Distribution: This story cannot in part or whole be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may only be distributed with author's permission and must include all disclaimers.
Disclaimer: Cole Turner, Darryl Morris, Prue, Piper, Paige, and Phoebe Halliwell. Leo Wyatt, Jenna, and Andy Trudeau and all other characters that have appeared on the series "Charmed" as well as the concept of Charmed and all backstory are the copyright property of Aaron Spelling, E. Duke Vincent, and the WB Television Network. No copyright infringement was intended. All original characters as well as the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
Okay guys here it is. I know the wait has been long and I once again apologize for that. Now for those that are waiting for the rest of the Charmed Ones and Leo to show up they will… but not in this chapter. They should be in the next chapter or the one after that… I promise that they will be there soon though.
Now a warning. This chapter contains a revisiting of the rape of little Cole, as you read the chapter you will understand why. For those that can't handle this please email me directly and I will email you an edited version of this chapter.
Once again this chapter is Rated-R for violence and adult themes. Please heed this warning.
Oh and please review… Muse simply lives for review !!!
And one more thing…. Thank you Tia and welcome to boys' world
Tim and Piper appeared in the much-used utility closet on the first floor of the hospital, it was and could only be locked from the inside. Pandy and Pee Wee appeared a second later. Piper quickly reached down and grabbed both furry ones as Tim checked to make sure the coast was clear.
"Okay now I have to check in with Nurse Cratchett and then…… what?" Tim asked as both of Piper's eyebrows shot up.
"You are kidding with that name right?" Piper was doing everything with in her power right now to NOT think about what Leo and her sisters had done to Cole and Darryl.
"No I am not kidding and believe me when I say that she more than lives up to the moniker, more than lives up to it." Tim shuddered without even realizing it, which caused Piper to tilt her head questioningly. "Darryl nicknamed her 'The Wicked Witch of the North' the day Nurse Cratchett first found her way into Uncle Cole's room brandishing her very long needle that she planned to stick in my Uncle Cole's backside. Fortunately for her I was able to get her out of there before Grams turned her back into Stuart Little." Tim suddenly realized that he was rambling and closed his mouth. Taking a deep breath to center himself he turned to face Piper. "Sorry about that. It's just that I am worried about Uncle Cole and Darryl and when I get worried I tend to ramble, sorry."
"That's okay, I'm worried about them too." Piper said as she held Pandy just a little tighter with one hand while holding Pee Wee with the other. She watched Tim watch her, looking into her eyes searching for something but before she could ask what he was looking for she saw him smile at her.
"You really are worried about Uncle Cole." Tim had been looking, searching Piper's eyes using his own Talents. As an Elfin Wizard he had the ability to "see" into people's souls, to know if they were telling the truth. This particular Talent was the main reason that Elfin Wizards were so highly prized and why many had become slaves to Demon masters; of course an equal amount "served" the Elders in very much the same way and under the same conditions. This Talent was also the reason that he knew what he did about his Uncle and Darryl. Neither knew that he could see into their souls as well, Grams had told them that he couldn't for their own protection. His Uncle needed time to adjust to his new life, as did Darryl; so when he had come to their hospital room after his Uncle and Darryl had completed the first Bond, and Uncle Cole had asked him what he saw, Grams had stepped in and told them that he couldn't see into their souls because of the Bond. If he hadn't been looking he would have missed the brief flash of relief in his Uncle's eyes at this news.
A few days later when he was talking to his Uncle Cole about the decorating of their new home, he had looked into his Uncle's soul and what he saw had given him nightmares for months. He had tried to read his Uncle once before but Big Belthazor had stopped him. This time there was no Big Belthazor to stop him, although after he had seen he had wished there had been. When he had looked into Darryl's soul later in the week he simply added to his own nightmares. Darryl may not have been raised in the Underworld like his Uncle had but that didn't mean he hadn't had a hard life; Tim found out that day just how hard Darryl's life had been and once again his tears fell as they had for his Uncle. Piper's voice brought him back to himself.
"I do care about Cole, I really do Tim. I'm just sorry that it took this to make me see how much I do care. Now I'm rambling." Piper shook her head at her own inability to express herself. Normally she was very articulate but right now she was finding it hard to put two sentences together. Fortunately for both her and Tim, Pee Wee decided to step in.
"Tim. I think it would be best if you checked in with the Wicked Nurse of the North, quickly checked in and then quickly return so that we can get to the boys room. This part of the hospital is not warded after all." Pee Wee and Pandy could see that Tim and Piper were going to need some help but they could also see that this was a prime opportunity for Piper to begin to learn about Cole.
"I'll be right back. Don't move, any of you." Tim quietly opened the door after having checked to make sure that the coast was clear and slipped out. He didn't want to be gone long because right now he was responsible for all of them and he had no intentions of letting anything happen to any of them. When he reached the nurse's station where the doctor's checked in and found Sally behind the counter instead of Nurse Cratchett he breathed a sigh of relief. His relaxation didn't last long though.
"Oh there you are Doctor Stephenson." Sally smiled up at the doc as he signed off on two patients and ordered a few tests for two others. She really didn't want to be the one to have to tell him but seeing as how everyone else seemed to have taken a powder it was up to her. "Uhm before you disappear again." Sally stopped to clear her throat, which caused Doc Stephenson's head to shoot up; she could tell that he knew something was up. He raised his hand though as she drew a breath to continue.
"Sally, my dear dear dear friend. You don't see me, you didn't see me, and you haven't seen me all day." Tim smiled once before dashing away knowing that she could easily rain on his plans. Tim planned on telling Piper about his Uncle Cole. If Piper was to be a part of the Prophecy then she would have to learn her lessons and learn them fast for the time of the Whirlwind was almost upon them and everyone must be ready to play their part when the time finally came. He thought about how he was going to handle Piper's lessons as he made his way back to the closet.
"Okay guys the coast is clear but Grams didn't lift the protection spells enough for us to make it down the magical way so we are going to have to use the lift." As he took Pee Wee from Piper's grasp he could see the tilt of her head again. "She re-enforced all of the protection spells when…" He couldn't finish as he realized what he was about to say but he didn't have to finish.
"When we showed up, to protect Cole from us." Piper help Pandy even closer as she fought to keep from crying, but her mind simply would not stop showing her images of Cole. She saw flashes of a blind Cole laughing with Darryl; of their quiet reading time this morning; of Darryl carrying a sleeping Cole like a child in his arms; of a sleeping Cole, whimpering as he searched blindly for Darryl. The images kept flashing through her mind as she fought to control her raging emotions, most powerful was her emerging self hatred. This self-hatred only grew as her mind replayed for her events that happened while Cole had been living with them.
She saw Cole lying on the ground bleeding from a stab wound from the Source. Cole had used his sensing power to find Paige knowing that the Source might also find him, which he did and Cole almost died because of it.
She saw Cole lying at the foot of the stairs barely conscious as she slashed him across the chest with her Fury Talons. He had willingly chosen to play bait to save her knowing that he could die doing it.
She hadn't been awake at the time but Leo had told her of how Cole had stepped into the line of fire and was hurt while being captured so that they could find her and save her when the Source had kidnapped her and gotten into her mind. He had risked his life, again, to save hers and she had never thanked him for it.
She remembered the look of pain on his face when she had asked him if anything was wrong and he had said only that he had a headache. She had seen the sudden onset of pain and yet she did nothing but smile and send him on his way.
She remembered the look lost look on his face when Belthazor was vanquished.
He had looked so lost that day, actually he looked lost for quite a while after that. I wonder why?
She was brought out of her thoughts as the lift doors opened and Tim pulled her inside, she hadn't even realized they had made it to the lift until she saw the doors start to close. As she looked up at the sound of someone calling Tim's name she caught sight of a middle-aged nurse wearing a look that would make any drill sergeant proud. "Tim?" When she looked over to her companion she saw what could only be described as a 'cat-who-ate-the-canary-look' spread across his face as he gleefully waved at the oncoming nurse. It took her a second but then she made the connection. "I take it that was Nurse Cratchett?" She couldn't help but roll her eyes at his most self-satisfied response.
"Oh yes that was the Wicked Nurse of the North all right. Hey Darryl is the one that nicknamed her not me." Tim defended himself to Piper's rolling eyes. He was actually glad that she had retained at least some of her sense of humor because he was positive that she was going to need it before all was said and done.
The trip to the boy's floor was made in silence as Tim tried to get his thoughts in order as to what he was going to tell Piper. He didn't want to overwhelm her but where did he start. In the end he decided to simply let her ask the questions and he would do the best he could in answering them. He looked down as he felt Pee Wee lift his head up and he could just swear that the little fur ball was smiling at him. Shaking his head he led Piper from the elevator to Grams' office. As soon as he opened the door and let her pass he realized what he had done and he wasn't sure if he should undo it or not as he watched Piper start looking around the room at all of the photos.
The office was wedding planning central and there was 'planning debris' as his Uncle Cole and Darryl called it lying out all over the place. Both his Uncle Cole and Darryl were having fun helping in the planning but they were men and apparently it didn't matter what species you were, if you were the male of it there were some things that would always elude you… such as the finer points of wedding planning. He laughed a little to himself as he remembered the look on the boys' faces when they simply couldn't understand the finer points of who would sit at which table. They both had made the mistake of saying "what difference does it make… this is the Nation and we are all family". He remembered the looks on Grams and the twins' faces and how the twins had moved to sit in their respective mates lap, telling them that they didn't have to understand it and that they would take care of it. The look that then passed between his Uncle Cole and Darryl told him that neither of them had a clue and decided to shut up before they put their foot into it again. Piper's startled voice brought him out of his musings.
"Oh my God." Piper couldn't believe what she was looking at. There on the desk sat a picture of Cole, Darryl, and the twins at the beach. What had startled Piper was all of the little kids running around them. In the picture Cole and Darryl were buried up to their necks in the sand and the kids, 3 boys and 4 girls, none of them older than seven years old were making sand sculptures on and around the two men. The twins were sitting by the boys' heads; each was stroking their fiancé's hair and keeping the sun out of their eyes at the same time. Darryl had a mermaid tail and a wand in his sculpted right hand while Cole had a long flowing robe and wings just like an angel.
"That was taken about nine months ago on Tulum Beach. The kids are all Half-Bloods. They don't get to play much yet." Tim smiled as he remembered the day. Ever since his Uncle Cole had settled into his life with Darryl and the Twins, Tim had been able to spend more time with him that he had in pretty much his whole two lives.
"What do you mean 'don't get to play' much yet?" Piper didn't understand and she was determined to understand as much as she could so that she could be a better friend to Cole, and maybe just maybe he would let her call him big brother like Prue does. She didn't know why it mattered so much to her and right now she didn't really care if it was for a magical reason or not, all she cared about was earning Cole's forgiveness and trust so that she could look in the mirror and like the person looking back.
"Well none of them have an active power so it's dangerous for them to be out without a protector." Tim looked to Piper and he could see it in her eyes. She wanted more, she wanted to know why and who and he wasn't sure she was ready for either answer. The more Piper stared at him though the more he came to understand how deep her need was. "How much do you know about the Nation?"
Piper repeated what Grams had told her at the hospital and what she had figured out by watching and listening. He realized that she had the general gist of who and what they were but he still wasn't sure. "Piper, do you really want to know?" Her eyes said it all so he simply decided to tell her the truth to any and all questions that she was going to ask him.
