Sean walked down the wet sidewalk and looked toward the sky. He tried to find some stars, but it was too cloudy. Sean remembered when he used to walk over to Emma's and they'd sit outside looking at the stars. *She told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be. All I needed to do was try. What was her favorite saying? "Reach for the moon; even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." * Sean smiled fondly at the warm memories. Then he remembered the day they broke up. *She called me pathetic. I don't know why I got so angry with her. I mean, she was right. I am pathetic. Aren't I? *
Sean noticed he was passing by a dark house that he recognized as Ellie's. *I wonder if it's too late to stop by. * He jogged up the walk to the porch. He knocked twice and waited.
Ellie was starting to drift off to sleep, when she heard somebody knock at the door. She rubbed her eyes groggily, but quickly jumped to her feet. She cautiously pulled back a corner of the curtain to see who was at her door. Ellie let the curtain fall back into place as she moved her hand toward the doorknob. She was just about to turn it, when she let her hand slip from the knob. She bit her lower lip, and slowly slid down the door into a sitting position. There were two more knocks, and Ellie winced as she heard them. She heard the sound of retreating footsteps, and she closed her eyes. *He doesn't need my problems right now. He has enough to deal with. *
"Sean! If your ass isn't in that bed, I'm gonna kill you!" Tracker's voice carried down the hall.
Sean opened one eye sleepily. He started to close it as he watched Tracker stomp into his room, "You gotta go to school."
"Tracker, leave me alone," Sean mumbled as he rolled over. *What's the point of even going? *
Tracker sat down on the end of Sean's bed, "Look, lately I don't know what has been going on with you. I figure it has something to do with the people you've been hanging out with. That Ellie girl seems nice, so I don't think it has anything to do with her. I just don't understand how you did this . . . this 180. When you were always over at Emma's, you seemed to have gotten over everything in Wasaga Beach," Tracker shrugged his shoulders, "Man, it's up to you. If you wanna stay home, fine. I'm going to spend all morning getting mom and dad out of the house, but then I got to get to work." He stood up and left before Sean could even turn to look at him.
Sean rolled out of his bed and onto the floor. He heard somebody vomiting in the bathroom. Sean flinched as he heard the familiar sound. *Maybe I should just go to school. I can find Ellie, and see how she's doing . . . * Sean's eyes opened wide. *Wait, Tracker can't even remember if he ate breakfast; how can he remember Ellie?*
Sean got to his feet, and walked out into the kitchen, "Tracker?" He called. He saw Tracker standing at the kitchen counter reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee in his hand.
Tracker looked up from the paper, "Are you going to thank me for sleeping on the floor so mom could have my bed and you got yours back?"
Sean raised one eyebrow, "Yeah, thanks."
Tracker shook his head and went back to reading his paper. Sean grabbed a mug out of the sink, and washed it out, "How do you know Ellie seems like a nice person?"
Tracker took a sip from his coffee, "She stopped by last night looking for you."
Sean stopped scrubbing the cup, "What?"
Tracker turned to look at his little brother, "Last night . . .ya know, when you were in that place with no phones?"
Sean rolled his eyes as he faced his sibling, "I'm sorry about that. Did she say why she stopped by?"
"Just looking for you, I guess," Tracker shrugged his shoulders, and picked up his paper.
Sean walked across the small kitchen, and pushed the newspaper down, "Tracker, this is important. Why did she stop by?"
Tracker glared at Sean, "Excuse you?"
"Fine, whatever. Don't be a good brother. I gotta go," Sean started to walk toward the door.
"I don't know why I would even say this, considering I'm a "bad brother", but you might wanna change before you leave."
Sean walked back towards his room, where he found his mom lying on his bed. He scowled as he grabbed some clothes out of his dresser, and walked back into the livingroom, "They better be gone when I get home," he warned his brother. He changed into a pair of baggy blue jeans, and a wife beater. He tied a blue bandana around his head, and walked toward the door.
