Disclaimer-Gravitation does not belong to me.
The last thing Tatsuha wanted to think about as he rode his motorcycle to parts unknown was what happened between him and Ryuuichi. His confession had been entirely too hasty for the conflicted singer to accept, and he should have considered that before saying it. I should just be grateful that my honey Ryuuichi returned my feelings at all, he thought.
So why wasn't that good enough, he wondered. He was sure it had something to do with the connection he felt with the older man when they were together, how Ryuuichi wanted so desperately to allow him close even as damaged emotionally as he was.
It almost reminded him of the dynamics of his brother's past relationship with Shuichi, how his brother had kept the energetic singer at arm's length to avoid facing his own past before finally making peace with it.
It seemed like and his siblings were just gluttons for punishment in the romance department. Yuki had been promiscuous for years to hide his own insecurities before getting involved with Shuichi, his demeanor as cool and distant as it had always been despite attempting to open his heart once it was too late.
He wasn't privvy to all the details of his sister's Mika and Touma's courtship, but he knew that she had been very conflicted over whether she had made the right choice in falling in love with the blonde musician.
It was like their family was somehow cursed with bad judgement, not knowing when to pull away emotionally from those they loved. Even though Yuki had survived his and Shuichi's breakup and Mika had eventually married the man she loved, Tatsuha just couldn't see himself overcoming the odds to get what he really wanted.
As much as he desperately wanted to, there was just no way that he could go back to loving Ryuuichi as just an unachievable fantasy. He vowed for the rest of the summer that he would follow his sister's example, to prove to Ryuuichi that he was committed to him body, mind and soul, lovers or otherwise...
Not surprised to find his hotel room dark and empty once he returned, Ryuuichi decided to run himself a hot bath while he cuddled Kumagoro for comfort. The small pink bunny was a poor substitute for the embrace of the teen that had stolen his heart. Somehow, though, by holding his small captive close, he came up with an idea to make up to Tatsuha for his behavior.
Searching through the heavy wooden dresser, he pulled out a pair of tailored black pants and a black satin short sleeve button down shirt. It was an outfit he rarely wore because it betrayed his true age, but it fit what he was planning.
Scrawling down a quick note to Tatsuha, he left it where the teen would easily find it, and undressed to indulge in a hot soak before dressing for the night ahead. Brushing a kiss across the cheek of his beloved pet, Ryuuichi smiled.
'Wish me luck, Kumagoro." he told him.
After his abrupt departure the night they were together last, Ryuuichi wouldn't blame the teen if he never returned, but he hoped for both their sakes that he did.
The quiet of the hotel room was almost deafening as Tatsuha returned to the room that he and Ryuuichi shared, his thoughts only of collapsing on the hotel bed and forgetting that the last month had even ever happened. This would allow him to make a fresh start, to concentrate on doing his job to the best of his ability while creating a stronger bond with his idol.
What he didn't expect was a note left behind by the man in question, the room awash in the sweet smell of Ryuuichi's signature scent, that honeysuckle and musk. He fought his body's betrayal to this so he could read the letter without getting distracted.
Tatsuha- I would like to invite you to have dinner with me at the Luna Cove tonight. I have reservations in both our names so whenever you see fir to show up is fine. I'll be waiting until then. Ryuuichi
An invitation for dinner, Tatsuha thought. He had heard of the Luna Cove before. It was one of the most exclusive seafood restaurants in the city, a place where only the most elite could afford their decadent dishes.
Tatsuha knew to accept meant that he would have to dress accordingly and he didn't really own anything that dressy. He wondered if his brother Eiri would be opposed to letting him borrow something, their height and build nearly the same.
He really hated to ask his older brother for anything, but if this invitation led to more for him and Ryuuichi together, than his short jaunt there would be like an investment in his future.
It was somehow comforting to visit his older brother that evening in search of his taste in clothing even as he was surprised upon arriving to find Hiroshi, the guitarist for Bad Luck, leaning with his arms crossed against his motorcycle parked in front of Yuki's home.
"Hiro! What are you doing here?" he asked him.
"I brought Shuichi here to meet with Yuki. He asked Shuichi to meet with him tonight for some reason and he asked me to wait for him. What are you doing here?" Hiro asked him.
"I came to see if Eiri-san would let me borrow some clothes so I could meet Ryuuichi downtown." Tatsuha said.
