Chapter 44: Thanks For Everything.
The slamming of the door rang in his ears as he walked, angrily, out of the building. "How dare she say that about me!" Angel thought to himself, "It isn't even true. I do care about other people besides myself. And I'm not a pathetic faggot."
He grumbled to himself the entire walk to Metropolis. In the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten bus money so he was forced to walk-at least it was nice weather outside. Stuffing his hands into the glittering jeans he was wearing, he kept his head down, focusing on the concrete beneath his feet. His face burned from getting so angry-it had been years since he'd gotten in such a heated argument with another person. Usually, he was passive and never yelled back. With Mimi, it had taken all of his strength to not hit her.
His tight, red T-shirt rode up a little bit, exposing a small band of tan skin. He yanked down the shirt, continuing to walk down the blocks to the club. Six blocks and a bottle of water later, the neon electric letter glowing "Metropolis" beckoned him. If all else failed, he thought to himself, he could always get a decent blowjob in the back room. Considering how early it was for the club crowd, the line was still reasonably long. It wrapped around the corner of the building and partially down the block. Impatient and unwilling to wait in line, Angel looked down the queue to see if he knew anybody. Luckily, he recognized the doorman who he had hooked up with last week. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody, only to get a quick fuck to make himself feel better, but he put on a happy face as he approached him. Winking at him, he walked to the front of the string of people and placed his hand discretely on the doorman's thigh. The man smiled at him, showing an array of perfectly polished teeth. "I remember you," he said quietly to Angel in a deep, gravely voice, "You were good."
Angel put on a big fake smile and slipped him a ten-dollar bill.
"Go ahead." He opened the door as Angel walked through.
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
The familiar scent of the glistening, sweaty bodies swept Angel up as he entered the club. Lights blinking and men grinding greeted him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Angel smiled slightly-no matter how angry he was at Mimi, being at Metropolis always made him feel better. Now, it was time for tonight's mission: A hot guy for Angel to have sex with. He ran a hand through his short, black hair and scanned the room for tonight's fuck. He figured that having hot sex would be the best way to brighten his bitter mood. Sauntering onto the dance floor, he spotted the one he wanted. He was a generic-looking guy-definitely hot, but not exotic or special by any means-with washboard abs, spiked blonde hair, and deep green eyes. Catching his attention, Angel walked over to him quickly, grabbed the twinkie by his arm, and pulled him down. He kissed him hard and aggressively. Letting him go, the guy stood up and smiled at Angel. He smiled back, yanking the man back down to his level to kiss him again. The men began to kiss, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues.
What happened to wanting to be in love, Angel?
The words echoed loudly in his head. Shaking them off, he broke away from the kiss and grabbed the guy's hand. "Come on," he mumbled into his ear as the guy followed him off the dance floor.
Mimi's speech still swirled around in his brain while they joined the ranks of horny boys in the dark back room. With every touch and kiss from his man of the minute, Paul's words from a few months ago, and Mimi's from only hours before kept pounding into his head. Minute Man began to lift up Angel's shirt, showering his chest with kisses as he moved down to the waistband of his pants.
When you first moved in with me, you kept talking about how you wanted this fairy-tale romance and how you wanted to find your prince charming. All you've done is fuck around, insisting that this is what you want: meaningless sex, and nothing more. I don't believe it for a second.
Angel leaned his head back, taking a deep breath in and moaning in pleasure as the man unzipped his pants. Pulling them down to his ankles, he got down on his knees and began to pull Angel's briefs off. Angel smiled-the man knew what he was doing.
What happened to the Angel that I first met who believed in fairy- tale love and prince charming, huh? Where did that wonderful dream of being with one amazing man for the rest of your life go?
"Shut up," Angel mumbled harshly as the man pulled away from him for a minute.
"Shut up who?" the guy asked, confused.
"No one," he answered, pushing the guy's head back down, "keep going." The man went back to work and Angel shut his eyes once more, but the voice would not go away.
It's a good thing you gave up on love because with the way you think, you're never going to find it. You're just a self-obsessed, pathetic little faggot who will never be happy because the only the person you care about is you.
No matter how good the blowjob felt, Angel couldn't enjoy the pleasure. He'd had it. "I'm sorry," he said to the guy, yanking him up off his knees and pulling up his own pants, "I can't."
