Case 4: Masada, Part 2
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
25 May 2000: "So anyway, Lucas was bathing in the stream and the next thing we heard was a loud, 'What the fuck?!' and a burst of gunfire." Hal continued with his story, "We all thought Lucas had been attacked by something or someone so we all ran over there with our weapons and belt kit only to find him standing naked in waist deep water with his M-16 pointing at something.
"I only wish I had a photograph." Hal replied, "It would have made for some amusing blackmail. The look on his face was priceless, I mean here we are, a bunch of blokes preparing to join Britain's elite military force and we're scared shitless over a stupid five foot long cobra."
"Hal, cobras are poisonous." Ivy replied.
"Not after Lucas practically obliterated its head with most of the magazine in his M-16." Hal replied, "Anyway, we cut off its head, skinned it, and threw it into a pot. It tasted like rubber and not at all like chicken, but that Thai hot pepper sauce made it palatable."
"I take it this must be a much better meal." Ivy said, "Why did you eat that snake by the way?"
"Easy, it seemed to be no point letting it go to waste." Hal replied, "Fresh food's good for morale."
"You had enough rations, right?" Ivy asked.
"We did. During the six weeks at the Jungle Warfare Training Center we appreciated the value of food. We had plenty of boil in a bag rations, but food is important for more than just its caloric value. It's also great for morale." Hal replied, "I remember two blokes from the Paras I served with in Brunei shortly after I got posted to G Squadron for the first time."
"Were they nearly as bad as Lucas." Ivy replied.
"They didn't say much, they were a quiet couple of lads." Hal replied, "They'd used to make a trap at the edge of camp and whatever they'd catch in it they'd kill and make a stew out of. It wasn't half bad some days. One day when our troop commander wanted a feed of fish he tossed a Bangalore torpedo and a pair of hand grenades into the stream. We'd had enough fish to last a lifetime."
"You guys sound like a bunch of destructive overgrown preschoolers with guns." Ivy replied.
"Believe me; quite a few blokes in the unit fit that bill." Hal replied.
"You mean like this Digger character you told me about?" Ivy replied.
"No, I'm thinking more of the Fox brothers and El Supremo." Hal remarked.
"Oh, you mean that guy from the other squadron whom whenever he got drunk he thinks he's a Mexican wrestler named El Supremo." Ivy replied.
"Once around Hereford he put on a pair of spandex wrestling tights and an Aztec patterned ski mask and attacked the mail man." Hal replied.
"You guys certainly have weird people in your ranks." Ivy replied.
"We do, but they're nowhere near as whacked out as Sara Bellum." Hal replied.
Ivy laughed, "You've got a point there, Hal."
Ivy's cell phone rang just then, "Darren."
"Chief, we'll be there after lunch, give us about half an hour to finish up and get to HQ." Ivy replied.
"Leave it to work to interrupt a perfectly good meal." Hal replied.
"And it's on you." Ivy replied.
"You won't let me live that down, will you?" Hal replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
Sitting across from Chief Inspector Wells in his office, Hal and Ivy went through the file he gave them. Aziz Parhouz, Dr. Maelstrom's chief weapon's supplier, had been spotted in the West Bank, right smack in the middle of where the Israelis and Palestinians were currently beating the daylights out of one another.
"Why is he in the West Bank, Chief?" Ivy asked.
"What better place to hide an arms dealer than the middle of the war zone. He's sympathetic to the Palestinian cause and is fervently anti-Israeli, so he's got some sympathetic friends there. So your assignment is to track down and capture Aziz Parhouz." Grant Wells said, "You have the Tel Aviv ACME Field Office and several former ACME detectives on both sides to help you out."
"When do we leave?" Hal asked.
"First thing tomorrow morning." Wells replied, "Any more questions?"
When neither of them replied, Wells dismissed them and they walked out into the hallway.
"Well, are you up to a rematch, Ninja Girl?" Hal asked her.
"Hal," Ivy said, with a wicked grin, "You've just signed your own death warrant.
"I take it the knee isn't bothering you this time?" Hal asked.
"Not at all, and if you try to take it easy on me because of it, you're going flat on your six." Ivy replied.
"Is that a threat?" Hal replied.
"It's a promise." Ivy replied.
"Hal, take it from me." Zack said as he limped out of the lab on crutches, "You're dead."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Ready. Go." Corso shouted, and promptly backed out of the circle where Hal and Ivy were about to spar each other.
Again they circled each other tentatively, both of them launching probing strikes that were either blocked or dodged. Someone had to commit to the first strike and take the offensive. Hal thought he saw an opening and went for it, kicking out with his right foot.
