I'll have the R version of this chapter posted at adultfanfiction.net within a couple days. I may be the only author around who writes a PG version first and then has to edit UP to be able to post there. I'm trying to work out a tasteful way to write the R or higher puppet scenes, although I'm not sure that's possible.

The R version isn't being posted here for a couple reasons. First, it might end up being NC-17 and that rating isn't allowed here. Second, some people are underage or prefer not to read R or NC-17 stories.

If you like puppet stories, check out "When Evil Spuppets Attack," on my favorites list. Story #1856232. I'm not sure where the author is going with it, but the first three chapters are good. Angel and Spike are BOTH puppets in this one.

#############

A couple of hours later, they were all aboard the Wolfram & Hart jet on their way back to Los Angeles. Angel had informed them that because of the superior speed of the jet, the trip should only take a few hours.

Within several minutes of getting on the plane, Spike was already bored and Dawn was also looking around for amusement. Angel noticed their distraction.

"You can go watch movies in the other compartment if you want," he suggested, gesturing to the area to the front. "There seems to be a pretty good selection of DVDs in there."

"Not yet," Buffy objected. "First I want to know how we change Spike back to normal."

"I'm not sure," Angel admitted. "I mean, I think he should have started transforming on his own already and just gradually returned to normal the way I did."

Dawn stared at Angel and giggled.

He looked at her blankly. "What did I say?"

"Nothing, really," said Dawn, trying to rein in her laughter. "It's just that I'm picturing what you must have looked like when you were a puppet."

"He was all forehead and scowl," Spike happily volunteered. "Kind of like how he looks now." He nodded at Angel, who was indeed scowling over this description of his puppet form.

Dawn laughed even harder; Angel's scowl deepened, and he retaliated. "Being turned into a puppet isn't flattering to anyone, Spike. You're proof of that."

Before Spike could defend himself, Dawn stepped in for him. "Spike makes a really cute puppet. Every time I look at him, I want to give him a hug."

Angel's lips twitched. Spike went on the attack. "When I was telling you girls stories before about the wee puppet Angel, I forgot the one about how a werewolf took a special liking to him. And how he watched 'Teletubbies' and 'Barney' for three days instead of doing his supposedly important job. Not to mention the breakfast--"

"Spike!" Buffy clapped a hand over his mouth and looked at Dawn, who was in hysterics, and Angel, who was scowling again. "Everyone, stop it. On second thought, a movie seems like a great idea right about now. Dawn, go pick something out and watch it. Spike, come with me. We need to talk."

Since Buffy had a good hold of his arm and looked perfectly prepared to drag him, Spike decided it was best if he went quietly. He trailed Buffy to a compartment near the rear of the plane and watched as she closed the door to give them some privacy. "So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked, hoping Buffy hadn't come up with yet another reason to be mad at him.

She collapsed into the nearest seat. "I just wanted to get out of the other room. Do you and Angel always snipe at each other like that, or do I just bring out the worst in you two? Don't bother to answer that--I don't think I really want to know. I can't wait till we get you fixed and I have one less problem to worry about."

Spike's heart sank. It couldn't have been more obvious; Buffy was just coming back to Los Angeles because she felt guilty for letting him die on the Hellmouth last year. Even though he hadn't stayed dead. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. Buffy only wanted to make sure he was de-puppetized; that was all. Disgusted with himself, he looked away. "You didn't need to come. I don't need you feeling sorry for me."

"Wait a minute." Buffy's voice rose. "You think I'm here out of pity?"

"Well, aren't you?" Spike snapped.

Buffy sighed. "Spike, you really are stupid. Why do you think I'm on this plane right now? I could have just let Angel take you, and not bothered, you dumb--vampire. Puppet. Whatever. I mean, I have a job back in Rome, and I was making friends, plus Dawn has school. Our lives were even almost normal, till you showed up. Staying there would have been easy, and convenient, and comfortable. But instead, I'm on an evil law firm's jet flying halfway around the world to try to get one of my exes turned from a puppet back into a vampire. I didn't ask for anything this bizarre to happen to me today. The fact that I'm sitting here at this exact moment would tell you something, if you stopped and thought for a second."

Spike wasn't about to get his hopes up yet again. He remained silent and waited for Buffy to finish her speech.

Not getting a reaction out of him, she went on. "I love you, Spike. I tried to tell you that on the Hellmouth and you wouldn't believe me and there wasn't any time to make you, but now there is."

Spike couldn't take anymore. "You didn't love me when I didn't have a soul and then you didn't love me when I got one, and now you're claiming you do just because you're happy I'm alive. You don't need to keep lying to me."

Buffy looked him in the eye. "You still don't believe me? Fine. I'll prove I love you like you are right now--puppet body and all. If I can't convince you, then I promise I'll never say another word about it. Deal?"

Cautiously, Spike nodded. He couldn't help feeling incredibly curious about how Buffy intended to provide this proof. Besides, he didn't think she'd let him out of the room in one piece if he didn't agree to her terms.

"Come here." Buffy beckoned him closer.

Three big puppet steps and Spike was standing in front of her. Even seated, Buffy was taller than he was. She looked down upon him. "How are we going to do this? I guess you'll have to sit on my lap."

"What?" Spike yelped as Buffy grabbed him and pulled him upward.

Once Spike was seated on, yes, Buffy's lap, she tentatively touched his arm. "This isn't so bad. It's almost like old times, right?"

Since he found that he couldn't agree, Spike settled for simply not saying anything. He felt like he might fall off of Buffy's lap at any second. Plus, he wasn't quite sure what she wanted him to do, so he settled for merely maintaining his balance.

Her hand slowly stroked up his arm, which felt pretty good, and moved over to his face. His soft, smooshy, felt face. Spike caught the slight grimace Buffy valiantly tried to hide, and saw the way her spine stiffened a moment before her lips descended upon his. Except that as a puppet, he didn't exactly have lips anymore. Buffy scrabbled for purchase against his mouth before suctioning on.

Spike was extremely disappointed to find that he wasn't really getting anything out of the kiss. Buffy's lips felt so hard, nowhere near the softness of his own mouth. Surely they hadn't always been so firm. He didn't know how he'd ever been able to stand it in the past. It was damp, too, and he could feel her teeth pressing into him. Even when Buffy changed angles, the experience remained frustratingly unmoving. Nevertheless, Spike waited it out. He was giving Buffy every possible chance.

When she finally withdrew, he couldn't have been more relieved. Buffy looked like she shared this emotion, since she shook her head and spat out a bit of lint before speaking again. "I'm sorry, Spike. I just can't do this. It's like making out with Mr. Gordo. Not that I ever did make out with Mr. Gordo, of course, because, stuffed pig and all, but..." Her voice trailed off; then she picked back up. "I mean, you're made of fabric, and you don't have lips, and you're missing two fingers, and even after all this you don't believe me. I can see it in your big felt eyes."

Feeling Buffy's muscles tense under him, Spike hopped off her lap just before she stood up and rushed out of the room. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened, so he crept out of the compartment well behind Buffy and watched as she hurried past Angel and into the front section to join Dawn. During the few seconds the door was open, Spike heard Dawn's eager question of, "Buffy, were you just making out with the Spike puppet? What was it like?"

He groaned and looked away, only to realize that Angel had caught every word. That settled it; he was never going to live this one down.

TBC