Chapter Two
Two Months Later
Topanga
"Honey, do you want some water, even?"
Just the thought of putting anything into my mouth made my stomach roil. I tried valiantly to fight it, but ended up dashing to the bathroom. It was where I spent most of my time nowadays. I was so glad that school was out for the year, because I would never make it through a class without running out to a toilet.
When I walked out of the bathroom, Cory was sitting on the couch. He deliberately was not looking at me. His concern carried over to the point that he would sometimes get sick if I was. What had started out as morning sickness was turning into something more. I just didn't know what. I made an appointment with my new OB/gyn, Dr Hastings, to ask what the problem was. Cory and I also had our first appointment with the social worker, Stella Runyon, this afternoon. If I was still not feeling well, though, I was going to reschedule.
I sat down on the couch and put my head on Cory's lap. "I'm sorry, baby," I said. "You've been so good to me."
His face looked down at mine. "Really truly?"
"Really truly."
We sat there, watching television. I drifted off as again, I tried to think about how the baby would look. For some reason, I was having a hard time picturing the baby as real. I figured that once I felt the baby kick, or I started to show, I would actually feel like a mother-to-be, instead of someone with a 4- month flu.
I did feel better before we left, although I still didn't want to eat. Car rides made me even more nauseous than usual. In the office, we sat as the woman, Ms Runyon, told us about programs that might be able to help us with financial aid, daycare when we were ready for school, and even places that could help us get a bigger apartment after the baby was born. Then she asked, "Have either of you thought about the impact this is going to make on your life? You have both stated that this is an unexpected pregnancy. There are other choices open to you."
Cory took my hand as I said warily, "Our clinic doctor told me about... adoption. How there are people that want children that can't have them."
"That's true. So many infertile couples out there would even cover hospital costs and travelling expenses."
"We have insurance," Cory said. "I'm covered as a dependent on my dad's policy."
"That's well and good, but you're not just not going to pay before the baby's born. You are both still in school. Cory, you're working now, but what about when school starts? You can't both go to school full time and still hold a full-time job, unless you can go without sleep and study time. Topanga, you'll either have to drop out and stay home with the baby or pay for daycare. All I'm saying is that you consider your options. Look, here's some brochures that can give you some more information. Talk this out. We'll set up another appointment and see what happens."
We agreed and walked out of the building into the warm July sunshine. Usually, July is a sticky month here, but the humidity was down. I was just glad I wouldn't reach the heavily pregnant stage until the fall. As we got into the car to drive to Dr Hasting's office, I said timidly, "What do you think about what Ms Runyon said?"
Cory turned the ignition. "Don't worry about it. She's just fatalistic. We'll be fine." He patted my hand as we rode to the OB/gyn's.
As we walked into the office, the nurse called my name. When we went into the exam room, Dr Hastings was sitting on the stool. "Well, Topanga, I hear that your morning sickness is more like morning, noon and night sickness."
I described my symptoms to her. I watched her face become more grave. When I finished, she told me, "It sounds like you have a very severe form of morning sickness. The danger is that you- and the baby- could become dehdyrated. What I'm going to do, is admit you..."
"To the hospital?" I interrupted.
"Yes. What we'll do is give you an intravenous drip of glucose water to rehydrate you and give you some nourishment. We'll also add some anti-nausea medication. Once we can get you to eat regularly, you can come home."
"All right, I guess. Couldn't I just take the medication and stay at home?" I asked hopefully. "No, because the medicine is also administered by IV. Do you have any questions? No? Well, then go ahead straight to County General."
"Right now?" Cory asked. His voice sounded calm, but I knew that he was very worried inside.
"The sooner we get started, the better for Topanga and the baby. It's a wonder that she didn't pass out long before she got here today."
"We'll leave now," Cory said. He took my arm and walked me like I was 94 years old.
"Cory. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated."
"I'm making sure. I couldn't help with the dehydration..."
"It's not your fault! How did either of us know? Look, we can discuss this later. We'll go to the hospital, they'll make me well, and I'll come home."
"Okay," Cory said. He didn't look convinced.