Green eyes narrowed into angry slits. "What do you mean 'I can't,'?" he asked, mocking Angel's high, feminine voice.
"I'm sorry, I just can't. I.I have to go."
"Hey!" the guy shouted at him as he began to leave, "You were the one that kissed me! You little fucking slut!"
The words stung slightly, but not as much as the speech from Mimi still ringing in his head. "I'm sorry," he apologized again.
"You're a fucking tease. Fuck you, whore."
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
"I can't even let some guy suck me off!" Angel exclaimed to himself, grumbling as he put his shirt back on before he exited the back room. Once the shirt was over his head, he attempted to walk through the doorway, only to be greeted head-on by the wall. SMACK!
"FUCK!" he yelled out loud, rubbing the spot where his forehead had made contact with the plaster.
"Gladly," a young guy said to him as he walked by.
Angel rolled his eyes and kept walking, this time careful to avoid the wall. What he didn't avoid, however, was the brick wall of a man standing in front of him. Similar to the wall only minutes ago, Angel collided full-force with the man, increasing his anger and frustration to a new level.
"GOD FUCKING DAMN-Will?" Angel asked, shocked.
"Angel?" he questioned, his soft deep voice bringing back a flood of memories.
"Oh my god!" he squealed, leaping into Will's arms and wrapping his legs around him.
"Nice to see you too," he laughed, putting Angel down as they both sat at the bar.
"Can we leave?" Angel asked eagerly.
"Sure," Will replied as they walked out the front door together.
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
"So how have you been?" Angel asked him as they walked aimlessly down the block.
"Okay. I got out from rehab a couple months ago and I've been living on my own in a little apartment a few blocks from here. I'm surprised I haven't run into you before."
"Yeah, I'm surprised too. Are you still, you know, clean?"
He smiled warmly, looking directly at Angel. "I have been for over a year. The only thing I'll ever do is drink, on occasion. I've really been trying to stay clean. It's not easy, but it gets better every day."
"I'm so proud of you," Angel said, hugging him in the middle of the sidewalk.
"So what are you up to? I figured you'd be at Life Support or something."
"How do you know about Life Support?" Angel questioned, confused.
"Oh, I've been talking to Queenie and Fred. They came to visit me a few times in rehab, didn't they tell you?"
"No," he responded, puzzled but happy. It warmed his heart to know that Queenie and Fred had put aside any hard feelings towards Will and had helped him get through the rehab process. "But I'm glad they came to see you. I'm happy that you all decided to finally become friends."
"Me too," he said vaguely, with a distant smile on his face.
"Well, I was planning on going to Life Support. I work at Mac on 12th street and 4th avenue and I usually go straight from work, but tonight I went out to dinner with Queenie, Fred, and Mimi. Did they tell you about Mimi?" he asked. Just saying her name made his fists clench with anger.
"They mentioned that you were living with a girl. I thought you had turned hetero on me for a minute, but Queenie assured me she was just a friend."
"Honestly, Will. Could I ever pass for a heterosexual?" Angel asked, standing with his hands on his hips and his head cocked to the side.
Will raised an eyebrow at him. "Good point," he agreed.
"Anyway, Mimi's a friend that I met after you. well, you know. anyway, she'd never met Fred or Queenie so I took her to meet them earlier tonight. Then I met her boyfriend and we got in a really big fight."
"You and her boyfriend? Now that I would like to see."
Angel laughed. "No, me and Mimi. She was really mean to me and I just left. I got up and walked out and I went to Metropolis."
"What did you guys fight about?" Will asked, looking genuinely concerned.
"Since I got diagnosed, I've been going out a lot. Like, I've been meeting a lot of guys and I've been 'having a good time' if you know what I mean." Will nodded, a bit surprised at Angel's behavior. He figured that after Angel got diagnosed he would have become very reclusive, if anything. The promiscuity was a shock. "Anyway, everyone seems to have a problem with it. I got in a fight with Paul, the guy who leads the Life Support meetings, a few months ago over it and Mimi and I just fought about it today."
"So she doesn't approve, then."
