SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1CrAzY/mAd
Disclaimer: If I owned Slam Dunk, I wouldn't be slogging for my senior year exam. Instead, I would be lounging around at home, reading fan fiction 24/7 and not worrying about the Internet bills. Well, since I don't own anything…go figure.
Rating: I decided to change the rating to PG-13
Synopsis: Instead of OC's going to Japan as foreign exchange students, why don't the SD boys come instead? Chaos follows when they head to sunny Malaysia…
Pairings: Little bit slashed, but nothing to worry about. Pairings shall remain a mystery until later chapters.
a/n: Hey there everyone! It's Arty again! I've tried to update this chappie as fast as possible, so thanks to those who so patiently waited. *Phew* for the past few weeks, I've been like, so busy, with the exams, more exams, getting results, begging the teacher to give extra marks and what not! [I think I'm going to fail my computer studies paper...(.) ] once more, let me start by thanking the super marvelous and FAB reviewers of this fic!
Chibiangel: conflict between Josh and Sakuragi? Hmm, I'll consider. "Kesian" is sort of thing you say when you pity someone. (Am I making sense?)
Iluvenis Telperian: Nota is cute, ne? I like him too! (~.^);;
Unquestionable: Yeah. Lucky Elaine.. She's got Rukawa. I had to put the coming to school late thing in because I'm perpetually late for school.
Cinnamon Stick: you lost your 'Nota-kun' in a fire? So sad! Anyway, congrats on you getting highest for chemistry. You failed sejarah? Poor thing! (Actually history is my fave subject and the only reason I pass is cos I crap like hell in the essay part). Are you in form 4? Lucky you, enjoy before form 5 begins. BTW, Man U rocks!!! *wears Man U jersey*
Akane: hahahaha. Thanks. I like your site BTW.
Miracle: In my humble opinion, my school uniform is damn ugly, especially the pinafore. *makes face* if only our uniforms are like the kind you see in those Japanese and Korean dramas. I think shirts and pleated skirts are way better than the apron which I wear under protest to school.
Crazy4u: Yeah! Say no to war! Peace rules! *puts on headband and waves the flag wildly* school food stinks! I agree! Um I haven't been to a rumah sukan practice since I was in form 1 or form 2, and now I'm in like–form 5? Some people just have talents that don't involve grass and cheerleading. Can I have your e-mail? I would like to get to know you better.
TehTarik: Hahaha. Thank you. I kept playing my version of "Yesterday" on the piano till my dad got sick of it and got me a new com. *Bwahahaha* I'm starting to kesian Rukawa, but on second thought...nah. But don't worry, this isn't a Rukawa Bashing fic. Wanna know what's in Mitsui's bag...read on! [my friend "Baka" gave me the idea]
Eliar Swiftfire: The reason I created the fictional school (yes, Davidson John High is fictional) was to make the school sound more...interesting? I mean, come on, which sounds better? SMK Damansara Jaya or Davidson John High? Go figure...but since SMKDJ sounds more Malaysian than DJ High, so I decided to change it.
Okay, so on to chapter 6!
Chapter 6: We like chest hair?!?
Kaede Rukawa POV
"NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! KITSUNE GOT A BLACK EYE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SERVES YOU RIGHT!!"
I wanted to wince as I heard that wild monkey's laugh echo down the corridors. That brutish cross dresser's idea of waking me up was to punch me. Damn, he, I mean she packed a mean punch. My right eye was throbbing as I stalked after the do'aho. Maybe if I concentrated hard enough, I could put a hex on him. I meant her.
Stare.
Stare.
Stare.
Ouch. My eye hurts.
"What are you looking at? Haven't you seen a black eye before?" she screamed at one of her classmates who happened to have the misfortune to be the first to set eyes upon her. I snorted. As if anyone noticed you do'aho, I thought inwardly.
She whirled on me. "It's all your fault you brainless doink!" she screeched. "Because of you everyone's asking what happened to my eye!" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Trust me, if it wasn't in self defense, I wouldn't have even dreamt of having any physical contact with you, let alone punching you, do'aho. Besides, no one disturbs my sleep and gets away with it.
Hmm. This desk is quite comfortable. It's perfect for sleeping on! Aah..if only the desks in school was this comfortable. *yawn* I'm so sleepy...
Elaine Soo POV
"Ugh! If it wasn't for you, no one would be staring at me! It's all your fault!" I ranted. Since I stepped into school, I have been approached by almost every Tom, Dick, and Harry and have been asked what happened to my eye.
