ATTENTION: I will no longer be sending out emails to people when I've updated, unless you actually ask me too – this is mainly because ff.net has this service available, and also because it's impossible to update the list when people stop reading, or don't want it and forget to tell me … I think it will work easier if you just enable author alerts and put me on the list.
Thank you.
In Every Darkness
Chapter Eighty Eight
9.2.1997
"Well Tatsu, it would seem that this is, again, goodbye," Hanako smiled slightly at the Englishman.
"For a short time only," Tatsu replied, bowing.
The Modifiers had finished their work now, and would be returning to Japan in half an hours time. Tatsu would miss them, somewhat, but it would not be long till the week-long Easter holiday, when Neko had promised to visit again.
Hanako bowed. "Don't stay away too long," she ordered him, smiling slightly, "You might learn bad habits."
"I doubt it," Tatsu assured her. "But I will return to Japan whenever I can. That I can promise, though how long I will stay will remain unknown."
Hanako nodded and walked away. Tatsu had already farewelled most of his friends among the Modifiers, now only Neko remained.
"Well, Tatsu, there's no need for sad goodbyes, I'll be coming back soon enough … perhaps for good."
They'd talked about this over the last few days. Neko had enjoyed being in England, and hanging with Tatsu and Harry – now she was thinking of moving in with them on Privet Drive during the summer holidays.
"Perhaps, and I hope so," Tatsu agreed with a smile. "Take care of yourself, Neko, until our next meeting."
"Don't let Harry fall behind on the katana, Tatsu, or I'll have to re-teach him when I return," Neko warned, smiling.
"Of course not," Tatsu pretended to be furious with the very idea of this, and they both laughed and embraced. "Till we next meet," Tatsu said softly.
Neko only nodded, not speaking. Tatsu saw the traces of tears in her eyes, and completely understood her silence.
He stood to one side of the steps of Hogwarts, as the students came milling out of the school, all in full uniform, and formed ranks in front of the castle, first years at front, going back to seventh years.
Tatsu could see Harry standing, a few ranks ahead, eyes to the front, appearing calm, but he knew that if he were to attack the young boy, he would be in for a challenge, no matter how unprepared he was.
On cue, the whole school spoke out together, thanking the Modifiers for their efforts, and saying that they were welcome back again.
After that, the Modifiers took their leave by Portkey, and the school students disintegrated, and the teachers wondered off to finish whatever it was that they had to do – most likely marking endless rounds of tests and assignments that they insisted on giving for homework.
"Harry, could I talk to you?" Tatsu stopped his young ward before the boy could go very far.
"Of course, I'll see you at the library in a minute guys," Harry said to his friends, who nodded and headed on inside.
"Harry, I think I'll be going back to the Little Whinging tomorrow, I need to get back home and find a job and that sort of thing …"
"I understand," Harry assured him. "I knew you wouldn't be staying long after the Modifiers went. You have your own life, I know that. I'll be able to keep practicing unarmed and with the katana while you are gone, and you can always come back one day a week and teach me a few new things."
"So I can," Tatsu smiled, "So I can. In that case, I think I'd better go and pack my bags and head back to Privet Drive."
"I'll see you sometime then," Harry said, and the two of them embraced, before Harry headed on his way to meet up with his friends, and Tatsu returned to his rooms to grab what he needed before flooing home. As a squib, his house was allowed to be on the network, for which he was grateful – to Modify a spell to get himself home, he needed to find a spell caster willing to cast the spell first. It was much easier this way.
"What did Tatsu want?" Lily asked.
"Just telling me that he's going home," Harry replied.
"Oh … you'll miss him, won't you?"
"Yes – but I can deal with it," Harry said, a little irritably, "I've got things that I can do in the way of the training, and he'll come back once a week to go over things and that sort of thing."
"We're doing our Transfiguration reports," Hermione told Harry, "the one's about the best way in which to transfigure a inanimate object into an animate one."
"I remember," he replied. They'd only gotten the assignment that day, and it was due in a week's time, and they had a Potions assignment, a Care of Magical Creatures report and extra-credit to try and catch up with grades in all subjects.
Without another word, the group settled down to their work, quietly doing as much as they could, all of them occasionally breaking the silence of the library by asking Hermione to clarify on some point or another (either on the work itself or grammar).
"Professor?" Draco Malfoy called quietly from the doorway to Professor Snape's office.