"You're going to school right?" Tracker asked as Sean grabbed his sweatshirt and opened the apartment door.
As Sean was about to close the door behind him, he replied, "Eventually."
Ellie stood in front of her bathroom mirror putting on her eyeliner. *Today is going to be a good day.* She told herself. After school she had her co-op job, and that was the only thing that was going to get through the day.
She froze with fear as she heard the door downstairs open. Ellie carefully crept out of the bathroom, and stared down over the banister. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw the top of a blue bandana; but almost as soon as she felt better, she realized he wasn't the person she really wanted to see.
Ellie tried to sneak back into the bathroom, but she had been spotted, "Ellie?"
She heard this feet bounding up the stairs, and turned to look at him, "Hey Sean."
She managed a weak smiled, but Sean could sense something was wrong, "What's going on Ellie?"
"Nothing," Ellie responded quickly, "I'm just getting ready for school," she motioned to the bathroom where her eyeliner was sitting on the counter.
Sean shook his head, "Tracker told me you stopped by last night."
Ellie wasn't sure how to respond. Sean tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't look at him, "Is something wrong?"
Ellie managed to shake her head, and looked him in the eye, "Of course not. Why would anything be wrong?"
Sean opened his mouth to say something, but Ellie cut him off, "We should probably get to school."
She walked back into the bathroom and put her eye-makeup back into her makeup bag. As she was about to walk out, she noticed a bobby-pin sitting on the counter. Ellie checked to make sure Sean couldn't see into the bathroom. She grabbed the bobby-pin and slipped it into her pocket.
She smiled at Sean as she saw him waiting by the stairs. When she saw the distressed look on his face, she knew he was going to ask her something.
"Let's go," she tried to brush past him but he grabbed her arm. She couldn't hep wincing as his fingers touched her most recent cuts.
She looked at his face to see what his expression was. She watched his temples bulge out as he clenched his jaw. His face slowly relaxed as he tried to control his temper, "Ellie, did you cut last night?"
Ellie looked up at him and slowly nodded her head. Sean tried to cover his anger at himself. *If I would've been home when she needed me, she wouldn't have done this.*
"Come on, we need to go," Ellie walked away from him and down the stairs. She checked in on her mom before they went out onto the street. They walked to school in silence.
Manny spotted Craig walking down the hall. She had to run to catch up with him, "Hey Craig."
Craig turned around slowly, fearing the voice that had called him. He tried to smile as he looked around cautiously, "Manny."
Manny glanced at the ground when she noticed Craig was making sure nobody was paying attention to them, "I heard you and Ashley are back together."
Craig ran one hand through his hair, "Um . . .yeah, I guess we are."
"Do . . .do you think we could . . .talk? I mean, later?" Manny seemed very uneasy, which was starting to scare Craig.
"Manny, are you okay?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice.
She attempted to smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Craig could tell she was lying, but he figured there was no point in trying to drag information out of her right then, "Okay, you wanna stop by tonight?"
Manny nodded her head, "I'll be over around seven."
They parted ways, and as Manny turned the corner, she almost ran right into Ashley.
Sean felt really nervous as he walked into Ms. Hatzilakos' class. *I hope she doesn't bring anything up.* He was glad when the class went by without incident.
Lunch was going to be a different story. He could feel it. *They're gonna come looking for me. Towerz and Brad are both gonna be angry.* Soon as the bell rang, he went straight to the computer lab.
He knew exactly what he wanted to research online. *At least I can get something productive done.*
Ellie watched the clock as she waited for detention to be over. *I wonder where Sean's been all day.* Since she was in a grade higher than him, they didn't have any classes together, but she had went looking for him at lunch, and she couldn't find him. She was beginning to get worried that Jay had done something to him.
Finally, the clock showed it was time for detention to let out. Ellie jumped out of her seat, even before the detention teacher said they could leave.