"Wargh! Damn you!"
"Zzzzz...." I heard a slight dripping issuing from the stupid fool.
Because of the stupid imbecile sitting next to me, I've got a black eye. I got hit during the process of waking him up. Okay, so I gave him a black eye as well, but guys aren't supposed to hit girls! Scowling hard, I glared at the stupid moron. He was sleeping again. I felt like killing him. No, wait, I felt like stuffing his pathetic corpse into an iron maiden first until he begged me to end his miserable life. Yes, I could almost see it now...
/Elaine's imagination/
I tapped on the cover of the iron maiden before me, grinning sadistically. "Wakey, Wakey Kaede....are you all right in there?"
Something like a muffled scream reached my ears. My grin widened. "Why, it isn't comfy in there? Poor thing. Let's get you out of this nasty iron maiden shall we?" I released the catch, and with a slow, cranking sort of creak, the door of the ancient torture device opened. Inside was not a pretty sight. It was obvious that the human in there had been suffering tremendously. Red liquid squirted out of the holes and splattered onto the dungeon floor. The mutilated person gave a groan.
I let out a gollem-like laugh. "I take it you didn't get along with my friend, the iron maiden?"
"Please, let me out, Elaine. I've been suffering in the iron maiden for the past three weeks..."
I placed a finger thoughtfully on my chin. "Yes, it was somewhat of a miracle you managed to last in there. Tell you what, why don't I put you out of your misery? Would you prefer that?"
"Yes, please, put my pathetic self to death," he moaned. "Kill me, just kill me! Chop off my head! Rip my entrails out, pop my eyeballs out of my head! Whatever! Just end my pain and suffering!"
"Alrighty then, if you say so," I told him as I put on a hockey mask and took out a chainsaw. An anguished shriek shook the dungeon.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! THUD! THUD! THUD! whoops. Got blood all over the floor. Well, the whole thing was a little messy, but it was something that fan's of the show "Nightmare on Elm Street" would enjoy....
/End of Imagination/
Eww. Gross. Iron maidens and hockey masks? Where did that come from? I've really got to get my head examined. But the idea of stuffing the zombie next to me into an iron maiden was rather tempting.... what the heck?!? Wargh! I've got to stop thinking so morbid! I think my visit to "Tortura" last month has something to do with the iron maiden bit...
"Eh, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked. I broke my train of thoughts, and found myself staring into my Kylie's concerned eyes. I gave her a lopsided smile and nodded.
"Okay, for a moment, I thought you were sick or something. The way you were staring off into space..." she trailed off, and gave me a mischievous grin. "Were you thinking of me?"
"What gave you that idea?" I retorted, but I had to admit, my smile had turned impish as well. No one knows this, but Kylie's actually my girlfriend. Yes, you heard right. She's my girlfriend. I'm actually bi. But of course, you didn't have to know that...
"So what really happened? He actually hit you?"
I felt a slight twinge of guilt. "Um, actually, I punched him first. It was an accident," I added quickly, after seeing the look on her face. "You see, I tried to wake him up, and accidentally got him in the eye. Then POW! Then he hit me back, saying something about no one wakes him up or some crap like that."
Kylie's eyes widened with concern. "Does your eye still hurt?"
"A bit." I was glad at all the concern I was getting from her. "Maybe you can make it get better.." I looked meaningfully at her.
"Maybe after recess..." she winked. "That is, if you're good."
"Good morning class. Please take out your text book and your maths one," the teacher swept into the class. I wanted to scream. "Your class is so dirty. Who's on duty? Go and sweep the floor-lah!" she paused for a moment, and stared at me.
"My god, Elaine, what happened to your eye?"
Arggh!!
Haruko Akagi POV
My eyes flickered over to Josh. He met my gaze, and smiled at me. I couldn't help it. I was blushing dramatically. After what happened this morning, I couldn't help squirming as the embarrassing episode replayed over and over in my head. It all started when I was using the bathroom this morning...
# Flashback#
You see, Josh's bedroom and mine are connected by a bathroom, which we both share. Well, this morning, after brushing my teeth, flossing and rinsing with my pink mouthwash, I took a bath. At first, it all went okay, I pumped two pumps of my favorite strawberry scented liquid bubble bath soap, and scrubbed myself with my purple loofah. After rinsing the soap off, I toweled myself dry and...
And right at that moment, Josh came into the bathroom without his shirt on.