"Come in Draco," Severus called out.
It was their second meeting. Draco had come the day that Har-Potter had told him that Severus could help him out in his problem.
Severus had told Draco all about being a spy and working for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix. Draco had recognised this as his only option now, if he wanted to take his future into his own hands, which he certainly did.
Draco had been at first amazed that his fathers long time associate, and almost friend, who he had thought to be a loyal Death Eater, was a spy. But as Severus had talked, he had realised that it did make sense, in some ways.
Also in their last meeting they had spoken a little of what went on in Death Eater meetings. In this meeting, there would be a little of that, but not much. Severus wanted to teach Draco Occlumency to a higher degree than Draco had been schooled in by his father.
This, Draco knew, would be very important in Death Eater meetings, because he would have to be able to perfectly conceal the fact that he was a spy for the other side – or he would die.
"It's a dangerous game, double-siding," Severus had told him, "and far too many spies meet their fate alone in an enemies camp. It takes a lot of courage to be a spy – more than the average soldier would have. A soldier has his friends around him, and attacks with them, with someone always there to watch his back. A spy has nothing but his or her own intelligence and what few resources they might find."
Draco had nodded his head, and had thought about those words for a long time over the week. He could certainly see where Severus was coming from, and it made him feel obscurely proud to be doing something so selfless and brave … he admitted that this was a little egotistic, but at the same time couldn't help the feeling.
10.2.1997
"Well Blaise, shall we go?" Draco asked his friend at the Slytherin table as breakfast ended and people started heading out towards Hogsmeade for a day of freedom.
"Yes," Blaise replied, standing up. Draco noticed she looked a little nervous, and wondered why … well, it was her business, really.
"Aren't you going to walk me to Hogsmeade, Draco?" Pansy Parkinson demanded, stalking up to the pair of them.
"No," Draco replied simply, "I'm walking with Blaise today."
"You can't!" Pansy informed, eyes flashing coldly, "You're my boyfriend, and you're going to walk with me."
Blaise wished she could sink into the floor. All of the Slytherin, and most of the rest of the school, were turning to look at the scene with interest.
"I don't want to," Draco informed Pansy.
"Too bad!" Snarled the pug-faced girl. "You're my boyfriend and you're coming with me! That's final, got it?"
"You don't own me, Parkinson," Draco's voice was suddenly harsh and cold, and one could almost swear that the temperature had dropped by a few degrees. "I make my own choices, independently of you – but if you are going to insist that while I remain your boyfriend, I do what you tell me to … well, I think perhaps it's time you found a new boyfriend. Because I'm not interested. Come, Blaise."
With that, Draco turned away from a gaping Pansy Parkinson, and slipped his arm through Blaise's, striding from the Great Hall, grey eyes a storm of fury.
The moment they were gone, a storm of noise broke out in the Great Hall, and several Slytherin girls strode straight past Pansy, who still looked shocked, without even glancing at her – girls that had been her friends this morning.
"I guess now that she isn't Malfoy's favourite, no one wants to be her friend any more," Hermione observed, no pity in her voice. After some of the things that Pansy had done to Hermione in the past, no one could blame this approaching.
"Probably," Harry agreed. "What's the bet Blaise has a lot more friends in a few hours?"
"This is part of your plan, isn't it? To keep Blaise safe in Slytherin?" Hermione said, eyes widening as inspiration struck.
"In a way," Harry replied. Of course, there was no such thing as the plan he'd been mentioning to his friends, but oh well … it worked out well either way – Blaise was safe and Malfoy got to chose his own life for once.
"Well, are we heading for Hogsmeade now?"
"Lets," Ron said immediately standing up.
Lily, Hermione and Harry laughed, getting to their feet and heading for the doorway that led to the grounds.
"Pansy sure looked upset," Blaise remarked, realising this was not a very diplomatic way to begin a conversation.
"Her own problem. No one owns a Malfoy," Draco snarled, obviously still angry, "She's had it coming for a while now – getting all clingy and possessive …"
"She'll lose most of her support within Slytherin you know," Blaise said slowly, "I mean, most of the older students jump when you say to, so now all the girls will try and become friends with whoever they think will give them standing in your eyes."
"You, in other words," anger was receding, and Draco smiled slightly.
Blaise was slightly baffled, "Why m- oh, of course. Because I'm the one you walked out with!" she answered her question before she could even finish voicing it.
