Disklamir: I disklaim to own anything. Not mine never was mine. Stealing
for my own purposes.
Chapter 5: Work of the Damned.
The next morning Cologne walked into Shampoo's room and she almost giggled at the sight of Shampoo cuddling Ranma cheetah like a giant stuffed teddy bear while decked out in full Amazon battle armor and clutching a silvered Tai chi sword. She put her hands into her robes and pulled out a camera. She made sure she had the flash turned on. She then started snapping pictures as quickly as she could. With the amagouriken she was only limited by the speed of the camera.
"Rowr!" Ranma hated rude awakenings, especially since he couldn't detect the old woman's presence until that damn flash started going off.
Normally cheetah's are not good climbers but when motivated this particular were cheetah went straight up the wall and began creeping along the ceiling.
The sound of an old crone laughing her ass off was how Shampoo greeted the morning. Needless to say her mouth tasted like wet cat fur. Oh wait that was cat fur. She crawled to a sitting position spitting out bits of hair from her mouth.
"Aiyah, where Ranma?" Shampoo was confused. She remembered Ranma crawling into her bed last night. She looked around and couldn't find Ranma anywhere.
By the time Shampoo finally woke up Ranma had had enough of the ceiling clinging. He unceremoniously dropped right in front of her. Her natural reaction to a sudden shock was to scream and lash out. Unfortunately the hand that she lashed out with was the one with the sword.
Ranma being a highly trained were cheetah had an insane dexterity; however he was not able to totally evade the swing and as such got a shallow cut along his shoulder blade. It bled a little bit but not enough to be of any consequence. In fact it was healed in about ten seconds with not even a scar to show that he had been injured. He calmly licked the blood out of his pelt, looked up grinned/bared his fangs, then walked out of the room.
"Don't worry granddaughter he's not mad he's just..." It was then that she heard the crashing from downstairs and Mousse screaming something about a demon. "Oh dear it seems that I forgot to tell Mousse about our house guest." More crashing could be heard from downstairs "I do hope that he doesn't hurt Mousse too much, blood stains are extremely hard to get out of hardwood."
"Shampoo hope Ranma eat Mousse."
"Yes that would solve quite a few problems wouldn't it?" She heaved a sigh. "Well I'd better get down there before he does actually kill him. Help that works for nothing is extremely hard to find these days." She started shuffling downstairs to try and minimize the damage to her restaurant. Shampoo was of course hot on her heels.
When they got downstairs they had to dodge as Mousse flew past them to impact against the wall. Ranma had his back to them like he'd just executed a mule kick, which was the most likely propulsion method by which Mousse gained his flight ability. There was surprisingly little damage to the restaurant. Only a table and two chairs were destroyed. However there were piles of weapons on the floor and quite a few throwing knives stuck in the wall.
"Well Mr. Part Time you seem to have met our guest."
"No mommy I don't want to eat my broccoli, it's icky." Mousse didn't mind the concussion as much since now there were four Shampoos.
"Alright we've got to get this cleaned up before we open. Alright hop to it." She just wished she could have watched Ranma while he fought, it would have been interesting at the least.
Over the next hour they managed to clean up all of the weapons and broken furniture. Only one of the chairs could be salvaged but they didn't have enough time to effect proper repairs on it so they put it in the back storeroom. Ranma was useful only for dragging things since he didn't have hands.
"Alright now Ranma you're on deliveries today I've figured out how you can do this. Ok now hold still."
She then used the amagouriken to attach a banner around his midsection with the Cat Cafe on it and their address and a special for anybody who comes in and mentions the cheetah. Around his neck she tied a bag with a note for people to put the money in the bag and that the cheetah would not bite unless they tried to steal anything.
"There we go; a living billboard. Ok Shampoo today we're going to have a special for anybody who mentions the cheetah. 25% off ok."
"Ok 25% if mention large cat ok." At least she wouldn't have to go around on her bike. It was fun but the pollution and crazy drivers and pedestrians that always got in her way.
"Rawr rrrr."
"Too bad. You work for me you play by my rules kitty cat. Now here's the map of our delivery radius, I expect you to run as fast as you can..."
"Rrrr."
"Don't give me that I once watched one of your kind chase down a spring deer from over 200 yards away. Now don't spill anything. Anything that you drop or spill will come out of your pay."
"Rwr? Rrrrr."
"Oh that's right I don't pay you do I. Well you can just work off whatever you spill."
Ranma just hung his head.
"Now you're getting the idea!"
The door opened and Kasumi stepped into the restaurant. She was wearing a short Chinese style silk dress almost exactly the same as Shampoo's. Unlike Shampoo's pink dress Kasumi's was a royal purple. Her hair was done up in a single ponytail with a red ribbon to hold it in place. What Ranma found most disturbing though was the sword strapped to her back.
She did a quick scan of the restaurant immediately sensing something was wrong. Her gaze lingered a bit on where the broken table and chairs had been then on to where Mousse was filling in dagger holes. Her gaze then fell to where Ranma was sitting with the banner waving slightly in the wind from the open door. She blinked while Ranma just sat there trying to look as cute and innocent as possible. She reached out with her hand to try and pet him. As her hand approached his head Ranma felt the strangest urge to bite her. He tried to fight it but as her hand approached the urge got stronger and stronger. Just as she was within biting range he lashed out and found his mouth full of wood.
Cologne remained in her original position. She had pushed Kasumi's hand out of the way and shoved her cane into his mouth.
"Now is not the time to see about petting the help Kasumi dear. How about you go and help Shampoo in the kitchen."
Kasumi was holding her hand as if it was bitten. "Of course elder." She said as she backed off rather hastily towards the kitchen area.
Cologne sighed. "You are not at fault." She said looking at Ranma. "Apparently ever since she was young she has always loved cats however whenever she tries to pet one it bites her. It has something to do with her aura I think." She paused. "Are you familiar with Jusenkyo?" He shrugged and waived his paw around a bit. "I tried using a one use only packet of spring of drowned cat on my granddaughter and she even bit her. It is most peculiar." Seeing Ranma was still not convinced she decided to try one more time. "You didn't bite her don't worry. If she ever tries to pet you again just run away."
"Rwr."
"Alright now you just sit there we've got lots of work to do before we are ready to open." She said as she pulled her staff out of his mouth and pogo'd back to the kitchen.
The next couple of hours were spent with Cologne, Shampoo and Kasumi doing tons of prep work. Since they really didn't want his dirty paws in the food Ranma was delighted to watching Mousse fill in the holes in the wall from their impromptu sparring session, also known as ass kicking.
When the restaurant finally opened it was immediately swamped. Ranma was overwhelmed and downright scared when the food started flying out of the kitchen... literally. He was forced to catch a couple of plates himself when they came soaring his way. One on his head and the other balanced on his tail. When he got to the table the people were surprisingly unaffected by his presence. These people in Nerima seemed extremely resistant to strange and weird things.
"Ranma there's a delivery to the school. Hurry up now."
Since he'd been to the school already he knew he could find his way there. He ran up to the counter and grabbed the takeout box that Cologne had left for him and ran out the door. Cologne had given him a time limit on deliveries. Unfortunately the limit she set was about 5 minutes less than what he needed to actually do the job.
