Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.
Tears immediately sprang to Tatsuha's eyes as he heard the words he had longed to hear for six years. The man he loved more than anything wanted to be his lover, and there was no way he could ever refuse him. Ryuuichi's eyes widened as Tatsuha accepted his words, clasping the singer's hands together so that he could bind them with the satin fabric.
Pushing Ryuuichi's bound hands behind his head, he helped the older man find a comfortable position on the bed as he plucked a piece of ice from the bucket beside them. Starting with Ryuuichi's lips, he rubbed the ice across them, bending down to warm the coldness of them with lingering licks of his tongue and finally the heated pressure of his mouth, taking possession of the singer's lips with his own.
Ryuuichi returned the kiss in force, the pair coaxing a feverish response out of each other. Next, Tatsuha took the melting cube into his mouth to alternate the hot and cold feeling of Ryuuichi's very sensitive neck, playfully nipping right behind his ear and then tenderly kissing the offended area.
As much as Ryuuichi seemed to be enjoying their romantic interlude, the sensations the teen caused were almost too much for him to bear. He had reasoned that Tatsuha would have a little experience in the bedroom, but he hadn't expected him to be so incredibly passionate, able to make him painfully erect with only a few deep tongue kisses.
He whimpered, almost wishing he hadn't allowed Tatsuha to tie him up now, as the teen carressed the hard planes of his bare chest, sweeping his hands across his flat stomach, narrow hips and across the boundary of where his towel laid. He repeated his action with another piece of ice, making the older man cry out.
"Tatsuha!" he cried, as the teen ran his tongue across his nipples, their bodies rocking against each other.
By this time, he could tell that Tatsuha was as affected as he was, as he panted heavily against the older man's ear, reaching down to loosen his pants to make himself more comfortable.
Ryuuichi arched his hips against Tatsuha's, seeking more friction to ease the overwhelming ache between his legs. He was completely helpless to the teen, who seemed content to torture his captive by pressing his body flush against the singer's and taking possession of his mouth in a fevered, urgent kiss.
Their slight movements against each other loosened both Tatsuha's jeans and Ryuuichi's towel, Tatsuha breaking the kiss to move hi shand to the confines of Ryuuichi's last barrier.
Tears sprang to Ryuuichi's eyes as he threw his head back with his eyes closed, encouraging Tatsuha as he ran his hand down Ryuuichi's hips and upper thighs, gasping himself when he reached his destination.
Once again Tatsuha's imagination had not done Ryuuichi justice, the hard length of him responding to the teen's touch. Tatsuha almost hated to torture the older man with the remainder of the melted ice, but he knew if he did not, this experience would be over before it started.
He saw Ryuuichi's eyes snap open as he climbed down off the bed just long enough to relieve himself of his jeans, allowing Ryuuichi to see all that he was offering.
No words were needed between them as he rejoined his soon to be lover, groaning out loud as Ryuuichi moaned from their bodies moving against each other. Tatsuha was impressively endowed for such a young man, and he worried for a moment that the teen might be too much for him.
Ryuuichi was not used to being the aggressor no matter how much he desired a lover, but the length of time it had been between lovers caused him a moment of apprehesion before he gave himself completely to the teen again.
Ryuuichi had never felt so much pleasure and pain at once, desire eating away at his aching arousal as he longed for Tatsuha to chase the chill with his heated mouth. All thoughts flew out of his head as he got his wish, Tatsuha's tongue warming the tip of his arousal and down the shaft before taking him completely into his mouth.
"Tatsuha..." he choked out, crying out in pleasure as the teen pleasured him with that wickedly sinful mouth of his.
Bringing the singer right to the brink of his most ardent pleasure, Tatsuha rose to claim Ryuuichi's lips again, Ryuuichi raising his bound arms to rest them around Tatsuha's shoulders.
"Gods...that was incredible...I've never had anyone make me feel this way before." Ryuuichi told him, his body still aching in search of completion.
Tatsuha smiled, burying his head against the neck of the one he loved. "I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way. You can't possibly know how much. I love you, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha whispered.