We pulled into the emergency room parking lot. Cory came around and opened my door. A nurse was waiting with a wheelchair. Surprised, I sat down as she reasurred me, "This is just a precaution. Your doctor called ahead and your room is waiting. Cory, you might want to run home and pack up a few things that you think Topanga will need. She'll be here when you get back."
After we got to the semi-private room, I slipped into the usual backless hospital gown and laid on the bed. Cory gave me a last worried glance before he left. Dr Hastings came in with another doctor behind her. "Topanga, this is Dr Handey. He will be taking care of you during your stay here. We're going to start the IV now."
After the drip was started, the two doctors left me alone to rest. I closed my eyes, grateful that no one was in the other bed at the moment. Then my eyes shot back open as I realized that this would be the first time that Cory and I would spend the night alone since our marriage. Not for the first time, I regretted the changes that the baby had brought in our lives. I reached for my purse and pulled out the brochures that Ms Runyon had given us. On the front of one, there was a picture of a baby with two sets of people. The caption read, "Open Adoption". Intriged, I started reading. The brochure said basically that open adoption was when someone else raised your child but that you could still visit, receive letters, videos, and phone calls. It was supposedly a less traumatic way to give up a child, knowing that you could see how they were doing. The other brochures talked about other forms of adoptions. The idea of giving the baby up still sounded kind of foreign, but I still resolved to talk to Cory about it in detail.
Angela
Shawn and I were walking around town. School was due to start next month, and we were discussing our majors. "Okay. I've finally decided. My major is... education." Shawn said proudly.
I almost spit out the capuccino granita I was eating. "What? How do you figure?"
"Most of the people who've helped me the most have been teachers. Jonathan let me live with him. Feeny's been there for me as long as I can remember." He stated this simply. "The best way I can think of to pay them back is to become a teacher and help kids too."
"Okay, can't argue with that logic. I think I would... oh heck, I still don't know what I want to do! Every time I think I've decided on something, I find something else that sounds good. I'm going into my junior year in college still with an undecided major!" I wailed.
"Look at Eric. He's graduating, and he's no closer to knowing what he wants to do than when he entered." Shawn pointed out practically.
"Great example," I said sarcastically. "I'm being compared to Eric, now."
"That's not as bad as it used to be. Since he started seeing Tory, he's really grown into a different person."
"True. I'm actually looking foward to seeing everyone at Pennbrooke. How's Jack been doing? I haven't heard from him or Rachel since May."
"Jack's fine. He's with his mom. I haven't heard from Rachel, either."
"Oh." We continued walking. Two kids were running down the block, playing tag. They looked to be around seven, and I stared at them until they ran around the corner. Shawn gave me a quizzical glance.
"I was thinking about Cory and Topanga. They have the whole family thing going."
"Yeah. We should stop in and see them."
"Why don't we call first? See if they're home and all."
We picked up my car and found a phone. Shawn dialed and waited. Then his face broke into a grin. "Hey, Cor," he said happily. "Yeah, we were just calling to... what? Oh, God. When? No, we'll meet you there." Shawn hung up the phone. His face was dead serious. "We have to get to County General. Topanga is in the hospital."
"Really guys, I'm fine! They just want to make sure that I won't get dehydrated!" Topanga protested. I wasn't too sure. Topanga looked pale, and she had lost at least ten pounds since I had seen her last month. She lay limply on the bed, and a bag full of a clear fluid was attached to her.
"Oh, honey," I breathed. "How long have you been feeling bad?"
"Not long. I really just stopped being able to hold anything down- not even water- last week." Shawn turned a dramatic shade of green. "Oops. Sorry, Shawn."
"Shawny, why don't we walk somewhere not here," Cory suggested. They left and I pulled up a chair next to the bed.
"So, tell me what's been going on."
"Nothing much. We talked to the social worker, they said that there are some programs that could help us out. I feel kinda bad needing assistance, knowing that there are people a lot worse off than Cory and I. I mean, everyone's helping out... I just feel weird, you know?"
I nodded. "Are they trying to find you a better apartment?"
"Mr Matthews is letting Cory work full time at the store to build up some savings, and they said that they would co-sign for an apartment, but not a house."
"Sounds like you are getting everything together," I mused.