As soon as he got out the door he engaged the overdrive and tore off down the street in excess of 60 KM/h. Usually he would breathe through his mouth when he was running this fast but with the takeout box in his mouth he was forced to breath through his nostrils. It was tiring him out a lot quicker than his normal runs.
When he reached the gates to the school he knew that he had to jump the wall. At the speed he was going it didn't take much to make the jump. The takeout box not even josceling once. When he had landed he noticed a group of girls gathered under a tree. He didn't recognize the name of the person who placed the order so he wandered over to see if he could get directions. When he got there he noticed, much to his horror, that Nabiki was sitting with them.
"What the hell?!" One of the girls shouted.
"Hey that looks like one of the Cat Cafe's take out boxes." Commented one of the girls. "Hey Noriko that looks like your lunch." Another shouted.
Nabiki of course was laughing her ass off at a joke only she understood.
"Wow what a cute cheetah, I wonder where they got one so smart?"
"Smart hell I wonder how they trained it to do deliveries."
"With that old woman who knows. Did you know I once saw her pluck chestnuts right out of a roaring fire!"
"Hey yeah I saw that once too." Said Noriko. "Well how do I pay you little guy?" She said with a questioning look.
Ranma lifted his head to show her the bag that he carried around his neck.
"Ok here you go." She was a little hesitant but eventually got up the nerve to put the few coins into the pouch. She gave him a quick pet on his head. Ranma then bowed as best he could, grabbed the take out box and took off at top speed back towards the Cat cafe knowing he was going to be late.
"Oh come on Nabiki it's not that funny."
In response to this Nabiki just laughed harder.
On his way back he tried to put a bit more power into his run. The problem was that cheetahs were good on straightaways but they couldn't maintain that high speed for very long before they got tired and had to rest.
Ranma was not a normal cheetah though. He had been taught by his grandmother how to access his ki to boost his physical stats like speed, strength, toughness, healing etc beyond what his normal weir transformation gave him. The problem was that he was burning tons of ki right now and if this kept up he was going to be spent before the lunch rush was over.
As he was walking into the door Cologne's voice rang out.
"Took you long enough, there's another delivery for the preschool down the street." Suddenly a dart appeared from nowhere and stuck into the exact location on the delivery map for the preschool.
Ranma saw the delivery box with the name on it. He grabbed it and ran off towards the preschool. About twenty minutes later he returned to the restaurant.
"Aiyah! Too too cute. Shampoo have sugar shock."
Kasumi was just staring trying her hardest to resist going over there and hugging the cute kitty.
It was easy to see what was wrong. As soon as he'd gotten to the preschool he'd been able to find the teacher who placed the order. She had been terrified of him at first but since he was wearing a banner that marked him as belonging to the Cat Cafe she calmed down enough to take her food and pay him. She scooted back after that. Ranma bowed and began to leave.
It was then that his nightmare started. The children had originally been afraid of him, but given the time the teacher took to pay they had gotten over their fear. The collective call (well the little girls at least) rose up from the playground.
"Kitty!"
He tried to get away, he really and truly did, but he couldn't do it without hurting any of them. He finally gave up. The next few minutes were pure torture. His fur was short but they somehow managed to pull up enough to tie off pink ribbons... lots of pink ribbons... sickening amounts of pink ribbons. After they exhausted their seemingly limitless supply of ribbons they went on to try and ride the cute kitty. The teachers who were still reeling from seeing a cheetah snapped into action when the children tried to get on and go for a ride.
Ranma was grateful when the teachers pulled the little monsters off of him. He bowed to the teachers (which incidentally looked like he was going to pounce) then took off like the bats of hell were nipping on his ass.
He managed to break some speed records on his way back.
Unfortunately he burned up most of his ki doing it. (That and got at least 6 cars in trouble for speeding when he passed by the photo radar.) When he arrived at the door to the Cat Cafe he was extremely tired. He wavered for a few seconds after Shampoo spoke, then he fell over smacking his head against the floor. He didn't move after that until Cologne tossed a bucket of water on him.
"Get up you slacker I'm not paying you to just lay around." She flashed her hands out and removed all of the ribbons from his fur. She then put down a bucket of water in front of him along with some meat. "When you're ready there is another delivery." She then hoped back to the kitchen to continue cooking. Lunch was almost over anyway.
Shampoo was watching Ranma closely. Elder Cologne never pushed her as hard as she was pushing Ranma right now. She would have to ask her about it later. She just hoped that Ranma would be able to survive the day.
Mousse on the other hand was furious. Sure it was explained to him that Ranma was a were cheetah and that he wasn't supposed to fight him anymore but damn it! He slept with Shampoo! This wasn't what Mousse was looking for. He had enough competition with Hibiki (He couldn't beat him but he was trying.). Shampoo was his and only his.
Ranma had pretty much had it for today but it wasn't quite over yet. When he'd finished his food and water he grabbed the takeout box and took off towards the destination. He didn't go at top speed because he didn't have much energy left. If he was going to make it through the day he was going to have to pace himself.
Two deliveries later the lunch rush was finally over and he was allowed to rest. While Shampoo, Kasumi and Mousse cleaned up he basked in the sun trying to get his energy back. While he was basking Cologne came out to him.
"You didn't do too badly for your first shift." He growled a bit at her. "I hope you realize that this is training. I do the same thing to Shampoo it helps improve her strength, speed, and endurance. I'm taking it much harder on you since you seem to be a lot slower than a lot of the other were cheetah's that I've known." He grumbled a bit at this. "Yes I am aware that you're fast but you can't hold that speed for very long and you get tired a lot faster than you should. I'm going to try and help with that. Hell I may even teach you a move or two if you're lucky." He started banging his head against the ground. If the rest of her training was as hard as this then he'd rather just jab a silvered dagger right through his own heart. Wouldn't kill him but it would be a more pleasant experience.
She then got up and went back into the restaurant to take care of a couple of customers that just came in for a little snack. Ranma was left alone until school let out and the students started coming by. Most were just coming to look at the trained cheetah that they had seen or heard about at school. Once they'd come to the restaurant though the majority wanted to watch him perform. To do this however they had to order something.
Ranma was forced to jump around twisting and turning to catch flying bowls, glasses, and assorted plates. To his credit he only dropped one plate and two glasses. It was near the end of one routine when Nabiki walked into the restaurant. He was so shocked that he dropped the plate he was balancing and missed the two incoming glasses.
"Well look at what we have here. So is the kitty cat working hard?" She asked in a voice that was sweet at saccerine.
He just growled in response.
"You're paying for that!" Came from the kitchen.
"Oops sorry about that. Didn't mean to distract you." She said.
Two more plates came flying out of the kitchen towards Nabiki. She spun in the air catching both plates and put them down in front of the proper people without spilling a drop. The same thing happened a short time later when their drinks arrived.
"I'm not as good as my sisters but I can do the martial arts thing in a pinch." She said as she winked to the boys that she had just served. She then held out her hand towards them. "Of course since I don't work here the floor show deserves a tip don't you think?"
The two boys blanched and slapped some bills in her hands as quickly as they could get them out of their wallets. Ranma of course started banging his head against the floor again. If he wasn't a were cheetah he was sure that he'd get brain damage from this. He wasn't getting any tips or money of any kind from his work. All the money went to Cologne.
He really needed a new agent.