"They need a protector from the Hound Demons, the elite demonic hound type unit that the Source had made to hunt down Half-Bloods when the Seer told him of her plan. The Source maybe gone but the Hound Demons are independent of him and they are still out there. They can multiply and they are never all in one place. Ever since Uncle Cole linked with Darryl he has been trying to find a permanent solution to the Hound problem, but so far no luck. Because of this, our younger ones always have a protector with them whenever they leave the Nation Safe Zone."
"The Hound Demons aren't the only problem are they?" Piper could see that Tim was holding back and as she clutched Pandy a bit tighter in her arms she said something she never thought she would ever say. "Their protectors protect them from demons yes, but also from witches right?" She knew that she was right when she saw him look down to Pee Wee who was still laying in his arms "But they are just children, surely the Elders don't see children as a threat do they?" She almost hated herself for even asking the question but she had to know. Was it true, were the Elders capable of killing innocent children? Suddenly she remembered what Cam had told her about her baby sister. Cam's sister would have only been around ten when she died when she was killed you mean her mind practically yelled at her. Things were fast spiraling out of control for her. Everything she thought she knew was turning out to be an out and out lie or such a twisting of the truth that the truth was barely recognizable within the jumble of half-truths and omissions. Pandy's voice snapped her mind back on track as she looked down at the puppy held safely in her arms.
"Piper, I know that this is hard for you. It's like asking you to unlearn the basics that have gotten you this far, and even saved your life on a few occasions. We aren't saying that the Elders are bad or evil, simply unenlightened to the true nature of the world and forces around them." Pandy could see the turmoil in her charge and it hurt the furry one, especially knowing that it had only just begun.
"It is their arrogance, their self-centered belief that they and they alone have the right to choose who is worthy of their idea of saving. They have laws and rules, laws and rules that they themselves created yet which they themselves consistently either ignore or rewrite to suit their own personal agendas of the moment." Pee Wee didn't mean to sound harsh but the Elders held a particularly low spot on his morality chart. When it came down to it he found Demons to be more honest and honorable than the much-lauded Elders. The Elders have lied, cheated, omitted facts, turned a blind eye, and even killed to fulfill their plans. On the whole not a problem except for the fact that they claimed to be helping you, trying to save you while the whole time they were trying to get rid of you without making themselves look bad. Demons are out to get what they can, they are going to try and kill you and they make no qualms about. When you ask a Demon why he/she killed they will tell you because they were following orders or because the price was right or because they were trying to make points to impress an upper level Demon or because they simply wanted to. When you ask the Elders they simply say that "it was for the best" or "everything happens for a reason" or "it wasn't meant to be" and all the while smiling to themselves that they had succeeded in maintaining their own agenda. Demons left behind brokenhearted loved ones whose hearts would mend with time; the Elders left behind destroyed lives that merely limped along until finally dying. Pee Wee was jarred from his thoughts by Pandy's somewhat loud voice.
"Pee Wee now is not the time for that." Pandy had heard all of Pee Wee's thoughts and understood them perfectly. As the Keeper of the Sight, Pee Wee had been privy to all of the lies and deceptions of the Elders and the Black Council and his furry companion had long ago given up hope of ever changing the Elders ways. Yes the Black Council were evil but the Elders were worse because they covered their deeds with a holy-like attitude. Pandy could tell that his friend was becoming agitated and she couldn't help but notice the similarity to Cole. Cole had a unique ability to see the many variations on a theme and to see where they would ultimately play out to, a rare talent indeed and probably one of the deciding factors in his ultimate survival up till now. Oh there had been very bad choices but those were usually made in the heat of the moment or when it came down to the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few and for Cole he was always the few. Cole also became highly agitated when his friends and family were put in the line of fire especially when he thought of himself as the cause of the danger and Pee Wee did the very same thing. Pandy laughed a little to herself before Piper's spoke up.
"Not the time for what?" Piper didn't know exactly what was going on but she had a bad feeling she wasn't going to like where this day was going to take her.
"Piper there is a lot that you are going to have to absorb in a relatively short period of time. Now we know that some of it will be painful to hear and difficult to accept but we don't have a lot of time here. The day of the Ascension is in five days and you must be ready to join the Ascension of your own free will and with a free heart and mind." Pee Wee's words were not loud but powerful nonetheless.
"And if I can't?" Piper knew she was going to be sorry that she asked and she was right.
"If you can't then there will be no Ascension."
"And?" She knew that there was an and here as well.
"Everyone connected to the Ascension directly will die." Pee Wee didn't like what he was going to have to say but he had to, she had the right to know. He could only hope that his words would help and not hurt the future. "The unborn ones will die when the Twins die, then Prue and Benjamin, and then Cole and Darryl after they have suffered the deaths of the others. Snuggles, Bearlock, and I will die with the boys. Pandy will remain with you through out your life time." Pee Wee didn't say another word as he let what he said settle with her now horrified mind. He could tell by her eyes that she was beginning to see, he just hoped that she would accept in time. "It is called Destiny Piper and it isn't always pretty but it is always right. You were destined to be a part of this Whirlwind that is coming, destined from the beginning whether you knew it or anyone else did. This is where you belong Piper and when you finally give yourself over to it and them you will learn what true acceptance really feels like."
Piper simply stared at the picture she still held in one hand. She had always thought that she was destined to be a Charmed One. She never thought that there could be anything or anyone that could come between her and the Charmed Ones; they were supposed to be the ultimate power of Good, the defenders of the innocent. But have you really done that? She asked herself. Have you protected the innocents or only those that the Elders deemed worthy of help? Piper had been able to answer these questions readily and with pride a year ago, but now the answers weren't that easy anymore.
Ever since Prue had started to come and talk to her she had started to see things differently. It was only a little in the beginning but the more she and Prue talked the more she began to see things differently, it just wasn't until now that someone actually put voice to what she had begun to fear. The Charmed Ones had lost their way. She looked at the picture again, at a man she had killed without even trying to save and she suddenly realized something, here was a man that had protected his people for a hundred years and never once wavered in duty, a man who silently sacrificed everything in the name of that duty. She looked more closely at Cole's face in the picture, of the way he was looking at the children running around him and one word echoed in her head…Love. He didn't do what he did out of duty to any one person but out of duty to his own heart and the love that that heart held.
"It was a mask."
"What was a mask Piper?" Tim knew what she was talking about but he asked anyway. It was a way in, a way to begin to show her who his Uncle Cole and Darryl really were. When she turned and looked at him he knew what he was going to have to do, he just didn't know how he was going to do it. He didn't share a bond with Piper since she wasn't of the Nation… yet.
"The Cole that I knew before. It had to be a mask." Piper was starting to figure out a few things on her own and she wasn't liking what she was coming up with.
"Why?" Tim and Pee Wee asked at the same time.
"He's so different, so… open and…" Piper just couldn't say it because once she did she would have to accept responsibility for what she had done, she would have to open her eyes even more. But isn't that what you want to do? She asked herself. She brought her eyes back to the picture in her hand, back to his face. "Childlike."
The word had been almost a whisper but Tim had heard it. She had given him this opening now he only had to figure out how he was going to use it and if she would be strong enough for what was to come.
"That's because he is like a child in many ways Piper. You have to understand that it was Belthazor that you had dealt with in the past."
"Not exactly Tim, it was more like a combination but one that was 75% Belthazor and 25% Cole." Pee Wee said as he saw where Tim was going. "Cole's emotions, his emotional self if you will hid himself away when he was very young."
"Why?" Piper knew she wasn't going to like the answer but she had to know if she was going to have any hope in understanding this man that she had so wronged in the past.
Pee Wee looked up to Tim and got an idea. "Tim can you project?"
"Yes. Why? You're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you? You are thinking it. Pee Wee I'm not sure…" Tim wasn't sure if Piper could handle it, hell he wasn't sure he could handle it himself but the look in Pee Wee's eye told him that they had no choice. Piper had to understand in order to accept her place among them and this would be the fastest way and since there time was short. "Alright what do you want me to show her?" He didn't like this but he would do it anyway. He loved his Uncle Cole and if this would help then he would do it.
As Pee Wee thought about which things to show Piper, Tim drew a Circle of Power on the floor of the office. Within the Circle the images would remain, and so would they until it was finished.
"She already knows about certain events but hearing isn't the same as seeing. There are key events that she needs to witness. The Dagger; the branding; the…Braitis incident; the possession; the release of his father's soul. I know Tim but it has to be done." Pee Wee could see the pain already showing in Tim's eyes but he knew that Piper had to see to truly understand, he just hoped that she would be strong enough for this.
"We need to show her the Wasteland as well." Tim knew that Pee Wee was right but he also had an idea of something she needed to see to understand. He looked to Piper as he worked on the Circle. She had put the picture down and was holding onto Pandy as if her life depended on it. He couldn't blame her, she already had heard about some of the things that she was to see and she had cried at the simple telling of the incidents. Incidents… ha! They weren't mere incidents. Why does the universe take such perverse pleasure in tormenting my Uncle Cole? Why is it determined to see him hurt at every turn? Why does it show him no mercy? Tim had been asking himself these very questions for years now and he was no closer now to an answer than he had been the first time.
"Okay all set. Piper could you please step inside the circle?" Tim held his hand out to her as she slowly made her way to the edge of the Circle. He could see her hesitation and he understood it, she had heard about some of the things they wanted to show her and she was afraid of actually seeing them played out before her and he couldn't blame her in the least. A smile though found its way to his lips a moment later as he watched her square her shoulders and walk into the Circle. Her grip on Pandy looked almost painful to him but Pandy didn't seem to mind. If he didn't know better he would have sworn that he saw a tear fall from Pandy's eye. When he looked to Pee Wee he realized that he hadn't been imaging things as he saw a tear fall from the kitty's eye as well.
Circle that surrounds us
I call upon your Power
Show us that which we seek
By letting the past be revealed
To the eyes of we four
Tim spoke the words he needed to activate the Circle to show them the past. The room around them dissolved into a mist and when it finally coalesced it began to show them the first nightmare that was his Uncle's past.
Tim, Pee Wee, and Pandy had, for various reasons already seen these memories so they were able to concentrate on Piper and her reactions to them. None of them knew what her reaction to seeing these things first hand would be; they all simply hoped that she would be strong enough.
Piper took a look around though she never moved from her spot. When she turned and saw little Cole she couldn't stop the small gasp from escaping her lips. He was wearing what Piper thought were turn of the century clothes as he sat on a rock in the cave. She could see the scared look on his little face, but she could also feel his fear. "He's so scared." Her words were whispered but the others heard her. "I can feel it."
"She can feel his emotions?" Tim looked to Pee Wee, not sure what was happening here. His power was projection but that was only visual, he didn't have the power to project emotions.
"It's the link, somehow she is tapping into it." Pee Wee was watching Piper as she watched the demon grab little Cole from behind and carry him to the stone slab in the middle of the room.
"But she isn't linked to any of us yet so how can she be using the link and for that matter the link can't show her his emotions. What is happening Pee Wee?" Tim wasn't liking this one little bit. It was one thing to show Piper the past so she could better understand Uncle Cole but to allow her to feel his emotions, it just felt wrong to him. Pee Wee's next words though helped to alleviate some of his fears.