"Exactly," Draco agreed. "I hope you're ready for that …"
"I'll just have to be," Blaise sighed, "though it might make it hard for me to meet with DA sometimes."
"Yes, that could be a problem," Draco remarked. Blaise had told him all about DA recently, because he'd seemed so interested and was being so nice – and Harry trusted him now.
"I'll work something out," she sighed, not feeling hugely hopeful about this.
"I'll help, if I can, since this is partly my fault," Draco told her.
"Thanks," Blaise smiled up at him, only now full realising that he was about five inches taller than she was. She'd never really been close enough – or thinking of such things – to notice this before.
She really was going to enjoy today.
In Every Darkness
Chapter 89
17.2.1997
It was very early morning – Draco had made his excuses to the school, or had pretended to, saying that this mother was sickly and he had to return home to visit her for a couple of days.
Headmistress McGonagall and Severus Snape were the only one's of Hogwarts staff who knew the truth about his departure, Potter and Blaise the only one's among the students.
Thinking of Blaise made Draco's lips curl up in a smile, a true smile, as thinking of Pansy never had. He looked forward to returning from this 'visit home' so that he could see her again.
Draco shook his head – he'd never thought about anyone like this before. Why was he starting now? Of all times, this was one of the worst.
He was about to walk, virtually unarmed, straight into an enemies strong hold, and he was thinking about a girl.
Draco sighed – not totally unarmed. Every afternoon since he'd had his second meeting with Severus, he'd been practicing Occlumency, so he was armed after a fashion, he supposed.
Slowly, Draco raised himself his bed in the Slytherin boys dormitory, and unwilling strode down the hallway to the common room. The room seemed empty, but for that Draco was grateful.
"You're up early," a soft, female voice spoke from behind him.
Draco turned around, already knowing who he would fine. "Hello Blaise," he said softly.
"Hi," she replied, stepped over to stand beside him in front of the fire. It might be February, but it was by no means warm yet. Despite the closeness of the fire, she was shivering slightly, so Draco put an arm around her shoulders.
"How are you coping?" he asked her.
Blaise made a face. "I'm still alive, so I suppose that's a good thing. Pansy hate's me and she's trying to regather her friends, but it doesn't seem to be working – I think this is being harder on her than it is on me…"
"I don't know," Draco replied, "You're used to be alone, Pansy's used to having people fawning on her all the time … Now you've swapped places, it will be hard for both of you – but I don't care how hard it is on Pansy. She shouldn't have been happy with having support because of me."
"Isn't that a little hard on her? I mean, I don't particularly like her, but didn't you, once?"
"Not really. Our family has been friends for ages, and our parents wanted us to marry, but I'm not interested anymore," Draco replied.
"Oh," Blaise replied, leaning tiredly against Draco's side.
The boys heart began to beat faster, but he forced himself to think of other things. "Aren't you up early?"
"I wanted to say goodbye," Blaise replied.
Draco blinked – she'd gotten up early, in the cold, just to say goodbye to him? No one but his mother had ever done that before … His father got up too, but that was mainly to make sure Draco remembered to uphold the family name proudly.
"And to wish you luck."
Draco smiled slightly. "Thank you," he said softly.
"You're welcome," Blaise replied. "When do you have to leave?"
"In a couple of minutes," Draco replied, no more loathe than ever to leave Hogwarts, or even the Slytherin common room.
"Well then, I'd better hurry up, I suppose," Blaise smiled gently at him, "Goodbye Draco, and good luck."
She twisted under his arm so she was standing in front of him, and slipped her arms around his waist. Draco responded immediately, hugging her back tightly.
"Goodbye Blaise," he said, untangling himself from the embrace. "I'll be back soon enough."
"I hope so," she replied, and her eyes betrayed the worry she clearly felt.
Wishing he didn't have to even more than ever, Draco walked from the Slytherin common room and slowly headed across to Professor Snape's office, from where he would Floo 'home' to Malfoy Manor. It had never felt less like home than now.
"Darling! You're here!" his mother was sitting by the fire place, neatly poised and carefully dressed for the occasion, her pale face held little emotion, but Draco knew that she was glad to see him.
"Good morning Mother," he said formerly, stepping forward. They embraced stiffly. The Malfoy's were never one's to express emotions greatly, and Draco knew that his father did not like shows of emotion at all.
"Oh, you've grown since I saw you last," Narcissa Malfoy said, smiling slightly. "Have you been learning lots at school?"