"Well then dearie you seem to know a thing or two about martial arts. You wouldn't be interested in a job would you? It can get so busy here and Shampoo and Mr. Part time can't keep up even with your sister helping." Kasumi came out of the kitchen to find out what was going on. "Ahh I'll pass on that. I've still got too much school work. Maybe Ranma would be interested in some part time after school and weekends."
Ranma was busy shaking his head.
"Well he is pretty lazy and all, so unreliable too. Hmm I guess I could hire him. Say 1000 yen per hour."
"He gets to keep all of his tips and it's a deal."
Ranma was really resisting the urge to ventilate Nabiki's dress.... and Nabiki too.
"It's a deal then." She turned to Ranma. "You start at 4 on thursday, friday, and saturday."
"What about Sunday's?" Asked Nabiki.
"Oh Sunday's are your day to work. Open to close. I expect to see you here or I'll send Shampoo to get you."
"But I don't want to work here!" She'd rather ram a silvered knife into her heart. It'd hurt less and she'd be assured that she wouldn't have to come back to work ever again.
"Those that are quick to volunteer others should be willing to work themselves. I'll see you on Sunday."
"Oh my Nabiki you're working here too? Oh this is just so great if we could get Akane here we could make it a sisters thing. Wouldn't that be so great?" Kasumi was happy, she got to work with a cute as all hell cheetah and her sister too.
"Yeah great." Nabiki mumbled.
"Yo furball enough slacking time to get back to work. Order for table three." Cologne yelled from the kitchen as ten bowls came flying out of the kitchen. Ranma caught three, Kasumi caught four, and Nabiki caught two. The last bowl landed in front of the person who ordered it.
The food was quickly distributed to the waiting patrons. They clapped at the show of agility. Kasumi gave a little bow before flipping to the center of the room, pulling out the sword and going through a relatively complex kata. The patrons just watched the show as Shampoo joined her with her own sword dance.
After the show was over some of the patrons put a little extra on the table for the tip. Dinner and a show, nobody did it better than the Cat Cafe.
The day progressed and Ranma was run off his feet delivering order after order. Nabiki had to leave shortly after she was rounded into working for the old crone. Kasumi eventually left as well to go to her other job as a dancer.
As the last customer left Ranma collapsed on the floor. About halfway through the supper rush they stopped doing deliveries and Shampoo had to go into the kitchen to help her great grandmother with the cooking. Mousse was in charge of taking orders and bussing tables, which left Ranma to deliver the orders to the table (see catch flying plates, bowls, glasses, etc). This continued until they closed at 8 pm.
Cologne came out of the kitchen. She saw Ranma collapsed on the floor. "I guess you've done enough for tonight go get cleaned up and get some sleep."
The blob that used to be Ranma oozed along the floor like a common garden slug, and up the stairs towards the furo completely forgetting that he didn't have hands to operate the knobs for the water. Cologne sighed and looked towards Shampoo.
"Go give him a hand and take a bath yourself." She said.
"Oh Shampoo I'll gladly wash your back!" Mousse shouted as he jumped up from where he was cleaning a table.
He was immediately smacked down by the heavy stick of reality, otherwise known as Cologne's stick.
"Oh no you don't Mr. Part time you get back to cleaning those tables. Ranma was doing your job today as well as part of Shampoo's so you get back to work."
Mousse went back to cleaning the table. He was just finishing up refilling the various condiments on the table when he muttered.
"Slave driver."
"And don't you forget it!" Came from the kitchen area.
Meanwhile upstairs Ranma had oozed his way to the furo door. The door was closed and the occupied sign was not out. Unfortunately for Ranma's gelatinous muscles the arduous task of jamming his paw in-between the door and the door jamb and prying it open was not possible so he just lay there staring at the door. He just sat there for five minutes before the door miraculously opened.
"You need bath, you is smelling bad."
"Grgl"
"Then again you is male cat so it natural you smell bad."
Ranma quickly considered biting her. He looked over at her ankle and tried to muster the strength to move his head. He got about halfway when he gave up and slumped back down. Effort is wasted on the lazy.
"Alright come on we get you clean the go to sleep ok?" Shampoo said as she put out the occupied sign and grabbed him by the loose skin on the back of his neck and dragged him into the changing area. She dropped her clothes into the clothes hamper and then dragged him into the furo.
She dropped him on the ground and went to fill up a bucket making sure that the water was freezing cold. She then stalked up to the oblivious cheetah laying on the floor.
"You is waking up now!" She said cheerfully as she tossed the ice water on Ranma's prone form.
Other than a slight twitch there was no reaction.
"You is really tired." Shampoo commented. She was amazed that he really didn't react.
"Oh well now we get you all clean." She said as she grabbed the soap and started lathering up his fur.
She started out with his head and worked her way down his back all the way to his tail. She then lathered down his sides. She then noticed a small problem. She still needed to do his underside but didn't know if she should roll him over. In the end she gave up and flipped him onto his back. His legs which had been compressed by his body weight sprung out straight when his body weight was removed. Shampoo had to dodge his claws as his legs shot out at her suddenly.
A little frightened by her near miss she grabbed some of the suds and started lathering his legs. She was amazed by the sheer muscle tone that was present on his legs. She wished she could feel him when he was human. She shook off that thought quickly, Ryoga was the only man for her.
She still remembered when he defeated her in front of the entire village during the annual competition. It was her last match and she was up against Lin Se last years winner. Lin Se had just swung her spiked mace and she had dropped to a crouch to avoid it. Lin Se had overcompensated a fraction of a centimeter to compensate for her miss but that was all she needed. With a mighty smash Lin Se was sent flying off the challenge log and flying into the crowd. Just as she was raising her bonbori in victory she saw a boy around her age eating her prize. Fury surrounded her as she saw this. Sure as a good will gesture the champion always offered to share the prize with the village but this outsider male just came in and started eating!
She jumped off the log and started yelling at him. She still remembered the way he looked with his hand behind his head with a piece of chicken sticking out of his mouth.
One of the people in the audience she thought it was Shin Ke told the male what he had done. His response well according to Shin Ke was that the male had challenged her for the prize. She had to think about it for a second before she accepted. If she won she'd take the boy as a slave for a couple of weeks until he'd worked off his damages. If she lost... Well at least he was better than Mousse.
They had gotten up onto the challenge log. She had pulled out her trusty bonbori, and she watched as the stranger pulled out an umbrella of all things. Deciding not to waste any time she charged. In hindsight her great-grandmother's lessons about never underestimating an opponent were never as true as they were on that day.
Even now she couldn't remember how she got off the challenge log just that her head was ringing and she saw a couple of stars. Ahh the fun of concussions and other head trauma.
She giggled as she remembered how he passed out when she actually gave him the kiss. She remembered dragging him to her room where he spent the entire night. He was unconscious so she didn't get to do any fun stuff with him. When she woke up the next morning he was gone without a trace. The sentries at the gate said that he didn't pass them so they guessed he must have jumped the wall.
She still remembered the shame of her husband running out on her, the pointing of fingers, the whispers behind her back, and the looks her peers gave her.
She tried tracking him down several times, but after going around in circles and convoluted trails for hours she eventually gave up and went to her friend Mi Tse. Mi Tse's mother was a bloodhound that had been thrown into the spring of drowned girl by the musk and then rescued by the Amazons. Mi Tse had tried tracking down her husband but the trail he left was too convoluted even for her sensitive nose. The best guess that she could give was that he had eventually headed east towards Japan but she couldn't be sure about that.