"No. And I don't understand what the problem is. It's my body, it's my life. I don't know why, if I want to go out and have sex and not take my AZT, Mimi has to get on my case about it. She's a junkie-did I tell you that?"
Will's eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of her being a junkie. "What did you say when you found out she was?"
"I just noticed the marks today. I told her how I don't approve of it and how she's fucking up her life by dating guys she doesn't care about and taking a drug that'll kill her if she's not careful."
Will stood in silence for a minute, then spoke. "But it's her body and it's her life."
Staring at him, Angel blinked a couple of times, shaking his head. "Why do you always have to be right?"
"Well, it's true," Will reasoned, "If you're going to get mad at her for telling you that you can't have sex and you need to take your AZT, she has every right to get mad at you for telling her she can't date this guy and she can't take heroin. To be honest, I don't really approve of anything either of you are doing. You're going to die faster if you don't take the AZT and that's the truth."
"Listen, I just-."
"And I know you. I know that you value your life, no matter how much you want it to seem like you're this hopeless case. You're not. And I don't think that having promiscuous hot sex is going to solve your problem. On the other hand, you know how I feel about drugs. Obviously, this Mimi doesn't know the real side effects of heroin. If she did, she'd stop. If I had known what a mess I would have gotten myself into when I started, I never would have touched the needle. And if this guy's treating her like shit, then she should listen to you and not date him. But it's hard to listen to someone when they're hypocritical, which you are being right now."
Angel stood quietly, processing what Will had said. With all the anger and emotion behind Mimi's and Paul's words, Angel didn't truly get the message-with Will, he did. Will had absolutely no angry feeling towards him whatsoever. He was an outside observer who made perfect sense. Cracking his knuckles, Angel stared at him. "I want to be in love," he said in a small, meek voice.
"I know you do. You're not like most other gay guys. Not to put us all in one, giant stereotype, but the fact is that a lot of gay guys don't want a loving, monogamous relationship. You do, and it's hard for you to find that in this kind of a community. But, as I said, sleeping around isn't going to help that. It's only going to make you feel even more lonely."
"You're right. You're completely right."
Will smiled at him. "I don't want to hurt you, I just want you to know the truth." He stopped in front of a small brick building with crumbling concrete stairs. "This is my place. You wanna come up?"
"I'd love to."
The two walked up the stairs (there was no elevator) to the fifth floor, where Will put his key into the rusty keyhole. As they entered, Angel wandered around looking at the rundown, cozy apartment. It was a small studio-obviously only meant for one person to live there. A small kitchenette sat in the corner with a once-white refrigerator and a stove caked in burnt residue. The overhead light illuminated the space, shining its rays into the tiny, dark bathroom. "Have a seat," Will said, motioning for him to sit on the bed.
Obeying, Angel sat down and still continued to let his eyes wander. "It's a nice space," he remarked.
"Yeah, it's cheap, too. And it's away from Chad and his buddies-that was my main concern. I never want to see any of them again."
The mention of Chad's name once again brought back a flood of memories for Angel. As if the rape had happened all over again, Angel could feel the cold stiffness of Chad's arms around him and the pain of Chad forcing himself inside of him. He tensed, hugging his knees to his chest and shutting his eyes, as if by closing them he would shut out the memory. No such luck.
"Hey," Will said, sitting down next to him, "you okay?"
Will put his arm around him and Angel tensed up even more.
"I'm sorry I mentioned him." He moved his arm away.
Sniffling, Angel looked to his right, staring into Will's sympathetic eyes. "I'm really tired. Can we just. you know. sleep together?"
Smiling, Will answered, "Of course." He got up off the bed and fished through his drawers, tossing Angel a pair of thin blue sweatpants. "These are probably more comfortable than those jeans."
Thanking him, Angel went into the bathroom and changed quickly. When he came out, Will was lying in the bed next to the wall, motioning for Angel to come in next to him. Curled up right next to him, Angel lay and held Will's hand, which was wrapped around his shoulders.
"Thanks," Angel whispered as they both drifted off to sleep.
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
"I really need to call Queenie," Angel grumbled as he sat up in bed. Will was already awake and making coffee. "She'll be glad to know I ran into you-literally."
"Yeah, she'll be worried if she doesn't know where you are. You know the way she is."
