"Um, well, I guess I'll see you later Sean," Ellie said goodbye reluctantly. *I don't think coming was the greatest idea. * Ellie looked at her house, which seemed to have its personal rain cloud above it.
Sean noticed how Ellie started chewing on her lower lip as she stared at her house. *Does she even want to go home? * Sean cleared his throat, "Well, uh, I have a few minutes till I have to meet Jay . . . do you wanna go to The Dot, or something?"
Ellie gave one last thoughtful glance at her house before nodding, and following to The Dot.
As they walked inside, they spotted Marco and Dylan sitting at a table. Ellie smiled and waved at them, and they motioned for Sean and her to join them.
As Sean sat down, Dylan glared at him. *What does he think he's doing? * Dylan thought to himself. *His crew wouldn't ever accept him if they new he hung out with us. *
Ellie and Marco engaged in and uncomfortable conversation, even though things hadn't been the same since he started seeing Dylan. Ellie liked Dylan and everything, but she always felt like the third wheel. Sometimes, no wheel at all. Marco was so busy with Dylan. He didn't notice he had hurt Ellie's feelings.
Sean was very uncomfortable. He hadn't spoken to Marco since he had switched cliques, and Marco didn't seem very interested in being friends again. Dylan's occasional scowls weren't helping much either.
The bell on the door ran as somebody entered. On impulse, everybody turned to see who had come in.
Eight pairs of eyes widened when Jay, Towerz, and all of their friends walked in. Dylan was filled with anger, while Marco became scared. Ellie and Sean were both nervous as te gang approached them.
"Cameron, what the hell are you doing?" Jay asked incredulously.
Sean put on his calm, blank face and shrugged, "Just hanging out."
Jay scoffed and looked behind him at his friends, who immediately started laughing as well.
"Right, Cameron, let's go," Jay turned and waited for Sean to follow.
*Crap. I can't go with them, but if I stay, they're bound to make fun of Dylan and Marco. *
Jay turned to face Sean again, "Cameron? Did you not hear me? We better leave before they rub off on us."
Dylan started to tense, and couldn't restrain himself any longer, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Did the little fairy not understand?" Jay said coldly.
Sean looked toward Ellie who was getting frustrated as well, "Jay, let's go," Sean stood up, and started walking toward the door. Jay stared at Dylan for one last second before walking outside. Sean stopped in the doorway, and looked at Ellie with an apologetic expression. He sighed, then left.
Soon as they were gone, Dylan turned on Ellie, "What were you thinking?!"
Ellie bit her lower lip and stared at Dylan with a confused expression, "What do you mean?"
Marco jumped in, "Ellie, you know he's not like us anymore. Why are you hanging out with him?!"
"We were just getting along . . . ," Ellie tried to explain. They stood up and started to walk away.
Marco turned just before he walked out the door, "Sean isn't a good person to be around any more El. He's just trouble."
"Marco, I didn't know . . ." Ellie started.
"Well now you do," Marco turned and walked out the door.
Ellie sighed as she slumped back into the chair. *I didn't know he hated him so much. I never can do anything right. *
Ellie slowly wandered down the street toward her house. *I wish that one time things would work out. * She went to readjust her arm stocking, when she felt something in it. The razor blade. She pulled it out and looked at it thoughtfully. *What's the point of even trying to stop? Nobody cares. It'll make the pain go away . . . at least for a little bit. * Ellie had been trying to stop cutting ever since Paige told the counselor. She just hadn't been able to stop completely.
She looked around, and realized she was almost home. *I'll wait till I get there. * She slid the razor blade back into her arm stocking, and sped up her pace.
She stopped in front of her house and took a deep breath as she stepped onto the front lawn, and began to walk to the door.
There was a strange object on the porch. As she got closer, she realized it was a person sitting there.
"Hello?" she called wearily. Ellie stood where she was, waiting for the person to respond.
"Ellie? It's me," the voice groaned.
"Sean?" The way the person moaned made Ellie unsure of who it was.
Ellie approached the step he was sitting on, and soon as she saw him, she took a step back, "Wha . . . what happened?"
His face was drained of all its color. But replacing the natural color were purple bruises, red blood, and a black eye.
Sean hawked a loogie, "Got into a fight."
Ellie rolled her eyes, "I kinda got that. Come on, let's go inside," she grabbed his arm and pulled him up. Almost immediately, he doubled over, clutching his side.
Ellie felt sympathy pains as she draped his arm over her shoulders, and carefully led him inside. They passed the livingroom, and went straight to the bathroom.
"Who did you get into a fight with?" Ellie asked as she pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink.
Sean was sitting on the side of the tub, and he watched as Ellie got the rubbing alcohol out, "Well, uh, Towerz was, uh, talking crap about Marco and Dylan."