As she ran out of the school's double-doors and down the school steps out onto the street, she heard somebody yell, "Ellie!"
She turned to watch as Sean ran down the steps, and caught up with her. He was holding a plastic bag in his hands, and as he approached her, he put it behind his back, "I got you something."
Ellie smiled, "What is it?"
Sean seemed kind of excited, "Close your eyes and put out your hands."
Ellie couldn't believe how he was acting, but she decided to go along with it anyway.
She felt the plastic bag being set in her hands, "Okay you can open them."
Ellie opened her eyes, some of Sean's excitement had rubbed off on her, so she was a little disappointed when she saw te bag of rubber bands she held in her hands, "Rubber bands?"
Ellie flipped it over, making sure there wasn't some kind of joke written on the back. There wasn't, "How . . .romantic," Ellie said sarcastically.
Sean grabbed one of her hands, and started walking. *Maybe this wasn't such a good idea* He knew he's have to explain himself, so he began, "Well, today during lunch, I went online."
"So you were in the MI class," Ellie said, answering her own question from earlier.
Sean nodded, "Well, anyway, I went to this SI website, and looked at some ways of kicking the habit."
Ellie nodded, vaguely remembering something Ms. Suave said about using certain ways to stop cutting.
"Well," Sean continued, "I read about this one thing called 'Elastic Therapy'. You're supposed to put a rubber band around your wrist, then anytime you feel like cutting, you just snap the elastic against your skin."
Sean watched as Ellie thought this over. *Why did I do that? I wouldn't want somebody to interfere with my problems.*
To his surprise, Ellie opened the bag and picked through the colored bands until she found a red one that matched her outfit.
"Cool," she said, "Where did you get these?"
Sean looked away from her, "They had them in one of the office cupboards."
Ellie smiled, "For office personnel only."
Sean shrugged, "I didn't see a sign."
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! The internet wasn't working, so my parents took it to a repair place or something, and they erased everything on my computer! That really sucked. But anyway, I'll try to update as soon as I can!
Thanks to: JustAnotherDream, Mari, musikchik, PsYcHoJo, Poppyseed, Kaz, Quiet110, BlackRose666, yayiluvit, and krys. You guys are wonderful for reviewing!
Sean noticed he was passing by a dark house that he recognized as Ellie's. *I wonder if it's too late to stop by. * He jogged up the walk to the porch. He knocked twice and waited.
Ellie was starting to drift off to sleep, when she heard somebody knock at the door. She rubbed her eyes groggily, but quickly jumped to her feet. She cautiously pulled back a corner of the curtain to see who was at her door. Ellie let the curtain fall back into place as she moved her hand toward the doorknob. She was just about to turn it, when she let her hand slip from the knob. She bit her lower lip, and slowly slid down the door into a sitting position. There were two more knocks, and Ellie winced as she heard them. She heard the sound of retreating footsteps, and she closed her eyes. *He doesn't need my problems right now. He has enough to deal with. *
"Sean! If your ass isn't in that bed, I'm gonna kill you!" Tracker's voice carried down the hall.
Sean opened one eye sleepily. He started to close it as he watched Tracker stomp into his room, "You gotta go to school."
"Tracker, leave me alone," Sean mumbled as he rolled over. *What's the point of even going? *
Tracker sat down on the end of Sean's bed, "Look, lately I don't know what has been going on with you. I figure it has something to do with the people you've been hanging out with. That Ellie girl seems nice, so I don't think it has anything to do with her. I just don't understand how you did this . . . this 180. When you were always over at Emma's, you seemed to have gotten over everything in Wasaga Beach," Tracker shrugged his shoulders, "Man, it's up to you. If you wanna stay home, fine. I'm going to spend all morning getting mom and dad out of the house, but then I got to get to work." He stood up and left before Sean could even turn to look at him.