"We're trying," she said dispiritedly. She closed her eyes. "Actually, Angela, I'm feeling a little sleepy. Do you mind..."
I stood up and put the chair back where it belonged, then lifted the covers over her. "Not at all, you just try and get some rest. See you later."
She didn't answer. Her deep breathing indicated that she was already asleep. I closed her door and went off to find Cory and Shawn. As I suspected, they were in the cafeteria, eating ice-cream. I sat down, commenting, "I see you're feeling better, Shawn."
"Yep. Chocolate sprinkles have restorative powers." As to illistrate the point, he took a big bite of the ice-cream.
"Topanga okay?" Cory asked.
"She's just resting. Do you guys need anything? Cory, you're welcome to come to my house for dinner," I offered.
"Um, I'll take a raincheck on that. I was planning to stay here until visiting hours are over, then stopping somewhere to eat. It'll be, like, 10pm before I leave here."
"Just stop by. I'll save you a plate."
Cory walked us to my car. "Look guys, I honestly appreciate this."
"Anytime, Cor," Shawn said. They hugged, and then Cory turned to me. We hugged briefly,and I got in the car. "Remember, dinner tonight. Don't forget!"
We drove to Shawn's apartment. "Will you come to dinner tonight? I'll fix spaghetti."
"Love to. Eight?"
"Sure." We kissed before he got out of the car.
I drove to the store to pick up some supplies for dinner. When I got home, I checked my mail. In addition to the usual bills and junk, there was a buff envelope with my full name. It had been fowarded to me from one of my previous addresses when my dad had been stationed in the States. I turned over the weighty package. On the back was a sticker of lipsticked lips. I set it down on the coffee table to read later. I went ahead and fixed spaghetti with meat sauce with garlic bread. I was finishing the table when the doorbell rang.
Shawn was standing there with Cory, Eric and Tory. They all were laughing at some joke that Eric had told to them. We exchanged hello's and I apologized for not having enough food, which was a joke because I don't know how to cook in small quantities. After we had pigged out, we sat back and talked about our different majors.
"I plan to be a florist," Tory announced. "I really like helping things grow."
As she talked, I studied her. Tory didn't seem at all Eric's type to me. Aside from her hippie exterior, she was obviously very smart and I didn't see what they would find to talk about. I felt though, that her sense of playfulness and humor did balance Eric's nicely.
We talked until it was after midnight. Cory begged off, saying that he had to work early. Eric and Tory left soon after. Shawn and I popped in an old movie and snuggled on the couch.
"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" Shawn asked, nuzzling my neck.
"Something stupid. I have to talk to my Student Advisor to tell her that I don't have a clue of what to do with my life. You?"
"Setting up work-study for the new school year."
"Wanna go see Topanga after our appointments?"
"Sure. Call me after you're ready."
"Deal." We watched the movie in silence. Shawn started playing with the braids in my hair. He kissed me and we entangled slowly and stretched out on the couch. As we grew more passionate, Shawn's leg kicked my coffee table, spilling a water candle centerpiece.
"I'm sorry! Here, let me help you clean up." He grabbed some towels and mopped up the water. Some of it had spilled onto my mail. I was about to toss the sodden pieces when Shawn picked up the buff envelope.
"This didn't get as wet. You should be able to iron this and your bills dry. Sadly, the junk mail is dead." I laughed nervously as Shawn turned over the package. "Feels heavy. People sending you books now?"
"No, I'm sure it's probably just... I don't know. I'll find out later."
"Let's open it!"
"No!" Realizing I sounded really defensive, I gave a weak chuckle and said, "It's just some junk. Look, it's getting kinda late. Do you want me to take you home?"
"Can't I stay over?" Shawn mock-pouted.
"You'll never buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Do you need a ride?"
"Sure."
When I arrived back home, I took the envelope and put it in my treasure trunk with the other ones. I sighed as I thought of Shawn- or anyone else- ever finding out what they contained.
Two Months Later
Topanga
"Honey, do you want some water, even?"
Just the thought of putting anything into my mouth made my stomach roil. I tried valiantly to fight it, but ended up dashing to the bathroom. It was where I spent most of my time nowadays. I was so glad that school was out for the year, because I would never make it through a class without running out to a toilet.