Well, of course, he didn't see me in the nudie! I had my fluffy yellow towel on!
"Oh, good morning Haruko," he said and took his toothbrush. "Don't mind me, I've got to bush my teeth." he stopped a while, and sniffed. "Wow, I like the soap you used. Is smells nice." with another smile, he started to brush his teeth.
*Blush* "Er....."
#End of Flashback#
What I didn't know was that Josh, my host, the boy whose house I would be staying in for the next two months had chest hair!!
Maybe I ought to explain. I don't like to see body hair on guys, especially chest hair on guys! It's just so gross and disgusting to see little wiggles of dark hair on their chest! I can't stand to see even one strand of hair! Even Onee-Chan has no chest hair! I know Rukawa-kun also has no Chest Hair! As for Hanamichi, I know he has a chest as bald as an egg!
/somewhere in Malaysia, Akagi sneezed. In 5 Cengal, Rukawa sneezed in his sleep, sending snot, and drool flying all over Elaine. An explosive sneeze shook the class of 5 Merbau as Hanamichi sneezed/
Well, whatever is it, I wish Josh didn't have chest hair! Just the thought of it made me break out into gooseflesh.
Josh Wong POV
I have chest hair. Haruko must like me.
Artemis Li POV
I HATE ADD MATHS! I HATE ADD MATHS! I HATE ADD MATHS! I HATE MY WHINY ADD MATHS TEACHER. I HATE ADD MATHS. I scribbled listlessly onto the cover of my additional mathematics textbook, not paying attention to the feeble teacher in front who was yapping about integration. I glanced at Susan, who was sitting on my left. She seemed to be paying close attention to what Mrs. Cheng was saying. I continued scribbling on my textbook with a renewed zest.
"Class, are you listening? Class! Look here! Hello, are you listening to me? Look here I say!" just the sound of her made the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. DIE ADD MATHS TEACHER! DIE! DIE! DIE! I underlined the last "die" three times. Why oh why am I subjected to such torture? Just listening to Mrs. Cheng was as bad as being strapped to an electric chair and forced to listen to Aaron Carter songs.
I mean, what is the use of learning add maths? I think the only reason we learnt add maths is so that we can help our future children do their add maths homework! I certainly didn't need add maths when I became a rich and famous writer. After all, imagination beats calculation by any day! I sighed as I looked at my watch. 30 more minutes until recess.
I took out my liquid paper and started doing the school a favor by decorating their ugly blue plastic tables. First, I drew a smiley face and wrote ARTY under it. Next, I wrote ADD MATHS SUCK! This was followed by a "I LOVE MATCHBOX 20". Finally, I drew a cow on the corner of my table and labeled it "Mrs. Cheng"...
"Artemis, what are you doing?" Kogure asked softly and leaned over to look. He grinned when he saw the cow. "Don't you think it looks like her?" I whispered to him. He gave me a sideways look and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "You really should be listening to what your teacher is saying though," he said.
"Over my dead body," I said, maybe a little too loudly. That got my add maths teacher's attention though. Her neck whipped towards my direction and gave me a scathing look. "What are you doing Artemis? You don't look as if you are paying any attention!"
I put my arm over the graffiti I had just drawn. "I'm listening," I told her. "Really, I am."
Her eyes narrowed. "I don't believe you." I resisted the urge to jump up and smack her across the head. If she didn't believe what I had said, why did she bother to actually ask? I just gave her an innocent look. "But I was listening Mrs. Cheng."
"Hmm. Show me what are you covering there," she looked at my arm and advanced to my place. If she saw what I did to the table– oh crap. I'm going to be in trouble.
Kiminobu Kogure POV
The teacher advanced over to out place. It looked like Artemis was going to get into trouble if she saw the cow. All of a sudden, I felt something was being pushed into my hand. It was Artemis's correction pen! Just at that moment, the teacher loomed over the table. Her face was going through some strange contortions when she saw all the drawings and graffiti on the table.
"What is the meaning of this?" she asked as she pointed to the cow. Her eyes flickered towards the correction pen which was currently clasped in my hand.
For a moment my heart almost stopped. At that point, I would have gladly wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Not in my 12 years of schooling have I gotten into trouble like that!
"Oh, Kogure was just showing his appreciation, Mrs. Cheng. It's a sort of tradition in Japan where students draw cows on the table to show their deep respect and uh–utter admiration towards their educators," Artemis blurted out. What? I stared at her. That was total nonsense, and the teacher would obviously know that.