"Yes, Mother," Draco replied.
"How have you been doing in tests?"
"Nearly always in the top five of the class."
"I suppose that Mudblood upstart from Gryffindor is still beating you?" Lucius Malfoy drawled from the doorway, just on the threshold of the room.
"I'm afraid so, Father."
"You should study harder – show her that the purebloods are always the best," Lucius said sternly. Draco immediately realised that his father had been in pain recently – the dark lord must not have liked something he'd done.
"I'll do my best to when I return to school," Draco said hurriedly, knowing that his father would be in a very bad mood for some time – no Malfoy liked being told they'd failed and being punished for failure was worse.
"Do better than that. You may rest here until tonight, then we go to the Dark Lord's fortress," Lucius said coldly, "You may speak with your mother, but after lunch come to my study, I have many things to instruct you on."
"Yes father."
Draco resigned himself to a formal day – put a step out of line when father was in a mood and it could end painfully. He knew that his father loved him as much as he could love anything – Draco was his heir, after all – but a Malfoy's love did not have much to say for it.
Draco vowed silently that he would change that. When his own child was born, it would be into a world where that child could become whatever it wanted to become.
Draco thought back to when he'd been young, only five or so, when his passion in life had been to become a painter … a Malfoy was tutored in all things, and young Draco had had a talent for painting, and a love of it.
When he unwisely told his father of this ambition, the painting lessons abruptly stopped, and he was informed that painting was not a career that he could chose. Draco was a Malfoy and would become a politician, someone with power, to bring the Malfoy name more fame and recognition and to bring the family more money to fund dark ventures.
"So, what have you been learning recently?"
Draco walked slowly to his fathers study, he'd only recently finished eating lunch and didn't really want to join his father to learn what it was that his father had to instruct. He knew it would be something about joining the Death Eaters that night, but didn't know what.
The study door loomed before him, and Draco raised his hand to knock softly three times upon the ancient wood. It was immediately pulled open and his father looked down upon him.
"Come in, son," he said, stepping aside. Draco walked quickly into the room.
"Sit," Lucius said expansively, gesturing. Draco blinked – his father had been in a bad mood this morning, but now it seemed to have disappeared. He sat before his father changed his mind.
"You wished to see me father?" Draco resolved that even if his father seemed to be in a good mood, he should remain formal just in case.
"Yes. Tonight you will begin your true life, your life as an ally of the Dark Lord – after tonight you will be permitted to speak his name in the company of his other followers and do his bidding as he orders you to, rather than through me. Tonight you will make me prouder of you than I ever have been before."
Draco sighed inwardly. He felt almost as if he was betraying his father, since he knew that he would not be joining the Dark Lord through reverence but rather through his desire to rule his own life, which meant he was turning his back on all that his father was now telling him he could have.
He didn't want it anyway. Draco knew he didn't want it, but it was still hard, seeing the fanatical gleam in his fathers eye. At that moment he knew without doubt that his own father would kill him in a second if he found out what Draco had done.
The Dark Lord was more important to Lucius than his own son was.
Night came too quickly, in Draco's opinion, and every minute seemed to flash past in a second as he willed time to slow. His father spent most of the afternoon telling him how to behave in the Dark Lords presence, from bowing and kissing robe hems to the nuances of where he should stand and how to speak when he was addressed by the lord.
Draco did not eat that night, on his fathers recommendation. "It will hurt, and you don't want to go vomiting in front of everyone," his father had told him.
Then they were flooing from the manor, his mother watching them sadly, and Draco could see she thought she'd lost both of her men to the Dark Lord.
Narcissa had never been a Death Eater, never joined the Dark Lord, nor had she ever wanted to. She'd had a delicate upbringing and was not the sort of person that the would join the Death Eaters. She did not have her sisters sadistic streak.
Draco shivered as he and his father (who was now dressed in a Death Eaters robes) walked into the stone fortress of the Dark Lord. There other figures in anonymous silver masks and black robes standing in the entrance way, wands on the fire, making sure that none entered who were not permitted to do so.
"The Lord awaits you," one of them addressed Lucius, not looking at Draco at all.
"Come," his father told him, and together they walked onwards. Draco felt hugely out of place, as he was only wearing normal robes, not the black Death Eater robes, or the silver masks.