"I'm sure that won't be a problem once he and Shuichi finish whatever he asked him here to discuss." Hiro said.
"You don't think my brother might be trying to reconcile with him, do you?" Tatsuha asked.
"I thought about it, but I trust Shuichi completely. As much as he still cares about Yuki, I know where his heart truly lies." Hiro said.
Tatsuha wished he could be that confident about what he and Ryuuichi had together as he rested on the steps close by to keep Hiroshi company.
Yuki's heart ached as he looked down into the tormented eyes of his ex- lover who had come to see him when he asked him to do so, the chemistry between them just as potent as it had always been. He had listened to Shuichi confess that he had been there the night Yuki had decided to go home to Japan, but Hiro had found him instead.
"It was like fate chose to be together, Yuki. I love Hiroshi with every breath in my body. He completes me in ways you and I never could. I'm sorry, Yuki. I really am." Shuichi told him.
Yuki moved closer to him, trapping him in a corner of the room, reaching down to wipe away the tears that spilled from the teen's eyes.
"I understand. Believe me, I understand more than you know. The only part of this whole thing that has ever weighed heavily on me was that you and I never achieved closure. How do you feel about that, Shuichi?" Yuki asked him.
Shuichi closed his eyes to the feeling of Yuki's palm against his face, his tears soaking his ex-lover's pale skin. "Yes. Yes, I have. I understand completely how you feel, Yuki." he told him.
Closing the space between them, Shuichi allowed Yuki to weave his fingers into his shaggy red hair to slant his mouth over his in a deep, passionate kiss. they echoed each other's moans as they plundered each other's mouths, Shuichi clinging desperately to the blonde writer with his arms around his waist. Parting from each other, Yuki nuzzled the singer's neck for a moment as they embraced tightly.
"Thank you, Shuichi." he told him.
Shuichi managed to smile up at him through his tears. "You're welcome, Yuki." he said.
Parting from his ex-lover to join Hiroshi outside, Hiro rushed to his best friend's side to comfort him, the two men clinging to each other in the darkness.
"It'll be okay, Shindou-san. I promise it will." Hiro assured him.
Shuichi nodded, understanding completely, smiling as he realized that Tatsuha had been there the whole time.
"Good evening, Tatsuha." he said, squeezing Hiro's hand in his.
Tatsuha smiled. "Please don't let me keep the two of you. I'm not going to be here long myself." he said.
Shuichi looked up at him. "If this has something to do with Ryuuichi, whatever it is, you know Hiro and I wish you only the best." Shuichi said.
Hiro smiled. "Yes. That's right." he agreed.
"Thanks. I appreciate that. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." Tatsuha said, leaving the pair alone together.
The sound of Hiro's departing motorcycle was one of the many faint noises he heard as he turned the key in Yuki's door to unlock it.
"What are you doing here at this time of night without letting me know you were coming first?" Yuki asked him, arms crossed in front of him on the couch.
Tatsuha sighed. "I know you hate it when I arrive unannounced, but I came to see if I could borrow some clothes from you to wear to meet Ryuuichi downtown tonight." he told him.
Yuki cocked an eyebrow at him. "This must be important if you're not willing to settle on your regular clothes. I guess we could look and see if I have something that might fit you." Yuki said.
"That's the least you could do since I lent you some robes to wear when you visited Kyoto last." Tatsuha chided him.
Yuki narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't push it. You're just lucky I'm in a good mood tonight. Take whatever you want, but you'll be responsible for dry cleaning if anything gets dirty." Yuki told him.
After a short search, Tatsuha settled on a pair of black dress pants to wear over his black boots and a short sleeve button down purple dress shirt.
"That's a big difference. You almost look like an adult now." Yuki told him with a grin.
Tatsuha frowned at him, smoothing down his unruly mop of dark hair in front of Yuki's bedroom mirror. "You never change, do you?" he asked.
Yuki chuckled. "I'd hate to disappoint. Good luck out there tonight. I hope you have better luck than I did." he said.
Tatsuha smiled at the slight change his short meeting with Shuichi had made in him. "Thank you, Eiri-san." he said.
Luck had nothing to do with what he and Ryuuichi had together. Whatever was meant to happen between him and the object of affection would happen, and he would accept that, good, bad or otherwise...