"It's Destiny Tim, it's trying to make sure that Cole and Darryl live and for that to happen Piper must accept her place with them." Pee Wee said as he continued to watch Piper's reactions.
"The Balance is trying to protect itself." Pandy said as Piper tightened her hold on her again as she watched little Cole being chained to the stone and the potion shoved down his throat.
Tim thought about what Pee Wee and Pandy had said and it made sense to him, but somehow he still felt that he was violating his Uncle Cole's trust by letting this happen. "Pee Wee I can't do this. These are his memories and it just feels wrong somehow."
"I know Tim, I know but she wouldn't be able to tap into them unless she was supposed to. Right Pee Wee?" Pandy said as she briefly turned her attention away from Piper who was transfixed by what was happening around them.
"Pandy is correct Tim. The Balance will do what it has to as it moves into the Time of the Whirlwind." Pee Wee looked to Tim once again as he spoke. He could see Tim's inner struggle but he could also see when Tim finally gave himself over to the idea.
Tim and Pee Wee both turned their attention to the scene around them and quickly had to move to Piper when they saw her start to fall.
Piper felt Tim come up beside her and grab her. She was glad for his presence as her legs began to give out on her. The scene before her was a nightmare. The fear in little Cole becoming unbearable as she watched his little body stop moving.
"Oh God he's still awake… they're going to … to do that to him while he's awake." Piper couldn't hold back her tears. Hearing about what had happened in no way prepared her for this, for a little boy's terror.
She had felt his deep sadness when they had taken his clothes from him and she knew why, they had been the last connection he had had to his father. That feeling quickly turned to fear as his mother forced the potion down his throat. Fear turned to terror as he lost control of his own body, the demon locking his wrists into the shackles and securing them over his head and into the stone slab. The pain and fear she felt from him as the demoness, his mother, cut into his eyes was overwhelming. When she felt a numbness begin to creep over her she realized that it was little Cole reaching his threshold, his body in too much pain and his mind too scared to think anymore. She remembered his mother saying that the potion would also keep him awake and she suddenly felt sick as she realized that little Cole wouldn't pass out like she felt he would because he couldn't.
It had felt like an eternity to Piper but eventually little Cole could move again but he was still hurting and secured to the stone slab.
"How long?" Her question for all of them but it was Tim who answered.
"He's been there for seven hours and she won't come back for another six. She won't be back until tomorrow." Tim replied in answer to her questioning look. When the look was replaced with yet another look he knew what she was thinking. "Time is working differently for us in the Circle. You have felt what he felt, now think of feeling like that for thirteen hours." They all watched as a look of horror washed over her. "Yes Piper, she left him there for thirteen hours.
"And then she… she… "Piper just couldn't being herself to say it so Pee Wee said it for her.
"And then she pinned him to the cave wall for the first time after she brought him back to their living quarters; leaving him there for another twelve hours." Pee Wee said while looking at the little boy laying motionless on the stone slab. The Athame that he had just seen created was the very Athame that Letore had used to take his eye from him, stealing his Sight so he couldn't use it to help the Chosen One, the very boy she had tortured in the making of it. He felt a tear fall from his whisker, a tear for the little boy that never got to be.
Tim looked around them as the walls began to disappear and were replaced with the walls of Gram's office. He looked up to the wall clock and realized that they had in fact been gone for only a few hours. He was about to ask but Pee Wee beat him to it.
"Okay it looks like we are going to get a rest period but it also appears that were aren't leaving the Circle either." Pee Wee had reached his little furry paw out and had met a wall of power. "Nope definitely not going anywhere." He turned his eye to check on Piper and found her on the floor. She was sitting Indian style with Pandy held close to her chest as she stoked Pandy between the ears while slowly rocking back and forth.
"How could anyone do that to him? He was just a little boy." Piper's tears flowed freely as the images replayed themselves in her head. She realized that the images that she had already seen and those that she will see, they would stay with her forever. A fitting penance Piper's mind told her and she readily agreed with it.
She's punishing herself Pee Wee and that is not what this was supposed to be about. Pandy thought to Pee Wee.
Pee Wee could plainly hear the worry in Pandy's thoughts. Don't worry. Just give her a minute. I think she is traveling in the right direction.
Tim for his part was watching Piper closely. He had seen her sink to the floor and stare off into space, her tears falling as she slowly rocked back and forth.
"Grams was right."
"Right about what Piper?" Pee Wee asked.
"Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes." She kissed the top of Pandy's head. "She was right. We never asked him anything; never truly let him in far enough so that he would feel safe enough with us to tell us. He had a plan, one that we undermined with our own nearsightedness, our self-righteousness. We never listened, never heard and for that he paid with his life."
As Piper fell silent, Tim looked to Pee Wee and Pandy. "What is happening here?" He could tell that they knew something he didn't and right now he needed to know what it was, after all this was his Uncle's life that they were talking about and he would do whatever he had to to protect him. It was Pee Wee that looked to him.
"She is seeing, for the first time she is seeing Cole as a person and as she sees him as a person instead of simply the human form of the demon Belthazor or her sister's demonic boyfriend or her ex-demonic boyfriend or the Source of All Evil. She is seeing Cole the person and it is causing her to re-examine all that has happened. She listened to what Grams told them when they were at the hospital and she has talked to Prue about it and because she made that effort her mind is connecting to her heart and her soul and together they are going to show her the way. Each memory she sees will simply open that connection even more and once it is open fully she will be able to face Cole and look him in the eye because then she will be ready to take her place amongst us."
"You mean that once she accepts her own guilt and responsibility for what has happened to Uncle Cole then she will be able to move beyond it?" Tim wasn't quite sure he was getting it and he needed to make sure he understood what was happening.
"Yes Tim and once she does then she will be free to help Cole do the same." Pandy was smiling as she said it, she couldn't help it. She knew that there was still a hard road ahead for Piper but she also knew that once Piper started on the road she was now on that there would be no turning back for her and as she moved forward so did Cole's chance to find peace himself, Cole's and Darryl's chance. The four simply remained where they were, each lost in their own thoughts of what lay ahead.
When Piper finally stood though it was if the Circle knew that it was time to begin again as the office dissolved once again into mist. This time it coalesced into the cave with a fire in the corner. Piper had seen the brand burned into Cole's back but for some reason her mind never put the brand together with the fire that had to have put it there. She turned her head and watched as a little Cole was dragged into the room and chained face down to the stone slab. They didn't have to remove his clothes this time, as he had none on when he was brought into the cave. Just as before she once again began to feel little Cole's emotions wash over and through her only this time she was ready, or she thought she was.
She felt his fear and she knew that this wasn't the first time that they had used the hot pokers to burn little Cole. He knew what was coming as he tugged at the shackles that held him in place. She felt the pain in her wrists as she watched blood begin to fall from beneath the metal around his wrists. Then there was heat near her back as the demon brought the hot poker closer to little Cole's struggling form. Pain. Pain such as she had never felt before suddenly blossomed across her back, she would have fallen to her knees but it was almost as if she were frozen in place. She wanted to scream but she couldn't.
When the poker was removed she thought the pain would lessen but it didn't and little Cole knew it wouldn't. Piper's tears flowed freely and not just for her own pain but also for the little boy. A little boy that already knew that the pain wasn't going to go away, a little boy that had already experienced the heat of the poker enough to know that the air would only make it hurt worse.
Another demon entered the cave and this one she knew, or rather little Cole did and that knowledge made Piper sick. She was his mother and as little Cole called out to her, pleaded with her to make it stop Piper felt the despair within the child grow. The female demon walked to a rock that was carved in the form of a chair and simply sat down, her face an unreadable mask as she watched the Source brand her own son.
Piper heard the Source telling little Cole that this was a reminder, one to remind him that he lived only because the Source wished it and that he belonged to him forever. She felt the pain as the Source pushed the little dark head into the stone slab before bringing the hot brand down on little Cole's back. The pain was even worse this time and as little Cole cried out so did Piper, both from the pain and the growing despair as he whimpered and called out to his mommy to please make it stop. Piper suddenly didn't know which was worse, the physical or the emotional pain that she was feeling from the little boy; she did know that she was glad when he finally passed out believing that he was, for the moment anyway going to be able to rest. When she saw the red glow coming from the Source's hand she felt the pain and sadness return full force. His whimpered plea to his mother fell on deaf ears as she simply sat and watched her son writhe in pain as the air washed over the brand marking.
Just as suddenly as it had started it ended the room disappeared and once again they found themselves in Grams' office and Piper once again sank to the floor as she recovered from the physical pain she had shared with little Cole.
Tim watched her very carefully. He himself had enough trouble dealing with just watching the memories but to actually be feeling them as well, he wasn't sure how much Piper would be able to take before she was pushed over the edge. He needed to make sure that that didn't happen because he knew how important Piper was to his Uncle Cole.
Pee Wee had been watching Tim, he knew that Tim was worried about Piper so he decided to explain something to Tim in hopes of calming him down.
"Tim, I can tell that you are worried about Piper but she is strong and will survive this. You have to understand that for her mind things are a little different right now." Pee Wee could see the blank look he was getting and tried to put into words what was happening to Piper, he just hoped that he could make it make sense. "Okay let me try and explain. Piper has opened herself in an attempt to understand the man she saw looking back at her from the picture, the man that she has been watching for the past 24 hours. When she opened herself she opened her heart, her soul, and her mind. The Balance if you will is using this opening to help her understand." The blank look remained.
"Right now her mind is so open that it is able to process what she is seeing and feeling at a faster rate than normal. This is allowing her to process and understand things in minutes that would normally take weeks or months. This is only possible because, as you said earlier, she has accepted her own guilt and is now taking responsibility for her actions. These memories are allowing her to see, to better understand Cole so that she can take her rightful place with him. When we have finished she will be able to better relate to Cole because of her new understanding. Now as for the question of why it is happening so fast. That is the Balance itself. If Piper can't take her place with us at the time of the Ascension then there will be no Ascension and the Balance will be lost and Chaos will take over."
"And all of you will die." Tim's voice was low almost as if he were afraid to say it aloud, afraid that by saying it he would make it come true. He wasn't sure that he fully understood everything that was happening but what he did know was that by the time they walked out of the Circle, Piper would be ready to face his Uncle Cole and Darryl.
Piper wasn't really listening to anything around her at the moment, right now her mind was focused on dealing with what she had just seen and felt. She wondered why the emotions were so much stronger this time. Oh the pain was still there but it was as if he was more used to the pain, like it wasn't something that happened occasionally but something that happened constantly to him. The thought made her shudder as she tightened her hold on Pandy.
"It's because he is older and his memories of his time in the human world are disappearing. He has his emotions but not the memories." Pandy said as she looked up to Piper's face only to find confusion there. "As one grows up it becomes easier to handle ones emotions because there are memories to go with them. It's how we learn but with Cole it is almost as if he is regressing in some ways because he is losing those memories, the memories that contain his first emotional lessons."
"He knows he loves his mother but he can't understand why love should hurt so much. He feels love for his father even though he doesn't actually remember him and that love is pure, there is no pain associated with it. He's confused and every time he looks to his mother she hurts him again and confuses him even more. He can't understand why his love for his mother brings him nothing but pain while his love for his father brings only warmth. That's why the loss of his clothes hurt so much; the shirt was one his father bought for him and it had carried his sent." Piper said, mostly to herself as she examined and explained the feelings that she had already experienced from little Cole.