Sean rolled out of his bed and onto the floor. He heard somebody vomiting in the bathroom. Sean flinched as he heard the familiar sound. *Maybe I should just go to school. I can find Ellie, and see how she's doing . . . * Sean's eyes opened wide. *Wait, Tracker can't even remember if he ate breakfast; how can he remember Ellie?*
Sean got to his feet, and walked out into the kitchen, "Tracker?" He called. He saw Tracker standing at the kitchen counter reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee in his hand.
Tracker looked up from the paper, "Are you going to thank me for sleeping on the floor so mom could have my bed and you got yours back?"
Sean raised one eyebrow, "Yeah, thanks."
Tracker shook his head and went back to reading his paper. Sean grabbed a mug out of the sink, and washed it out, "How do you know Ellie seems like a nice person?"
Tracker took a sip from his coffee, "She stopped by last night looking for you."
Sean stopped scrubbing the cup, "What?"
Tracker turned to look at his little brother, "Last night . . .ya know, when you were in that place with no phones?"
Sean rolled his eyes as he faced his sibling, "I'm sorry about that. Did she say why she stopped by?"
"Just looking for you, I guess," Tracker shrugged his shoulders, and picked up his paper.
Sean walked across the small kitchen, and pushed the newspaper down, "Tracker, this is important. Why did she stop by?"
Tracker glared at Sean, "Excuse you?"
"Fine, whatever. Don't be a good brother. I gotta go," Sean started to walk toward the door.
"I don't know why I would even say this, considering I'm a "bad brother", but you might wanna change before you leave."
Sean walked back towards his room, where he found his mom lying on his bed. He scowled as he grabbed some clothes out of his dresser, and walked back into the livingroom, "They better be gone when I get home," he warned his brother. He changed into a pair of baggy blue jeans, and a wife beater. He tied a blue bandana around his head, and walked toward the door.
"You're going to school right?" Tracker asked as Sean grabbed his sweatshirt and opened the apartment door.
As Sean was about to close the door behind him, he replied, "Eventually."
Ellie stood in front of her bathroom mirror putting on her eyeliner. *Today is going to be a good day.* She told herself. After school she had her co-op job, and that was the only thing that was going to get through the day.
She froze with fear as she heard the door downstairs open. Ellie carefully crept out of the bathroom, and stared down over the banister. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw the top of a blue bandana; but almost as soon as she felt better, she realized he wasn't the person she really wanted to see.
Ellie tried to sneak back into the bathroom, but she had been spotted, "Ellie?"
She heard this feet bounding up the stairs, and turned to look at him, "Hey Sean."
She managed a weak smiled, but Sean could sense something was wrong, "What's going on Ellie?"
"Nothing," Ellie responded quickly, "I'm just getting ready for school," she motioned to the bathroom where her eyeliner was sitting on the counter.
Sean shook his head, "Tracker told me you stopped by last night."
Ellie wasn't sure how to respond. Sean tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't look at him, "Is something wrong?"
Ellie managed to shake her head, and looked him in the eye, "Of course not. Why would anything be wrong?"
Sean opened his mouth to say something, but Ellie cut him off, "We should probably get to school."
She walked back into the bathroom and put her eye-makeup back into her makeup bag. As she was about to walk out, she noticed a bobby-pin sitting on the counter. Ellie checked to make sure Sean couldn't see into the bathroom. She grabbed the bobby-pin and slipped it into her pocket.
She smiled at Sean as she saw him waiting by the stairs. When she saw the distressed look on his face, she knew he was going to ask her something.
"Let's go," she tried to brush past him but he grabbed her arm. She couldn't hep wincing as his fingers touched her most recent cuts.
She looked at his face to see what his expression was. She watched his temples bulge out as he clenched his jaw. His face slowly relaxed as he tried to control his temper, "Ellie, did you cut last night?"
Ellie looked up at him and slowly nodded her head. Sean tried to cover his anger at himself. *If I would've been home when she needed me, she wouldn't have done this.*
"Come on, we need to go," Ellie walked away from him and down the stairs. She checked in on her mom before they went out onto the street. They walked to school in silence.
