use logic? No wonder you're getting screwed over by an evil law firm."
Spike backed away from Angel, eyes wide. "You're... you're..."
"That's right, Willy. Cute get up, by the way." Spike glared, and Angelus looked down at himself. "Crap," he muttered. "I kinda hoped the puppet thing would go away along with the soul."
"Angelus," Fred whispered, horrified.
Angelus smirked. "The one and only. Turns out a puppy and a beer is just as fulfilling as getting laid in Angel's mind. Funny guy, he is."
"Fred, take Spike and leave," Wesley said, not taking his eyes off of Angelus.
Fred got up. "You don't have to tell me twice."
"Hey, wait!" Spike said indignantly. "Why do I have to leave?"
"Um, sorry about that. I meant Spike the puppy, Fred."
"Okay," Fred said, but then shrieked and fell to the ground when Angelus jumped her.
"Mmm," Angelus sighed happily, pinning her to the floor. "Aren't you the warm, sweet one." Angelus vamped out, pushed Spike and Wesley away with all his evil vampire strength as they tried to stop him, and then sank his teeth into the soft flesh of Fred's neck.
Or at least tried to.
Fred's whimpers of fear soon became giggles. "Stop, stop, that tickles!" she breathed as Angelus gnawed on her neck. He drew back from her, surprised.
"What? Why can't I...?"
"Felt," Fred said simply, as though she was not talking to the saem vampire that tried to kill her many times last year. "You're all made of felt, Angel... us. Even your fangs."
Angelus groaned, standing up.
"Okay," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is not cool."
Wesley, who left to get something when he realized Angelus was, for lack of a better word, harmless, snuck up behind Angelus and put a large piece of duct tape on his mouth.
"Spike--and this time I mean the vampire--could you please keep an eye on Angelus while we go contact Willow?"
Spike smirked. "Sure thing, mate." Wesley handed him some chains to bind Angelus with. Angelus glared and tried to flip them off, but then realized, having only four fingers, he didn't have a middle one.
"This. sucks," he grumbled, but all the others heard was "Mmf. mmuf."
"We'll be right back," Wesley said, leaving the office. Fred picked up Spike--the puppy--and she and Lorne followed Wesley.
"Looks like it's just me and you, da." Angelus raised an eyebrow.
"You know, I don't think I've seen you since Sunnydale, where you were in your 'die-Buffy-die' mode and stealing my girlfriend. And that was, what, six years ago? Huh. It's funny, because I still want to beat the crap out of you for that." Angelus raised his other eyebrow and Spiek put his hands on his hips.
"Would you stop that?! It's bloody annoying!"
Smirking behind the duct tape, Angelus lowered an eyebrow, the other still up.
"Stop!" Spike shouted, upset. And, of course, up went the eyebrow again.
"ARGH!" Spike jumped Angelus.
"MMF!"
--approxiamtely 4.2 minutes later--
"Where's Angelus?" Wesley said as soon as he stepped into Angel's office.
"Took care of him," Spike said gruffly, watching Smile Time on Angel's TV (it was a repeat).
"Oh god," Fred said, stepping forward. "You didn't...?"
"Pfft, no." Spike rolled his eyes. "I just stuffed him in the closet."
Wesley's facial expression was a combination of bewilderment and bemusement. "Why...?"
"Apparently Captain Peroxide has something against eyebrows!" Angelus yelled from his closet.
"Bugger, he got the tape off. So what's the deal with Red?"
"She said she's going to come here tomorrow," Fred said, and then to the closet, "You here that? In less than 24 hours you're getting your soul back, bub!"
"I might as well," Angelus said grumpily. "Because being a homicidal vampire trapped in the body of a puppet sucks."
"Can we lock him up in one of the cages tonight?" Spike almost begged, desperate to get rid of his grandsire.
"Can't," Wesley said. "He can fit through all the bars. I'll stay here and watch him." Wesley opened the door to the closet and dragged Angelus, his amrs and legs still bound, out of it.
"Aw, I'm touched, Wes. Still trying to get on Angel's good side, are you? You know he'll never forgive you."
"For what?" Wesley asked, frowning.
"For stealing his kid, duh."
"What are you talking about?"
"Connor? You know, Angel and Darla's son?"
"If this is some sort of joke..." Fred warned.
"Wait, I know why you're all clueless. Well, more clueless, anyway. Angel had Wolfram and Hart erase your Connor memories. Sneaky bastard."
"I think," Wesley said, pulling a gun out from nowhere and pointing it at Angelus. "That you better explain yourself. Now."
Angelus looked surprised. "You'd shoot a puppet? You are one sick, twisted British man."
Wesley, unfazed, clicked off the safety.
"All right, fine!" Angelus yelled. He glared at Wesley and pointed to Angel's desk. "In the top drawer there's a key to the storage room, which I think is where your memories are."
Wesley got the key while Spike kept a close eye on Angelus.
Staring hard at Angelus, Wesley began, "If you're telling the truth..."
"I am telling the truth!" Angelus insisted, then added, "But only because I want to make all your lives miserable."
Wesley sighed. "Let's go, then. Spike, will you watch Angelus?"
"What? Oh, yeah, sure," Spike said without turning his head away from Smile Time.
Wesley, although not very trusting of Spike's babysitting capabilities, left the room with Fred.
TO BE CONTINUED...