"Yes Piper and as the rest of his memories are removed he will become even more confused until his mother finally does something that pushes him over the edge." Pandy tries to explain.
"And he runs away emotionally since he can't escape physically. But what made him run away like that?" Piper asked Pandy, but it was the Circle that answered her as once again it took her to little Cole. She had asked the question but she never imagined the answer she was about to see and by the time it was over she knew that her life would never be the same again.
The room coalesced back into yet another cave only this one was larger than the others had been and instead of a stone slab at its center there were twin pillars on a raised dais. Piper's eyes swept the cave and found little Cole just as the whip struck his back. Pain lanced through her as she felt the bite of the whip as well; her shoulders felt as if they were being ripped out of their sockets as well, the chains holding little Cole up were pulling him onto his tiptoes and cutting deeply into his wrists. She wanted to scream as little Cole did but she couldn't just as she couldn't move. Instead she simply stood there as the whip continued to draw blood from the child that was chained between the two pillars.
Piper could feel little Cole's fear and his pain and again it felt as if he were used to being whipped just as it felt like he had been used to being burned with the hot pokers. The more she felt from little Cole, who was about eight years old this time, the more she understood that he was indeed used to being burned and whipped. The very thought made her sick and just when she thought she had seen the worst her attention was drawn to where little Cole's was and that was to the other side of the cave where his mother stood with another demon.
Piper watched as his mother started to make out with the other demon; horrified she turned back to little Cole who simply continued to watch them between his screams from the whip slicing into his back. Piper could feel it; she could feel that it wasn't the first time that he had watched his mother with another demon. He had seen this before but she could also tell that it hurt him to see it and he couldn't understand why it hurt. Piper's tears once again began to fall.
Suddenly the demon with the whip shimmered out of the cave and the demon that had been kissing his mother turned and smiled at him. Piper could feel his fear rising the closer the other demon got. She suddenly felt the relief in her shoulders as little Cole's feet were once again firmly planted on the ground. Her relief didn't last long as the demon shimmered behind little Cole and, kicking his feet even further apart waved his hand causing new shackles to appear around little Cole's ankles. Little Cole's fear had risen but when his small amount of clothing suddenly disappeared his fear escalated to terror in the space of a heartbeat.
Piper's mind was suddenly overwhelmed with other memories as Little Cole's mind flashed to the other times when a demon had taken his clothes and played with him. His mother had told them that he wasn't big enough yet and that if he died because of it then they would have to explain it to the Source. He hadn't understood exactly what she had meant by that at the time but he had seen her play with other male demons and they never had clothes on when they played and now he had no clothes on and he was older and bigger.
Piper watched as the demon dropped the black robe he had been wearing, letting it pool around his feet. He was marked in a similar fashion as Belthazor had been, red with black tribal markings that covered his whole body. When the demon reached out and wrapped his arms around little Cole she could feel the terror coming from the child and she hated the demon for terrorizing little Cole. As she watched little Cole cry even harder as the demon began to lap at the blood running down his little arms she felt her own rage growing. When she felt confusion merge with little Cole's terror as the demon began to run his clawed hand over little Cole's private area she knew she had found the true meaning of "red rage". But even as she felt this it didn't come close to the emotions coming from little Cole.
She could feel that he didn't know what was actually happening to him but he did know that he didn't want it to happen. As the demon rested his bare body along little Cole's bare back she could feel it as he tried to squirm away from his tormentor but all that did was make his wrists bleed even more, the demon eagerly lapping at the blood flowing down his little arms as he continued to fondle him.
Piper thought that she had felt every emotion she could possible feel but what she felt next was something she would never forget, her soul would never forget no matter how hard she tried.
Little Cole whimpered and looked across the cave at his mother. "Mommy … please." Two words, just two simple words and Piper could feel the desperation in little Cole, not just to be saved but to be loved. She felt it, little Cole had been pushed so far that he was on the edge and if his mother didn't answer this time then she just knew that little Cole wasn't going to make it.
She watched as his mother walked across the cave and up onto the dais to stand right in front of him. When his mother grabbed little Cole around the neck and yanked on him Piper could feel her shoulders wrench and again wished she could at least cry out like little Cole did but she couldn't so she endured in silence… for little Cole.
When he looked into her eyes, that was when she felt it. She could feel his heart breaking as he realized that his mother wasn't going to save him, wasn't going to protect him. The feeling of desolation was overwhelming and if it hadn't been for Tim catching her she would have fallen to her knees. Piper barely registered the sick words that his mother and the demon were saying as almost all of her attention was focused on little Cole. He was beginning to slip away, his mind trying to run away from the truth, the truth that his mother whom he still loved was going to leave him there to be hurt again.
Everything came to an abrupt stop a moment later when Piper felt a pain she never thought she would ever feel. The demon was large and as he forced all of himself into little Cole, little Cole screamed and Piper silently screamed with him. She felt his thoughts stop as the pain consumed his entire mind. Vaguely she was aware of his mother leaving the cave, abandoning him to the pain and terror that now permeated his little defenseless body.
Piper didn't know how long it lasted, all she knew was the pain and the terror that was little Cole's. Suddenly she felt something begin to run down the backs of her legs and she looked to little Cole's legs afraid to know but needing to know. She saw the blood beginning to run down his legs just as she watched the demon move his clawed and bloody hands to little Cole's hips and begin to pull the child's body back in a rhythm that forced him deeper into the terrified child's body, little Cole's screams growing even louder.
The pain was unthinkable and Piper didn't think it could get any worse. She was wrong. When the demon roared out, the sound echoing off of the walls of the cave, he thrust himself so hard into little Cole's body that the force pushed little Cole too far forward and Piper felt his little shoulders wrenched right out of their sockets and it then became little Cole's scream that drowned out the demon's.
Piper felt the demon pull himself away from little Cole, the movement creating yet another pain but this one passed quickly. As the immediate pain began to subside though Piper could feel the emotions begin to grow once more. She saw the demon bend down and begin to lap at the blood that was still running down the backs of little Cole's legs. She could feel that little Cole didn't even notice this and she quickly brought her eyes back to his. What she saw and felt would change her life forever.
His blue eyes that once held so much life in them were dying right before her eyes, just as she could feel him slowly slipping away. Piper now knew what had finally pushed him over the edge and it wasn't just the rape… yes rape her mind told her. She had witnessed the raping of a child, one that she knew yet never bother to look at, to see. No it wasn't just the rape it was the knowledge that his mother, a person he loved unconditionally had hurt him one time too many. She had left him there, left him to the pain and terror that the other demon had inflicted upon him.
She felt him, his thoughts as he equated love with pain. He loved his father but his father had never hurt him so he remained a cherished item of warmth, a soothing balm to his frightened and hurt heart and soul. His mother though, she had been loved by him as well and he had done everything in his power to keep her love but he just didn't understand why his love for his mother had to hurt so much. He wanted to keep loving her, he really did but he didn't understand why she didn't love him anymore. He thought she had loved him when he was real little, he thought he could remember her holding him and talking to him but now she didn't love him anymore and he couldn't figure out what he had done to make her take her love away from him.
It hurt too much, his little heart and soul simply couldn't take anymore and he ran away. Piper could feel him slip away, far away so he could hide himself from any more hurt and pain. She felt him find a small hidden place, one filled with the warmth and love that was his father and cuddle up there. She barely felt it as he cried one last tear as he closed his eyes and hoped that his daddy at least still loved him and that someday, just maybe he might be lovable enough so that someone might just love him again…… if he was really good maybe someday someone might just love him again and he wouldn't be alone anymore.
Piper felt her heart break and her soul cry for the little one that disappeared that day, disappeared believing that it was somehow his fault, that he had done something wrong and made himself unlovable. Her tears fell freely as she learned one of the hardest lessons she was ever likely to learn in her life.
Suddenly she felt a shift and she watched as little Cole's eyes turned black and little Belthazor emerged. She could feel his rage, his pure unadulterated rage at what had been done to little Cole. She felt the pull on her arms as he pulled the chains free from the wall and snapped his shoulders back in place. She realized that she was feeling what little Belthazor was feeling and it stunned her to say the least. The tug on her ankles dispelled any doubt in her mind. These feeling, these emotions were solely little Belthazor's, as she couldn't feel little Cole anymore just little Belthazor.
She felt his anger, his rage as he swung the chains around the neck of the demon that had hurt little Cole so badly and gave them a good vicious pull, one so hard that the demon's head snapped off and rolled across the room, stopping when it hit the cave wall. She watched as both pieces of the demon burst into flames and felt the satisfaction that this got from little Belthazor.
She felt sadness and pain coming from the little red demon. She knew that the sadness was for what had happened to the child but the pain; she felt pain and knew that it came from the knowledge that he hadn't gotten to little Cole quickly enough. He felt guilt for allowing little Cole to be hurt this way. She was confused, little Belthazor was a demon after all, the demonic half of little Cole. When she heard little Belthazor speak, feeling the emotions as well as hearing the words she found her understanding growing and with that understanding came some guilt of her own.
"You are safe now Cole. No one will ever hurt you like that again, not as long as I live. I promise you."
Piper heard the words and felt the power of the emotions behind them. New tears formed in her eyes as she came to realize that Belthazor had indeed protected little Cole and adult Cole, had protected him until the day he died, until the day she and her sisters had killed him.
The room shimmered once again and they were back in Grams' office once more. Piper quickly sat on the floor as her mind quickly connected the dots it needed too.
"Oh my God. It was… it was us. We killed Belthazor. He spent his life protecting Cole, being with Cole. They weren't the same entity, they really were two separate people and Belthazor had spent his whole life protecting Cole. He did most of the killing and he also took the responsibility for the people that Cole was forced to kill to survive allowing Cole at least some peace of mind. It makes perfect sense in a kind of warped way, in a magical way. But we took Belthazor away and that left Cole truly all alone, for the first time in his life he really was all alone and it hurt him and we didn't even see it. No, it wasn't that we didn't see it was we simply didn't care."
No one said a word as they waited for Piper to make the last connection. Pee Wee had said it before 75% Belthazor and 25% Cole. Their patience was rewarded a moment later as Piper finally let go of the last of her wariness and fear of Belthazor.
"Belthazor protected Cole but Cole also protected Belthazor. Belthazor couldn't survive in the human world without Cole so Cole helped him."
They all continued to watch as Piper thought the rest through, each of them hoping that she would find the right answer.
"The part of Cole that could love unconditionally and sought unconditional love in return, something that we all do, that part stayed hidden in that warm place he ran to. Cole was still there, he could still care about people, could even still love them to a point but not with his whole heart and soul. He needed to protect the Nation because he cared for them, loved them so he protected them the best way he could. He hardened what part of his heart that was still awake and became the best assassin the Source had. This position afforded him the best way to protect the Nation, but it also gave him the best access to the information he needed to stop the Source from making his body into his vessel. My God, what he has sacrificed and all in the name of love. And then we came along and ruined everything, all of his hard work destroyed by some of the very people he had set out to protect." Piper's voice trailed off as she scratched Pandy behind the ears, her mind working furiously. There was still something more and she had to find it. Her wait wasn't long as her mind, in its open state found what she was looking for.