"I've studied in Osaka for a year," the teacher retorted. "And I've never heard of such a silly thing before." she gave me the evil eye. *gulp* I was in hot soup!
"Well, it's a Kanagawa Tradition," Artemis countered quickly. "All over in Kanagawa, students draw cows on their table that symbolizes the strength of the teacher. I mean, cows are like, really strong, and–aiyah! It actually shows how much they respect their teachers. Right?" she gave me a meaningful look.
"Uh, right."
"There you go," Artemis gave the teacher a bright sunny smile. "You should be flattered-lah teacher! He likes your class so much!" I glanced nervously at the teacher. Her face actually seemed to be softening. Kami-sama, don't tell me she was actually buying Artemis's lame story?!?
"Okay class, you ought to learn form your Japanese friend. Respect your teachers! Understand? Now," she went back to the whiteboard. "Let's go on with integration." I couldn't believe my ears. No one was that dumb! I mean, Artemis's blabbing about the cows and Kanagawa tradition was crap!
"Bugger integration. Stupid teacher," Artemis mumbled and started scribbling on the table again, now with a fat black marker pen.
Okay, maybe Malaysian teachers are not so bright... [Arty: no offence meant if there are any teachers reading this, but I really want to rant about my lame add maths teacher who cannot teach add maths at all! *scowls* stupid teacher. BTW: graffiti rules!! \(^o^)/]
Hanamichi Sakuragi POV
It was now my favorite part of school. Recess. I was feeling hungry after half a day of sitting in class. The Tensai is now hungry. I craned my neck and looked towards the crowd of people lining up to buy food, trying to find Melanie. She said she would be gone for a while. A while? It felt as if she had been gone forever. Where was Haruko-chan by the way? I haven't seen her the whole morning!
"Okay, here you go," Melanie came up and pushed a can of coke and a bowl of steaming noodles towards me. "It's prawn noodles, and a coke to wash it down." I slurped everything down quickly. It was spicy and a had a yummy taste. Prawn noodles were great! I put the bowl down with a thunk.
"That was good. Can you get me some more?"
Melanie Yen POV
He actually ate the prawn noodles. He actually ate the prawn noodles. What's more, he wanted some more! Unbelievable. Someone actually thinks that the pile of old rubber bands posing as prawn noodles (minus the prawns) taste good. What's more, he wants a second helping.
Damn, that boy must have a stomach of iron. And a head of steel.
"Hey Mel," someone called. "Intro us to your friend." a group of girls surrounded us. "Wow, your hair is so red! What's your name? You're from Japan right? Is it nice there? Is it could when it snows? What do you like to do? Eh, you have muscles-ah? You're so cool!"
Hanamichi has sort of become a celebrity the moment he set foot in this school. All morning, girls have been practically throwing themselves at him! I don't see the attraction. Hanamichi is just a oversized monkey with a head that can probably bulldoze concrete and eats more than two armies! The flock of girls started giggling hard.
"Can I get you something to eat?" someone asked eagerly. "Can I belanja (belanja = treat) you a plate of rojak? (Rojak = local Malaysian food)"
"Walau, your biceps are so hard," another cooed. "You must work out a lot. Do you lift weights?" I wanted to spit out my drink across the table. Great gods above, were they actually flirting with that separuh masak ( separuh masak = immature) monkey? Just the thought of it... *shudder, shudder*
Without any warning, the carrot top bounced up, spilling soup and noodles all over everyone. "Haruko-chan! Over here!" he started waving madly. It was that annoying blur girl once more, with Josh following her closely.
I felt a twinge of jealousy. Why was my boyfriend walking next to her so closely? The annoying bimbo (actually Haruko doesn't actually qualify as a bimbo since she has got brown hair, but who cares?) returned Hanamichi's smile, and waved back.
"Hi, Hanamichi! How was your day? I'm enjoying myself so much here!" she gushed.
"I'm enjoying myself now," Hanamichi responded. "I missed you a lot Haruko-chan!"
"Josh, hi," I said in an attempt to get his attention.
He looked up. "Oh, hi Mel." he shifted back his attention to Haruko.
Hi Mel? That's is? I think his dreaminess has something to do with that–ugh!
Haruko blinked once or twice, then she smiled that annoying smile of hers once more. "I missed you too Hanamichi!" Hanamichi's face grew so red, I was afraid he had gotten heatstroke or something. "You, you missed me, Haruko?"