"Just looking out for your well being," the two said in unison, laughing at the way the both knew all-to-well what Queenie said.
"I think I should start looking for a new place," Angel remarked as he took a sip of the coffee Will had poured for him. "Damn, that's hot," he said, taking milk out of the refrigerator and dumping it into the coffee.
"You can't make up with Mimi?"
"After what she called me? I don't think so. And even if we did make up, I can't live with somebody like that. I can't live with an addict." Immediately after he said the last sentence, he felt bad about it. "Sorry, I didn't mean--."
"It's okay, I know what you meant. I'm not offended. You don't need to walk on eggshells around me, I can take it."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I have one person really mad at me and I didn't want to add to the list."
Will smiled, "It's okay." He poured himself another cup of coffee. "So, look in here. There's some good apartments and stuff. Maybe you can find something around Queenie and Fred. It's a neat neighborhood."
"Yeah, I could never leave the East Village. It's been my home since I was 17." Opening up the circulars, he scanned the page for something interesting.
"Ooh! This sounds nice," he remarked, reading to Will what it said, "Small living room/dining room, full kitchen 1 bath, 1 bedroom."
"That does sound nice. Maybe you've struck gold on the first one."
"Wow, this sounds really nice. It's on 11th street and Avenue A. That's really close to where I am now. I think Paul's apartment is just down the block!" Angel was getting very excited over the possibility of living near his friends and having his own place.
"Call Queenie and let her know. Maybe she'll go apartment hunting with you, or something."
Angel pouted slightly and put down the paper. "You won't go with me?"
"I wish I could, but I have work to do. Since I've been back from rehab, I got a job at the hospital, of all places. Would you believe it? Anyway, I've been giving the meds and stuff to the patients. I work mostly in the children's wing and I've met some real sweet kids there. I'm only supposed to work from 9-5, but I like to stay later and spend some extra time with the kids. The hospital staff is really great about it."
"That sounds like a good job. Do you get paid okay there?"
"I wish I could find a job that paid more, just because it's so hard to make rent with such a small salary, but the hospital is very rewarding. I think I'd rather work somewhere that pays less and enjoy it than work somewhere I hated so I could get a bigger salary."
"That's a good point," Angel agreed, "That's why I love Mac. I get paid well and I get to do something I enjoy. You have no idea how fabulous it is to know that I contributed to the makeover of a middle-aged straight woman."
Will laughed. "Sounds like fun. I'll have to stop by and see you in action some time."
"Definitely. Now that I'm getting my own place, I think I'll talk to Mel and see if I can work more hours to pay rent and stuff."
"That's a good idea."
"Shit, I really should call Queenie," Angel mumbled as he picked up the phone and dialed her number. "Hello Fred? Hey, it's Angel.not much, I actually stayed at Will's last night.yeah I ran into him at the club.I got in a fight with Mimi, that's why I was there.I don't wanna talk about it right now, I'll explain later. Is Queenie home?.well, I wanted to go apartment hunting and she always said that when I bought my first place she wanted to come with me.Okay, tell her to meet me out front and we'll go.Thanks Fred.love you too, bye."
"That was fast," Will commented as he went into the bathroom to get changed.
"Yeah, Queenie's still getting ready. I thought I took a long time to get ready in the morning. She's impossible!"
"I have a hard time believing that anyone is worse than you," Will said as he came out, dressed in a white polo shirt and pressed khaki pants.
"Oh believe me. It's possible," Angel assured him. "Look, I'm gonna get going. Fred said she'd be ready in ten minutes."
"You know with her that probably means 20 or 30 minutes."
"True, but I'd rather early than fashionably late. Queenie always says that late is never fashionable."
"Yeah, I'm gonna head out too. I'll walk you there," Will offered as he and Angel left the apartment.
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
A couple of blocks later, the men were outside the front of the club. "Will?"
"Yeah."
"I just want to thank you," Angel said, cracking hi knuckles.
"For what?" he asked, confused.
"For everything."
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
A/N: So I didn't have the heart to cut Will completely out of the picture, plus I have some very interesting scenes planned between him and Collins for later hehe =) As always, read and review, and thanks again to everyone who is STILL keeping up with this story. Collins is coming up soon, hang in there!!!!