"He could love, the emotion was his but he could never give himself to another to love. That part of him remained in hiding out of fear of more pain and rejection. But he started to come out when he began to fall in love with Phoebe. He wanted to love but… he never opened his whole heart or soul because he knew that there would be more pain, he knew we were going to hurt him and yet he stayed anyway. He stayed and he protected us."
Tim, Pee Wee, and Pandy kept their eyes glued to Piper as she spoke. They could tell that she was understanding Cole for the first time. She was realizing that he was both complicated and straightforward at the same time as he became what he needed to in order to protect those that he coveted.
"We upset the balance by demanding that he follow our rules of right and wrong; of good and evil when we couldn't even follow those rules ourselves. We forced him to conform in order to remain with us and by doing that we almost destroyed him. We did destroy his protector when we killed Belthazor and it was because we did that that the Source was able to possess him in the first place. My God, we made it possible didn't we? It was us wasn't it, when we killed Belthazor we gave the Source his way into Cole."
Before anyone could say anything the Circle came alive again and this time it didn't just let Piper experience what Cole felt, it put her inside Cole and little Belthazor at the same time. This time Piper truly lived this moment in their lives, and through the magic of the Circle she lived inside not only Cole's head but also little Belthazor's head at the same time. She had no idea what was about to happen but she somehow knew that she wasn't going to like what she was about to see and feel. As soon as the world outside the Circle took form Piper found herself thrust into both Cole and little Belthazor.
Cole was chained to a wall, blood running down his arms from where the shackles were cutting into his wrists, this blood mixing with the blood running down his chest from the multiple and deep lash marks the Source had already inflicted. Sadly little Belthazor knew what was coming next and as he watched the Source moved forward, towering over the weak and frightened Cole. The whimper of pain was plain to hear as the Source pulled Cole literally off the ground by the chain that connected his shackled wrists together and turning Cole so he faced the wall. After first making sure that his captive's feet were just barely touching the ground if he remained on his toes, he quickly gestured and two athames appeared, hovering just short of the backs of Cole's trapped hands. The Source paused long enough to push on Cole's back causing him to whimper again as his already abused and bleeding chest was ground into the stone of the wall. When he brought his hand back up he slowly pushed first one and then the other athame through the backs of Cole's hands, effectively pinning him to the stone wall. Once he was finished, the Source simply stood and laughed as Cole's tears began to run freely down his face. He grabbed Cole by the back of the head, wrapping his claws painfully in Cole's hair and yanking back. Cole screamed as the flesh of his hands was ripped but the Source only laughed again before speaking.
"That's it, keep on screaming and whimpering, it's music to my ears. You are mine now for all eternity. There is nowhere for you to run and nowhere for you to hide from me anymore Belthazor. This is why I had you created, why I allowed you to live. Oh, and I wouldn't even waste my time thinking that your little witch or any of your little family is going to rescue you from me. They have left you here for me to play with, they won't come to save you because they don't even realize that you are gone." The Source laughed as he saw fresh tears roll down Cole's face. "I can't wait till your son is born. I am going to have so much pleasure in turning him evil. Of course he already has too much of you in him so when I turn him it will be against his will and here you'll still be so you can listen to his screams."
"No… please don't… don't hurt… him please." Cole's whole body began to shake as memories of his own past came flooding back, so many it became overwhelming and he felt as though he was going to fly apart from the pain they brought with them. Thoughts of his son suffering the torments and pain he had was just too much. He needed to get away to save his son, but the Source was right he had no way to escape from here and there was no one who was even going to try and save him now. The thought that his family didn't even know, that they believed that it was him pushed him over the edge and his mind ran even though his body couldn't. It ran from the hurt and pain, the loneliness and desolation that his tormentor took such great pleasure in inflicting on him. He barely even felt the whip as it sliced through the flesh of his back over and over again. He just wanted it to end.
Taking a few steps back the Source held out his hand as a rather vicious looking whip appeared, landing neatly in his palm. It took only a few moments for Cole's back to be as raw and bloody as his chest, when the Source suddenly stopped and moved his head, as if listening to something, something other than the hoarse whimpers coming from his beaten and bloody victim. The Source moved swiftly up to Cole and, with a swipe of his hand, removed the athames from his hands, though he stepped back quickly as Cole's limp body fell to the ground. He smiled as he heard the splashing sound Cole's body made when it landed in a rather frighteningly large puddle of blood that had pooled at his feet. "Don't worry I'll be back soon, my wife is calling for me though." The Source's scornful laughter was the last thing to fade from the cave but as soon as it did little Belthazor rushed towards Cole's still form.
Little Belthazor kneeled next to Cole's half naked and bloody form trying to decide the best way to move him. Since there was no easy way he simply moved to stand at Cole's head and, placing his hands under his arms, he carefully dragged Cole out of the puddle of blood he had landed in. Even though he tried not to jar him too much he still heard the pitiful whimpers that escaped from Cole's lips. Once he was clear of the blood he sat down with his back to the cave wall and gently pulled Cole to him so that his upper body was resting against his right arm which was supported by his right leg which he had bent at the knee, this way only the smallest amount of Cole's damaged back would be making contact with him. As Cole rested his head on his shoulder, little Belthazor gently rested his cheek on the top of Cole's head knowing from experience that it would be one of the few places on his charge's tortured body that wouldn't hurt to touch. He could tell that Cole was tired and growing weaker as the days had turned to weeks and then to months since the Source had invaded Cole's body, subduing him while he slept and then locking him away here, deep inside Cole's own mind. Everyone is capable of evil because everyone has a small dark corner in their mind, that place where people would plan the murder of their boss or their ex, and the Source took advantage of Cole's. Here is where he locked away all that was Cole, locked him away and proceeded to torture him both physically and emotionally. The Source could do anything he wanted to physically do to Cole here and Cole wouldn't die, he'd only wished that he would. Little Belthazor could tell that Cole was close to the edge when he started to talk.
"Do you think that they cared, I mean I don't mean like a family member kind of care but… do you think, even for just a little while, that they cared just a little bit?" Cole's mind was foggy with pain and no sleep; he couldn't even remember the last time that he had been allowed to sleep. He knew his little protector would have helped if he could but he knew that he was just as trapped as he was only the Source didn't know that he was here and he could only hope that it stayed that way. Cole's mind wandered back as he heard little Belthazor's voice and even that was soothing for him.
"Cole…. Cole," he had to put his hand under his charge's chin, gently raising his head so he could look into his eyes. Unfortunately he found them hard to read, between the fatigue, the fear, and the pain he just wasn't sure what Cole was asking about. Knowing that he needed the distraction from his pain, little Belthazor decided to ask Cole what he meant, even though somehow he knew he would be sorry later. "Do I think who cared?"
"Piper and Leo. I know Paige doesn't care but that's okay she… she was just afraid of me because she didn't really know what I was. I still liked her though… I mean she was nice to me until then anyway and I still liked even after she stopped liking me. I think Darryl might have liked me… well a little bit anyway after I lost big Belthazor maybe. Do you think they cared, even just a little bit about me?" Cole's voice had become soft and childlike as he talked and little Belthazor found new tears forming as he listened. He had been right, he was sorry that he had asked but he was even sorrier when he found he had no answer for his tired and hurt friend. Before he could think of anything to say that wouldn't hurt Cole even more than he already was Cole started talking again.
"I like Darryl, he's nice and he's good. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like."
"Imagine what what would be like?" He wasn't sure why he asked but he was afraid that if Cole stopped talking that he would lose him, not physically but mentally. He was scared that Cole would disappear even further into his own head and never come out again.
"What it would be like if Darryl had wanted to be friends with me. Sometimes I'd imagine that we would go out to a game together or maybe watch one on the TV. We'd play cards or something and laugh about stuff maybe even go fishing. I found out that he likes to go fishing. I like to go fishing." Cole's head turned so he was facing his little friend. "I do you know."
"I know." Little Belthazor's little heart was breaking for his friend and there was nothing he could do for him except hold him and listen. The more he listened though the harder it became to hold back his tears.
"Prue was different. She never pretended to like me and I liked her for that. I think she might have liked me a little before she died. I wish she hadn't died. She was too young; she shouldn't have died till she was older. We cried for her though didn't we?"
"Yes we did Cole, we cried for Prue."
"Do you think they cared? I mean I know they don't care now or they wouldn't have left me here but… do you think that they might have cared… I mean before I did whatever it was I did wrong."
"What do you mean you did something wrong?" Little Belthazor asked the question before he could stop himself and he knew next time he would keep his mouth shut.
"I had to have done something wrong to make them want to leave me here and it must have been pretty bad. But do you think that they cared before I did that something wrong?" Cole's glazed eyes looked up at his friend with such an earnestness in them that little Belthazor almost lost it. He wanted to tell him that he hadn't done anything wrong but he stopped himself. He was afraid that with Cole in the state that he was in telling him that he hadn't done anything wrong would only hurt him further. Not knowing what else to do and deciding that it couldn't really hurt now anyway he finally answered his friends question.
"Yes Cole, I think that they did care." He watched as Cole's head slipped forward again as he felt the body that lay in his arms lose even more strength. He tightened his hold on Cole, as if holding him tighter would keep him from leaving. Cole's next words were almost too quiet to hear and he had to strain to hear him. Once he did he really wished he hadn't.
"Do you think Phoebe… I know she liked me some but do you think she might have loved me… even just a little bit?" Cole let out a cry of pain as he suddenly coughed, burying his face in little Belthazor's neck as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm thirsty." He said when he got his breath back.
"I know and I'm sorry but he didn't leave anything to drink." Little Belthazor found himself getting more upset as the minutes passed. He was angry that the Charmed Ones were ignoring Cole and angry with them for not being a better family to him, for making him doubt that he had even been liked at all. After everything Cole had done, had sacrificed for them they still never let him in and now he even doubted whether he was even liked. Mad didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling at the moment.
"That's all right I've been thirsty before, he never used to leave me anything to drink when we were little either." Cole fell silent as his tired mind tried to make sense of things once again. He still didn't know how he had gotten here but he knew that he didn't want to stay here. "I want to go home." It was getting harder and harder for Cole to concentrate enough to talk and to keep his eyes open, so as he nestled his face against his little protectors neck he decided to close his eyes. "Do I have a home somewhere?"
"I know, I know. And yes you have a home and I'm sorry I can't take you there." The little protector laid his head once more against his charge's as he tried to think of a way out of this. Cole's voice floated up to him and this time he couldn't keep the tears from falling.
"I remember… warmth not like fire… like the sun… warm and safe… a man… it was daddy wasn't it. I remember daddy's love." He sounded happy, then in the next instant sad as he asked little Belthazor, in a very small voice, "Do you think daddy… do you think he might still love us… even just a little?"
Little Belthazor could feel the tears as they fell on to his arm where they mixed with his own. "Yes Cole, daddy still loves us, he will always love us. Now rest. Close yours eyes and just rest for now, I'll stand watch while you sleep." He was rubbing the back of Cole's head as he spoke, trying to sooth him. He no longer feared losing him because he knew that there was no escape from here, not for them.
