A/N: I want to get this all up for you guys so here is Chapter 18...only 2 more after this!
GollumRox: Yea I know Katie, and that is very very sad. She has been in some of my classes ever since middle school! Yea PoA wasnt that good but I had very HIGH expectations. It will get higher points once I see it again. and hehehe Ewan in Emma...I am ashamed to say I own that movie...but cuz of Ewan!
This Chapter is Dedicated to my friend in good ol' Scotland, LYNDSAY! I was suck for atleast an hour trying to find a song for this and she got on and found one in 2 seconds! and for having very good taste in music (hehehe I'm loving Snow Patrol)
Chapter 18.
Satine stayed in bed for days at a time. Christian helped her with passing the time. He had brought along some of his favorite books to read to her. So far they had gotten through Great Expectations, Pride and Prejudice, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Taming Of The Shrew and Sense and Sensibility. They were now working on some of Shakespeare's Sonnets. And that is how they passed the many days of Satine's illness. Interrupted by checkups from the doctor or Satine's constant coughing.
And just when Christian thought she was getting better she would relapse and have a bad attack. But he stayed supportive and positive, Satine needed him and he would always be there for her.
Satine and Christian sat out on the balcony reading on one of Satine's better days.
He was continuing on with the Sonnets when he came upon his favorite one. He looked up at Satine and recited the 18th one to her from memory.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Satine smiled at him and he held his hand out to her. She got up from across the balcony where she was looking out over the edge and took his hand. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you to Christian, I love you so much." She told him snuggling closer to him.
"How are you feeling darling?" he asked.
She was about to answer when her body answered for her. She began to cough violently as Christian handed her a handkerchief. She took it and brought it up to her mouth and continued to cough. She was getting light headed and everything was starting to blur, then after a while of coughing she fainted in Christian's arms.
Christian looked down at Satine and his eyes immediately went to the handkerchief, which was covered in blood. He quickly took Satine and put her on the bed and then ran off to find the doctor.
He found the doctor in his study reading, "Satine, she fainted, come quick." He told him out of breath.
The doctor went with him immediately with out question. When they arrived in the bedroom Christian went straight to the bed next to Satine. The doctor took out a stethoscope from his bag to check her pulse. It took him a while to fine one it was so faint. Then he checked her out fully, dreading the results. When he was finished he turned to Christian whose eyes were full of hope and love.
"Christian.... I'm sorry, she has taken a turn for the worst; I don't know how long she will last. I am not even sure if she will make it through the night." He told the young man.
Christian looked at the doctor shocked. "What are you talking about, she was doing just fine a little bit ago. She can't be dying she is fine." He told the doctor.
"I know the illness can be like that, one minuet she will be fine and the next she can be an inch from death."
"There has to be something we can do, anything?"
"I'm sorry, there is nothing we can do. She is in God's hands now," the doctor said to Christian. "All you can do is stay by her side, and pray to god for a miracle."
Christian looked at the doctor with tears streaking down his face as he left the room. He then moved his gaze towards Satine. He couldn't lose her; he would die with out her. He needed her more than he needed his next breath. He didn't know what he would do with out her.
Christian slowly rose from the bed and went to get a chair from across the room. He brought it over next to Satine's bed and sank down, taking her hand in his.
How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?
Oh, I need you in my arms,
Need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now
Satine was his life she meant everything to him. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms forever.
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
He wouldn't be able to live with out her, what would be the reason to?
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now,
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
He would be lost with out her. His father would make him come back and work for him but he would be useless, too heart broken to do anything.
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything,
I need you with me,
Baby don't you know that you're everything,
Real in my life?
She couldn't leave him; she was the world to him.
And tell me now,
How do I live without you,
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
How do I live without you?
How do I live without you baby?
How do I live?
He couldn't live, it was plain and simple, it was impossible for him to live with out her now, she was too much of a part of him.
"I cant live with out you Satine." He whispered through his tears.
A/N: wipes tear from eye so sad. Song: How Do I Live by Leanne Rimes! Thx Lyndsay!