The slamming of the door rang in his ears as he walked, angrily, out of the building. "How dare she say that about me!" Angel thought to himself, "It isn't even true. I do care about other people besides myself. And I'm not a pathetic faggot."
He grumbled to himself the entire walk to Metropolis. In the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten bus money so he was forced to walk-at least it was nice weather outside. Stuffing his hands into the glittering jeans he was wearing, he kept his head down, focusing on the concrete beneath his feet. His face burned from getting so angry-it had been years since he'd gotten in such a heated argument with another person. Usually, he was passive and never yelled back. With Mimi, it had taken all of his strength to not hit her.
His tight, red T-shirt rode up a little bit, exposing a small band of tan skin. He yanked down the shirt, continuing to walk down the blocks to the club. Six blocks and a bottle of water later, the neon electric letter glowing "Metropolis" beckoned him. If all else failed, he thought to himself, he could always get a decent blowjob in the back room. Considering how early it was for the club crowd, the line was still reasonably long. It wrapped around the corner of the building and partially down the block. Impatient and unwilling to wait in line, Angel looked down the queue to see if he knew anybody. Luckily, he recognized the doorman who he had hooked up with last week. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody, only to get a quick fuck to make himself feel better, but he put on a happy face as he approached him. Winking at him, he walked to the front of the string of people and placed his hand discretely on the doorman's thigh. The man smiled at him, showing an array of perfectly polished teeth. "I remember you," he said quietly to Angel in a deep, gravely voice, "You were good."
Angel put on a big fake smile and slipped him a ten-dollar bill.
"Go ahead." He opened the door as Angel walked through.
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
The familiar scent of the glistening, sweaty bodies swept Angel up as he entered the club. Lights blinking and men grinding greeted him. Breathing a sigh of relief, Angel smiled slightly-no matter how angry he was at Mimi, being at Metropolis always made him feel better. Now, it was time for tonight's mission: A hot guy for Angel to have sex with. He ran a hand through his short, black hair and scanned the room for tonight's fuck. He figured that having hot sex would be the best way to brighten his bitter mood. Sauntering onto the dance floor, he spotted the one he wanted. He was a generic-looking guy-definitely hot, but not exotic or special by any means-with washboard abs, spiked blonde hair, and deep green eyes. Catching his attention, Angel walked over to him quickly, grabbed the twinkie by his arm, and pulled him down. He kissed him hard and aggressively. Letting him go, the guy stood up and smiled at Angel. He smiled back, yanking the man back down to his level to kiss him again. The men began to kiss, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues.
What happened to wanting to be in love, Angel?
The words echoed loudly in his head. Shaking them off, he broke away from the kiss and grabbed the guy's hand. "Come on," he mumbled into his ear as the guy followed him off the dance floor.
Mimi's speech still swirled around in his brain while they joined the ranks of horny boys in the dark back room. With every touch and kiss from his man of the minute, Paul's words from a few months ago, and Mimi's from only hours before kept pounding into his head. Minute Man began to lift up Angel's shirt, showering his chest with kisses as he moved down to the waistband of his pants.
When you first moved in with me, you kept talking about how you wanted this fairy-tale romance and how you wanted to find your prince charming. All you've done is fuck around, insisting that this is what you want: meaningless sex, and nothing more. I don't believe it for a second.
Angel leaned his head back, taking a deep breath in and moaning in pleasure as the man unzipped his pants. Pulling them down to his ankles, he got down on his knees and began to pull Angel's briefs off. Angel smiled-the man knew what he was doing.
What happened to the Angel that I first met who believed in fairy- tale love and prince charming, huh? Where did that wonderful dream of being with one amazing man for the rest of your life go?
"Shut up," Angel mumbled harshly as the man pulled away from him for a minute.
"Shut up who?" the guy asked, confused.
"No one," he answered, pushing the guy's head back down, "keep going." The man went back to work and Angel shut his eyes once more, but the voice would not go away.
It's a good thing you gave up on love because with the way you think, you're never going to find it. You're just a self-obsessed, pathetic little faggot who will never be happy because the only the person you care about is you.
No matter how good the blowjob felt, Angel couldn't enjoy the pleasure. He'd had it. "I'm sorry," he said to the guy, yanking him up off his knees and pulling up his own pants, "I can't."