Ivy dodged the kick by a millimeter and sent a roundhouse into Hal's ribcage. Hal buckled slightly, moving off and circling to the right.
"Point. Darren." Corso said. The Delta Force major was serving as the referee for any of Hal and Ivy's sparring matches.
Hal recovered faster than Ivy expected, because he blocked her next strike and hit back with a knee kick of his own that staggered Ivy back a pace. "Point. Olden."
Ivy could see Hal was starting to get cocky, because he was launching several kicks that she managed to block but kept her at a distance. Shouts of points for both Ivy and Hal were echoing, with both of them winding up dead even.
"This last point determines the match." Corso said, the fight having already gone on for a good ten minutes.
Hal, hearing this, struck out with the heel of his palm. Ivy caught him by the wrist and threw him over her shoulder, making him land, dazed, on his back.
"Match, Darren." Corso announced.
"Way to go Ivy!" Tatiana said, "Phil, pay up."
"Damn it." The balding Delta Force sniper said, as he forked over the forty bucks he owed.
Money changed hands as Ivy and Hal bowed to each other and Ivy said, "Not to bad of a strategy there, Limey, keeping me at a distance."
"Thank you." Hal replied.
"Well, I'm off to go back home and get some sleep." Ivy said, "We've got an early flight."
"I know that." Hal replied, "Do you have your bag packed?"
"I always have a bag packed, in case of something like this going on."
"I live closer to the airport than you do, however, so to save time, why don't you spend the night?" Hal replied. At this he blushed as Ivy stopped and stared at him, mouth agape.
"Hal, did you just proposition me?" Ivy asked.
"No, I didn't." Hal replied, "I'm simply saying, to save us some time, knowing how timeliness is one of your main virtues, feel free to spend the night."
"Still, someone might get the wrong idea." Ivy replied.
"Right." Hal replied, thinking, 'Oh that was smart....Invite your partner to spend the night not more than a few days after you had a snag in a budding friendship...For a smart man, you're an idiot Olden.'
'Hal, for God's sake, that was one tempting offer.' Ivy thought, replying, "No thanks, pick me up at five o'clock tomorrow morning, and don't be late."
"I won't be, knowing you, you'll likely call me an hour before I'm due to make sure I'm getting ready to get over there." Hal replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
TBC
Disclaimer: Same as before.
~ ~ ~ ~
25 May 2000: "So anyway, Lucas was bathing in the stream and the next thing we heard was a loud, 'What the fuck?!' and a burst of gunfire." Hal continued with his story, "We all thought Lucas had been attacked by something or someone so we all ran over there with our weapons and belt kit only to find him standing naked in waist deep water with his M-16 pointing at something.
"I only wish I had a photograph." Hal replied, "It would have made for some amusing blackmail. The look on his face was priceless, I mean here we are, a bunch of blokes preparing to join Britain's elite military force and we're scared shitless over a stupid five foot long cobra."
"Hal, cobras are poisonous." Ivy replied.
"Not after Lucas practically obliterated its head with most of the magazine in his M-16." Hal replied, "Anyway, we cut off its head, skinned it, and threw it into a pot. It tasted like rubber and not at all like chicken, but that Thai hot pepper sauce made it palatable."
"I take it this must be a much better meal." Ivy said, "Why did you eat that snake by the way?"
"Easy, it seemed to be no point letting it go to waste." Hal replied, "Fresh food's good for morale."
"You had enough rations, right?" Ivy asked.
"We did. During the six weeks at the Jungle Warfare Training Center we appreciated the value of food. We had plenty of boil in a bag rations, but food is important for more than just its caloric value. It's also great for morale." Hal replied, "I remember two blokes from the Paras I served with in Brunei shortly after I got posted to G Squadron for the first time."
"Were they nearly as bad as Lucas." Ivy replied.
"They didn't say much, they were a quiet couple of lads." Hal replied, "They'd used to make a trap at the edge of camp and whatever they'd catch in it they'd kill and make a stew out of. It wasn't half bad some days. One day when our troop commander wanted a feed of fish he tossed a Bangalore torpedo and a pair of hand grenades into the stream. We'd had enough fish to last a lifetime."
"You guys sound like a bunch of destructive overgrown preschoolers with guns." Ivy replied.
"Believe me; quite a few blokes in the unit fit that bill." Hal replied.
"You mean like this Digger character you told me about?" Ivy replied.
"No, I'm thinking more of the Fox brothers and El Supremo." Hal remarked.
"Oh, you mean that guy from the other squadron whom whenever he got drunk he thinks he's a Mexican wrestler named El Supremo." Ivy replied.
