Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my toothbrush.......can I borrow some toothpaste?
The Future of Chia Pets
Chapter I
With the evolution of chemical fertilizers, came the consequences worse than anyone had ever thought possible. The Reign of The Chia Pets is here. Early in the war, the Chia Pets gained the ally of Cardboard. This enabled them to mass produce themselves even faster than before. Then the day came...when they turned on humans. They feasted on humans for the water the contained in their bodies. Within five years the human race was forced into hiding, living is subterranean shelters. The whole of humanity relied on the hope that the Chia Pets would die of starvation........
Inside a dark concrete and steel bunker, wedged into the soil of the least desired realty on the planet, sit two men. Ones who would change the fate of the world, in due time. "I'll never forget that day", Jacob, a relatively tall, brown haired man with intriguing gold speckled eyes, states. His words seemed to permeate the walls, launched into the atmosphere by his commanding tones, "when the whole world turned upside down...I could tell it would happen......they all called me crazy."He rested his leg on a rock, flinching as he brushed against a cut in his leg that was mostly healed, but it was still quite painful. It was a gift from a particularly feisty Chia pet. "What do you mean?" His companion asked curiously, running a hand through his blonde hair that he could never manage to get tidy, while he sharpened his spear idly.
"Didn't you see the hints? The hidden signs?"
"No", came the reply
"Ugh…at first it was the Chia growing sponge...it was this cardboard-like growing medium....If only we would have thought about something other than perpetuating the laziness of humanity," Mumbled Jacob. "We used so many chemicals to make it grow faster, that it mutated the plant....If only they could have been more patient, then we wouldn't be in this mess. But that's not the way of the humans, is it?" Jacob added coldly. Phil just sat there, listening to his friend fume, as he often did... He had known Jacob for a long time...since before the beasts killed his family.
That had changed Jacob. Phil knew that he had never been the same after that. He was never mentally sound, but after the mass killing of his family and friends, he seemed to snap. Phil figured that he may be the same way if he saw the things that Jacob saw. Once he asked Jacob what he saw that day, and he always would regret it. "It was Tuesday," recalled Jacob, "when I came to school....those beasts had massacred hundreds of my fellow students. Even the teachers...torn apart by those evil creatures.....I made my way through the gore and the bodies....I made my way to the double-doors. I could hardly see through the fog in the glass. When I came in, it was worse than it was outside. I managed to find and unite the survivors, and we all made our way to a safe place. "Phil often asked him where this 'Safe Place' was, but he only replied "I can't tell ya, I made a promise with someone that I wouldn't"
"Our only saving grace is this Spandex clothing...it shields us from the tendrils of the CP's. Their vines can't get through the tight weaving to get in our flesh." Jacob shuddered at the remembrance of his old friend, Chance, being ripped apart from the inside, those tendrils splitting the skin all over his body. After that, he would not make friends so easily, they die too fast.....Phil was one of his few friends. "We better get going", commented Jacob, almost startled by his own voice. "It's getting dark, we should go hunt, were out of Spam Hot-pockets, not that I thought it'd last very long." They had been eating the horrible hot-pockets since they got there, and had needed to hunt for a couple of days now. Phil grabbed his spear and was getting his vest on when Jacob walked in with a 12 gauge shotgun. Phil arched a brow at Jacob, glancing down at his spear, slightly peeved now. "Where'd ya git' that? An' why do I gotta have a pointy stick!?" Jacob glances at Phil, chuckling slightly while shaking his head. "I took a swing down by my place, and got this gun. As to why you have that pointy stick, well, it's just funner to kill em' with melee weapons...More of a rush. Now, if you ain't got any more complaints, you ready?" inquired Jacob, anxious to get out in the fresh air. Phil grinned slightly, for it had been a little fun using his spear... "Yeah, you're pretty eager for some killin' aint'ya?" It was more of an observation than a question. "Let's go kill something...." Jacob walked through the door of the shelter for the first time in weeks, with his gun slung over his shoulder. Phil smirked as the sight of him, 'this guy is crazy' he thought to himself, 'but I wouldn't trust anyone more in that world out there...who better to have at your side than a man said by many to be "the greatest leader on this world"?
The two men walked cautiously out into the world; with Jacob leading the way, and Phil close behind. Jacob made a joke to a scarecrow that sat on a post, marking the entrance to the shelter. "Just our friendly neighborhood Spiderman, right?" When he looked out to the fields, his mood changed dramatically. Off in the distance he could see a Chia Pet, but why wasn't it smaller? It was way out there...Then Jacob realized that it was smaller.....up close this one must have been the biggest Chia Pet he had ever seen! Standing at least five stories, and nearly as long and wide as a football field!