Green eyes narrowed into angry slits. "What do you mean 'I can't,'?" he asked, mocking Angel's high, feminine voice.
"I'm sorry, I just can't. I.I have to go."
"Hey!" the guy shouted at him as he began to leave, "You were the one that kissed me! You little fucking slut!"
The words stung slightly, but not as much as the speech from Mimi still ringing in his head. "I'm sorry," he apologized again.
"You're a fucking tease. Fuck you, whore."
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
"I can't even let some guy suck me off!" Angel exclaimed to himself, grumbling as he put his shirt back on before he exited the back room. Once the shirt was over his head, he attempted to walk through the doorway, only to be greeted head-on by the wall. SMACK!
"FUCK!" he yelled out loud, rubbing the spot where his forehead had made contact with the plaster.
"Gladly," a young guy said to him as he walked by.
Angel rolled his eyes and kept walking, this time careful to avoid the wall. What he didn't avoid, however, was the brick wall of a man standing in front of him. Similar to the wall only minutes ago, Angel collided full-force with the man, increasing his anger and frustration to a new level.
"GOD FUCKING DAMN-Will?" Angel asked, shocked.
"Angel?" he questioned, his soft deep voice bringing back a flood of memories.
"Oh my god!" he squealed, leaping into Will's arms and wrapping his legs around him.
"Nice to see you too," he laughed, putting Angel down as they both sat at the bar.
"Can we leave?" Angel asked eagerly.
"Sure," Will replied as they walked out the front door together.
--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*- -*--*--*--*--*--*
"So how have you been?" Angel asked him as they walked aimlessly down the block.
"Okay. I got out from rehab a couple months ago and I've been living on my own in a little apartment a few blocks from here. I'm surprised I haven't run into you before."
"Yeah, I'm surprised too. Are you still, you know, clean?"
He smiled warmly, looking directly at Angel. "I have been for over a year. The only thing I'll ever do is drink, on occasion. I've really been trying to stay clean. It's not easy, but it gets better every day."
"I'm so proud of you," Angel said, hugging him in the middle of the sidewalk.
"So what are you up to? I figured you'd be at Life Support or something."
"How do you know about Life Support?" Angel questioned, confused.
"Oh, I've been talking to Queenie and Fred. They came to visit me a few times in rehab, didn't they tell you?"
"No," he responded, puzzled but happy. It warmed his heart to know that Queenie and Fred had put aside any hard feelings towards Will and had helped him get through the rehab process. "But I'm glad they came to see you. I'm happy that you all decided to finally become friends."
"Me too," he said vaguely, with a distant smile on his face.
"Well, I was planning on going to Life Support. I work at Mac on 12th street and 4th avenue and I usually go straight from work, but tonight I went out to dinner with Queenie, Fred, and Mimi. Did they tell you about Mimi?" he asked. Just saying her name made his fists clench with anger.
"They mentioned that you were living with a girl. I thought you had turned hetero on me for a minute, but Queenie assured me she was just a friend."
"Honestly, Will. Could I ever pass for a heterosexual?" Angel asked, standing with his hands on his hips and his head cocked to the side.
Will raised an eyebrow at him. "Good point," he agreed.
"Anyway, Mimi's a friend that I met after you. well, you know. anyway, she'd never met Fred or Queenie so I took her to meet them earlier tonight. Then I met her boyfriend and we got in a really big fight."
"You and her boyfriend? Now that I would like to see."
Angel laughed. "No, me and Mimi. She was really mean to me and I just left. I got up and walked out and I went to Metropolis."
"What did you guys fight about?" Will asked, looking genuinely concerned.
"Since I got diagnosed, I've been going out a lot. Like, I've been meeting a lot of guys and I've been 'having a good time' if you know what I mean." Will nodded, a bit surprised at Angel's behavior. He figured that after Angel got diagnosed he would have become very reclusive, if anything. The promiscuity was a shock. "Anyway, everyone seems to have a problem with it. I got in a fight with Paul, the guy who leads the Life Support meetings, a few months ago over it and Mimi and I just fought about it today."
"So she doesn't approve, then."
