"I don't know if I can ever trust you again, Craig," Ashley said softly as she stared at her hands folded in her lap, "But I also don't know how long I can go on pretending nothing happened."
*Was that a yes or a no? * Craig thought to himself. He tried to give her an encouraging smile, but she didn't even look up at him. *Well, that can't be a good sign. *
"I don't think you understand how . . . distressed I was. I still am. I needed someone to be there for me, to help me through everything. Ellie did the best she could, but she's been having her own problems . . . "her voice trailed off. *I shouldn't have said that. Ellie was reluctant to tell me about her cutting problem. She didn't want anyone else to know, and I almost told Craig. I'm glad she has finally stopped. *
Sean's eyes slowly moved from her arm to her eyes as he whispered, "Ellie . . . what's going on?" He knew exactly what was going on. She was cutting. He needed her to tell him though, otherwise he would sound like he was accusing her of something.
Ellie cleared her throat. *What's going on? I need an excuse, think, think, think! * She finally decided to play dumb, "What do you mean Sean?"
Sean eyed her suspiciously. *I should have known she wouldn't tell me. * He decided to ask her anyway, "Those cuts on your arm," he gestured to where the cuts were, "How did you get them?"
"Oh, Ashley and I went rollerblading, and I fell," Ellie turned her back to Sean as she looked in through the window, "I think they're almost done."
Sean sighed quietly, "Ellie, you don't have to tell me what you're doing, but don't lie to me." *Crap! So much for not sounding accusing. * Sean knew that he meant what he said, but he felt that she have thought more about it the words coming out of his mouth. He was right.
Ellie quickly turned to him, "Excuse me? Sean, why would I lie to you?"
*This is just great! I try to make new friends, and I go and screw it up! Well, what's new? I always screw things up.* "Ellie, I'm just worried about you. Those cuts look too clean to be from a rollerblading accident." *Why do they even bother putting a red line there? I always end up crossing it anyway. *
"Sean, you have no idea what you're talking about! Just leave me alone, okay?"Ellie felt her eyes start to fill with tears, so she turned away from Sean.
"Ellie," he began, his tone much softer, "I don't know you very well, but . . ."
"You don't know me at all, Sean," Ellie claimed without looking at him, "Here they come." Ellie wiped the tears off her cheeks, as Craig came outside with a grin on his face.
"Ellie, you can go back inside with Ash," Craig smiled, not picking up on the tension between Sean and Ellie.
Ellie cleared her throat, "Here," she began to take off the sweatshirt, but Sean came toward her, and stilled her hands.
"It's okay, you can give it to me later," Sean offered, "Track nine." His last comment was whispered so that only Ellie could hear.
She had a confused expression on her face, "What?" Craig was becoming impatient, and started calling for Sean.
"Listen to track nine," Sean said quickly as he jogged to catch up with Craig, "I'll talk to you later Ellie!"
Ellie still wasn't certain what he meant, but as she turned to go inside the diner, she put her hands in the pocket across her belly, and felt his C.D. player. She smiled to herself as she realized what he meant.
"So?" Craig asked Sean excitedly. As they walked down the cold, dark street.
"So, what?"Sean rolled his eyes at Craig.
"She was wearing your sweatshirt, I saw you two whispering over in the corner . . . "Craig said suggestively.
"Shouldn't I be the one interrogating *you* about what happened?"Sean asked, trying somewhat to change the subject.
"Ya, she said we could be friends, but it might take a while to get back on track," Craig said quickly, "So, what's going on with you and Ellie?"
"Nothing we were just talking," Sean tried to explain in his carefree tone.
"Ya, sure . . . "Craig smiled and pressed the glow button on his watch, "It's nine o'clock. You don't have any plans, right?"
"Actually, Jay and the guys were gonna stop by," Sean reminded Craig.
"So, why did you start hanging out with them?"Craig tried to ask without much concern. Sean smirked at Craig's attempt of casualness, but decided to give him a little information.
"They get me," was his answer. He continued to walk, but Craig stopped for a second to figure out what he meant.
