Sorry this has taken me so long to get up! ::bows repeatedly:: I have been
very neglectful of all of my fics, sorry! Had a minor case of writers block
(oh the insanity), then my computer (which has a major attitude problem
like everything else in my house) died on me thanks in large part to my
friend (who sent a virus to me thanks), then followed piles of homework,
and then the plague of my laziness. (There you have it, my excuses for not
updating in a nutshell!)
I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed recently, so here we go (please forgive me if you have been forgotten, I'm an idiot and am not ashamed!):
Morrgaine, The BarrelRacinChiCk, Mia, Sunni07, Stun04, Alina, Fearen, Katalia, Cherryfaerie, Serenity-dmn, Elessar*Lover, and Judy Greenleaf
Thanks to everyone else who has reviewed this fic again, and sorry if I misspelled or forgot your name...heh....heh....anyways. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and again sorry for the delay!
Hope you Still Love,
Arwen
*********************************************************
Alassea tapped her foot impatiently as she awaited Nessa's return. She would have to explain some things to the naive she-elf. Mablung paced uneasily,
"It's not like her to be this late coming back," he noted.
"It's not like her to be falling in love, either," Alassea snorted, "especially with the Prince of all elves!"
Mablung stopped, "Alassea, we cannot stop her, we both know that."
She sighed, "I know, but, we can at least help her to rethink her actions. I already tried warning her, but I don't think she took any of what I said to heart."
"She's not our child," he continued on monotony, "she is only our guest."
Alassea hung her head, "I know," she said softly, "but it's is like with every other one of these runaways. They start to grow on you, and you begin to think of them like a fourth child, and it's hard sometimes to make sure to draw that line. Sometimes it's hard to see within all of the gray areas."
Mablung nodded, "I know."
"And it's even harder letting them go."
He embraced her gently, "I know," he whispered, "but someone's got to help them. I figure this is just my way of giving back all that was given to me all these years."
Alassea smiled, "you know what's scary?"
"What?"
"These kids usually end up teaching us more then we'd ever teach them."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Nessa?" Legolas broke their embrace for a moment, looking into her eyes, "I know this is sudden, but I was wondering,"
"What?"
"Well, my father is having a dinner party, tomorrow actually, and I was wondering, if you are not busy,"
"Just say it, Legolas," she laughed as Legolas turned a light shade of red.
"If you would like to accompany me?"
She smiled, "I would love too, but," she looked at him meekly and whispered, "I do not own any dresses for such an occasion."
Legolas laughed merrily, "you seem to forget quickly where you are, Ness! Do not worry about that, the tailors will see to it that you wear one of the finest dresses in the castle!"
Nessa laughed, "you do not have to go that far! I mean, I am not worth one of the finest dresses! I will probably ruin it anyways!"
He shook his head, and pulled her in close to him again, "no you won't, Ness. And besides, your beauty deserves such a fine dress, I do not think we even own one that would be comparable to your beauty."
Nessa blushed, "Legolas," she whispered, "you think, think I am beautiful?"
He nodded and kissed her passionately, letting his hands run along her back gently. Nessa hugged him tightly, returning the kiss, and found herself wishing that she could somehow stop time and make this moment last forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nessa came home late that night. Her heart was soaring, her face plastered with a smile that not even the valor could take away. Never had she ever felt so happy in all of her life, and she was not about to let go of the feeling anytime soon.
"Nessa," Alassea tried to talk calmly to her, "Nessa do you realize what time it is?"
"I am sorry, Alassea, I just lost track of time I suppose," she said dreamily, not really paying much of any attention to the elves sitting across from her.
"Nessa, you don't understand," Mablung sighed, "you haven't been yourself recently."
She lowered her head, "I am truly sorry, Mablung, I have not been very responsible these past few days." She sighed heavily, "but you must understand, it is not by choice I act this way!"
Alassea snorted, "Nessa, you always have a choice. Stop with your childish nonsense."
"No, no, it is not nonsense, I never meant for any of this to happen!"
"Nessa, you do realize that we won't support you in this," Mablung tried to stay calm, "he is a prince and you are a commoner, there are some things that even love can't change."
"Well I disagree, love changes everything."