"Once around Hereford he put on a pair of spandex wrestling tights and an Aztec patterned ski mask and attacked the mail man." Hal replied.
"You guys certainly have weird people in your ranks." Ivy replied.
"We do, but they're nowhere near as whacked out as Sara Bellum." Hal replied.
Ivy laughed, "You've got a point there, Hal."
Ivy's cell phone rang just then, "Darren."
"Chief, we'll be there after lunch, give us about half an hour to finish up and get to HQ." Ivy replied.
"Leave it to work to interrupt a perfectly good meal." Hal replied.
"And it's on you." Ivy replied.
"You won't let me live that down, will you?" Hal replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
Sitting across from Chief Inspector Wells in his office, Hal and Ivy went through the file he gave them. Aziz Parhouz, Dr. Maelstrom's chief weapon's supplier, had been spotted in the West Bank, right smack in the middle of where the Israelis and Palestinians were currently beating the daylights out of one another.
"Why is he in the West Bank, Chief?" Ivy asked.
"What better place to hide an arms dealer than the middle of the war zone. He's sympathetic to the Palestinian cause and is fervently anti-Israeli, so he's got some sympathetic friends there. So your assignment is to track down and capture Aziz Parhouz." Grant Wells said, "You have the Tel Aviv ACME Field Office and several former ACME detectives on both sides to help you out."
"When do we leave?" Hal asked.
"First thing tomorrow morning." Wells replied, "Any more questions?"
When neither of them replied, Wells dismissed them and they walked out into the hallway.
"Well, are you up to a rematch, Ninja Girl?" Hal asked her.
"Hal," Ivy said, with a wicked grin, "You've just signed your own death warrant.
"I take it the knee isn't bothering you this time?" Hal asked.
"Not at all, and if you try to take it easy on me because of it, you're going flat on your six." Ivy replied.
"Is that a threat?" Hal replied.
"It's a promise." Ivy replied.
"Hal, take it from me." Zack said as he limped out of the lab on crutches, "You're dead."
~ ~ ~ ~
"Ready. Go." Corso shouted, and promptly backed out of the circle where Hal and Ivy were about to spar each other.
Again they circled each other tentatively, both of them launching probing strikes that were either blocked or dodged. Someone had to commit to the first strike and take the offensive. Hal thought he saw an opening and went for it, kicking out with his right foot.
Ivy dodged the kick by a millimeter and sent a roundhouse into Hal's ribcage. Hal buckled slightly, moving off and circling to the right.
"Point. Darren." Corso said. The Delta Force major was serving as the referee for any of Hal and Ivy's sparring matches.
Hal recovered faster than Ivy expected, because he blocked her next strike and hit back with a knee kick of his own that staggered Ivy back a pace. "Point. Olden."
Ivy could see Hal was starting to get cocky, because he was launching several kicks that she managed to block but kept her at a distance. Shouts of points for both Ivy and Hal were echoing, with both of them winding up dead even.
"This last point determines the match." Corso said, the fight having already gone on for a good ten minutes.
Hal, hearing this, struck out with the heel of his palm. Ivy caught him by the wrist and threw him over her shoulder, making him land, dazed, on his back.
"Match, Darren." Corso announced.
"Way to go Ivy!" Tatiana said, "Phil, pay up."
"Damn it." The balding Delta Force sniper said, as he forked over the forty bucks he owed.
Money changed hands as Ivy and Hal bowed to each other and Ivy said, "Not to bad of a strategy there, Limey, keeping me at a distance."
"Thank you." Hal replied.
"Well, I'm off to go back home and get some sleep." Ivy said, "We've got an early flight."
"I know that." Hal replied, "Do you have your bag packed?"
"I always have a bag packed, in case of something like this going on."
"I live closer to the airport than you do, however, so to save time, why don't you spend the night?" Hal replied. At this he blushed as Ivy stopped and stared at him, mouth agape.
"Hal, did you just proposition me?" Ivy asked.
"No, I didn't." Hal replied, "I'm simply saying, to save us some time, knowing how timeliness is one of your main virtues, feel free to spend the night."
"Still, someone might get the wrong idea." Ivy replied.
"Right." Hal replied, thinking, 'Oh that was smart....Invite your partner to spend the night not more than a few days after you had a snag in a budding friendship...For a smart man, you're an idiot Olden.'
'Hal, for God's sake, that was one tempting offer.' Ivy thought, replying, "No thanks, pick me up at five o'clock tomorrow morning, and don't be late."
"I won't be, knowing you, you'll likely call me an hour before I'm due to make sure I'm getting ready to get over there." Hal replied.
~ ~ ~ ~
TBC