It was only after her great grandmother suggested they try to track him down in Japan did things start to get interesting. They ended up tracking him down by accident one day when he was wandering through the Nerima district. It was then that they learned about his directional sense and that he got lost easily.
By the time they found him he had already met Akane Tendo and a few other girls. He had started to fall for a few of them but his natural shyness prevented him from showing his affection for anybody.
Well that and the fact that he tended to pass out in a fountain of blood whenever anything female showed any flesh whatsoever.
She looked down at Ranma's form. He hadn't moved an inch since she had flipped him over. She reached over and grabbed the shower head. She turned it on full blast and adjusted the temperature so that it was hot but not scalding. She then turned to where Ranma was and proceeded to hose him down. The soap suds slid off his form like waves and were washed down the drain. His fur was matted down by the water. She kicked him over onto his stomach; his legs recompressing as they hit the tile floor. She then proceeded to hose off his back.
Once all of the soap was off him he looked like he'd been dunked in hair gel. His short fur was plastered to his skin. He looked like a drowned cat. Shampoo giggled a bit as he looked up at her with his pathetic eyes.
"Shampoo have to have bath now. Dry you off later ok?" She said as she sat down on the stool and began lathering herself up.
From his position on the floor Ranma had an unobstructed view of her well muscled back and butt. He cracked a smile as he forced his now slightly rejuvenated muscles to raise him off the floor. She gave him a bath already and it was only good manners to return the favor. Too bad his muscles wouldn't raise him to the level of her back. Oh well as grandmother kept telling him 'work with what you've got.'
Outside the walls and across the street the neighbors heard a loud...
"Aiyah!"
As Ranma proceeded to give Shampoo's back a good tongue lashing.
About three licks in Shampoo spun around and glared at the grinning cheetah.
"What you do that for?!" Shampoo shouted. "Pervert cat Shampoo should smash for that! Only husband allowed to touch Shampoo there!" She shouted. Ranma flinched back from the irate Amazon. "Go over by door and stay there!"
Ranma slowly trudged over to the door his head hanging low and his ears drooping. He plopped down on the tile floor spraying water all over the place. He had just laid his head in his paws when the door suddenly flew open and Mousse rushed in.
"Shampoo I'll save awk!"
Ranma slowly removed his head from Mousse's crotch where he had head butted him when he had stepped on his tail. Mousse slowly fell backwards into the changing room banging his head against the tiles. Ranma reached out with his paw and slid the door shut again. He then laid his head back onto his paws.
Shampoo continued to clean herself for a few minutes before she turned on the water and rinsed herself off. She then slid into the furo to soak for a bit. She let out a great sigh as she was fully submerged.
"You can eat Mousse if he really bother you." Shampoo idly said as she adjusted herself to get more comfortable.
Ranma started to hack and cough.
"What wrong you no like Mousse? Him taste bad?" She asked with a confused look on her face.
Ranma eventually hacked up a pink ribbon.
"Aiyahhh." She said with wide eyes. She started to reconsider sleeping with him tonight.
After a while Shampoo got out of the furo and did a bit of cleaning to make it ready for Mousse and her great grandmother. She grabbed Ranma by the back of his neck and dragged him into the changing room to get dried off. He left a trail of water in his wake and his fur polished the tile to a brilliant shine.
"Shampoo finally figure out good use for lazy cat. You is making good mop!"
Ranma just growled at this.
Mousse had long since vacated the area since he didn't want to get another beating from Ranma. He had left a couple of silvered shrunken on the floor from when he staggered away.
Shampoo grabbed a towel from the rack and started drying herself off. Ranma just watched as she swayed back and forth. He had to resist the urge to help her. She was a magnificent creature and he didn't blame Mousse one bit for trying to get her to be his mate. Too bad he was a lesser male not worthy of this ones attention. Looking up again he saw that she was standing right over him with a fresh towel. Her skin was glowing from a combination of the overhead incandescent and the miniscule bit of water that was still on her skin. She looked like some of the celestial creatures that his grandmother had shown him from her old books.
He briefly thought of bedding her.
That thought was quickly squashed as he went through all the 'not good' things that would happen if he were to pop this wildcat's cherry.
She was bending over to dry him off when he suddenly got a very evil idea. Using his newly rejuvenated muscles he stood up quickly and shook himself like a dog. It had been quite some time since she washed him but his fur was still holding quite a bit of water. Little droplets of water flew off in every direction. Shampoo brought up the towel to shield herself but it was already too late she was wet again.
Ranma just sat back on his haunches, opened his mouth and let his tongue hang out. For added effect he tried to make his eyes as vacuous as possible. He would try to bark but that would just look stupid. He briefly thought about humping her leg but he didn't think his chances of survival would be very good. Right now his chances of making it out of this room with certain appendages attached was looking quite grim.
Shampoo pulled her bonbori out of... somewhere.
"Shampoo thinking you has too too much energy. Shampoo thinking she break legs then maybe not move so fast."
While she was talking Ranma was tensing. He knew he had only one shot at this. When she finished talking she spread her legs taking a horse stance. Ranma saw his chance and bolted right through her legs and hopefully to freedom. He misjudged the distance between his back and her crotch. He ended dragging his coarse fur through her crotch. Of course the forgot that on the other side of Shampoo was the door. He used Shampoo's distraction and used his claws and ripped the door open as she was turning around. She took a quick swipe at his backside and barely clipped him.
Of course a nick from 25 kilo steel balls is enough momentum to throw off the balance of a 75 kilo cat that was already off balance. The end result was that he went careening headfirst into the far wall. The impact wasn't enough to knock him out but it was enough to stun him for a couple of seconds. To a highly trained Amazon a couple of seconds was all that she needed.
Ranma didn't even bother fighting back because he knew his damage reduction he could soak up some of her hits and his regeneration would have him healed by morning if not sooner. Another reason was that he felt that he deserved this. Of course that still left the fact that it still hurt like a sonofabitch.
Eventually she stopped. In actuality it was only a thirty second thrashing that didn't leave Ranma nearly as hurt as he expected. In fact if he didn't know better he would have guessed that she knew exactly where to inflict the most pain for the least damage. Thinking of Mousse and his masochistic tendencies a sadist like Shampoo would be a godsend for him. Too bad he was a stupid moron or they would be perfect for each other.
By the time she'd dragged his carcass upstairs he was mostly healed. She lay down on her futon and curled up beside him. He licked her face to say that he was sorry for spraying her with water. She responded by putting him in a headlock.
"You no eat Shampoo." She said while giving his head a little twist for emphasis.
Ranma nodded as much as he could. She let him go and he gasped for breath. He silently wondered if that Ukyo girl was interested in a trained cheetah waiter. She probably wouldn't be such a slaved river and she couldn't do half the damage Shampoo could with that big spatula of hers.
Authors notes.
I'm really really sorry this took so long to get out. We have been getting so many calls here lately that I have had zero time to write. I'm currently working on Fast tracks and another episode of Lunocracy. Lunocracy is one of my side projects so donn't expect to see too many updates for it as I just use it to clear writers block.
In reference to the Kasumi being bitten by cats all the time, yes that is ripped off Azumanga Daioh. If you haven't seen it yet download it, rent it, just watch it. It's hilariously funny.