Manny spotted Craig walking down the hall. She had to run to catch up with him, "Hey Craig."
Craig turned around slowly, fearing the voice that had called him. He tried to smile as he looked around cautiously, "Manny."
Manny glanced at the ground when she noticed Craig was making sure nobody was paying attention to them, "I heard you and Ashley are back together."
Craig ran one hand through his hair, "Um . . .yeah, I guess we are."
"Do . . .do you think we could . . .talk? I mean, later?" Manny seemed very uneasy, which was starting to scare Craig.
"Manny, are you okay?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice.
She attempted to smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Craig could tell she was lying, but he figured there was no point in trying to drag information out of her right then, "Okay, you wanna stop by tonight?"
Manny nodded her head, "I'll be over around seven."
They parted ways, and as Manny turned the corner, she almost ran right into Ashley.
Sean felt really nervous as he walked into Ms. Hatzilakos' class. *I hope she doesn't bring anything up.* He was glad when the class went by without incident.
Lunch was going to be a different story. He could feel it. *They're gonna come looking for me. Towerz and Brad are both gonna be angry.* Soon as the bell rang, he went straight to the computer lab.
He knew exactly what he wanted to research online. *At least I can get something productive done.*
Ellie watched the clock as she waited for detention to be over. *I wonder where Sean's been all day.* Since she was in a grade higher than him, they didn't have any classes together, but she had went looking for him at lunch, and she couldn't find him. She was beginning to get worried that Jay had done something to him.
Finally, the clock showed it was time for detention to let out. Ellie jumped out of her seat, even before the detention teacher said they could leave.
As she ran out of the school's double-doors and down the school steps out onto the street, she heard somebody yell, "Ellie!"
She turned to watch as Sean ran down the steps, and caught up with her. He was holding a plastic bag in his hands, and as he approached her, he put it behind his back, "I got you something."
Ellie smiled, "What is it?"
Sean seemed kind of excited, "Close your eyes and put out your hands."
Ellie couldn't believe how he was acting, but she decided to go along with it anyway.
She felt the plastic bag being set in her hands, "Okay you can open them."
Ellie opened her eyes, some of Sean's excitement had rubbed off on her, so she was a little disappointed when she saw te bag of rubber bands she held in her hands, "Rubber bands?"
Ellie flipped it over, making sure there wasn't some kind of joke written on the back. There wasn't, "How . . .romantic," Ellie said sarcastically.
Sean grabbed one of her hands, and started walking. *Maybe this wasn't such a good idea* He knew he's have to explain himself, so he began, "Well, today during lunch, I went online."
"So you were in the MI class," Ellie said, answering her own question from earlier.
Sean nodded, "Well, anyway, I went to this SI website, and looked at some ways of kicking the habit."
Ellie nodded, vaguely remembering something Ms. Suave said about using certain ways to stop cutting.
"Well," Sean continued, "I read about this one thing called 'Elastic Therapy'. You're supposed to put a rubber band around your wrist, then anytime you feel like cutting, you just snap the elastic against your skin."
Sean watched as Ellie thought this over. *Why did I do that? I wouldn't want somebody to interfere with my problems.*
To his surprise, Ellie opened the bag and picked through the colored bands until she found a red one that matched her outfit.
"Cool," she said, "Where did you get these?"
Sean looked away from her, "They had them in one of the office cupboards."
Ellie smiled, "For office personnel only."
Sean shrugged, "I didn't see a sign."
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in so long! The internet wasn't working, so my parents took it to a repair place or something, and they erased everything on my computer! That really sucked. But anyway, I'll try to update as soon as I can!
Thanks to: JustAnotherDream, Mari, musikchik, PsYcHoJo, Poppyseed, Kaz, Quiet110, BlackRose666, yayiluvit, and krys. You guys are wonderful for reviewing!