Ryuuichi stared at him wide eyed for a moment. "Tatsuha...did you say that you loved me?" he asked him.
Tatsuha smiled. "Yes, yes, of course I did! I love you very much, Ryuuichi, with everything that I am." he told him.
This time Ryuuichi couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face, confused and frightened by the teen's confession. "No...you cannot love me. You can't...please Tatsuha, please untie me." he whispered.
Tatsuha looked down at the distraught vocalist, smoothing his hair away from his face out of concern. "Ryuuichi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I promise. I'll untie you if that's what you want." he told him.
Ryuuichi nodded, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to meet the teen's confused gaze as he undid the fastenings at his wrists. Tatsuha leaned back, allowing Ryuuichi to get up out of bed to pull on a pair of jeans.
"Please Tatsuha, I hope you can forgive me for tonight, for robbing you of what you've waited for for so long. I'm sorry." Ryuuichi whispered.
Tatsuha came up behind him and embraced him. "You don't have to apolgize. Don't ever apolgize for something you and I share together, please." he said softly.
"I'm going to visit the others for a little while, okay? Please get some rest while I'm gone." Ryuuichi told him.
Tatsuha stared at Ryuuichi out of concern and confusion for a moment before accepting his idol's request. "Okay." he said.
Ryuuichi managed a weak smile, tenderly kissing the younger man's cheek. "Thank you." he said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Climbing back onto the bed he had recently shared with his idol, Tatsuha blinked back the tears that threatened to stain his face, trying to make sense of what had happened. He knew it had something to do with the fact that he had confessed his feelings for him and he couldn't understand why this would cause Ryuuichi to react the way he had. Perhaps he had been too hasty in doing so, but he had been overwhelmed with emotion for his idol that it couldn't be helped.
He couldn't even imagine that he had the only one that had felt their strong emotional connection and perhaps that was what had frightened Ryuuichi the most. Tatsuha's heart ached from the thought that he had hurt the one he loved most, even as he knew the older man needed time alone to sort out these feelings for himself.
Collasping against the hotel wall in tears, Ryuuichi hid his face from those that might come across him in the hallway. This was the reason he had never gotten emotionally involved with a lover, because he knew he would eventually meet someone that he wanted to love in return.
As much as he cared about the young man that been hired as his bodyguard, he could not allow himself to love Tatsuha in return, the reality of that conclusion slicing through his damaged heart.
The last time he had loved someone he had gotten his heart crushed beyond repair and had never fully recovered since. He had trusted his lover and loved him with every breath in his body before the one he had loved had not even given him a chance to achieve closure.
It was better this way for him and Tatsuha. Once he gained a level head about the situation, he would return to their room and explain to the teen that they could not continue on the way they had been.
Thinking about that eventuality made his tears come back in force, not wanting to hurt Tatsuha the way he had been. "Gods...what am I going to do now?" he wailed.
"Well, you can get off the flithy floor for starters." Noriko said, standing over him with her hands on her hips.
"Noriko-chan! What are you doing up so late?" he asked her.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "As if anybody could get any sleep with you crying out here. You should just be glad that you didn't wake up Touma and Mika. You know how tempermental Touma is." Noriko told him.
Ryuuichi nodded. "Yes. I'm well aware. I'm sorry I disturbed you. I just needed to get some fresh air for a minute." he said.
"Isn't that boy Tatsuha supposed to be with you then? That's not what you're upset about, is it? Or is it something or someone else entirely?" she asked him.
Ryuuichi glared at her, rising to his feet. "I just had something in my eye, that's all. I'm going back to bed now." he told her.
Noriko turned on him then. "That's a load of shit and you know it, Ryuuichi! It's not fair of you to punish that poor teenaged boy just because you never made peace with your past with Touma." she told him.
"Give it a rest, Noriko-chan. This is my problem and I'll handle it as I see fit. I would never intentionally hurt Tatsuha. That's the last thing I want to do." he told her.