The last thing Tatsuha wanted to think about as he rode his motorcycle to parts unknown was what happened between him and Ryuuichi. His confession had been entirely too hasty for the conflicted singer to accept, and he should have considered that before saying it. I should just be grateful that my honey Ryuuichi returned my feelings at all, he thought.
So why wasn't that good enough, he wondered. He was sure it had something to do with the connection he felt with the older man when they were together, how Ryuuichi wanted so desperately to allow him close even as damaged emotionally as he was.
It almost reminded him of the dynamics of his brother's past relationship with Shuichi, how his brother had kept the energetic singer at arm's length to avoid facing his own past before finally making peace with it.
It seemed like and his siblings were just gluttons for punishment in the romance department. Yuki had been promiscuous for years to hide his own insecurities before getting involved with Shuichi, his demeanor as cool and distant as it had always been despite attempting to open his heart once it was too late.
He wasn't privvy to all the details of his sister's Mika and Touma's courtship, but he knew that she had been very conflicted over whether she had made the right choice in falling in love with the blonde musician.
It was like their family was somehow cursed with bad judgement, not knowing when to pull away emotionally from those they loved. Even though Yuki had survived his and Shuichi's breakup and Mika had eventually married the man she loved, Tatsuha just couldn't see himself overcoming the odds to get what he really wanted.
As much as he desperately wanted to, there was just no way that he could go back to loving Ryuuichi as just an unachievable fantasy. He vowed for the rest of the summer that he would follow his sister's example, to prove to Ryuuichi that he was committed to him body, mind and soul, lovers or otherwise...
Not surprised to find his hotel room dark and empty once he returned, Ryuuichi decided to run himself a hot bath while he cuddled Kumagoro for comfort. The small pink bunny was a poor substitute for the embrace of the teen that had stolen his heart. Somehow, though, by holding his small captive close, he came up with an idea to make up to Tatsuha for his behavior.
Searching through the heavy wooden dresser, he pulled out a pair of tailored black pants and a black satin short sleeve button down shirt. It was an outfit he rarely wore because it betrayed his true age, but it fit what he was planning.
Scrawling down a quick note to Tatsuha, he left it where the teen would easily find it, and undressed to indulge in a hot soak before dressing for the night ahead. Brushing a kiss across the cheek of his beloved pet, Ryuuichi smiled.
'Wish me luck, Kumagoro." he told him.
After his abrupt departure the night they were together last, Ryuuichi wouldn't blame the teen if he never returned, but he hoped for both their sakes that he did.
The quiet of the hotel room was almost deafening as Tatsuha returned to the room that he and Ryuuichi shared, his thoughts only of collapsing on the hotel bed and forgetting that the last month had even ever happened. This would allow him to make a fresh start, to concentrate on doing his job to the best of his ability while creating a stronger bond with his idol.
What he didn't expect was a note left behind by the man in question, the room awash in the sweet smell of Ryuuichi's signature scent, that honeysuckle and musk. He fought his body's betrayal to this so he could read the letter without getting distracted.
Tatsuha- I would like to invite you to have dinner with me at the Luna Cove tonight. I have reservations in both our names so whenever you see fir to show up is fine. I'll be waiting until then. Ryuuichi
An invitation for dinner, Tatsuha thought. He had heard of the Luna Cove before. It was one of the most exclusive seafood restaurants in the city, a place where only the most elite could afford their decadent dishes.
Tatsuha knew to accept meant that he would have to dress accordingly and he didn't really own anything that dressy. He wondered if his brother Eiri would be opposed to letting him borrow something, their height and build nearly the same.
He really hated to ask his older brother for anything, but if this invitation led to more for him and Ryuuichi together, than his short jaunt there would be like an investment in his future.
It was somehow comforting to visit his older brother that evening in search of his taste in clothing even as he was surprised upon arriving to find Hiroshi, the guitarist for Bad Luck, leaning with his arms crossed against his motorcycle parked in front of Yuki's home.
"Hiro! What are you doing here?" he asked him.
"I brought Shuichi here to meet with Yuki. He asked Shuichi to meet with him tonight for some reason and he asked me to wait for him. What are you doing here?" Hiro asked him.
"I came to see if Eiri-san would let me borrow some clothes so I could meet Ryuuichi downtown." Tatsuha said.