Chapter 5: Work of the Damned.
The next morning Cologne walked into Shampoo's room and she almost giggled at the sight of Shampoo cuddling Ranma cheetah like a giant stuffed teddy bear while decked out in full Amazon battle armor and clutching a silvered Tai chi sword. She put her hands into her robes and pulled out a camera. She made sure she had the flash turned on. She then started snapping pictures as quickly as she could. With the amagouriken she was only limited by the speed of the camera.
"Rowr!" Ranma hated rude awakenings, especially since he couldn't detect the old woman's presence until that damn flash started going off.
Normally cheetah's are not good climbers but when motivated this particular were cheetah went straight up the wall and began creeping along the ceiling.
The sound of an old crone laughing her ass off was how Shampoo greeted the morning. Needless to say her mouth tasted like wet cat fur. Oh wait that was cat fur. She crawled to a sitting position spitting out bits of hair from her mouth.
"Aiyah, where Ranma?" Shampoo was confused. She remembered Ranma crawling into her bed last night. She looked around and couldn't find Ranma anywhere.
By the time Shampoo finally woke up Ranma had had enough of the ceiling clinging. He unceremoniously dropped right in front of her. Her natural reaction to a sudden shock was to scream and lash out. Unfortunately the hand that she lashed out with was the one with the sword.
Ranma being a highly trained were cheetah had an insane dexterity; however he was not able to totally evade the swing and as such got a shallow cut along his shoulder blade. It bled a little bit but not enough to be of any consequence. In fact it was healed in about ten seconds with not even a scar to show that he had been injured. He calmly licked the blood out of his pelt, looked up grinned/bared his fangs, then walked out of the room.
"Don't worry granddaughter he's not mad he's just..." It was then that she heard the crashing from downstairs and Mousse screaming something about a demon. "Oh dear it seems that I forgot to tell Mousse about our house guest." More crashing could be heard from downstairs "I do hope that he doesn't hurt Mousse too much, blood stains are extremely hard to get out of hardwood."
"Shampoo hope Ranma eat Mousse."
"Yes that would solve quite a few problems wouldn't it?" She heaved a sigh. "Well I'd better get down there before he does actually kill him. Help that works for nothing is extremely hard to find these days." She started shuffling downstairs to try and minimize the damage to her restaurant. Shampoo was of course hot on her heels.
When they got downstairs they had to dodge as Mousse flew past them to impact against the wall. Ranma had his back to them like he'd just executed a mule kick, which was the most likely propulsion method by which Mousse gained his flight ability. There was surprisingly little damage to the restaurant. Only a table and two chairs were destroyed. However there were piles of weapons on the floor and quite a few throwing knives stuck in the wall.
"Well Mr. Part Time you seem to have met our guest."
"No mommy I don't want to eat my broccoli, it's icky." Mousse didn't mind the concussion as much since now there were four Shampoos.
"Alright we've got to get this cleaned up before we open. Alright hop to it." She just wished she could have watched Ranma while he fought, it would have been interesting at the least.
Over the next hour they managed to clean up all of the weapons and broken furniture. Only one of the chairs could be salvaged but they didn't have enough time to effect proper repairs on it so they put it in the back storeroom. Ranma was useful only for dragging things since he didn't have hands.
"Alright now Ranma you're on deliveries today I've figured out how you can do this. Ok now hold still."
She then used the amagouriken to attach a banner around his midsection with the Cat Cafe on it and their address and a special for anybody who comes in and mentions the cheetah. Around his neck she tied a bag with a note for people to put the money in the bag and that the cheetah would not bite unless they tried to steal anything.
"There we go; a living billboard. Ok Shampoo today we're going to have a special for anybody who mentions the cheetah. 25% off ok."
"Ok 25% if mention large cat ok." At least she wouldn't have to go around on her bike. It was fun but the pollution and crazy drivers and pedestrians that always got in her way.
"Rawr rrrr."
"Too bad. You work for me you play by my rules kitty cat. Now here's the map of our delivery radius, I expect you to run as fast as you can..."
"Rrrr."
"Don't give me that I once watched one of your kind chase down a spring deer from over 200 yards away. Now don't spill anything. Anything that you drop or spill will come out of your pay."
"Rwr? Rrrrr."
"Oh that's right I don't pay you do I. Well you can just work off whatever you spill."
Ranma just hung his head.
"Now you're getting the idea!"
The door opened and Kasumi stepped into the restaurant. She was wearing a short Chinese style silk dress almost exactly the same as Shampoo's. Unlike Shampoo's pink dress Kasumi's was a royal purple. Her hair was done up in a single ponytail with a red ribbon to hold it in place. What Ranma found most disturbing though was the sword strapped to her back.
She did a quick scan of the restaurant immediately sensing something was wrong. Her gaze lingered a bit on where the broken table and chairs had been then on to where Mousse was filling in dagger holes. Her gaze then fell to where Ranma was sitting with the banner waving slightly in the wind from the open door. She blinked while Ranma just sat there trying to look as cute and innocent as possible. She reached out with her hand to try and pet him. As her hand approached his head Ranma felt the strangest urge to bite her. He tried to fight it but as her hand approached the urge got stronger and stronger. Just as she was within biting range he lashed out and found his mouth full of wood.
Cologne remained in her original position. She had pushed Kasumi's hand out of the way and shoved her cane into his mouth.
"Now is not the time to see about petting the help Kasumi dear. How about you go and help Shampoo in the kitchen."
Kasumi was holding her hand as if it was bitten. "Of course elder." She said as she backed off rather hastily towards the kitchen area.
Cologne sighed. "You are not at fault." She said looking at Ranma. "Apparently ever since she was young she has always loved cats however whenever she tries to pet one it bites her. It has something to do with her aura I think." She paused. "Are you familiar with Jusenkyo?" He shrugged and waived his paw around a bit. "I tried using a one use only packet of spring of drowned cat on my granddaughter and she even bit her. It is most peculiar." Seeing Ranma was still not convinced she decided to try one more time. "You didn't bite her don't worry. If she ever tries to pet you again just run away."
"Rwr."
"Alright now you just sit there we've got lots of work to do before we are ready to open." She said as she pulled her staff out of his mouth and pogo'd back to the kitchen.
The next couple of hours were spent with Cologne, Shampoo and Kasumi doing tons of prep work. Since they really didn't want his dirty paws in the food Ranma was delighted to watching Mousse fill in the holes in the wall from their impromptu sparring session, also known as ass kicking.
When the restaurant finally opened it was immediately swamped. Ranma was overwhelmed and downright scared when the food started flying out of the kitchen... literally. He was forced to catch a couple of plates himself when they came soaring his way. One on his head and the other balanced on his tail. When he got to the table the people were surprisingly unaffected by his presence. These people in Nerima seemed extremely resistant to strange and weird things.
"Ranma there's a delivery to the school. Hurry up now."
Since he'd been to the school already he knew he could find his way there. He ran up to the counter and grabbed the takeout box that Cologne had left for him and ran out the door. Cologne had given him a time limit on deliveries. Unfortunately the limit she set was about 5 minutes less than what he needed to actually do the job.
As soon as he got out the door he engaged the overdrive and tore off down the street in excess of 60 KM/h. Usually he would breathe through his mouth when he was running this fast but with the takeout box in his mouth he was forced to breath through his nostrils. It was tiring him out a lot quicker than his normal runs.