After Craig snapped back to reality, he realized Sean was far ahead of him. He ran to catch up, "And I don't get you?"
*I should've known he'd take it the wrong way. * Sean was starting to feel the cold, and noticed that they were nearing his house, "Hey, Craig, I'll talk to you later. I'm glad you and Ash made up," he turned into his yard, and was about to the door, when he heard Craig yell.
"You never answered me!" Craig didn't understand.
Sean didn't even turn to look at Craig as he unlocked the door, "I think *you* just did," he opened the door and went inside. Craig was left in the freezing dark, alone and confused.
Ellie sat down across from Ashley, and smiled at her friend's beaming face, "Things went well?"Ellie assumed.
"It was great El! He wants to be friends again! I know that I can't exactly trust him right now, but that's why he'll make a much better friend than a boyfriend." Ashley was so excited, it took her a moment before she realized her companion's attire, "El, isn't that Sean's?"
Ellie smiled and nodded, but quickly changed the subject, "You're happy, right?" *Of course she's happy, why else would she be smiling like an idiot? *
Ashley quickly forgot about interrogating her friend about Sean, and instead went on to talk about how pleased she was to be on speaking terms with Craig.
While Ashley spoke, Ellie's mind wandered. *I wonder what he's going to say next time he sees me. *
Ellie remembered the C.D. player in her pocket, and carefully pulled up the hood of the sweatshirt. Then she pulled the headphones out of her pocket, and put them on. Ashley was off in her own world, so she didn't notice anything Ellie did.
After she heard the C.D. start to play, she hit the 'skip' button eight times. The song began:
Memories consume me
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Tonight
A/N:
This chapter was shorter than the rest, but I got school tomorrow, so I need to go to sleep! I don't know if the song is really right for the story, but I was listening to it as I wrote, and it made sense. The lyrics are from Linkin Park's C.D. Meteora, and the song is called "Breaking the Habit". I want to say thank-you for those of you who have reviewed my story, and anyone who has taken time out of their day to read it! I'll try to update as soon as possible, but it may take a while! Thanks again! :)
~*~Sammi*~
*Was that a yes or a no? * Craig thought to himself. He tried to give her an encouraging smile, but she didn't even look up at him. *Well, that can't be a good sign. *
"I don't think you understand how . . . distressed I was. I still am. I needed someone to be there for me, to help me through everything. Ellie did the best she could, but she's been having her own problems . . . "her voice trailed off. *I shouldn't have said that. Ellie was reluctant to tell me about her cutting problem. She didn't want anyone else to know, and I almost told Craig. I'm glad she has finally stopped. *
Sean's eyes slowly moved from her arm to her eyes as he whispered, "Ellie . . . what's going on?" He knew exactly what was going on. She was cutting. He needed her to tell him though, otherwise he would sound like he was accusing her of something.
Ellie cleared her throat. *What's going on? I need an excuse, think, think, think! * She finally decided to play dumb, "What do you mean Sean?"
Sean eyed her suspiciously. *I should have known she wouldn't tell me. * He decided to ask her anyway, "Those cuts on your arm," he gestured to where the cuts were, "How did you get them?"
"Oh, Ashley and I went rollerblading, and I fell," Ellie turned her back to Sean as she looked in through the window, "I think they're almost done."
Sean sighed quietly, "Ellie, you don't have to tell me what you're doing, but don't lie to me." *Crap! So much for not sounding accusing. * Sean knew that he meant what he said, but he felt that she have thought more about it the words coming out of his mouth. He was right.
Ellie quickly turned to him, "Excuse me? Sean, why would I lie to you?"
*This is just great! I try to make new friends, and I go and screw it up! Well, what's new? I always screw things up.* "Ellie, I'm just worried about you. Those cuts look too clean to be from a rollerblading accident." *Why do they even bother putting a red line there? I always end up crossing it anyway. *
"Sean, you have no idea what you're talking about! Just leave me alone, okay?"Ellie felt her eyes start to fill with tears, so she turned away from Sean.