Noriko sighed as Ryuuichi walked away to return to his room. As close as a bond as the two of them had, she would never understand why Ryuuichi could push so many potiental soulmates away out of his fear of getting close. Tatsuha was fifferent from all the others, and somehow she knew that Ryuuichi knew that too.
The next month went by like clockwork for the members of Nittle Grasper and Ryuuichi's ever present bodyguard Tatsuha. The longest night of all had been the night Ryuuichi had returned to his hotel room, curling up against the warmth of the younger man's body.
As much as his heart ached with regret, Tatsuha could never push the man he loved away, wrapping his arms around the older man's slumbering form. The next morning arrived with Ryuuichi nowhere to be found, having left for the studio with Noriko and Touma by himself. He left a specially made breakfast behind for the teen along with a handwritten note for him to take some time to himself. An accompanying letter from Touma confirmed this, and Tatsuha decided to take the time to run errands for himself and to cash the check Touma had left behind for him.
The check was considerably more than he had thought it would be, Touma's way of thanking Tatsuha for dealing with their difficult vocalist.
Tatsuha thought about what options he had to exercise during this unexpected break from his summer job. He could go back and visit his brother Eiri, who he was sure would be thrilled to see him, or take some time back with is family in Kyoto.
They would probably just put him back to work performing rituals or having to avoid the efforts of past lovers to reconnect with him. He ven thought about spending some time hanging out with the members of Bad Luck.
Would it be such a bad thing to share his body with someone he had been with before back in Kyoto, he wondered. After being in Ryuuichi's arms and sharing what they had shared, he knew that this was impossible. There was no one else he wanted anymore except for the one he couldn't have.
Nothing had changed; his idol was just a product of his fantasties as he had always been, only now he had gotten a taste of what it was like to love such a man, to share the overwhelming passion that had made Ryuuichi have to push him away. He could not allow his pain to take control of his feelings for the singer, the only thing he had left to hold on to. He decided that he would go on a ride on his motorcycle until his head cleared.
Tears immediately sprang to Tatsuha's eyes as he heard the words he had longed to hear for six years. The man he loved more than anything wanted to be his lover, and there was no way he could ever refuse him. Ryuuichi's eyes widened as Tatsuha accepted his words, clasping the singer's hands together so that he could bind them with the satin fabric.
Pushing Ryuuichi's bound hands behind his head, he helped the older man find a comfortable position on the bed as he plucked a piece of ice from the bucket beside them. Starting with Ryuuichi's lips, he rubbed the ice across them, bending down to warm the coldness of them with lingering licks of his tongue and finally the heated pressure of his mouth, taking possession of the singer's lips with his own.
Ryuuichi returned the kiss in force, the pair coaxing a feverish response out of each other. Next, Tatsuha took the melting cube into his mouth to alternate the hot and cold feeling of Ryuuichi's very sensitive neck, playfully nipping right behind his ear and then tenderly kissing the offended area.
As much as Ryuuichi seemed to be enjoying their romantic interlude, the sensations the teen caused were almost too much for him to bear. He had reasoned that Tatsuha would have a little experience in the bedroom, but he hadn't expected him to be so incredibly passionate, able to make him painfully erect with only a few deep tongue kisses.
He whimpered, almost wishing he hadn't allowed Tatsuha to tie him up now, as the teen carressed the hard planes of his bare chest, sweeping his hands across his flat stomach, narrow hips and across the boundary of where his towel laid. He repeated his action with another piece of ice, making the older man cry out.
"Tatsuha!" he cried, as the teen ran his tongue across his nipples, their bodies rocking against each other.
By this time, he could tell that Tatsuha was as affected as he was, as he panted heavily against the older man's ear, reaching down to loosen his pants to make himself more comfortable.
Ryuuichi arched his hips against Tatsuha's, seeking more friction to ease the overwhelming ache between his legs. He was completely helpless to the teen, who seemed content to torture his captive by pressing his body flush against the singer's and taking possession of his mouth in a fevered, urgent kiss.