"I remember daddy's love and he still loves us. I wish I could have told him how much I love him and that I was sorry." Cole felt himself start to drift away and this time he didn't fight it, instead he snuggled down against his little protector, burrowing his face into the little red neck secure in the knowledge that he would keep guard for both of them. He almost didn't hear little Belthazor's comment but when he realized what he had said he used the last of his strength to respond, needing for him to know.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, do you hear me, you haven't done anything wrong." Little Belthazor found himself speaking before he could stop himself and he found himself almost wishing that Cole hadn't heard him. Just for a moment he thought his wish had been granted, then he felt Cole stir in his arms and his words just made him hold his charge tighter as his own tears flowed more freely.
"Only good… a good being… could set him… free. I'm sorry… I was never good… good enough… to set him free. My fault… in it he was… trapped in… the first… place." Cole never saw the darkness as it rose up and blindsided him, his world turning slowly black and silent.
Little Belthazor felt Cole's body suddenly go still in his arms and he tightened his hold even more, needing to feel his charge's heartbeat against his arms. He knew rocking Cole would only hurt him so he settled for stroking the back of his head and purring to him, offering him the only comfort he could now. "I'm sorry Cole, I should have protected you better. I wish they hadn't killed Big Belthazor, he would have protected you better. If they hadn't killed him the Source wouldn't have had any place to hide inside of you, he wouldn't have been able to possess you in the first place. But I should have been watching better while you slept that night, I should have seen him coming but I didn't. I didn't see in time to stop him from capturing you and locking you away down here. I'm sorry, so very sorry." Little Belthazor's tears flowed freely. Cole's voice startled him but he still couldn't stop his tears, if anything Cole's words made him cry all the harder.
"Nothing to be… sorry for… not your… fault… not your…" Cole's voice faded as the blackness grabbed a hold of him again, taking him away. He wanted to stay and tell his protector, to explain that it wasn't his fault, that if he hadn't let the Seer force the Hollow into him in the first place then none of this would have happened. If he had been stronger in his fight with the Seer, but he didn't have big Belthazor anymore and she was too powerful. If he had only been stronger, or had been able to get away before she opened the box he might still have a home, the girls might still care about him but they don't care anymore. Because he hadn't been strong enough he and his little protector were trapped here forever, and his son would suffer the pain and torment of being turned against his will. He wanted to scream but he just didn't have the strength left, so instead he dove into the darkness, a piece of him hoping he would never wake up again while another piece feared he wouldn't and his little protector would be trapped here all alone, being alone the one fear they both shared above all others.
Little Belthazor continued to stroke the back of his charge's head while he purred in his ear. He knew that Cole was, for all intense and purposes unconscious, but he still felt the need to make sure that Cole knew that he wasn't alone so he continued to offer what little comfort he could. His own tears continued to fall as he kept guard. "I'm sorry Cole, but I don't know how to get you out of here, I don't know how to make you safe. I wish Big Belthazor was here, he'd be able to save you but I'm not as powerful as he was. I know you miss him and so do I. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
Piper suddenly found herself back in her own body as the room coalesced back into Gram's office. She lowered herself to the floor quickly but carefully as she felt her legs get weak beneath her. "We left him… we abandoned him and … and he didn't blame us. He blamed himself." Piper said as she looked up to Tim and Pee Wee. "It was our fault though, we were to blame not him. If we hadn't killed Big Belthazor… if we had only paid attention… we should have seen but we didn't." Piper fell silent again as her mind flew back to her own memories of that time. "His headaches. He was trying to tell us and the Source was stopping him by hurting him and we didn't see. He was hurt and in pain and we ignored him, left him to the mercy of that monster." Piper felt her tears begin to fall but made no move to stop them as she continued to scratch Pandy behind her ears.
Tim didn't say anything; he didn't trust himself to open his mouth this time. It was one thing to see the memories of the distant past, but that was a recent memory and one that carried a lot of pain with it. The Nation had made the erroneous assumption that the Charmed Ones would kill the Source without harming Uncle Cole, as he was an innocent, as the Charmed Ones themselves called it. But this time they didn't save the innocent; they didn't even try to save him. As he fought his own raging emotions he looked back at Piper, the minute his eyes landed on her though he forgot to breathe. His talent for reading souls is second nature for him and he sometimes found himself reading souls that he hadn't meant to, the souls all but screaming at him to be heard.
Piper's soul wasn't screaming though… it was crying. He watched as the tears fell from her eyes and from her soul. Pee Wee was right. The Balance is protecting itself by helping Piper come to terms with the memories, the emotions she is feeling at an accelerated rate. I just hope that it knows what it is doing. Her soul is very fragile right now and if it isn't careful it could destroy her. Tim was brought out of his thoughts by Pee Wee.
"Don't worry Tim. Piper will be all right and in the end so will Cole and Darryl. She has learned many things already and more importantly she has accepted what she has learned. She believes in what she is seeing and feeling and knows that it is the truth, the stark naked truth that she has both hidden from herself and has had hidden from her by the Elders." Pee Wee has seen the look on Tim's face when the Elf had looked at Piper and he just knew that he had seen her soul. He could also tell that he needed a bit of reassurance that everything was going to be all right. He looked to Pandy who was snuggled up close to her charge and received a small smile from her furry friend.
Suddenly the room around them once again changed and shifted only this time it wasn't the Underworld that they found themselves in, it was the Wasteland.
Piper didn't even bother getting up this time as she looked at the desolation that now surrounded her, instead she stayed sitting with Pandy held securely in her lap. Her head snapped to the right as she felt Cole nearby. Just as her eyes came to rest on a figure lying crumpled on the ground, Cole's emotional and physical pain made itself known to her.
She felt his despair; his desolation at being left here by Phoebe, being dismissed by the very person he started to venture back out into the light to love. When Phoebe had told him to simply move on he could see it in her eyes; she knew what moving on would be for him and still she told him to go telling him it was over.
Piper felt her tears falling as she realized what her sister had done to Cole, the very man she said that she loved and would love no matter what. Piper now understood that Phoebe had hurt him beyond words by her actions, that she had shown him the very kind of love he associated with his mother, the kind that hurt him. She also felt his own self-blame again. He's blaming himself again. He thinks that it's his fault just as he thought he had done something to make himself so unlovable that his mother took her love away from him. Piper thought to herself as she sorted out Cole's emotions. She was startled from her thoughts though with pain as she saw him begin to move.
Cole felt like his whole body was on fire. The beast had found him again about an hour ago; at least he thought it was an hour ago. His sense of time was diminishing the longer he remained in the Wasteland. Carefully he rolled over onto his back causing more pain to shoot through his already abused body. He knew that he had done some serious damage during that last fall he took. He looked around himself to make sure that it was safe for the moment, that the beast had left, at least for a while. As he carefully made his way to his feet he realized that he had reopened the wound in his side again. Looking down at his hand he saw it covered in fresh blood and he felt himself sway a bit on his feet.
Piper felt Cole's struggle as he put one foot in front of the other, determined to make it to the cave in the rock face that was in front of him. She became confused though at his single-minded determination. She had felt his thought to simply give up and letting go but before she could panic at the idea she felt his own iron will crush the thought, almost as if it were an enemy. She was confused and she wanted to understand. When the answer came to her though she felt her own world begin to collapse under her feet.
Cole leaned heavily against the cave wall trying to get his breath back, his brief thought of letting go already a distant one; the very thought of his son driving it away effortlessly. He hoped and prayed that his son, whom he named Benjamin after his much beloved father, would be alright and that maybe his Grams would find him and take care of him. He didn't entirely trust Phoebe or Paige with him and though he trusted Piper with him he also knew that his son would always be in danger from his mother and his Aunt Paige, not to mention Cole's own mother.
Piper was crying as she felt Cole's emotions about his son, her nephew… the nephew that never got to be because of her and her sisters and Leo. When she felt Cole blame himself for making Phoebe and Paige hate the unborn Ben she felt her heart skip a few beats. Her tears flowed freely as she hugged Pandy a little tighter. She watched as Cole lowered himself carefully to the ground, a sharp stabbing pain making itself known in Piper's side as Cole's face contorted in pain.
Cole settled himself against the rough cave wall, barely noticing the few sharp edged rocks pressing into his back. His concentration was solely on his son as he tried to sense him again.
Piper sat, frozen as she felt the love coming from Cole. She had already learned that he was more than capable of loving very deeply but this, this was such a pure, warm, honest, and innocent love that she could barely breathe as she sat in total awe. In that instant she knew that this was little Cole, the child that had hidden himself away all those years ago. As she watched a small smile came to his lips as a round glowing orb floated in through the cave entrance and quickly floated over to Cole, hovering in front of him. Piper felt her heart break as she watched and felt what came next.
Daddy! Daddy!
"Hello Ben." Cole held out his hands, cupping them together giving his son a place to settle down in. "I love you." He said as held the orb closer, the glow from it encompassing his face as if hugging him.
I love you too daddy. Daddy you're hurt!
Piper could hear the worry in the childlike voice coming from the orb and it broke her heart. She was hearing the voice of her own nephew, the innocent child that she and her sisters destroyed. In that moment she hated herself for both what they did to her nephew and what they did to Cole. She didn't know she was about to witness an event that changed Cole's life forever, one that she was partly responsible for.
"I'll be alright son." Cole reassured his son as he brought the orb down to rest in his lap.
Piper knew the truth though; she could feel his pain and his despair. He wasn't sure how much longer he could avoid the beast. She knew he wasn't necessarily afraid to die, he was just like all other living creatures, but it was that he didn't want to die here alone. He was afraid of being alone and that was exactly what he was here in the Wasteland… alone. He was also afraid of what would happen to the Nation and too his son. Piper saw the orb finally settle down in his lap, it's pulsing almost like a heartbeat.
Daddy?
"Yes my little one?" Cole using his Grams old nickname for him.
Piper could feel the deep sadness within Cole when he thought of his Grams. He desperately wanted to contact her but he couldn't risk the Black Council or the Elders finding her through him. He loved his Grams so much though that he refused to risk it, even though it could mean his own rescue from the Wasteland. Instead he concentrated on his child in his arms… yes his child. That was how Cole saw the glowing orb for it was Baby Ben's soul.
Why does mommy and Aunt Paige hate us? Aunt Piper doesn't hate us a lot, just a little. But why daddy?
Piper felt her heartbreaking for both father and son, Cole's struggle to try and answer his son's question bringing new tears to her eyes. He could feel us… baby Ben could feel us the whole time Piper thought to herself, her shame growing as she realized that her own nephew had known nothing of love from her and her sisters and Leo. His only comfort was his father who was trapped in this hellish Wasteland by the woman who claimed to love him no matter what. And by you her mind reminded her. She could have done something but she hadn't even asked Phoebe what had happened when she had returned from here. She did nothing and this is what happened because of her own willful blindness. Slowly she sank further into the emotions coming from Cole. She needed to understand every little thing so that she could fully understand her mistakes and thus know how to try and atone for them.
"I'm sorry my little one. I know what you are feeling but it's only because they don't understand." Cole had desperately wanted to tell his son that it wasn't true but he knew that it was, no matter how much he didn't want to believe it he knew that the Charmed Ones and Leo didn't love his child and as much as it hurt he also knew that it was because baby Ben was his child. He fought hard to control his emotions, his pain not wanting his son to feel anything but love from him. As he had his Grams whom he never once doubted her love so he wanted his son to have one person he would know loved him no matter what.