When he reached the gates to the school he knew that he had to jump the wall. At the speed he was going it didn't take much to make the jump. The takeout box not even josceling once. When he had landed he noticed a group of girls gathered under a tree. He didn't recognize the name of the person who placed the order so he wandered over to see if he could get directions. When he got there he noticed, much to his horror, that Nabiki was sitting with them.
"What the hell?!" One of the girls shouted.
"Hey that looks like one of the Cat Cafe's take out boxes." Commented one of the girls. "Hey Noriko that looks like your lunch." Another shouted.
Nabiki of course was laughing her ass off at a joke only she understood.
"Wow what a cute cheetah, I wonder where they got one so smart?"
"Smart hell I wonder how they trained it to do deliveries."
"With that old woman who knows. Did you know I once saw her pluck chestnuts right out of a roaring fire!"
"Hey yeah I saw that once too." Said Noriko. "Well how do I pay you little guy?" She said with a questioning look.
Ranma lifted his head to show her the bag that he carried around his neck.
"Ok here you go." She was a little hesitant but eventually got up the nerve to put the few coins into the pouch. She gave him a quick pet on his head. Ranma then bowed as best he could, grabbed the take out box and took off at top speed back towards the Cat cafe knowing he was going to be late.
"Oh come on Nabiki it's not that funny."
In response to this Nabiki just laughed harder.
On his way back he tried to put a bit more power into his run. The problem was that cheetahs were good on straightaways but they couldn't maintain that high speed for very long before they got tired and had to rest.
Ranma was not a normal cheetah though. He had been taught by his grandmother how to access his ki to boost his physical stats like speed, strength, toughness, healing etc beyond what his normal weir transformation gave him. The problem was that he was burning tons of ki right now and if this kept up he was going to be spent before the lunch rush was over.
As he was walking into the door Cologne's voice rang out.
"Took you long enough, there's another delivery for the preschool down the street." Suddenly a dart appeared from nowhere and stuck into the exact location on the delivery map for the preschool.
Ranma saw the delivery box with the name on it. He grabbed it and ran off towards the preschool. About twenty minutes later he returned to the restaurant.
"Aiyah! Too too cute. Shampoo have sugar shock."
Kasumi was just staring trying her hardest to resist going over there and hugging the cute kitty.
It was easy to see what was wrong. As soon as he'd gotten to the preschool he'd been able to find the teacher who placed the order. She had been terrified of him at first but since he was wearing a banner that marked him as belonging to the Cat Cafe she calmed down enough to take her food and pay him. She scooted back after that. Ranma bowed and began to leave.
It was then that his nightmare started. The children had originally been afraid of him, but given the time the teacher took to pay they had gotten over their fear. The collective call (well the little girls at least) rose up from the playground.
"Kitty!"
He tried to get away, he really and truly did, but he couldn't do it without hurting any of them. He finally gave up. The next few minutes were pure torture. His fur was short but they somehow managed to pull up enough to tie off pink ribbons... lots of pink ribbons... sickening amounts of pink ribbons. After they exhausted their seemingly limitless supply of ribbons they went on to try and ride the cute kitty. The teachers who were still reeling from seeing a cheetah snapped into action when the children tried to get on and go for a ride.
Ranma was grateful when the teachers pulled the little monsters off of him. He bowed to the teachers (which incidentally looked like he was going to pounce) then took off like the bats of hell were nipping on his ass.
He managed to break some speed records on his way back.
Unfortunately he burned up most of his ki doing it. (That and got at least 6 cars in trouble for speeding when he passed by the photo radar.) When he arrived at the door to the Cat Cafe he was extremely tired. He wavered for a few seconds after Shampoo spoke, then he fell over smacking his head against the floor. He didn't move after that until Cologne tossed a bucket of water on him.
"Get up you slacker I'm not paying you to just lay around." She flashed her hands out and removed all of the ribbons from his fur. She then put down a bucket of water in front of him along with some meat. "When you're ready there is another delivery." She then hoped back to the kitchen to continue cooking. Lunch was almost over anyway.
Shampoo was watching Ranma closely. Elder Cologne never pushed her as hard as she was pushing Ranma right now. She would have to ask her about it later. She just hoped that Ranma would be able to survive the day.
Mousse on the other hand was furious. Sure it was explained to him that Ranma was a were cheetah and that he wasn't supposed to fight him anymore but damn it! He slept with Shampoo! This wasn't what Mousse was looking for. He had enough competition with Hibiki (He couldn't beat him but he was trying.). Shampoo was his and only his.
Ranma had pretty much had it for today but it wasn't quite over yet. When he'd finished his food and water he grabbed the takeout box and took off towards the destination. He didn't go at top speed because he didn't have much energy left. If he was going to make it through the day he was going to have to pace himself.
Two deliveries later the lunch rush was finally over and he was allowed to rest. While Shampoo, Kasumi and Mousse cleaned up he basked in the sun trying to get his energy back. While he was basking Cologne came out to him.
"You didn't do too badly for your first shift." He growled a bit at her. "I hope you realize that this is training. I do the same thing to Shampoo it helps improve her strength, speed, and endurance. I'm taking it much harder on you since you seem to be a lot slower than a lot of the other were cheetah's that I've known." He grumbled a bit at this. "Yes I am aware that you're fast but you can't hold that speed for very long and you get tired a lot faster than you should. I'm going to try and help with that. Hell I may even teach you a move or two if you're lucky." He started banging his head against the ground. If the rest of her training was as hard as this then he'd rather just jab a silvered dagger right through his own heart. Wouldn't kill him but it would be a more pleasant experience.
She then got up and went back into the restaurant to take care of a couple of customers that just came in for a little snack. Ranma was left alone until school let out and the students started coming by. Most were just coming to look at the trained cheetah that they had seen or heard about at school. Once they'd come to the restaurant though the majority wanted to watch him perform. To do this however they had to order something.
Ranma was forced to jump around twisting and turning to catch flying bowls, glasses, and assorted plates. To his credit he only dropped one plate and two glasses. It was near the end of one routine when Nabiki walked into the restaurant. He was so shocked that he dropped the plate he was balancing and missed the two incoming glasses.
"Well look at what we have here. So is the kitty cat working hard?" She asked in a voice that was sweet at saccerine.
He just growled in response.
"You're paying for that!" Came from the kitchen.
"Oops sorry about that. Didn't mean to distract you." She said.
Two more plates came flying out of the kitchen towards Nabiki. She spun in the air catching both plates and put them down in front of the proper people without spilling a drop. The same thing happened a short time later when their drinks arrived.
"I'm not as good as my sisters but I can do the martial arts thing in a pinch." She said as she winked to the boys that she had just served. She then held out her hand towards them. "Of course since I don't work here the floor show deserves a tip don't you think?"
The two boys blanched and slapped some bills in her hands as quickly as they could get them out of their wallets. Ranma of course started banging his head against the floor again. If he wasn't a were cheetah he was sure that he'd get brain damage from this. He wasn't getting any tips or money of any kind from his work. All the money went to Cologne.
He really needed a new agent.
