Title: THE HAPPY ENDING
By: Kami
Disclaimers: I own neither Meteor Garden, nor Hana Yori Dango. Because if I did, I'd be dragging Zaizai around shopping.
The waves roared deafeningly, the foams licking the sandy beach shore. The foams always filled one with a sense of loss. Every time the tide came up the soft bubbly foams would follow but if you were to reach out a hand to clutch it in your hand it would dissipate.
A hand curved into a cup, letting the foams slide over her skin.
She wished the ocean would submerge her. In that instant she felt an urging that she never felt before- to plunge into the icy depths and let the darkness wash over her, drown her.
Soft footsteps broke her musings and she felt someone shift positions to sit next to her.
"Lei. Why are you here?" her own voice sounded dead to her, so cold and sullen. Leaning forward, her long tresses gently fell into a curtain between her and the boy.
He was silent for a moment. She was used to his silence. That was what made him Lei. The perpetually sad look in his eyes of longing as he gazed out of the window, his lips closed tightly in the straight line, that was Lei. And in that moment she savored the silence that hovered over them, a blanket of comfort.
"How long have you been out here?" his voice was barely a murmur.
Sanchai tilted her head towards the sky, "I don't know. I lost track of time."
She sneezed suddenly as if to confirm her statement. A warm sweater fell over her shoulder, its softness caressing her skin. She looked at her companion for a moment, lost for words.
"Aren't you cold?"
He smiled, a slow and sweet smile as if he had a secret hovering on his lips. Sanchai felt the stirring in her heart and she willed it to pass. His hair was still the same rumpled mess as always, but a strand of hair fell over his eyes. Purely instinctive, her hand reached out to brush it back into place. As she drew back, she felt his hand close over her wrist. Her eyes widened as he looked at her placidly. Suddenly she knew what he was about to say.
"Sanchai-" He cut off as she wrenched her arm away and clapped her hands over her ears.
"No! I don't want to hear it!" she half shrieked while choking on her words.
"You can't keep pretending that it didn't happen. Listen to me!" Lei jerked her forward, arms wrapping around her lithe form. The girl surrendered to his embrace, slowly relaxing, letting his warmth seep into her. He rocked her gently back and fro, "I know you pretend you're so strong but it hurts. Do you know that? It hurts for me to see you like that. Any moment you're going to crack."
Sanchai let her tears softly stain his shirt. She wished she could tell him everything. He had become so much to her, he was always there. It had all changed so much from the beginning. But she couldn't unlock her heart and spill out all her sorrows at once.
Because a part of her heart had been stolen by him.
Whenever they were together she could smile like everything was all right but her mask would always collapse whenever he hugged her. His touch warmed her, and she noticed that his hands had become warmer since their first meeting. She could be in his embrace forever and watch the foams roll past. Had this been the feeling she had with Ah Se? When he had held her, had it felt this warm, the sense of security enveloping her?
"Lei...thank you," she whispered under her breath as her eyes dropped and she drifted to another realm.
Lei watched the girl collapse into his arms, and he felt the tinge of guilt biting him. Guilt and bitterness, he reminded himself. No matter what, he was always merely the bystander, the spectator. He had been so caught up with Jin he never realized that there was some one else. It was now too late. It was no use lamenting on what could have happened because they had already past. Nor should he muse on what would happen because it would only give him false hopes.
But it was really all his fault.
If he had discovered her purity, her spirit, her friendly cheerful yet often stubborn personality, just a bit sooner, perhaps it would have ended differently. But back then Jin had taken up his whole heart. How selfish could he have been? He had wanted heri to hold him, to embrace him while in his mind wishing that it was Jin who was there. And the whole time, Sanchai was blindly, faithfully, naively in love with him. Unrequited love had never been so bittersweet.
Looking back he realized that he truly admired her. He would not have been able to be so polite so pure in his intentions if he had been her. Or perhaps he would have given up on the other party long ago. But Sanchai blindly showered him with her affection and adoration, all the time only asking for a space in his heart. And he'd cruelly rejected her, all but taking her heart and ripping it into paper pieces before flinging it back into her face.
Lei grimaced.
He had truly been a bastard at times. It was his personality to be introvert, distant, and always with the lethargic look on his face. But it wasn't him who had coldly told Sanchai to go away when Jin was leaving for France. That wasn't him.
His reveries were interrupted as the girl stirred slightly in her sleep. Groggily she awoke, her eyes bleary with fatigue. He forced himself to look away from her. If he didn't his emotions would overwhelm him. But...he couldn't help it. Very quietly, he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. It was a bittersweet feeling.
She raised a hand to caress his cheeks before gently pulling back. Her other hand came up and rested against his cheek. Raising her eyes to him, Lei tried to tear his gaze away. Her doe-eyes were dark and glistened with barely contained tears, threatening to spill over.
"No, Lei," she murmured gently as if to a young child.
"Why?" his voice rose sharply. "Do you love him that much?"
She didn't look at him as she stood up slowly, "It's not a matter of love. I owe him this much. He's always been there for me. Even though there's been some bumps in the journey, I can't leave him now."
"Is that why you're still with him? Because you think it's an obligation?" Lei asked coldly. "Isn't that worse than lying? You're trying to mask your feelings, instead disguising it for the same kind of love he gives you. Are you that heartless?"
"Stop it!" Sanchai shoved him to the ground. "What would you have me do? Tell him that I can never love him the same way I love you? Is that the way you want things to be? Why did you even ask that question in the first place? You know I never stopped loving you! I tried to tell myself I got over you, but you always have that part of me that I can never get back. I tried to move on with Ah Se. I tried to make myself forget, but I only locked you away in a corner of my mind. And I tried to forget all the memories I had with you."
"I tried! I tried! But I can't do it any more," she sobbed, the tears coursing down her cheeks. They were like dew drops, the remnants of the morning sun. Lei leaned in closer until they were but inches away. He kissed her tears away gently, before silent tears trickled down his own cheeks.
"You never told me," he accused hoarsely.
She turned her tear-stained face towards him, "Wasn't it obvious?"
Lei gave her a small smile, "Perhaps this is our happy ending?"
Sanchai smiled through her tears. "You know wherever I go, I won't forget you. I can't forget you. Because you were my first love."
And my only loveā¦she left the thought unuttered. Perhaps some day, she would gather courage and tell him everything.
But old wounds take time to heal over.
The two sat together for the setting sun, a perfect orange glow in the sky. They smiled at each other, wistful looks sneaked while gazing at the beautiful canvas of colors. It wasn't the ending, not even a farewell. Perhaps there is no ending. Perhaps there is no such thing as a happy ending.
Perhaps.
OWARI
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This is one of the shortest fanfics I've ever done. At least, compared to my other one-shots that is. After I watched Episode 11, I knew I had to do a Lei ficcie. And then I thought that the Lei x Sanchai relationship was really complex and a part of me wanted them to end up together but a part of me didn't. This ficcie is the result of that internal conflict in me.
The ironic thing about this is that the two songs I was listening to over and over again while writing this was "Love Song" by Luna Sea and "Never End" by Silver Ash.
Please comment, review, and er...flame me. Criticisms make one a better writer, ne?