"Of course I did," she said cheerily. Suddenly, her cheeks turned a slight pink. "Ru-Ru-Rukawa-kun," she greeted shyly. "How are you–oh my goodness, what happened to your eye?"
Rukawa's right eye was a unflattering shade of purple. He didn't say anything, but just looked stonily ahead. I caught a glimpse of Elaine and her friend Kylie behind him. Woah, serious woah. What happened to her?
"Elaine, what happened to your eye?" she answered by scowled horrendously at me and then at Kaede.
Elaine Soo POV
If anyone asks me that question again, I'm going to whack the person up.
Kaede Rukawa POV
If anyone asks me that question again, I'm going to whack the person up.
Hisashi Mitsui POV
Peeking into my bag pack, I made sure that the little pink box was tucked safely at the bottom of my bag before I left the class. Amanda was waiting patiently outside for me.
"Are you done yet?" she asked.
"Almost," I called back. Maybe if I hid the box under the sports magazine, no one would see it...I finally settled for wrapping the box in my jacket.
"Are you ready to go for recess yet?" she asked again. "We're not allowed to stay in class during recess. What do you have in your bag that's so important?"
I shrugged casually, and went out of the class, but my mind drifted back to the incident that happened about seven years ago...
#Flashback#
"Hisashi! Where are you?" my (then) fifteen-year-old sister Sakura bounded into my room. "Ah, good, you're here! I want to try something on you."
"What is it?' I asked irritated. "I'm in the middle of something."
"It'll only take just a minute," she said, as she took some funny yellow strips out. "I just bought this brand of wax strips and I want to try it out on someone first."
"Wax what?" I asked incredulous.
"Wax strips, jeez," she said. "Anyway, show me your legs."
"What? No way! I'm not showing you my legs! Who knows what sort of hentai ideas are going through your mind!" I folded my arms and looked warily at her.
She clicked her tongue. "Come on Hisashi, I haven't got all day." she advanced on me, waving those little yellow things. "Please, be my guinea pig, indulge me, whatever. All I want to do is just test these wax strips on you first." she looked pretty desperate. I found myself relenting.
"What's in it for me?"
"You'll have silky smooth legs courtesy of me if you let me try this out on you first," she said as she peeled the plastic backing of the strips.
"Okay," I agreed, although I had a feeling that I would regret my actions later. "What do you mean by waxing my legs?"
"Just sit down first," she instructed as she pushed me into the chair. She then rolled up my pants leg and squinted at my leg. "Hmm, there isn't much hair here anyway," she grumbled as she smoothed on the sticky yellow cloth strip.
"What do you mean there isn't much hair?" I demanded. "What are you doing?"
"Just shut up and let me do this first," she shot back. Then with a sudden yank, she pulled the cloth strip off my leg. It made a horrible ripping noise.
"Ow!" I protested. "That hurt!"
"Oh, stop whining," she told me. "Now look, I just waxed your leg. It's fuzz free now." she examined my leg once more. "Hey, not bad. Not bad at all." satisfied with the results, she got up and went out of my room. Bending down, I saw there was a smooth shiny patch in the middle of slight fuzzy leg. I rubbed the patch gingerly. It felt smooth and rather nice actually. "What did you just say you did to my leg again?" I asked.
"Do you have a hearing problem or what?" her voice floated back from her room. "I said I just waxed your leg!"
"Waxed my leg," I repeated thoughtfully. "Hey, can you do the same thing to my chest as well?"
"........" [Sakura]
#End of Flashback#
Well, since then, I had discovered the wonders of waxing. Not only are wax strips used on legs, you can use it at about any part of your body. The results were a silky smooth chest, thanks to Nair's wax strips. Hey, come on, with everyone on the basketball team body hair free, I wasn't going to be the only one with fuzz growing on my chest.
Ever since Sakura introduced me to wax strips, I've been using them ever since. After all, it gets rid of body hair. For some weird reason, I had transferred my box of wax strips from my luggage to my bag pack. Don't know why though, but I felt they were safer if I carried them around with me.
"Alright, I'm done. Let's go now."
*******************************************************************************************************
Okay, so I'm twisted. Yup. I think it's something to do with studying too much add maths.
I'm currently laid up for a while after twisting my ankle. The doctor said no strenuous exercise for the time being, so that means I can slither out from PE on Monday. (Yippee!)
Oh well, until next time....[don't forget to review!! Please? Pretty please? With a cherry and whipped cream on top?]
~End of Chapter 6~