Draco and his father did not speak again as they walked through the seamless halls of unadorned black stone. Draco wondered how his father found his way, but didn't want to break the oppressive silence to ask.
Finally they stopped in front of an ornate door. Draco's father raised his hand and knocked softly. It was immediately opened by a short, cringing man with a silver hand.
Draco knew this must be Wormtail – a man his father despised – but didn't know any more than that. He had a feeling that the man was somehow important, but not why or how.
"The Master is expecting you Lucius," Wormtail informed them, "and your son," there was some contempt in the man's tone, which put Draco's teeth on edge, but he could also hear the hints of cowardice, so he decided that the best option would be to ignore this individual.
Nothing could have prepared Draco fully for the sight of the Dark Lord. This … being … was more demon than human, with glaring red eyes, deathly pale skin, slitted, snake-like nostrils and an almost lipless mouth.
He wanted to run and run and run and then hide under something, where those red eyes could never find him. Doing his best to control his disgust of this so called Dark Lord, Draco thanked his father for the fact that he had been taught to hide all of his emotions behind a still face – at least his 'master'-to be would not know his revulsion.
Overcoming his initial horror at the sight of the Dark Lord, Draco turned his eyes upon the other people here. There were a lot more than he had expected, rank upon rank of silent black-clad silver-masked anonymous figures.
Lucius dropped to his knees, and Draco immediately copied him, shuffling forward a little behind his father as they approached the Dark Lord.
Lucius kissed the Lord's hems, and Draco was about to follow suit when the Dark Lord spoke, his voice hissing like a snakes. Draco was reminded of the time that Harry Potter had used Parsletongue back in first year at Hogwarts.
"Draco Malfoy … rise," stiffly Draco did so, and his father backed away on hands and knees, then rose to his feet and slipped into the ranks of his fellows. Draco immediately lost sight of him.
"My Lord," he said softly, bowing deeply, keeping his eyes on the floor, pretending awe and hiding his reluctance to look again upon the features of the thing before him.
"Will you serve me Draco?"
"Always my Lord. My life, my soul and my wand are yours," Draco said, the silvery phrases dripping easily from his tongue. His father had not prepared him for this happening, he would have to depend upon his wits to keep him alive.
"Good, good," the Dark Lord breathed softly. "Will you bear my mark with pride and do my bidding?"
"It is all I wish for, Lord."
"Then hold out your arm, and prepare to enter my service for the rest of your life," the Dark Lord commanded.
Draco held out his arm and rolled up his sleeve, exposing the pale white skin of his arm and closed his eyes, rather than watch the symbol of everything he now stood against be engraved upon his arm.
He didn't realise it would hurt so much.
Sorry about the chess mistake – I don't play chess much, and when my friend and I play it (she is the only one I play with), we tend to get down to just our kings … It is possible to win from that situation – just very difficult. I have, however, changed the last chapter, so you can all be happy now.
Sorry about the late update (I meant to do it yesterday, but I was 'supposed' to have a maths test today, and went to my maths tutor to make sure I knew all the stuff … get to school and they've cancelled the test anyway … wonderful.)
All of those concerned about my breathing difficulties, it doesn't seem to be anything major. The doctors don't know what it is, (definitely not asthma), so I figure that if it gets worse again, I'll just have to go to a respiratory specialist, to see if we can pinpoint exactly what is wrong. Hopefully this will be unnecessary.
Wow! This chapter is 4,400 words long! Be grateful, it was going to end after Draco and Blaise headed out to Hogsmeade, but I decided to keep it going for a bit longer because otherwise it would be too short.
Thanks:
Lanen, athenakitty, Nerwen Elendil, Farfumsane, torifire126, Dumbeldave, cantfindagoodname, Songbreeze Swifteye, Person, Stix-the-Rebel, pixilax06, Agent Hal, Nerwin Faelvirin, PhoenixPadfoot89, Charme-103, TheFireOne, Chess Literate, Surarrin, Charmed88, HermioneGreen, LunaLovegood61, Nphipps, moonypadfoot, TuxedoMac, uNoeWho, Mike Potter, fcuknig cathy, jbfritz, wadeva, tortie, sun, cyress, gaul1, jeffo, EriEka127, dnd4ever, kraeg001, Duo to Riddle, telpesir, RoguesHeart, Kelei, Lewn Stonewar, Elclya111, jazzpenguin, harryluvzginny, misty43, hermionita, Y401-F4N, Flame of Shadow.
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