"Nessa, you don't understand. If you chose him, you chose to leave us."
Nessa stepped back, "what do you mean?" She asked breathlessly.
Alassea sighed, "Nessa, you are one of the warmest she-elves that I have ever met, I would hate to bring you any harm, but I also know my place in life. As should you."
"What?"
"I will not let you live under our roof, knowing that you are influencing our elflings to disobey our beliefs. Nessa, a prince and a commoner courting, that's preposterous!"
Nessa could feel tears swelling up in her eyes. It was happening again. Every time she disobeyed someone that she not only trusted, but also cared for deeply, she found herself homeless again. She loved Legolas, he knew that, she knew that, it was no longer deniable. But this, she had been accepted into their family like a sister. She had been cared for, thought of, accepted, and maybe even loved by this family. And here they were throwing her out just like that.
"Alassea," she said softly, "Mablung,"
"Do you love him?" Mablung asked calmly, staring directly into her eyes.
"What?" She asked almost breathlessly. She knew that it would take everything that she had not to tell him the truth. She loved this family. In fact, she felt she had become apart of it over the past few months she had spent with them in Mirkwood. This was supposed to be her paradise, Aerandir and Narie had promised her that.
"I said, do you love him?"
Nessa lowered her head, mumbling a stifled, "yes."
"Then please remove yourself from our home. You have stayed here long enough, it's time for you to figure things out for yourself. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two about life."
Nessa felt her heart drop. The dream was over. She had been fooling herself all of this time. She could never be happy, the valor would never allow her such a feeling. This was to be her punishment, a lifetime of pain and regret. But the worst part about it was.......that she still loved him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She had though nothing could ruin that day, but now, now she was crying. She found herself again packing the little things that she owned, expect this time it was backwards. Now she was standing up for a love instead of running away from a forced one.
"Nessa?" A little head peeked inside her small room, "you aren't really leaving are you?"
She tired to smile, wiping a tear from her eye, "Envenyala, you knew it would not be for forever. You knew this day would come," she tried to comfort the young she-elf.
"But, I don't want you to leave. I like you. You're my friend."
Nessa smiled, and placed her arms snuggly around the elfling, "Envenyala, you will always be my friend as well. I will never forget you, and besides I'm not leaving Mirkwood. You will always be able to find me here, I promise."
Envenyala stifled a sob, "but why are you leaving? Is it because we fight so much? I promise! If you will stay we won't fight anymore!"
Nessa pulled back and shook her head, "no, little one, don't you dare think that this was in anyway your fault. It is mine, and mine alone. I made a choice tonight and I chose what I believe to be the best answer. You will not understand, not just yet, but someday. Someday you will understand exactly why."
Envenyala nodded, "you promise you'll visit?"
"Every chance I get, Envenyala, I promise."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She left later that night. Her heart felt heavier, her burden becoming unbearable. This would be the second family she would forsake. Enyd, Adan, Anca, Malwa, and Ireth would never see their sister again. Alassea, Vanya, and Cermine would never really remember her, their aunt, and she just found herself lying to an elfling. Kemen, Envenyala, and Arnarmo would never be able to see her again. She knew that. And yet, she found herself promising that very thing to little Envenyala.
She could not take much more of this. She did not want to deal with one more heartbreak, one more broken promise.
She walked the paths mindlessly that night. A bundle of clothing in one hand, and her bow in another. Her cheeks found themselves once again streaked with tears, running over that old scar of hers. That scar that would never go away. That scar that started this burden.
It wasn't like she wanted to cry. No, she tried holding back all of her tears with all of her might, but sometimes, sometimes it's just all too much. Everyone needs to cry sometime in their life. Not even elves were immune to that disease.
And with that heavy heart she made her way slowly through the night. Unsure of who to turn too. She hadn't many close friends here, ones that would take her in and cheer her up. And Legolas, he was unattainable now. He was the Prince of Mirkwood and she, she was a peasant. What guard would believe that they even knew each other, let alone loved each other.
She was truly alone. Sobbing her sorrows to the ever-present moon. And that was where she found herself that night. Crouched with her arms around her legs crying, behind some abandoned cart in the middle of the marketplace. And for the first time regretted. Doubted. Even hated.