"Dang......that ones bigger than I last remember it....." Jacob said coolly. "It'll be fun trying to kill that one...Heh"
Suddenly a thought occurred to Phil, "While were out, why don't we find a car?"
"I have a car.....Heheh...oh yeah....we got a car!"
"I don't see one"
"Just follow me....We can use my 'car'"
"Oook....lets go then"
They hiked for about 3 hours, occasionally having to duck under cover as groups of Chia Pets passed by. The eventually came upon an old beat up trailer, the kind that you drive around. When they got to the big metal piece of junk, Phil was puzzled. "I don't see a car."
"That because you're not looking in the right direction...."Jacob commented, picking crowbar off the ground.
Phil spun around, and still did not see a car.
"Still no car....."
"Look down"
Below them was an old grate, covered in grass.
"That's your car?" remarked Phil jokingly.
"Let's go." Jacob ordered, pulling up the grate with the crowbar.
Jacob entered through the hole into a gray hallway, intruiged slightly by the incredible number of War World II posters and spy cameras that dotted the walls of the hall.
Phil wasn't sure about this, but he followed anyway.
At about every ten feet, they had to stop for Jacob to peel back a WWII poster to punch in a six or eight digit security codes in various ports.
"Turns off the security beams", Jacob explained at about the third port.
"How many are there?" wondered Phil
"I installed all of them myself...there's about 30 beams placed at various heights."
"Isn't that a bit much?"
"No." answered Jacob flatly
'This guy IS crazy...' thought Phil
After a while they reached a big metal door, which to Phil, looked like it could withstand a tank.
Jacob typed about eight different codes into the terminal and the door unlocked with a resounding "Click"
As the door opened, they could feel the air rush in around them, a tell-tale sign that it had been many years since that door had opened.
"Huh...guess it's been a while since I last came in here..."
Phil looked inside and his heart skipped a few beats at what he saw.
They were in a small little room lined with shelves of ammo, guns and various blades and bludgeons.
But what caught Phil's eye was the Chrysler Imperial in the center of the room.
Phil almost asked how he got it in there, but then saw the large metal doors on the opposite side of the room.
"THIS is my car..." Jacob proclaimed proudly.
"So, what can this thing do?"
"Well, it ain't the fastest, but it's built like a tank." Jacob said, affectionately kicking the side of the car.
"What are all these slots?"
"That's the best part." Jacob reached in the driver side window and turned the key.
Immediately the slots opened and various guns came out. Phil's eyes doubled in size as they set on the Browning M2 that was currently mounted where the trunk used to be.
A seat was present, hooked up to the gun with several bars, including one bolted to the bottom, and the whole thing was mounted onto a revolving pole, which was heavily bolted into the trunk, allowing 360 degrees movement.
. On the outside of the unit, pioneer tools-an axe, shovel, and pick-were strapped under each door with canvas or leather straps. Each rear fender had a cabinet with a lid over it for storing ammunition, section tools, and spare parts. Each Triplex bullet proof window was equipped with a Kevlar curtain for increased protection. The hub caps were out cropped with the outside increased in diameter and covered in a thick sheet of Kevlar to increase protection for the already bullet-proof tires. The passenger side roof was partially cut away to make room for a dash-mounted M249 automatic support weapon. On the hood, two mounted Tommy Guns were bolted facing straight forward with the drum magazines hidden under the hood and each had a compartment with plenty of drums of ammo over the tires.
"Sweet!" Phil praised, impressed by the creation of the gun-crazed grease-monkey.
"Yup, and wait till ya see what I got in mind for that particularly large Chia Pet. Jacob pulled off a key of some sort he wore around his neck and walked across the room to a large cabinet and unlocked it. From the cabinet he retrieved several ammo crates, which he placed on the trunk of the car. He motioned for Phil to look, and opened them to reveal what looked a stack of bricks covered in brown paper. Upon closer inspection, Phil saw that the paper read "Semtex" in bold black lettering. He gives Jacob an inquisitive look. Jacob grins, stating proudly, "It's Semtex. There's enough Plastique there to reduce three city blocks to rubble, mate."
Yeah...well this is me first chapter of me first story.....so if'n ya don't like it, too bad. I shall post my second chappie up soon, as I am currently doing the final touches. Please read and review, so that I can see how bad and/or how good it is. Just tell me what I should do to improve, and ill see what I kin do. Tacos out! One more thing.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.