Piper watched as Cole and his son talked and laughed. She realized how great a father Cole was going to be when Julianna had her twins but that still didn't keep her tears from continuing to fall as she watched Cole laughing and comforting baby Ben, trying desperately to make sure that he knew that his daddy loved him, unconditionally as his Grams loved him. She felt Cole relax as they talked and she was glad that he and his son were happy if only for these brief periods together, at least baby Ben had known love, the absolute and pure love of his father. Suddenly though everything changed. The orb began to pulsate at an increasing rate and at the same time she felt Cole's fear begin to rise, a fear that quickly turned to terror as he realized what was happening. As Piper felt the emotions she also knew what Cole did and that was that it was time, a time that Cole hoped and prayed would never come. It was the time when she and her sisters had vanquished the Seer and killed the innocent child named Ben.
Daddy, it's time for me to go.
Suddenly the childlike voice seemed to mature as the child became the comforter for his father. Cole knew what was happening and he didn't want it to happen. His heart and soul cried out for his son, his innocent child that wouldn't even get the chance to be born. He found he couldn't stop his tears as he rose from the ground, holding the pulsating orb closer to himself. As he tried to protect his son he felt baby Ben begin to slip away and he felt a kind of pain he never knew existed, a pain that threatened to bring him to his knees as it tore at his heart and soul.
I will always love you daddy just as I know that you will always love me.
"NO!" Cole screamed as he watched the orb slowly fade away, knowing that his son was heading for the Abyss and the devourer that lived within it; knowing that pain was all that was left for his little one to feel, to experience and he couldn't even protect him. As the last of the light faded from his cupped hands he fell to his knees, his pain and despair too heavy on his heart.
"He was an innocent little baby!" Cole screamed through his tears, not even sure whom he was yelling at but still needing to vent some of his anger before it swallowed him whole. He felt a severe stabbing pain in his side, his wound being ripped open even further but he paid it no mind. His heart was bleeding in a way he never thought possible, his need to lash out taking control.
"He was an innocent little boy, Phoebe. You're supposed to protect the innocent! Why Phoebe? Why?" Cole's voice was rising with each word until he was practically screaming again, the blood pouring down his side unnoticed. "Do you hate me so much that you would kill our child? He was just a little boy! An innocent little boy!" Cole fell to his knees, his legs finally giving out on him as the blood loss caught up with his all too fragile human body.
"Damn you Phoebe. Damn you and your holier than thou sisters. You don't care do you? You never did." Cole's words became quieter with each breath, his strength finally leaving him as he collapsed, his tall frame curling in on itself as he sobbed quietly for the child, his child that never got to be. He silently vowed to never forget Baby Ben and to find a way to return to light his son's candle in the Hall of Memory; but for right now he simply wanted to cry.
Piper found her breath catching in her throat as she heard and felt Cole's words… his pain. She had never felt pain like this, not even when she lost Prue. This was what a parent felt with the loss of a child. She felt his pain suffocating her, not his physical pain as that was barely felt anymore; no it was his emotional pain that was eclipsing everything else, it was drowning her. Just as she felt the emotions close over Cole she felt him slip away. Suddenly she couldn't feel him anymore.
Her mind knew that he would live, after all these were only memories of the past but that didn't stop her heart from clenching in her chest as she frantically looked for any signs of movement from his now very still form. Finally though she saw the slight stirring of his chest as it rose and fell rhythmically. Thank God he is breathing. Piper thought to herself though she still remained acutely aware of how shallow that breathing was, the large pool of blood slowly spreading out from his curled up form weren't helping much either.
It was then that she realized that something was different, that they hadn't left this time. But Cole is unconscious so whose memory is this? She thought to herself, never expecting an answer but she got one anyway.
"It's the Balance, Piper. It's taken over and is showing you something it feels it must." Tim had felt something change within the Power of the Circle as a new Power mixed with his own. He knew it was the Balance itself, the knowledge he had been entrusted with safeguarding told him that. What he didn't know was what it was going to show them. Very shortly though he found out and this time he paid as much attention to what was happening as Piper did.
Pee Wee looked to Pandy, neither knowing what was about to happen. What they did know was that it wasn't any of their charges memories. Pee Wee felt exceptionally bad since he had been the Vision Keeper, but when Letore took his eye she took most of his power to see what was to come. Quickly though he pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on what was happening around them knowing that what was about to happen was going to be very important to Piper and for some reason Cole as well. He didn't know how he knew but he did.
Raven landed with a loud grunt, her back being skewered by small rocks in the coarse sand. Her fall had not been too far, maybe a story or two but the landing was a rough one; even so she quickly jumped to her feet. Her centuries of training and conditioning however played little role in her quickness; no, it was the feeling of her little one nearby that prompted her swift movements as she eagerly sought him out. She could feel that he was in pain and judging by the intensity she was sure that he was close by. As she started looking around herself she realized that she was in the Wasteland, someplace she isn't supposed to be able to go, just as she couldn't go Up There as the Elders had come to call it. It was one of the ways that the Balance protected itself, this way no one side could use her or her powers to alter the rules of death. It was something that she understood and readily accepted. After about thirty seconds of searching her eyes landed on his collapsed form, less then a second later she took off.
She made very short work of the distance but just before she reached him something landed on her back, driving her to the ground. Her first instinct was to attack to protect her hurt little one but before she committed herself she sensed something she shouldn't have. "Matheous? What are you doing here? Or better yet how did you get here?" She asked the man that was rolling off her back.
"I have no idea my pet. I shouldn't even be able to be here in the first place." Matheous answered her as he looked around himself. "Oh I definitely shouldn't be here and neither should you. How did we get here?"
"I think maybe he had something to do with that." She explained, pointing to her little one's still form a few feet away, which she knew wasn't even necessary as Matheous was her mate and her little one's Grandfather and could find him as easily as she could.
"Oh Gods! What happened?" Matheous demanded as he quickly knelt down next to Cole, gently brushing the damp hair from their little one's forehead. When he was met by only silence he looked back at Raven and he knew. "It was the Charmed Ones wasn't it? They did this didn't they? She did this!" He was becoming more and more angry and would have continued to rant if Raven hadn't come forward and taken his free hand in hers.
"Matheous please? Now is not the time. We have to figure out who summoned you here because you really can't be here." Raven could see the pain in his eyes and she could easily understand it. He was her mate in heart, mind, and soul yet they could only be together for a fortnight every one hundred years, the rest of the time Matheous would have to use his link to her to know what was happening with their family. He had never gotten to see his son be born or grow up with his own eyes; he had never gotten to see his own grandson be born or grow up with his own eyes. No, everything her love knew was gleaned directly from her, from watching their family through her eyes. He had only seen their little one here once and that was fifty years ago and he had never seen their son Benjamin at all with his own eyes.
Both she and Matheous knew it had to be this way but that didn't mean that they had to love the idea. Of course neither of them had expected this to happen either, becoming parents and then grandparents. It just wasn't supposed to happen but it did and at that moment their lives had once again changed, irrevocably and permanently just as it had all those tens of centuries ago when they had been separated by Duty.
Over thirteen thousand years ago they had returned to their homeland of Dragonish. They knew that something was wrong the minute they had entered the main hall of their family Keep. What her parents, the Lord and Lady of House Amythdon, had to tell them was nothing short of horrifying. Dragon's mated for life and theirs was only just beginning, barely a century together and they were being told that they had to separate, that they were being sent to separate Realms. When they had asked why the answer told them all that they needed to know.
Each of them had been working with a particularly unstable Realm, both in terms of peace and power. Raven had easily adapted to the Belthadon Realm while Matheous had done likewise with the Katari Realm. Both Realms were large and contained much raw power, so much so that a Natural Balance had come into play within each, a Balance that would protect the Realms from destroying themselves, a Balance that was itself alive. It was with these two respective Balances that Raven and Matheous worked so closely and over time each of them had developed a working rapport with the Balance of their assigned Realm. Unfortunately for them the very same rapport that they had worked hard to achieve was the very thing that ended up separating them.
It was explained that these particular Realms, especially the Belthadon Realm were becoming a danger as creatures from other Realms sought the raw power that existed there as a part of its natural order. It had been decided, with the help of representatives of the two Balances that Raven should return to Belthadon whilst Matheous returns to the Katari Realm. It hadn't sounded too bad to Raven and Matheous, at first anyway. However as the discussion continued they soon realized what was really being called for. Once each returned to their Realms, the Realms would then be sealed; no other creatures from any other Realm would be able to enter Belthadon just as no creature from Belthadon could ever leave and the same would happen to the Katari Realm. This would mean that not only could they no longer be together as mates normally were but they would also never be allowed to return home. Once the Realms were sealed it was for Eternity or until such time as either Raven or Matheous deemed their Realms safe and both knew the chances of that happening. No they would never return home again either.
Even as their personal world crumbled around them they knew what they had to do. They would have to say goodbye to each other and their home. Yes they loved each other with the whole of their hearts, minds, and souls and it was because of this love that they would follow the road of Honor and fulfill their respective Destiny's. They both knew and understood that even though they appeared to be choosing their jobs rather than each other, it couldn't be further from the truth. The Realm of Dragonish was powerful, very powerful but its power was tempered by the sense of Honor its inhabitants shared and while the ruling council tried very hard not to make its people have to sacrifice what Raven and Matheous were about to there were times and situations where the sacrifice could not be helped. Now was such a time.
Raven remembered the day that they said goodbye to each other, believing that they would never see, never touch each other again. As they walked away from each other, each moving to stand by the Balance representative from their Realm something strange happened. Her Uncle Draco and Aunt Tia stepped up to her parents, the Heads of the ruling council and spoke in hushed tones. She had looked over to Matheous but she could tell by the look on his face he knew just what she did and that was nothing. After a few minutes Aunt Tia had moved to stand with Matheous while her Uncle Draco and moved to stand next to her, both were still in their Dragon forms though; she and Matheous had already changed into the forms that they used when in their respective Realms.
When Raven had asked Uncle Draco what was going on she was stunned by what he told her. Apparently he and his mate, Tia, were going to go with them, Tia with Matheous and he with her. Fortunately both Realms operated at relatively the same time frames, so once every one hundred years she and Matheous would be allowed to be together for a fortnight. When she asked how it was possible he had told her that he and his mate would take their places as Warrior Guardians of the Balance temporarily so that she and Matheous could be together. To say that Raven and Matheous were stunned was putting it mildly. Since doing as he suggested would mean that her Uncle and Aunt would never be together again they both told them that their sacrifice wasn't necessary but her Uncle and Aunt would have none of it and told them that it was already done.
Raven and Matheous thanked her Aunt and Uncle as they accepted the gift that they were being given with the Honor it was due. Raven then said goodbye to her parents and her baby sister while Matheous said goodbye to his parents who were also in the Great Hall as well as his baby brother. Lastly they said goodbye to each other, their parting kiss one that would have to last them for one hundred years.
Raven's mind snapped back to the present, pulling itself away from the old memories that she could still see in her mind's eye as if it had only happened yesterday. Looking down at their curled up little one she could see the resemblance plain as day, their little one was the perfect combination of herself and Matheous, even more so than their son Benjamin. As she watched her mate carefully card his finders through their little one's hair she could see the love and pain clearly in his eyes and she felt guilty. Though she may not have been able to truly be with her little one a lot over the years at least she could watch him with her own eyes, but Matheous couldn't even do that. He loved Cole just as he loved Benjamin and her and it hurt him that he could not be there for them.