"No. And I don't understand what the problem is. It's my body, it's my life. I don't know why, if I want to go out and have sex and not take my AZT, Mimi has to get on my case about it. She's a junkie-did I tell you that?"
Will's eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of her being a junkie. "What did you say when you found out she was?"
"I just noticed the marks today. I told her how I don't approve of it and how she's fucking up her life by dating guys she doesn't care about and taking a drug that'll kill her if she's not careful."
Will stood in silence for a minute, then spoke. "But it's her body and it's her life."
Staring at him, Angel blinked a couple of times, shaking his head. "Why do you always have to be right?"
"Well, it's true," Will reasoned, "If you're going to get mad at her for telling you that you can't have sex and you need to take your AZT, she has every right to get mad at you for telling her she can't date this guy and she can't take heroin. To be honest, I don't really approve of anything either of you are doing. You're going to die faster if you don't take the AZT and that's the truth."
"Listen, I just-."
"And I know you. I know that you value your life, no matter how much you want it to seem like you're this hopeless case. You're not. And I don't think that having promiscuous hot sex is going to solve your problem. On the other hand, you know how I feel about drugs. Obviously, this Mimi doesn't know the real side effects of heroin. If she did, she'd stop. If I had known what a mess I would have gotten myself into when I started, I never would have touched the needle. And if this guy's treating her like shit, then she should listen to you and not date him. But it's hard to listen to someone when they're hypocritical, which you are being right now."
Angel stood quietly, processing what Will had said. With all the anger and emotion behind Mimi's and Paul's words, Angel didn't truly get the message-with Will, he did. Will had absolutely no angry feeling towards him whatsoever. He was an outside observer who made perfect sense. Cracking his knuckles, Angel stared at him. "I want to be in love," he said in a small, meek voice.
"I know you do. You're not like most other gay guys. Not to put us all in one, giant stereotype, but the fact is that a lot of gay guys don't want a loving, monogamous relationship. You do, and it's hard for you to find that in this kind of a community. But, as I said, sleeping around isn't going to help that. It's only going to make you feel even more lonely."
"You're right. You're completely right."
Will smiled at him. "I don't want to hurt you, I just want you to know the truth." He stopped in front of a small brick building with crumbling concrete stairs. "This is my place. You wanna come up?"
"I'd love to."
The two walked up the stairs (there was no elevator) to the fifth floor, where Will put his key into the rusty keyhole. As they entered, Angel wandered around looking at the rundown, cozy apartment. It was a small studio-obviously only meant for one person to live there. A small kitchenette sat in the corner with a once-white refrigerator and a stove caked in burnt residue. The overhead light illuminated the space, shining its rays into the tiny, dark bathroom. "Have a seat," Will said, motioning for him to sit on the bed.
Obeying, Angel sat down and still continued to let his eyes wander. "It's a nice space," he remarked.
"Yeah, it's cheap, too. And it's away from Chad and his buddies-that was my main concern. I never want to see any of them again."
The mention of Chad's name once again brought back a flood of memories for Angel. As if the rape had happened all over again, Angel could feel the cold stiffness of Chad's arms around him and the pain of Chad forcing himself inside of him. He tensed, hugging his knees to his chest and shutting his eyes, as if by closing them he would shut out the memory. No such luck.
"Hey," Will said, sitting down next to him, "you okay?"
Will put his arm around him and Angel tensed up even more.
"I'm sorry I mentioned him." He moved his arm away.
Sniffling, Angel looked to his right, staring into Will's sympathetic eyes. "I'm really tired. Can we just. you know. sleep together?"
Smiling, Will answered, "Of course." He got up off the bed and fished through his drawers, tossing Angel a pair of thin blue sweatpants. "These are probably more comfortable than those jeans."
Thanking him, Angel went into the bathroom and changed quickly. When he came out, Will was lying in the bed next to the wall, motioning for Angel to come in next to him. Curled up right next to him, Angel lay and held Will's hand, which was wrapped around his shoulders.
"Thanks," Angel whispered as they both drifted off to sleep.
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
"I really need to call Queenie," Angel grumbled as he sat up in bed. Will was already awake and making coffee. "She'll be glad to know I ran into you-literally."
"Yeah, she'll be worried if she doesn't know where you are. You know the way she is."