Ellie poured some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball, and walked over to him, "That's never bothered you before. So, they beat the crap outta you because . . ."
Sean flinched as the cold cotton touched his face, and stung the cuts, "Well, I kinda, uh, told them to stop, and well, they thought it was because of you."
Ellie pulled the cotton away from his face so she could look at him, "What do you mean they thought it was because of me?"
"They thought I was defending Marco because of you. They thought I liked you, or something," Sean shrugged it off.
"And how did this lead to a fight?" Ellie brought the cotton ball back to his face.
"After somebody came up with that assumption, they started being really . . . crude. They wouldn't shut-up, and maybe I got a little angry . . ."
"You tried to fight all of them?" Ellie asked, completely astonished at Sean's stupidity.
"No . . ." Sean began.
"Good," Ellie was relieved, "You couldn't have been that dumb. Wait, then how did you get hurt?"
Sean sighed, "I just went after Jay. His comments were the . . ."
"Sean!" Ellie exclaimed. She poured more peroxide onto the cotton ball, and pressed it harder against his skin than before, making Sean flinch again, "What were you thinking? You know Jay is their God, or something. You pick a fight with him, you pick a fight with the whole gang. Why would you do something like that? It doesn't matter if he says anything about, I don't care Sean."
Sean carefully pushed her hand away from his face, "Ellie, it does matter. For being a person who supposedly doesn't take crap from anybody, you sure let people walk all over you. You need to think you're worth it, Ellie. You need to think that you're worth something, that you're a strong, wonderful person. I know I do."
Ellie had her head down the entire time Sean spoke, but soon as he finished, she couldn't help but look up, "You think I'm a wonderful person?"
Sean was confused by her tone. She didn't sound happy, or angry, maybe . . . shocked? Sean slowly nodded his head, "Ellie, you're smart, beautiful, interesting," he paused as he slowly rolled her arm stocking up, and the blade fell out. He wasn't expecting that, but he didn't change his tone, "You just make some bad decisions," he lightly traced the scars on her arm.
Her immediate reaction was to justify the cuts, even though he had seen the razor blade. Soon as she opened her mouth, Sean knew what she was going to do, and he said, "Ellie, excuses are like ass-holes. Everybody has one, and they all stink," he gave her a small smile that she didn't return.
Ellie looked down at her arm, which Sean lightly held. She felt so ashamed of herself. She cleared her throat, "I need to finish cleaning your cuts," she carefully slid her arm from Sean's grip, and went to roll up her arm stocking.
Sean stilled her hand, "Don't hide who you are when you're around me. If this isn't the person you wanna be, then don't be her."
If the situation hadn't been so serious, Ellie would have laughed at how deep Sean was trying to sound.
She smiled, "Well, you need to stop acting like a badass, cause I know that deep down, you're just a big fluffy bunny," Ellie joked.
Sean rolled his eyes, "No more pretending," he pointed at her arm, "And no more lying. If you cut yourself, tell me. I won't get angry, I'll just be concerned."
Ellie nodded her head, "And if you steal something, tell me. I'll be angry and concerned," Ellie smiled, but her expression quickly changed when she saw the anger in Sean's eyes.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Ellie bit her lower lip, "I just meant that-"
Sean cut her off, "That I'm some kind of criminal?" He stood up and started to walk toward the door.
Ellie jumped up as quickly as she could and ran in front of the door, "You need to cool off Sean."
He stared in her in the eyes, and took a deep breath, before sitting back down. "You can't jump to conclusions like that. Jay does that sort of thing though. He supposedly stole Mr. Simpson's new laptop. And, I don't believe this part, cause I've learned not to buy into rumors, but lots of people think you helped. Some are even going as far as to say it was your idea."
Ellie looked at Sean expectantly. *I don't want to ask him, because then he'll think that I believe he would do something like that. *
There was a long awkward silence, and Ellie began cleaning Sean's face. She was surprised when he spoke, "What if I did?"
"It wouldn't matter," Ellie answered truthfully. If he can deal with my mistakes, I can deal with his.
Sean slowly nodded. Ellie was wondering if he would ever do something like that again, when Sean said, "It will probably happen again."
"Sean, start looking for better qualities in yourself. Don't always assume the worse."
"I don't have any good qualities," Sean admitted.
Ellie unconsciously put her hand on his arm, and was surprised by the large muscles she felt, "Sean, you have a lot of great qualities. You're strong, emotionally and physically, your sweet, considerate, hot, funny, feel free to stop me."
Sean smiled, "You think I'm hot . . ." he teased.
Ellie immediately became defensive, "I didn't mean, well . . . you said I was beautiful."
"I meant it," Ellie suddenly felt how close she was to Sean, and he was coming closer. *Is he gonna kiss me? * She suddenly felt very nervous.