Their slight movements against each other loosened both Tatsuha's jeans and Ryuuichi's towel, Tatsuha breaking the kiss to move hi shand to the confines of Ryuuichi's last barrier.
Tears sprang to Ryuuichi's eyes as he threw his head back with his eyes closed, encouraging Tatsuha as he ran his hand down Ryuuichi's hips and upper thighs, gasping himself when he reached his destination.
Once again Tatsuha's imagination had not done Ryuuichi justice, the hard length of him responding to the teen's touch. Tatsuha almost hated to torture the older man with the remainder of the melted ice, but he knew if he did not, this experience would be over before it started.
He saw Ryuuichi's eyes snap open as he climbed down off the bed just long enough to relieve himself of his jeans, allowing Ryuuichi to see all that he was offering.
No words were needed between them as he rejoined his soon to be lover, groaning out loud as Ryuuichi moaned from their bodies moving against each other. Tatsuha was impressively endowed for such a young man, and he worried for a moment that the teen might be too much for him.
Ryuuichi was not used to being the aggressor no matter how much he desired a lover, but the length of time it had been between lovers caused him a moment of apprehesion before he gave himself completely to the teen again.
Ryuuichi had never felt so much pleasure and pain at once, desire eating away at his aching arousal as he longed for Tatsuha to chase the chill with his heated mouth. All thoughts flew out of his head as he got his wish, Tatsuha's tongue warming the tip of his arousal and down the shaft before taking him completely into his mouth.
"Tatsuha..." he choked out, crying out in pleasure as the teen pleasured him with that wickedly sinful mouth of his.
Bringing the singer right to the brink of his most ardent pleasure, Tatsuha rose to claim Ryuuichi's lips again, Ryuuichi raising his bound arms to rest them around Tatsuha's shoulders.
"Gods...that was incredible...I've never had anyone make me feel this way before." Ryuuichi told him, his body still aching in search of completion.
Tatsuha smiled, burying his head against the neck of the one he loved. "I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way. You can't possibly know how much. I love you, Ryuuichi." Tatsuha whispered.
Ryuuichi stared at him wide eyed for a moment. "Tatsuha...did you say that you loved me?" he asked him.
Tatsuha smiled. "Yes, yes, of course I did! I love you very much, Ryuuichi, with everything that I am." he told him.
This time Ryuuichi couldn't stop the tears that flowed down his face, confused and frightened by the teen's confession. "No...you cannot love me. You can't...please Tatsuha, please untie me." he whispered.
Tatsuha looked down at the distraught vocalist, smoothing his hair away from his face out of concern. "Ryuuichi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I promise. I'll untie you if that's what you want." he told him.
Ryuuichi nodded, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to meet the teen's confused gaze as he undid the fastenings at his wrists. Tatsuha leaned back, allowing Ryuuichi to get up out of bed to pull on a pair of jeans.
"Please Tatsuha, I hope you can forgive me for tonight, for robbing you of what you've waited for for so long. I'm sorry." Ryuuichi whispered.
Tatsuha came up behind him and embraced him. "You don't have to apolgize. Don't ever apolgize for something you and I share together, please." he said softly.
"I'm going to visit the others for a little while, okay? Please get some rest while I'm gone." Ryuuichi told him.
Tatsuha stared at Ryuuichi out of concern and confusion for a moment before accepting his idol's request. "Okay." he said.
Ryuuichi managed a weak smile, tenderly kissing the younger man's cheek. "Thank you." he said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Climbing back onto the bed he had recently shared with his idol, Tatsuha blinked back the tears that threatened to stain his face, trying to make sense of what had happened. He knew it had something to do with the fact that he had confessed his feelings for him and he couldn't understand why this would cause Ryuuichi to react the way he had. Perhaps he had been too hasty in doing so, but he had been overwhelmed with emotion for his idol that it couldn't be helped.
He couldn't even imagine that he had the only one that had felt their strong emotional connection and perhaps that was what had frightened Ryuuichi the most. Tatsuha's heart ached from the thought that he had hurt the one he loved most, even as he knew the older man needed time alone to sort out these feelings for himself.