"I'm sure that won't be a problem once he and Shuichi finish whatever he asked him here to discuss." Hiro said.
"You don't think my brother might be trying to reconcile with him, do you?" Tatsuha asked.
"I thought about it, but I trust Shuichi completely. As much as he still cares about Yuki, I know where his heart truly lies." Hiro said.
Tatsuha wished he could be that confident about what he and Ryuuichi had together as he rested on the steps close by to keep Hiroshi company.
Yuki's heart ached as he looked down into the tormented eyes of his ex- lover who had come to see him when he asked him to do so, the chemistry between them just as potent as it had always been. He had listened to Shuichi confess that he had been there the night Yuki had decided to go home to Japan, but Hiro had found him instead.
"It was like fate chose to be together, Yuki. I love Hiroshi with every breath in my body. He completes me in ways you and I never could. I'm sorry, Yuki. I really am." Shuichi told him.
Yuki moved closer to him, trapping him in a corner of the room, reaching down to wipe away the tears that spilled from the teen's eyes.
"I understand. Believe me, I understand more than you know. The only part of this whole thing that has ever weighed heavily on me was that you and I never achieved closure. How do you feel about that, Shuichi?" Yuki asked him.
Shuichi closed his eyes to the feeling of Yuki's palm against his face, his tears soaking his ex-lover's pale skin. "Yes. Yes, I have. I understand completely how you feel, Yuki." he told him.
Closing the space between them, Shuichi allowed Yuki to weave his fingers into his shaggy red hair to slant his mouth over his in a deep, passionate kiss. they echoed each other's moans as they plundered each other's mouths, Shuichi clinging desperately to the blonde writer with his arms around his waist. Parting from each other, Yuki nuzzled the singer's neck for a moment as they embraced tightly.
"Thank you, Shuichi." he told him.
Shuichi managed to smile up at him through his tears. "You're welcome, Yuki." he said.
Parting from his ex-lover to join Hiroshi outside, Hiro rushed to his best friend's side to comfort him, the two men clinging to each other in the darkness.
"It'll be okay, Shindou-san. I promise it will." Hiro assured him.
Shuichi nodded, understanding completely, smiling as he realized that Tatsuha had been there the whole time.
"Good evening, Tatsuha." he said, squeezing Hiro's hand in his.
Tatsuha smiled. "Please don't let me keep the two of you. I'm not going to be here long myself." he said.
Shuichi looked up at him. "If this has something to do with Ryuuichi, whatever it is, you know Hiro and I wish you only the best." Shuichi said.
Hiro smiled. "Yes. That's right." he agreed.
"Thanks. I appreciate that. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon." Tatsuha said, leaving the pair alone together.
The sound of Hiro's departing motorcycle was one of the many faint noises he heard as he turned the key in Yuki's door to unlock it.
"What are you doing here at this time of night without letting me know you were coming first?" Yuki asked him, arms crossed in front of him on the couch.
Tatsuha sighed. "I know you hate it when I arrive unannounced, but I came to see if I could borrow some clothes from you to wear to meet Ryuuichi downtown tonight." he told him.
Yuki cocked an eyebrow at him. "This must be important if you're not willing to settle on your regular clothes. I guess we could look and see if I have something that might fit you." Yuki said.
"That's the least you could do since I lent you some robes to wear when you visited Kyoto last." Tatsuha chided him.
Yuki narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't push it. You're just lucky I'm in a good mood tonight. Take whatever you want, but you'll be responsible for dry cleaning if anything gets dirty." Yuki told him.
After a short search, Tatsuha settled on a pair of black dress pants to wear over his black boots and a short sleeve button down purple dress shirt.
"That's a big difference. You almost look like an adult now." Yuki told him with a grin.
Tatsuha frowned at him, smoothing down his unruly mop of dark hair in front of Yuki's bedroom mirror. "You never change, do you?" he asked.
Yuki chuckled. "I'd hate to disappoint. Good luck out there tonight. I hope you have better luck than I did." he said.
Tatsuha smiled at the slight change his short meeting with Shuichi had made in him. "Thank you, Eiri-san." he said.
Luck had nothing to do with what he and Ryuuichi had together. Whatever was meant to happen between him and the object of affection would happen, and he would accept that, good, bad or otherwise...