***********************************************************************
Done with deadlines. I'll get the next chapter up when I can. ::sighs heavily::
(I feel bad so it will probably be soon!)
Please don't hate me,
Arwen
I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed recently, so here we go (please forgive me if you have been forgotten, I'm an idiot and am not ashamed!):
Morrgaine, The BarrelRacinChiCk, Mia, Sunni07, Stun04, Alina, Fearen, Katalia, Cherryfaerie, Serenity-dmn, Elessar*Lover, and Judy Greenleaf
Thanks to everyone else who has reviewed this fic again, and sorry if I misspelled or forgot your name...heh....heh....anyways. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and again sorry for the delay!
Hope you Still Love,
Arwen
*********************************************************
Alassea tapped her foot impatiently as she awaited Nessa's return. She would have to explain some things to the naive she-elf. Mablung paced uneasily,
"It's not like her to be this late coming back," he noted.
"It's not like her to be falling in love, either," Alassea snorted, "especially with the Prince of all elves!"
Mablung stopped, "Alassea, we cannot stop her, we both know that."
She sighed, "I know, but, we can at least help her to rethink her actions. I already tried warning her, but I don't think she took any of what I said to heart."
"She's not our child," he continued on monotony, "she is only our guest."
Alassea hung her head, "I know," she said softly, "but it's is like with every other one of these runaways. They start to grow on you, and you begin to think of them like a fourth child, and it's hard sometimes to make sure to draw that line. Sometimes it's hard to see within all of the gray areas."
Mablung nodded, "I know."
"And it's even harder letting them go."
He embraced her gently, "I know," he whispered, "but someone's got to help them. I figure this is just my way of giving back all that was given to me all these years."
Alassea smiled, "you know what's scary?"
"What?"
"These kids usually end up teaching us more then we'd ever teach them."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Nessa?" Legolas broke their embrace for a moment, looking into her eyes, "I know this is sudden, but I was wondering,"
"What?"
"Well, my father is having a dinner party, tomorrow actually, and I was wondering, if you are not busy,"
"Just say it, Legolas," she laughed as Legolas turned a light shade of red.
"If you would like to accompany me?"
She smiled, "I would love too, but," she looked at him meekly and whispered, "I do not own any dresses for such an occasion."
Legolas laughed merrily, "you seem to forget quickly where you are, Ness! Do not worry about that, the tailors will see to it that you wear one of the finest dresses in the castle!"
Nessa laughed, "you do not have to go that far! I mean, I am not worth one of the finest dresses! I will probably ruin it anyways!"
He shook his head, and pulled her in close to him again, "no you won't, Ness. And besides, your beauty deserves such a fine dress, I do not think we even own one that would be comparable to your beauty."
Nessa blushed, "Legolas," she whispered, "you think, think I am beautiful?"
He nodded and kissed her passionately, letting his hands run along her back gently. Nessa hugged him tightly, returning the kiss, and found herself wishing that she could somehow stop time and make this moment last forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nessa came home late that night. Her heart was soaring, her face plastered with a smile that not even the valor could take away. Never had she ever felt so happy in all of her life, and she was not about to let go of the feeling anytime soon.
"Nessa," Alassea tried to talk calmly to her, "Nessa do you realize what time it is?"
"I am sorry, Alassea, I just lost track of time I suppose," she said dreamily, not really paying much of any attention to the elves sitting across from her.
"Nessa, you don't understand," Mablung sighed, "you haven't been yourself recently."
She lowered her head, "I am truly sorry, Mablung, I have not been very responsible these past few days." She sighed heavily, "but you must understand, it is not by choice I act this way!"
Alassea snorted, "Nessa, you always have a choice. Stop with your childish nonsense."
"No, no, it is not nonsense, I never meant for any of this to happen!"
"Nessa, you do realize that we won't support you in this," Mablung tried to stay calm, "he is a prince and you are a commoner, there are some things that even love can't change."
"Well I disagree, love changes everything."
"Nessa, you don't understand. If you chose him, you chose to leave us."
Nessa stepped back, "what do you mean?" She asked breathlessly.