"Well then dearie you seem to know a thing or two about martial arts. You wouldn't be interested in a job would you? It can get so busy here and Shampoo and Mr. Part time can't keep up even with your sister helping." Kasumi came out of the kitchen to find out what was going on. "Ahh I'll pass on that. I've still got too much school work. Maybe Ranma would be interested in some part time after school and weekends."
Ranma was busy shaking his head.
"Well he is pretty lazy and all, so unreliable too. Hmm I guess I could hire him. Say 1000 yen per hour."
"He gets to keep all of his tips and it's a deal."
Ranma was really resisting the urge to ventilate Nabiki's dress.... and Nabiki too.
"It's a deal then." She turned to Ranma. "You start at 4 on thursday, friday, and saturday."
"What about Sunday's?" Asked Nabiki.
"Oh Sunday's are your day to work. Open to close. I expect to see you here or I'll send Shampoo to get you."
"But I don't want to work here!" She'd rather ram a silvered knife into her heart. It'd hurt less and she'd be assured that she wouldn't have to come back to work ever again.
"Those that are quick to volunteer others should be willing to work themselves. I'll see you on Sunday."
"Oh my Nabiki you're working here too? Oh this is just so great if we could get Akane here we could make it a sisters thing. Wouldn't that be so great?" Kasumi was happy, she got to work with a cute as all hell cheetah and her sister too.
"Yeah great." Nabiki mumbled.
"Yo furball enough slacking time to get back to work. Order for table three." Cologne yelled from the kitchen as ten bowls came flying out of the kitchen. Ranma caught three, Kasumi caught four, and Nabiki caught two. The last bowl landed in front of the person who ordered it.
The food was quickly distributed to the waiting patrons. They clapped at the show of agility. Kasumi gave a little bow before flipping to the center of the room, pulling out the sword and going through a relatively complex kata. The patrons just watched the show as Shampoo joined her with her own sword dance.
After the show was over some of the patrons put a little extra on the table for the tip. Dinner and a show, nobody did it better than the Cat Cafe.
The day progressed and Ranma was run off his feet delivering order after order. Nabiki had to leave shortly after she was rounded into working for the old crone. Kasumi eventually left as well to go to her other job as a dancer.
As the last customer left Ranma collapsed on the floor. About halfway through the supper rush they stopped doing deliveries and Shampoo had to go into the kitchen to help her great grandmother with the cooking. Mousse was in charge of taking orders and bussing tables, which left Ranma to deliver the orders to the table (see catch flying plates, bowls, glasses, etc). This continued until they closed at 8 pm.
Cologne came out of the kitchen. She saw Ranma collapsed on the floor. "I guess you've done enough for tonight go get cleaned up and get some sleep."
The blob that used to be Ranma oozed along the floor like a common garden slug, and up the stairs towards the furo completely forgetting that he didn't have hands to operate the knobs for the water. Cologne sighed and looked towards Shampoo.
"Go give him a hand and take a bath yourself." She said.
"Oh Shampoo I'll gladly wash your back!" Mousse shouted as he jumped up from where he was cleaning a table.
He was immediately smacked down by the heavy stick of reality, otherwise known as Cologne's stick.
"Oh no you don't Mr. Part time you get back to cleaning those tables. Ranma was doing your job today as well as part of Shampoo's so you get back to work."
Mousse went back to cleaning the table. He was just finishing up refilling the various condiments on the table when he muttered.
"Slave driver."
"And don't you forget it!" Came from the kitchen area.
Meanwhile upstairs Ranma had oozed his way to the furo door. The door was closed and the occupied sign was not out. Unfortunately for Ranma's gelatinous muscles the arduous task of jamming his paw in-between the door and the door jamb and prying it open was not possible so he just lay there staring at the door. He just sat there for five minutes before the door miraculously opened.
"You need bath, you is smelling bad."
"Grgl"
"Then again you is male cat so it natural you smell bad."
Ranma quickly considered biting her. He looked over at her ankle and tried to muster the strength to move his head. He got about halfway when he gave up and slumped back down. Effort is wasted on the lazy.
"Alright come on we get you clean the go to sleep ok?" Shampoo said as she put out the occupied sign and grabbed him by the loose skin on the back of his neck and dragged him into the changing area. She dropped her clothes into the clothes hamper and then dragged him into the furo.
She dropped him on the ground and went to fill up a bucket making sure that the water was freezing cold. She then stalked up to the oblivious cheetah laying on the floor.
"You is waking up now!" She said cheerfully as she tossed the ice water on Ranma's prone form.
Other than a slight twitch there was no reaction.
"You is really tired." Shampoo commented. She was amazed that he really didn't react.
"Oh well now we get you all clean." She said as she grabbed the soap and started lathering up his fur.
She started out with his head and worked her way down his back all the way to his tail. She then lathered down his sides. She then noticed a small problem. She still needed to do his underside but didn't know if she should roll him over. In the end she gave up and flipped him onto his back. His legs which had been compressed by his body weight sprung out straight when his body weight was removed. Shampoo had to dodge his claws as his legs shot out at her suddenly.
A little frightened by her near miss she grabbed some of the suds and started lathering his legs. She was amazed by the sheer muscle tone that was present on his legs. She wished she could feel him when he was human. She shook off that thought quickly, Ryoga was the only man for her.
She still remembered when he defeated her in front of the entire village during the annual competition. It was her last match and she was up against Lin Se last years winner. Lin Se had just swung her spiked mace and she had dropped to a crouch to avoid it. Lin Se had overcompensated a fraction of a centimeter to compensate for her miss but that was all she needed. With a mighty smash Lin Se was sent flying off the challenge log and flying into the crowd. Just as she was raising her bonbori in victory she saw a boy around her age eating her prize. Fury surrounded her as she saw this. Sure as a good will gesture the champion always offered to share the prize with the village but this outsider male just came in and started eating!
She jumped off the log and started yelling at him. She still remembered the way he looked with his hand behind his head with a piece of chicken sticking out of his mouth.
One of the people in the audience she thought it was Shin Ke told the male what he had done. His response well according to Shin Ke was that the male had challenged her for the prize. She had to think about it for a second before she accepted. If she won she'd take the boy as a slave for a couple of weeks until he'd worked off his damages. If she lost... Well at least he was better than Mousse.
They had gotten up onto the challenge log. She had pulled out her trusty bonbori, and she watched as the stranger pulled out an umbrella of all things. Deciding not to waste any time she charged. In hindsight her great-grandmother's lessons about never underestimating an opponent were never as true as they were on that day.
Even now she couldn't remember how she got off the challenge log just that her head was ringing and she saw a couple of stars. Ahh the fun of concussions and other head trauma.
She giggled as she remembered how he passed out when she actually gave him the kiss. She remembered dragging him to her room where he spent the entire night. He was unconscious so she didn't get to do any fun stuff with him. When she woke up the next morning he was gone without a trace. The sentries at the gate said that he didn't pass them so they guessed he must have jumped the wall.
She still remembered the shame of her husband running out on her, the pointing of fingers, the whispers behind her back, and the looks her peers gave her.
She tried tracking him down several times, but after going around in circles and convoluted trails for hours she eventually gave up and went to her friend Mi Tse. Mi Tse's mother was a bloodhound that had been thrown into the spring of drowned girl by the musk and then rescued by the Amazons. Mi Tse had tried tracking down her husband but the trail he left was too convoluted even for her sensitive nose. The best guess that she could give was that he had eventually headed east towards Japan but she couldn't be sure about that.