Collasping against the hotel wall in tears, Ryuuichi hid his face from those that might come across him in the hallway. This was the reason he had never gotten emotionally involved with a lover, because he knew he would eventually meet someone that he wanted to love in return.
As much as he cared about the young man that been hired as his bodyguard, he could not allow himself to love Tatsuha in return, the reality of that conclusion slicing through his damaged heart.
The last time he had loved someone he had gotten his heart crushed beyond repair and had never fully recovered since. He had trusted his lover and loved him with every breath in his body before the one he had loved had not even given him a chance to achieve closure.
It was better this way for him and Tatsuha. Once he gained a level head about the situation, he would return to their room and explain to the teen that they could not continue on the way they had been.
Thinking about that eventuality made his tears come back in force, not wanting to hurt Tatsuha the way he had been. "Gods...what am I going to do now?" he wailed.
"Well, you can get off the flithy floor for starters." Noriko said, standing over him with her hands on her hips.
"Noriko-chan! What are you doing up so late?" he asked her.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "As if anybody could get any sleep with you crying out here. You should just be glad that you didn't wake up Touma and Mika. You know how tempermental Touma is." Noriko told him.
Ryuuichi nodded. "Yes. I'm well aware. I'm sorry I disturbed you. I just needed to get some fresh air for a minute." he said.
"Isn't that boy Tatsuha supposed to be with you then? That's not what you're upset about, is it? Or is it something or someone else entirely?" she asked him.
Ryuuichi glared at her, rising to his feet. "I just had something in my eye, that's all. I'm going back to bed now." he told her.
Noriko turned on him then. "That's a load of shit and you know it, Ryuuichi! It's not fair of you to punish that poor teenaged boy just because you never made peace with your past with Touma." she told him.
"Give it a rest, Noriko-chan. This is my problem and I'll handle it as I see fit. I would never intentionally hurt Tatsuha. That's the last thing I want to do." he told her.
Noriko sighed as Ryuuichi walked away to return to his room. As close as a bond as the two of them had, she would never understand why Ryuuichi could push so many potiental soulmates away out of his fear of getting close. Tatsuha was fifferent from all the others, and somehow she knew that Ryuuichi knew that too.
The next month went by like clockwork for the members of Nittle Grasper and Ryuuichi's ever present bodyguard Tatsuha. The longest night of all had been the night Ryuuichi had returned to his hotel room, curling up against the warmth of the younger man's body.
As much as his heart ached with regret, Tatsuha could never push the man he loved away, wrapping his arms around the older man's slumbering form. The next morning arrived with Ryuuichi nowhere to be found, having left for the studio with Noriko and Touma by himself. He left a specially made breakfast behind for the teen along with a handwritten note for him to take some time to himself. An accompanying letter from Touma confirmed this, and Tatsuha decided to take the time to run errands for himself and to cash the check Touma had left behind for him.
The check was considerably more than he had thought it would be, Touma's way of thanking Tatsuha for dealing with their difficult vocalist.
Tatsuha thought about what options he had to exercise during this unexpected break from his summer job. He could go back and visit his brother Eiri, who he was sure would be thrilled to see him, or take some time back with is family in Kyoto.
They would probably just put him back to work performing rituals or having to avoid the efforts of past lovers to reconnect with him. He ven thought about spending some time hanging out with the members of Bad Luck.
Would it be such a bad thing to share his body with someone he had been with before back in Kyoto, he wondered. After being in Ryuuichi's arms and sharing what they had shared, he knew that this was impossible. There was no one else he wanted anymore except for the one he couldn't have.
Nothing had changed; his idol was just a product of his fantasties as he had always been, only now he had gotten a taste of what it was like to love such a man, to share the overwhelming passion that had made Ryuuichi have to push him away. He could not allow his pain to take control of his feelings for the singer, the only thing he had left to hold on to. He decided that he would go on a ride on his motorcycle until his head cleared.