Alassea sighed, "Nessa, you are one of the warmest she-elves that I have ever met, I would hate to bring you any harm, but I also know my place in life. As should you."
"What?"
"I will not let you live under our roof, knowing that you are influencing our elflings to disobey our beliefs. Nessa, a prince and a commoner courting, that's preposterous!"
Nessa could feel tears swelling up in her eyes. It was happening again. Every time she disobeyed someone that she not only trusted, but also cared for deeply, she found herself homeless again. She loved Legolas, he knew that, she knew that, it was no longer deniable. But this, she had been accepted into their family like a sister. She had been cared for, thought of, accepted, and maybe even loved by this family. And here they were throwing her out just like that.
"Alassea," she said softly, "Mablung,"
"Do you love him?" Mablung asked calmly, staring directly into her eyes.
"What?" She asked almost breathlessly. She knew that it would take everything that she had not to tell him the truth. She loved this family. In fact, she felt she had become apart of it over the past few months she had spent with them in Mirkwood. This was supposed to be her paradise, Aerandir and Narie had promised her that.
"I said, do you love him?"
Nessa lowered her head, mumbling a stifled, "yes."
"Then please remove yourself from our home. You have stayed here long enough, it's time for you to figure things out for yourself. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two about life."
Nessa felt her heart drop. The dream was over. She had been fooling herself all of this time. She could never be happy, the valor would never allow her such a feeling. This was to be her punishment, a lifetime of pain and regret. But the worst part about it was.......that she still loved him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She had though nothing could ruin that day, but now, now she was crying. She found herself again packing the little things that she owned, expect this time it was backwards. Now she was standing up for a love instead of running away from a forced one.
"Nessa?" A little head peeked inside her small room, "you aren't really leaving are you?"
She tired to smile, wiping a tear from her eye, "Envenyala, you knew it would not be for forever. You knew this day would come," she tried to comfort the young she-elf.
"But, I don't want you to leave. I like you. You're my friend."
Nessa smiled, and placed her arms snuggly around the elfling, "Envenyala, you will always be my friend as well. I will never forget you, and besides I'm not leaving Mirkwood. You will always be able to find me here, I promise."
Envenyala stifled a sob, "but why are you leaving? Is it because we fight so much? I promise! If you will stay we won't fight anymore!"
Nessa pulled back and shook her head, "no, little one, don't you dare think that this was in anyway your fault. It is mine, and mine alone. I made a choice tonight and I chose what I believe to be the best answer. You will not understand, not just yet, but someday. Someday you will understand exactly why."
Envenyala nodded, "you promise you'll visit?"
"Every chance I get, Envenyala, I promise."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She left later that night. Her heart felt heavier, her burden becoming unbearable. This would be the second family she would forsake. Enyd, Adan, Anca, Malwa, and Ireth would never see their sister again. Alassea, Vanya, and Cermine would never really remember her, their aunt, and she just found herself lying to an elfling. Kemen, Envenyala, and Arnarmo would never be able to see her again. She knew that. And yet, she found herself promising that very thing to little Envenyala.
She could not take much more of this. She did not want to deal with one more heartbreak, one more broken promise.
She walked the paths mindlessly that night. A bundle of clothing in one hand, and her bow in another. Her cheeks found themselves once again streaked with tears, running over that old scar of hers. That scar that would never go away. That scar that started this burden.
It wasn't like she wanted to cry. No, she tried holding back all of her tears with all of her might, but sometimes, sometimes it's just all too much. Everyone needs to cry sometime in their life. Not even elves were immune to that disease.
And with that heavy heart she made her way slowly through the night. Unsure of who to turn too. She hadn't many close friends here, ones that would take her in and cheer her up. And Legolas, he was unattainable now. He was the Prince of Mirkwood and she, she was a peasant. What guard would believe that they even knew each other, let alone loved each other.
She was truly alone. Sobbing her sorrows to the ever-present moon. And that was where she found herself that night. Crouched with her arms around her legs crying, behind some abandoned cart in the middle of the marketplace. And for the first time regretted. Doubted. Even hated.
***********************************************************************
Done with deadlines. I'll get the next chapter up when I can. ::sighs heavily::
(I feel bad so it will probably be soon!)
Please don't hate me,
Arwen