When I walked out of the bathroom, Cory was sitting on the couch. He deliberately was not looking at me. His concern carried over to the point that he would sometimes get sick if I was. What had started out as morning sickness was turning into something more. I just didn't know what. I made an appointment with my new OB/gyn, Dr Hastings, to ask what the problem was. Cory and I also had our first appointment with the social worker, Stella Runyon, this afternoon. If I was still not feeling well, though, I was going to reschedule.
I sat down on the couch and put my head on Cory's lap. "I'm sorry, baby," I said. "You've been so good to me."
His face looked down at mine. "Really truly?"
"Really truly."
We sat there, watching television. I drifted off as again, I tried to think about how the baby would look. For some reason, I was having a hard time picturing the baby as real. I figured that once I felt the baby kick, or I started to show, I would actually feel like a mother-to-be, instead of someone with a 4- month flu.
I did feel better before we left, although I still didn't want to eat. Car rides made me even more nauseous than usual. In the office, we sat as the woman, Ms Runyon, told us about programs that might be able to help us with financial aid, daycare when we were ready for school, and even places that could help us get a bigger apartment after the baby was born. Then she asked, "Have either of you thought about the impact this is going to make on your life? You have both stated that this is an unexpected pregnancy. There are other choices open to you."
Cory took my hand as I said warily, "Our clinic doctor told me about... adoption. How there are people that want children that can't have them."
"That's true. So many infertile couples out there would even cover hospital costs and travelling expenses."
"We have insurance," Cory said. "I'm covered as a dependent on my dad's policy."
"That's well and good, but you're not just not going to pay before the baby's born. You are both still in school. Cory, you're working now, but what about when school starts? You can't both go to school full time and still hold a full-time job, unless you can go without sleep and study time. Topanga, you'll either have to drop out and stay home with the baby or pay for daycare. All I'm saying is that you consider your options. Look, here's some brochures that can give you some more information. Talk this out. We'll set up another appointment and see what happens."
We agreed and walked out of the building into the warm July sunshine. Usually, July is a sticky month here, but the humidity was down. I was just glad I wouldn't reach the heavily pregnant stage until the fall. As we got into the car to drive to Dr Hasting's office, I said timidly, "What do you think about what Ms Runyon said?"
Cory turned the ignition. "Don't worry about it. She's just fatalistic. We'll be fine." He patted my hand as we rode to the OB/gyn's.
As we walked into the office, the nurse called my name. When we went into the exam room, Dr Hastings was sitting on the stool. "Well, Topanga, I hear that your morning sickness is more like morning, noon and night sickness."
I described my symptoms to her. I watched her face become more grave. When I finished, she told me, "It sounds like you have a very severe form of morning sickness. The danger is that you- and the baby- could become dehdyrated. What I'm going to do, is admit you..."
"To the hospital?" I interrupted.
"Yes. What we'll do is give you an intravenous drip of glucose water to rehydrate you and give you some nourishment. We'll also add some anti-nausea medication. Once we can get you to eat regularly, you can come home."
"All right, I guess. Couldn't I just take the medication and stay at home?" I asked hopefully. "No, because the medicine is also administered by IV. Do you have any questions? No? Well, then go ahead straight to County General."
"Right now?" Cory asked. His voice sounded calm, but I knew that he was very worried inside.
"The sooner we get started, the better for Topanga and the baby. It's a wonder that she didn't pass out long before she got here today."
"We'll leave now," Cory said. He took my arm and walked me like I was 94 years old.
"Cory. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated."
"I'm making sure. I couldn't help with the dehydration..."
"It's not your fault! How did either of us know? Look, we can discuss this later. We'll go to the hospital, they'll make me well, and I'll come home."
"Okay," Cory said. He didn't look convinced.
We pulled into the emergency room parking lot. Cory came around and opened my door. A nurse was waiting with a wheelchair. Surprised, I sat down as she reasurred me, "This is just a precaution. Your doctor called ahead and your room is waiting. Cory, you might want to run home and pack up a few things that you think Topanga will need. She'll be here when you get back."
