She never knew that sin had a color.
Of course, she always heard it as a child, wherever she went. "Green as sin." She had often wondered, 'why green?' If she were to pick a color for sin, it would have been black, or gray, or pink (well, that wasn't fair; she just hated pink). Green made her think of rolling hills and tall trees and bright, warm days outside. Green brought her solitude and comfort.
On day, she couldn't stand it anymore.
"Nanny, have you seen sin?"
"Oh, sweet Lurline, child, yes! Yes, Nanny's had her fair share of sin. Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering. How it looked, you know."
"Well, I'm not sure I can describe it. Sometimes...child, what IS it?"
"I was just...was it green?"
Nanny's heart nearly broke as she looked down at the young child, searching for an answer, the right answer, any answer. Finally, she just settled for, "No, child. Not green." She could tell the child wasn't completely satisfied, but before she could say anything else, a loud wail echoed through the house.
"Oh, Nessarose! Nanny's coming, baby, Nanny's coming!"
Little Elphaba watched as Nanny rushed over to the crib and took the baby in her arms. Nessa wasn't green. Nessa was beautiful, all pale and pink like a baby should be. But Elphaba had also noticed that she was always sad. She had told Nanny so once, but the old lady had just laughed her concerns away. "She's just a small baby, too young to be sad!" Elphaba had insisted, however, and Nanny replied, "Well, I suppose having no arms is a bit much for her. Wouldn't you be sad if you had no arms?" Elphaba had nodded like she had been expected to. She didn't tell Nanny that she would give up her arms, and maybe even her legs, for people to look at her the way they did Nessa.
The child quickly quieted in Nanny's strong arms, and she began to croon a soft lullaby. Knowing the conversation had been forgotten, Elphaba turned away.
She wandered through the rolling meadows, past her favorite spots, and down along the bank. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice the water until it was too late. Instead, she stopped abruptly, the familiar fear and helplessness rising at the sight of it. She hated water, hated how it kept one more boundary between her and everyone else, as if her skin wasn't enough. She remembered the first time her mother had tried to bathe her, and how she was sick and weak for days.
She wanted to kick something, to scream, to throw herself down on the soft earth and sob. She hated her life, she hated it! She was tired of being "strong" for Nessa, tired of the pitiful looks her father gave her, tired of her classmates pointing and laughing and whispering as she walked by. She just wanted...she didn't know what she wanted, but it wasn't this.
She didn't know how long she stayed there, just staring at the water, lost in her own thoughts. It began to grow dark, but still she didn't move. She was still in the same exact position when Nanny found her.
"Child, there you are! You had me worried senseless! Come on now, supper's waiting, and you're going to catch your death out here! Honestly, what in Oz possessed you? You would think..."
Nanny's tirade trailed off as Elphaba turned to face her. The look in her eyes was so intense, so deep, and so pained that Nanny was afraid of the child. And suddenly she remembered the prophesy before Nessa's birth, when she had been looking for a quick way to calm Melena's nerves. What would this child--whom she loved dearly, despite her outward appearance-- become? Finally, Nanny snapped out of her reverie.
"Come on then, lets get on home." Nanny held out her hand to her, the small green girl accepted it and began to follow her back the way she came. She always felt safe with Nanny, and knew that she would always take care of her. And at this thought, Elphaba did something she rarely did, even at such a young age.
She smiled.
Of course, she always heard it as a child, wherever she went. "Green as sin." She had often wondered, 'why green?' If she were to pick a color for sin, it would have been black, or gray, or pink (well, that wasn't fair; she just hated pink). Green made her think of rolling hills and tall trees and bright, warm days outside. Green brought her solitude and comfort.
On day, she couldn't stand it anymore.
"Nanny, have you seen sin?"
"Oh, sweet Lurline, child, yes! Yes, Nanny's had her fair share of sin. Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering. How it looked, you know."
"Well, I'm not sure I can describe it. Sometimes...child, what IS it?"
"I was just...was it green?"
Nanny's heart nearly broke as she looked down at the young child, searching for an answer, the right answer, any answer. Finally, she just settled for, "No, child. Not green." She could tell the child wasn't completely satisfied, but before she could say anything else, a loud wail echoed through the house.
"Oh, Nessarose! Nanny's coming, baby, Nanny's coming!"
Little Elphaba watched as Nanny rushed over to the crib and took the baby in her arms. Nessa wasn't green. Nessa was beautiful, all pale and pink like a baby should be. But Elphaba had also noticed that she was always sad. She had told Nanny so once, but the old lady had just laughed her concerns away. "She's just a small baby, too young to be sad!" Elphaba had insisted, however, and Nanny replied, "Well, I suppose having no arms is a bit much for her. Wouldn't you be sad if you had no arms?" Elphaba had nodded like she had been expected to. She didn't tell Nanny that she would give up her arms, and maybe even her legs, for people to look at her the way they did Nessa.
The child quickly quieted in Nanny's strong arms, and she began to croon a soft lullaby. Knowing the conversation had been forgotten, Elphaba turned away.
She wandered through the rolling meadows, past her favorite spots, and down along the bank. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice the water until it was too late. Instead, she stopped abruptly, the familiar fear and helplessness rising at the sight of it. She hated water, hated how it kept one more boundary between her and everyone else, as if her skin wasn't enough. She remembered the first time her mother had tried to bathe her, and how she was sick and weak for days.
She wanted to kick something, to scream, to throw herself down on the soft earth and sob. She hated her life, she hated it! She was tired of being "strong" for Nessa, tired of the pitiful looks her father gave her, tired of her classmates pointing and laughing and whispering as she walked by. She just wanted...she didn't know what she wanted, but it wasn't this.
She didn't know how long she stayed there, just staring at the water, lost in her own thoughts. It began to grow dark, but still she didn't move. She was still in the same exact position when Nanny found her.
"Child, there you are! You had me worried senseless! Come on now, supper's waiting, and you're going to catch your death out here! Honestly, what in Oz possessed you? You would think..."
Nanny's tirade trailed off as Elphaba turned to face her. The look in her eyes was so intense, so deep, and so pained that Nanny was afraid of the child. And suddenly she remembered the prophesy before Nessa's birth, when she had been looking for a quick way to calm Melena's nerves. What would this child--whom she loved dearly, despite her outward appearance-- become? Finally, Nanny snapped out of her reverie.
"Come on then, lets get on home." Nanny held out her hand to her, the small green girl accepted it and began to follow her back the way she came. She always felt safe with Nanny, and knew that she would always take care of her. And at this thought, Elphaba did something she rarely did, even at such a young age.
She smiled.