"Ellie," he began, his tone much softer, "I don't know you very well, but . . ."
"You don't know me at all, Sean," Ellie claimed without looking at him, "Here they come." Ellie wiped the tears off her cheeks, as Craig came outside with a grin on his face.
"Ellie, you can go back inside with Ash," Craig smiled, not picking up on the tension between Sean and Ellie.
Ellie cleared her throat, "Here," she began to take off the sweatshirt, but Sean came toward her, and stilled her hands.
"It's okay, you can give it to me later," Sean offered, "Track nine." His last comment was whispered so that only Ellie could hear.
She had a confused expression on her face, "What?" Craig was becoming impatient, and started calling for Sean.
"Listen to track nine," Sean said quickly as he jogged to catch up with Craig, "I'll talk to you later Ellie!"
Ellie still wasn't certain what he meant, but as she turned to go inside the diner, she put her hands in the pocket across her belly, and felt his C.D. player. She smiled to herself as she realized what he meant.
"So?" Craig asked Sean excitedly. As they walked down the cold, dark street.
"So, what?"Sean rolled his eyes at Craig.
"She was wearing your sweatshirt, I saw you two whispering over in the corner . . . "Craig said suggestively.
"Shouldn't I be the one interrogating *you* about what happened?"Sean asked, trying somewhat to change the subject.
"Ya, she said we could be friends, but it might take a while to get back on track," Craig said quickly, "So, what's going on with you and Ellie?"
"Nothing we were just talking," Sean tried to explain in his carefree tone.
"Ya, sure . . . "Craig smiled and pressed the glow button on his watch, "It's nine o'clock. You don't have any plans, right?"
"Actually, Jay and the guys were gonna stop by," Sean reminded Craig.
"So, why did you start hanging out with them?"Craig tried to ask without much concern. Sean smirked at Craig's attempt of casualness, but decided to give him a little information.
"They get me," was his answer. He continued to walk, but Craig stopped for a second to figure out what he meant.
After Craig snapped back to reality, he realized Sean was far ahead of him. He ran to catch up, "And I don't get you?"
*I should've known he'd take it the wrong way. * Sean was starting to feel the cold, and noticed that they were nearing his house, "Hey, Craig, I'll talk to you later. I'm glad you and Ash made up," he turned into his yard, and was about to the door, when he heard Craig yell.
"You never answered me!" Craig didn't understand.
Sean didn't even turn to look at Craig as he unlocked the door, "I think *you* just did," he opened the door and went inside. Craig was left in the freezing dark, alone and confused.
Ellie sat down across from Ashley, and smiled at her friend's beaming face, "Things went well?"Ellie assumed.
"It was great El! He wants to be friends again! I know that I can't exactly trust him right now, but that's why he'll make a much better friend than a boyfriend." Ashley was so excited, it took her a moment before she realized her companion's attire, "El, isn't that Sean's?"
Ellie smiled and nodded, but quickly changed the subject, "You're happy, right?" *Of course she's happy, why else would she be smiling like an idiot? *
Ashley quickly forgot about interrogating her friend about Sean, and instead went on to talk about how pleased she was to be on speaking terms with Craig.
While Ashley spoke, Ellie's mind wandered. *I wonder what he's going to say next time he sees me. *
Ellie remembered the C.D. player in her pocket, and carefully pulled up the hood of the sweatshirt. Then she pulled the headphones out of her pocket, and put them on. Ashley was off in her own world, so she didn't notice anything Ellie did.
After she heard the C.D. start to play, she hit the 'skip' button eight times. The song began:
Memories consume me
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm
Breaking the habit
Tonight
A/N:
This chapter was shorter than the rest, but I got school tomorrow, so I need to go to sleep! I don't know if the song is really right for the story, but I was listening to it as I wrote, and it made sense. The lyrics are from Linkin Park's C.D. Meteora, and the song is called "Breaking the Habit". I want to say thank-you for those of you who have reviewed my story, and anyone who has taken time out of their day to read it! I'll try to update as soon as possible, but it may take a while! Thanks again! :)
~*~Sammi*~