It was only after her great grandmother suggested they try to track him down in Japan did things start to get interesting. They ended up tracking him down by accident one day when he was wandering through the Nerima district. It was then that they learned about his directional sense and that he got lost easily.
By the time they found him he had already met Akane Tendo and a few other girls. He had started to fall for a few of them but his natural shyness prevented him from showing his affection for anybody.
Well that and the fact that he tended to pass out in a fountain of blood whenever anything female showed any flesh whatsoever.
She looked down at Ranma's form. He hadn't moved an inch since she had flipped him over. She reached over and grabbed the shower head. She turned it on full blast and adjusted the temperature so that it was hot but not scalding. She then turned to where Ranma was and proceeded to hose him down. The soap suds slid off his form like waves and were washed down the drain. His fur was matted down by the water. She kicked him over onto his stomach; his legs recompressing as they hit the tile floor. She then proceeded to hose off his back.
Once all of the soap was off him he looked like he'd been dunked in hair gel. His short fur was plastered to his skin. He looked like a drowned cat. Shampoo giggled a bit as he looked up at her with his pathetic eyes.
"Shampoo have to have bath now. Dry you off later ok?" She said as she sat down on the stool and began lathering herself up.
From his position on the floor Ranma had an unobstructed view of her well muscled back and butt. He cracked a smile as he forced his now slightly rejuvenated muscles to raise him off the floor. She gave him a bath already and it was only good manners to return the favor. Too bad his muscles wouldn't raise him to the level of her back. Oh well as grandmother kept telling him 'work with what you've got.'
Outside the walls and across the street the neighbors heard a loud...
"Aiyah!"
As Ranma proceeded to give Shampoo's back a good tongue lashing.
About three licks in Shampoo spun around and glared at the grinning cheetah.
"What you do that for?!" Shampoo shouted. "Pervert cat Shampoo should smash for that! Only husband allowed to touch Shampoo there!" She shouted. Ranma flinched back from the irate Amazon. "Go over by door and stay there!"
Ranma slowly trudged over to the door his head hanging low and his ears drooping. He plopped down on the tile floor spraying water all over the place. He had just laid his head in his paws when the door suddenly flew open and Mousse rushed in.
"Shampoo I'll save awk!"
Ranma slowly removed his head from Mousse's crotch where he had head butted him when he had stepped on his tail. Mousse slowly fell backwards into the changing room banging his head against the tiles. Ranma reached out with his paw and slid the door shut again. He then laid his head back onto his paws.
Shampoo continued to clean herself for a few minutes before she turned on the water and rinsed herself off. She then slid into the furo to soak for a bit. She let out a great sigh as she was fully submerged.
"You can eat Mousse if he really bother you." Shampoo idly said as she adjusted herself to get more comfortable.
Ranma started to hack and cough.
"What wrong you no like Mousse? Him taste bad?" She asked with a confused look on her face.
Ranma eventually hacked up a pink ribbon.
"Aiyahhh." She said with wide eyes. She started to reconsider sleeping with him tonight.
After a while Shampoo got out of the furo and did a bit of cleaning to make it ready for Mousse and her great grandmother. She grabbed Ranma by the back of his neck and dragged him into the changing room to get dried off. He left a trail of water in his wake and his fur polished the tile to a brilliant shine.
"Shampoo finally figure out good use for lazy cat. You is making good mop!"
Ranma just growled at this.
Mousse had long since vacated the area since he didn't want to get another beating from Ranma. He had left a couple of silvered shrunken on the floor from when he staggered away.
Shampoo grabbed a towel from the rack and started drying herself off. Ranma just watched as she swayed back and forth. He had to resist the urge to help her. She was a magnificent creature and he didn't blame Mousse one bit for trying to get her to be his mate. Too bad he was a lesser male not worthy of this ones attention. Looking up again he saw that she was standing right over him with a fresh towel. Her skin was glowing from a combination of the overhead incandescent and the miniscule bit of water that was still on her skin. She looked like some of the celestial creatures that his grandmother had shown him from her old books.
He briefly thought of bedding her.
That thought was quickly squashed as he went through all the 'not good' things that would happen if he were to pop this wildcat's cherry.
She was bending over to dry him off when he suddenly got a very evil idea. Using his newly rejuvenated muscles he stood up quickly and shook himself like a dog. It had been quite some time since she washed him but his fur was still holding quite a bit of water. Little droplets of water flew off in every direction. Shampoo brought up the towel to shield herself but it was already too late she was wet again.
Ranma just sat back on his haunches, opened his mouth and let his tongue hang out. For added effect he tried to make his eyes as vacuous as possible. He would try to bark but that would just look stupid. He briefly thought about humping her leg but he didn't think his chances of survival would be very good. Right now his chances of making it out of this room with certain appendages attached was looking quite grim.
Shampoo pulled her bonbori out of... somewhere.
"Shampoo thinking you has too too much energy. Shampoo thinking she break legs then maybe not move so fast."
While she was talking Ranma was tensing. He knew he had only one shot at this. When she finished talking she spread her legs taking a horse stance. Ranma saw his chance and bolted right through her legs and hopefully to freedom. He misjudged the distance between his back and her crotch. He ended dragging his coarse fur through her crotch. Of course the forgot that on the other side of Shampoo was the door. He used Shampoo's distraction and used his claws and ripped the door open as she was turning around. She took a quick swipe at his backside and barely clipped him.
Of course a nick from 25 kilo steel balls is enough momentum to throw off the balance of a 75 kilo cat that was already off balance. The end result was that he went careening headfirst into the far wall. The impact wasn't enough to knock him out but it was enough to stun him for a couple of seconds. To a highly trained Amazon a couple of seconds was all that she needed.
Ranma didn't even bother fighting back because he knew his damage reduction he could soak up some of her hits and his regeneration would have him healed by morning if not sooner. Another reason was that he felt that he deserved this. Of course that still left the fact that it still hurt like a sonofabitch.
Eventually she stopped. In actuality it was only a thirty second thrashing that didn't leave Ranma nearly as hurt as he expected. In fact if he didn't know better he would have guessed that she knew exactly where to inflict the most pain for the least damage. Thinking of Mousse and his masochistic tendencies a sadist like Shampoo would be a godsend for him. Too bad he was a stupid moron or they would be perfect for each other.
By the time she'd dragged his carcass upstairs he was mostly healed. She lay down on her futon and curled up beside him. He licked her face to say that he was sorry for spraying her with water. She responded by putting him in a headlock.
"You no eat Shampoo." She said while giving his head a little twist for emphasis.
Ranma nodded as much as he could. She let him go and he gasped for breath. He silently wondered if that Ukyo girl was interested in a trained cheetah waiter. She probably wouldn't be such a slaved river and she couldn't do half the damage Shampoo could with that big spatula of hers.
Authors notes.
I'm really really sorry this took so long to get out. We have been getting so many calls here lately that I have had zero time to write. I'm currently working on Fast tracks and another episode of Lunocracy. Lunocracy is one of my side projects so donn't expect to see too many updates for it as I just use it to clear writers block.
In reference to the Kasumi being bitten by cats all the time, yes that is ripped off Azumanga Daioh. If you haven't seen it yet download it, rent it, just watch it. It's hilariously funny.