As centered as Matheous was on his grandson he didn't even flinch when her fingers brushed the side of is face; instead he nuzzled her hand taking comfort from the physical contact. His heart sobbed quietly for his grandson as he cradled him in his arms, heedless of the blood that was beginning to coat his arms. Even though he was unconscious, Matheous could still feel his pain both physical and emotional such was the strength of their bond. "My pet, why? Why have they done this? Why have they hurt him like this?" Matheous asked, desperate in his need to understand why the Charmed Ones had done this.
"Because they suffer from ego, my love. They … they simply don't understand and they aren't willing to look, to learn. They are shortsighted and it will cost them." Raven tried to explain but she found her own words lacking so in the end she simply let her emotions do the talking. She could see the tears in his eyes as he felt her emotions and came to understand what had truly happened. She had tried to shield her love from the most recent events in their little one's life but now she had no choice but to show him. "Matheous, we still need to find out how you came to be here … especially here in the Wasteland." Before her love could even venture a guess the answer they sought found them.
I brought you here.
Raven and Matheous looked at the glowing orb with shock. They could feel the soul within it and knew who he was instantly.
"Baby Ben?" Raven's voice was barely a whisper.
Yes Great Grammy, Great Granddaddy … it's me. I brought you here. You need to help me help my daddy and I don't have much time. The Charmed Ones have already vanquished the Seer and me with her. I was drawn to the Abyss but before the Devourer could get me I was pulled back here. It was daddy who pulled me back. He loves me.
They could feel the child's pride as he spoke of his daddy and they couldn't help but smile. Suddenly a wave of love, pure love washed over them and that love wasn't only for their little one but for them as well. The glowing orb pulsed a little faster as Raven and Matheous answered the child by sending their own love back to Baby Ben. The child's next words brought tears to their eyes.
Please help me save my daddy? Please? He hasn't done anything wrong. Please?
They could see that the child didn't have much time before even his daddy's love wouldn't be able to keep him here any longer. Raven and Matheous looked to each other as the child's plea brought fresh tears to their eyes. Each wanted to be able to give the child, their great grandson the answer he wanted but they simply didn't know how. They watched the glowing orb bounce around his daddy's head as if caressing his face; this movement brought him into direct contact with Matheous' hand. At that moment Matheous knew what he had to do.
"My pet, I know what we have to do now." He knew that she too had found the answer by the tears that were falling anew down her cheeks. "Oh my pet, do not cry for me. I am finally going to be able to do what I have dreamed of doing since Benjamin was born." He could feel her slight resistance but knew without a doubt that she would do what was needed, after all this was an innocent child and his innocent father but more importantly they were family and for a Dragon there is nothing more important than family. They would fight to the death for their race's Honor yes, but they would also fight to the death for their families as well. "My pet, it's time for me to finally get to show our grandson here just how very much I love him. Yes I know that you have told him and I told him when I saw him 50 years ago but we never really had any time together to really show him. Now I can. Please don't make me ask."
She knew what he was saying and she understood it but that didn't mean that she wanted to do what was going to be needed of her. It didn't mean that she loved her mate more than her grandson and great grandson it simply meant that she loved her mate, her Matheous. She was about to reach her other hand out to him but she felt something wet fall on it first. Looking down she found it hard to breathe.
Matheous followed his mate's line of sight and knew that their time was running out. He watched, holding his breathe, as a thin line of blood trickled out of the corner of their little one's mouth, the droplets slowly falling onto his mate's hand. His eyes went to his chest and saw how shallowly he was breathing. His little one was dying and he had no intentions of letting that happen.
"It's time my pet. I will always be with you. Remember that. I love you my little one and you too my even littler one. I will always be with you as well." Matheous gently kissed his forehead before carefully lowering his little one back to the ground. Moving a few yards away he came to a halt only to find Raven already standing in front of him. He looked into her eyes, into her soul and couldn't hold back his own tears, his falling tears now matching hers.
"I love you Matheous. You are my heart, my mind, and my soul. You are my mate in all things. I am you and you are me. Together forever." Raven's voice shook a little as she spoke what would be her final words to the only creature she has ever pledged herself to and would ever pledge herself to, her one and only soul mate.
"I love you Ravenor. You are my heart, my mind, and my soul. You are my mate in all things. I am you and you are me. Together forever." Matheous' voice also shook a little as he spoke what would be his final words to the only creature he has ever pledged himself to and would ever pledge himself to, his one and only soul mate.
They came together in a final kiss, a kiss that each poured their entire being into since it would be their last. As they pulled apart, each raised their hand to the others face to carefully catch a single tear; with shaking hands they brought their collected tear to their own lips and tasted, one final time, the heart and soul of their mate. Stepping apart, Ravenor moved to stand beside their little while whilst their littlest one hovered protectively over his unmoving daddy.
Raven watched as Matheous called upon his power and morphed back into his natural form, the 2 story tall purple scaled Dragon then reared back his head while he flapped his powerful wings, shaking himself out. As his intense eyes looked down upon her, Raven found herself fighting back her tears once again as she held out her hands, palms facing up as if to form a bowl. As she raised her cupped hands above her head she bowed her head forward. She was both glad and sad that she wouldn't be able to watch. She wasn't sure that she would be able to simply stand there and do nothing but she was sad that there would be no one to witness her beloved's crossing over. A moment later she felt his power was over her, caressing her before disappearing. She lowered her hands and raised her eyes to find… nothing where he mate had once stood. A single tear fell, landing with a small splash on the beating heart that was held securely in her cupped hands.
Great Grammy.
Raven turned to face her little ones at the sound of the small voice.
I'm sorry Great Grammy.
"There is no need for you to be sorry my littlest one. We will not mourn him, but rejoice in his life and his love." Raven moved to stand next to her little one's so very still form. Carefully she kneeled down, needing to be close to her little one's wound to complete the spell. Closing her eyes in concentration she spoke in the ancient language of her home world. As her voice went silent she closed her hands around the still beating heart that moments ago and been her mate's, the blood flowing between her fingers and onto her little one's side. What she hadn't seen was the glowing orb that was her great grandson move to hover between the blood flowing from her hands and his daddy. As the blood coated the orb it began to pulsate even faster before collapsing in on itself, the light disappearing into the wound before the healing properties of the blood closed the wound. When Raven opened her eyes they were gone and very quickly so was she. "You won't be forgotten, either of you. I shall light a candle for you my mate, my beloved and for you, our littlest one Baby Ben, your daddy shall light your candle himself. I promise." With those words, spoken to the wind of the Wasteland, Raven vanished as well.
The images around the Circle of Power dissolved once more into Gram's office. Piper was still sitting on the ground with Pandy held firmly in her lap. Tim was standing behind Piper with Pee Wee held firmly in his arms. Uncle D was standing to the left of them, the look on his face one of mystery. It was clear that he knew a secret but it was also clear that that secret would be known by all very soon if the look that passed between himself and Pee Wee were anything to go by.
Tim watched and felt the Circle of Power come down, washing itself away. It was then that he realized that Uncle D was there and from where he was standing he had to have been within the Circle before is dissipated. "Uncle D how did you get here?" Tim also knew that he hadn't heard the door open either and with Grams' shields in place no one should have been able to get in, not even Uncle D.
"I faded in my dear Timothy and don't worry the protection spells are still in place, I simply went through them and don't worry no one else but I can do that." Uncle D looked to each of the four who were now staring at him. "I know all of you are wondering why the Balance stepped in and showed you what it did."
"Baby Ben. He isn't gone is he?" Piper had no idea where the very idea had come from. If it hadn't been for the look on Uncle D's face she would have believed that it was her own guilty conscious trying to assuage itself. Instead of dwelling on this she rose to her feet, turning to face Uncle D directly as she continued to absentmindedly scratch Pandy behind her ears. "Uncle Draco, please I have to know." Piper's need was great and she would beg the purple dragon for her answer if she had to, fortunately for her though Uncle D spoke up before she had to.
Uncle D knew what no one else here did, not even his own niece knew. However, before he said anything he had to know how much they had all sensed during the last displacement. "You will know Piper, you will but first I must know how much did you glean from what you saw?"
"If you are asking if we felt what they did the answer is yes. I have no idea why I am not crying my eyes out right now, the pain both emotional and physical were intense and powerful."
"That my dear Timothy is because the Balance showed you and in doing so it helped you assimilate the information and emotions faster than you would be able to normally. You will all probably have dreams about what you have seen and experienced as your subconscious assimilates your experiences in a more normal fashion but right now it is short of time. The Balance, as you have learned is a sentient creature unto itself and it is seeking to protect this Realm from destroying itself. To that end it has shown you what you need to see. And in answer to your question Piper, yes Baby Ben is still alive and."
"He's living inside of Cole but Cole doesn't know it does he?" Piper was beginning to learn not to jump to conclusions for any reason and after what she has done to Cole and Baby Ben in the past she intends to never jump to conclusions ever again.
"No Piper he doesn't. Actually you four are the only ones that know." Uncle D waited for Piper to get angry with him and the Balance, to basically lose it. He smiled when she didn't. She is learning fast. She will make it. Uncle D was beginning to feel very confident that Piper would be ready for what was still ahead for her. He did however decide to wait until they were all together again before explaining the rest.
"All right people it is time to get back. Cole and Darryl have already left for Judge Tigera's chambers and breakfast awaits." Uncle D couldn't help but smile as all four looked to the clock on the wall. "Yes it has been that long and before you ask Timothy, Cole knows that Piper is coming back with me and will be there when he wakes up. And before you ask Piper, he is due for the third backlash attack and will more than likely have it while in the judge's chambers. As for you being there he asked me about you before they left. He's worried about you being out of the Manor by yourself." Uncle D watched as Piper's eyes filled with tears at his words. He was actually glad for those tears, it meant that she was moving ever closer to her true destiny and in doing so saving the lives of his family. Pandy's voice brought him back to the moment.
"Uncle D, I think it would be good if we went back to the Manor now. Piper has seen and experienced a lot in the last few hours and I think we could all use some time to adjust before Cole and Darryl come home." Pandy had seen and felt Piper move too quickly through some of her emotions and she wanted some time to talk with her charge before she had to face Cole and Darryl, give Piper some time to think through things so that she didn't get overwhelmed when she talked to them. If Piper were to lose it in front of Cole she just knew that Cole would blame himself and that would simply be self-defeating for all concerned.
"Pandy is right. We could all use some down time." Pee Wee may not have been connected to Tim but he could still feel and sense that Tim was also wound very tight and in need of some unwinding time before facing his Uncle and Darryl.
"All right then, everybody grab on and I'll get us all back to the Manor post haste." Uncle D waited for Tim and Piper to place their furry little friends on his back; once they were positive that neither was going to fall off they both moved forward, each grabbing a hold of one of his upraised front talons. "Everybody ready?" A round of 'yes' was heard right before they faded from Grams' office, leaving behind only a residual burn mark on the floor where the Circle of Power had once been. As he faded out Uncle D made a mental note to himself to have the mark removed before his Raven, or Cole or Darryl for that matter were to see it. More stress my family does not need.
Okay guys, I hope you liked it and once again please review!!! Muse lives for reviews !!!