Sean slowly leaned in, and just barely brushed her lips with his own.
Sean noticed how Ellie started chewing on her lower lip as she stared at her house. *Does she even want to go home? * Sean cleared his throat, "Well, uh, I have a few minutes till I have to meet Jay . . . do you wanna go to The Dot, or something?"
Ellie gave one last thoughtful glance at her house before nodding, and following to The Dot.
As they walked inside, they spotted Marco and Dylan sitting at a table. Ellie smiled and waved at them, and they motioned for Sean and her to join them.
As Sean sat down, Dylan glared at him. *What does he think he's doing? * Dylan thought to himself. *His crew wouldn't ever accept him if they new he hung out with us. *
Ellie and Marco engaged in and uncomfortable conversation, even though things hadn't been the same since he started seeing Dylan. Ellie liked Dylan and everything, but she always felt like the third wheel. Sometimes, no wheel at all. Marco was so busy with Dylan. He didn't notice he had hurt Ellie's feelings.
Sean was very uncomfortable. He hadn't spoken to Marco since he had switched cliques, and Marco didn't seem very interested in being friends again. Dylan's occasional scowls weren't helping much either.
The bell on the door ran as somebody entered. On impulse, everybody turned to see who had come in.
Eight pairs of eyes widened when Jay, Towerz, and all of their friends walked in. Dylan was filled with anger, while Marco became scared. Ellie and Sean were both nervous as te gang approached them.
"Cameron, what the hell are you doing?" Jay asked incredulously.
Sean put on his calm, blank face and shrugged, "Just hanging out."
Jay scoffed and looked behind him at his friends, who immediately started laughing as well.
"Right, Cameron, let's go," Jay turned and waited for Sean to follow.
*Crap. I can't go with them, but if I stay, they're bound to make fun of Dylan and Marco. *
Jay turned to face Sean again, "Cameron? Did you not hear me? We better leave before they rub off on us."
Dylan started to tense, and couldn't restrain himself any longer, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Did the little fairy not understand?" Jay said coldly.
Sean looked toward Ellie who was getting frustrated as well, "Jay, let's go," Sean stood up, and started walking toward the door. Jay stared at Dylan for one last second before walking outside. Sean stopped in the doorway, and looked at Ellie with an apologetic expression. He sighed, then left.
Soon as they were gone, Dylan turned on Ellie, "What were you thinking?!"
Ellie bit her lower lip and stared at Dylan with a confused expression, "What do you mean?"
Marco jumped in, "Ellie, you know he's not like us anymore. Why are you hanging out with him?!"
"We were just getting along . . . ," Ellie tried to explain. They stood up and started to walk away.
Marco turned just before he walked out the door, "Sean isn't a good person to be around any more El. He's just trouble."
"Marco, I didn't know . . ." Ellie started.
"Well now you do," Marco turned and walked out the door.
Ellie sighed as she slumped back into the chair. *I didn't know he hated him so much. I never can do anything right. *
Ellie slowly wandered down the street toward her house. *I wish that one time things would work out. * She went to readjust her arm stocking, when she felt something in it. The razor blade. She pulled it out and looked at it thoughtfully. *What's the point of even trying to stop? Nobody cares. It'll make the pain go away . . . at least for a little bit. * Ellie had been trying to stop cutting ever since Paige told the counselor. She just hadn't been able to stop completely.
She looked around, and realized she was almost home. *I'll wait till I get there. * She slid the razor blade back into her arm stocking, and sped up her pace.
She stopped in front of her house and took a deep breath as she stepped onto the front lawn, and began to walk to the door.
There was a strange object on the porch. As she got closer, she realized it was a person sitting there.
"Hello?" she called wearily. Ellie stood where she was, waiting for the person to respond.
"Ellie? It's me," the voice groaned.
"Sean?" The way the person moaned made Ellie unsure of who it was.
Ellie approached the step he was sitting on, and soon as she saw him, she took a step back, "Wha . . . what happened?"
His face was drained of all its color. But replacing the natural color were purple bruises, red blood, and a black eye.
Sean hawked a loogie, "Got into a fight."
Ellie rolled her eyes, "I kinda got that. Come on, let's go inside," she grabbed his arm and pulled him up. Almost immediately, he doubled over, clutching his side.
Ellie felt sympathy pains as she draped his arm over her shoulders, and carefully led him inside. They passed the livingroom, and went straight to the bathroom.
"Who did you get into a fight with?" Ellie asked as she pulled the first aid kit out from under the sink.
Sean was sitting on the side of the tub, and he watched as Ellie got the rubbing alcohol out, "Well, uh, Towerz was, uh, talking crap about Marco and Dylan."
Ellie poured some rubbing alcohol onto a cotton ball, and walked over to him, "That's never bothered you before. So, they beat the crap outta you because . . ."