"Just looking out for your well being," the two said in unison, laughing at the way the both knew all-to-well what Queenie said.
"I think I should start looking for a new place," Angel remarked as he took a sip of the coffee Will had poured for him. "Damn, that's hot," he said, taking milk out of the refrigerator and dumping it into the coffee.
"You can't make up with Mimi?"
"After what she called me? I don't think so. And even if we did make up, I can't live with somebody like that. I can't live with an addict." Immediately after he said the last sentence, he felt bad about it. "Sorry, I didn't mean--."
"It's okay, I know what you meant. I'm not offended. You don't need to walk on eggshells around me, I can take it."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I have one person really mad at me and I didn't want to add to the list."
Will smiled, "It's okay." He poured himself another cup of coffee. "So, look in here. There's some good apartments and stuff. Maybe you can find something around Queenie and Fred. It's a neat neighborhood."
"Yeah, I could never leave the East Village. It's been my home since I was 17." Opening up the circulars, he scanned the page for something interesting.
"Ooh! This sounds nice," he remarked, reading to Will what it said, "Small living room/dining room, full kitchen 1 bath, 1 bedroom."
"That does sound nice. Maybe you've struck gold on the first one."
"Wow, this sounds really nice. It's on 11th street and Avenue A. That's really close to where I am now. I think Paul's apartment is just down the block!" Angel was getting very excited over the possibility of living near his friends and having his own place.
"Call Queenie and let her know. Maybe she'll go apartment hunting with you, or something."
Angel pouted slightly and put down the paper. "You won't go with me?"
"I wish I could, but I have work to do. Since I've been back from rehab, I got a job at the hospital, of all places. Would you believe it? Anyway, I've been giving the meds and stuff to the patients. I work mostly in the children's wing and I've met some real sweet kids there. I'm only supposed to work from 9-5, but I like to stay later and spend some extra time with the kids. The hospital staff is really great about it."
"That sounds like a good job. Do you get paid okay there?"
"I wish I could find a job that paid more, just because it's so hard to make rent with such a small salary, but the hospital is very rewarding. I think I'd rather work somewhere that pays less and enjoy it than work somewhere I hated so I could get a bigger salary."
"That's a good point," Angel agreed, "That's why I love Mac. I get paid well and I get to do something I enjoy. You have no idea how fabulous it is to know that I contributed to the makeover of a middle-aged straight woman."
Will laughed. "Sounds like fun. I'll have to stop by and see you in action some time."
"Definitely. Now that I'm getting my own place, I think I'll talk to Mel and see if I can work more hours to pay rent and stuff."
"That's a good idea."
"Shit, I really should call Queenie," Angel mumbled as he picked up the phone and dialed her number. "Hello Fred? Hey, it's Angel.not much, I actually stayed at Will's last night.yeah I ran into him at the club.I got in a fight with Mimi, that's why I was there.I don't wanna talk about it right now, I'll explain later. Is Queenie home?.well, I wanted to go apartment hunting and she always said that when I bought my first place she wanted to come with me.Okay, tell her to meet me out front and we'll go.Thanks Fred.love you too, bye."
"That was fast," Will commented as he went into the bathroom to get changed.
"Yeah, Queenie's still getting ready. I thought I took a long time to get ready in the morning. She's impossible!"
"I have a hard time believing that anyone is worse than you," Will said as he came out, dressed in a white polo shirt and pressed khaki pants.
"Oh believe me. It's possible," Angel assured him. "Look, I'm gonna get going. Fred said she'd be ready in ten minutes."
"You know with her that probably means 20 or 30 minutes."
"True, but I'd rather early than fashionably late. Queenie always says that late is never fashionable."
"Yeah, I'm gonna head out too. I'll walk you there," Will offered as he and Angel left the apartment.
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
A couple of blocks later, the men were outside the front of the club. "Will?"
"Yeah."
"I just want to thank you," Angel said, cracking hi knuckles.
"For what?" he asked, confused.
"For everything."
*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*-- *--*--*--*--*--*--
A/N: So I didn't have the heart to cut Will completely out of the picture, plus I have some very interesting scenes planned between him and Collins for later hehe =) As always, read and review, and thanks again to everyone who is STILL keeping up with this story. Collins is coming up soon, hang in there!!!!