Sean flinched as the cold cotton touched his face, and stung the cuts, "Well, I kinda, uh, told them to stop, and well, they thought it was because of you."
Ellie pulled the cotton away from his face so she could look at him, "What do you mean they thought it was because of me?"
"They thought I was defending Marco because of you. They thought I liked you, or something," Sean shrugged it off.
"And how did this lead to a fight?" Ellie brought the cotton ball back to his face.
"After somebody came up with that assumption, they started being really . . . crude. They wouldn't shut-up, and maybe I got a little angry . . ."
"You tried to fight all of them?" Ellie asked, completely astonished at Sean's stupidity.
"No . . ." Sean began.
"Good," Ellie was relieved, "You couldn't have been that dumb. Wait, then how did you get hurt?"
Sean sighed, "I just went after Jay. His comments were the . . ."
"Sean!" Ellie exclaimed. She poured more peroxide onto the cotton ball, and pressed it harder against his skin than before, making Sean flinch again, "What were you thinking? You know Jay is their God, or something. You pick a fight with him, you pick a fight with the whole gang. Why would you do something like that? It doesn't matter if he says anything about, I don't care Sean."
Sean carefully pushed her hand away from his face, "Ellie, it does matter. For being a person who supposedly doesn't take crap from anybody, you sure let people walk all over you. You need to think you're worth it, Ellie. You need to think that you're worth something, that you're a strong, wonderful person. I know I do."
Ellie had her head down the entire time Sean spoke, but soon as he finished, she couldn't help but look up, "You think I'm a wonderful person?"
Sean was confused by her tone. She didn't sound happy, or angry, maybe . . . shocked? Sean slowly nodded his head, "Ellie, you're smart, beautiful, interesting," he paused as he slowly rolled her arm stocking up, and the blade fell out. He wasn't expecting that, but he didn't change his tone, "You just make some bad decisions," he lightly traced the scars on her arm.
Her immediate reaction was to justify the cuts, even though he had seen the razor blade. Soon as she opened her mouth, Sean knew what she was going to do, and he said, "Ellie, excuses are like ass-holes. Everybody has one, and they all stink," he gave her a small smile that she didn't return.
Ellie looked down at her arm, which Sean lightly held. She felt so ashamed of herself. She cleared her throat, "I need to finish cleaning your cuts," she carefully slid her arm from Sean's grip, and went to roll up her arm stocking.
Sean stilled her hand, "Don't hide who you are when you're around me. If this isn't the person you wanna be, then don't be her."
If the situation hadn't been so serious, Ellie would have laughed at how deep Sean was trying to sound.
She smiled, "Well, you need to stop acting like a badass, cause I know that deep down, you're just a big fluffy bunny," Ellie joked.
Sean rolled his eyes, "No more pretending," he pointed at her arm, "And no more lying. If you cut yourself, tell me. I won't get angry, I'll just be concerned."
Ellie nodded her head, "And if you steal something, tell me. I'll be angry and concerned," Ellie smiled, but her expression quickly changed when she saw the anger in Sean's eyes.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Ellie bit her lower lip, "I just meant that-"
Sean cut her off, "That I'm some kind of criminal?" He stood up and started to walk toward the door.
Ellie jumped up as quickly as she could and ran in front of the door, "You need to cool off Sean."
He stared in her in the eyes, and took a deep breath, before sitting back down. "You can't jump to conclusions like that. Jay does that sort of thing though. He supposedly stole Mr. Simpson's new laptop. And, I don't believe this part, cause I've learned not to buy into rumors, but lots of people think you helped. Some are even going as far as to say it was your idea."
Ellie looked at Sean expectantly. *I don't want to ask him, because then he'll think that I believe he would do something like that. *
There was a long awkward silence, and Ellie began cleaning Sean's face. She was surprised when he spoke, "What if I did?"
"It wouldn't matter," Ellie answered truthfully. If he can deal with my mistakes, I can deal with his.
Sean slowly nodded. Ellie was wondering if he would ever do something like that again, when Sean said, "It will probably happen again."
"Sean, start looking for better qualities in yourself. Don't always assume the worse."
"I don't have any good qualities," Sean admitted.
Ellie unconsciously put her hand on his arm, and was surprised by the large muscles she felt, "Sean, you have a lot of great qualities. You're strong, emotionally and physically, your sweet, considerate, hot, funny, feel free to stop me."
Sean smiled, "You think I'm hot . . ." he teased.
Ellie immediately became defensive, "I didn't mean, well . . . you said I was beautiful."
"I meant it," Ellie suddenly felt how close she was to Sean, and he was coming closer. *Is he gonna kiss me? * She suddenly felt very nervous.
Sean slowly leaned in, and just barely brushed her lips with his own.