After we got to the semi-private room, I slipped into the usual backless hospital gown and laid on the bed. Cory gave me a last worried glance before he left. Dr Hastings came in with another doctor behind her. "Topanga, this is Dr Handey. He will be taking care of you during your stay here. We're going to start the IV now."
After the drip was started, the two doctors left me alone to rest. I closed my eyes, grateful that no one was in the other bed at the moment. Then my eyes shot back open as I realized that this would be the first time that Cory and I would spend the night alone since our marriage. Not for the first time, I regretted the changes that the baby had brought in our lives. I reached for my purse and pulled out the brochures that Ms Runyon had given us. On the front of one, there was a picture of a baby with two sets of people. The caption read, "Open Adoption". Intriged, I started reading. The brochure said basically that open adoption was when someone else raised your child but that you could still visit, receive letters, videos, and phone calls. It was supposedly a less traumatic way to give up a child, knowing that you could see how they were doing. The other brochures talked about other forms of adoptions. The idea of giving the baby up still sounded kind of foreign, but I still resolved to talk to Cory about it in detail.
Angela
Shawn and I were walking around town. School was due to start next month, and we were discussing our majors. "Okay. I've finally decided. My major is... education." Shawn said proudly.
I almost spit out the capuccino granita I was eating. "What? How do you figure?"
"Most of the people who've helped me the most have been teachers. Jonathan let me live with him. Feeny's been there for me as long as I can remember." He stated this simply. "The best way I can think of to pay them back is to become a teacher and help kids too."
"Okay, can't argue with that logic. I think I would... oh heck, I still don't know what I want to do! Every time I think I've decided on something, I find something else that sounds good. I'm going into my junior year in college still with an undecided major!" I wailed.
"Look at Eric. He's graduating, and he's no closer to knowing what he wants to do than when he entered." Shawn pointed out practically.
"Great example," I said sarcastically. "I'm being compared to Eric, now."
"That's not as bad as it used to be. Since he started seeing Tory, he's really grown into a different person."
"True. I'm actually looking foward to seeing everyone at Pennbrooke. How's Jack been doing? I haven't heard from him or Rachel since May."
"Jack's fine. He's with his mom. I haven't heard from Rachel, either."
"Oh." We continued walking. Two kids were running down the block, playing tag. They looked to be around seven, and I stared at them until they ran around the corner. Shawn gave me a quizzical glance.
"I was thinking about Cory and Topanga. They have the whole family thing going."
"Yeah. We should stop in and see them."
"Why don't we call first? See if they're home and all."
We picked up my car and found a phone. Shawn dialed and waited. Then his face broke into a grin. "Hey, Cor," he said happily. "Yeah, we were just calling to... what? Oh, God. When? No, we'll meet you there." Shawn hung up the phone. His face was dead serious. "We have to get to County General. Topanga is in the hospital."
"Really guys, I'm fine! They just want to make sure that I won't get dehydrated!" Topanga protested. I wasn't too sure. Topanga looked pale, and she had lost at least ten pounds since I had seen her last month. She lay limply on the bed, and a bag full of a clear fluid was attached to her.
"Oh, honey," I breathed. "How long have you been feeling bad?"
"Not long. I really just stopped being able to hold anything down- not even water- last week." Shawn turned a dramatic shade of green. "Oops. Sorry, Shawn."
"Shawny, why don't we walk somewhere not here," Cory suggested. They left and I pulled up a chair next to the bed.
"So, tell me what's been going on."
"Nothing much. We talked to the social worker, they said that there are some programs that could help us out. I feel kinda bad needing assistance, knowing that there are people a lot worse off than Cory and I. I mean, everyone's helping out... I just feel weird, you know?"
I nodded. "Are they trying to find you a better apartment?"
"Mr Matthews is letting Cory work full time at the store to build up some savings, and they said that they would co-sign for an apartment, but not a house."
"Sounds like you are getting everything together," I mused.
"We're trying," she said dispiritedly. She closed her eyes. "Actually, Angela, I'm feeling a little sleepy. Do you mind..."
I stood up and put the chair back where it belonged, then lifted the covers over her. "Not at all, you just try and get some rest. See you later."
She didn't answer. Her deep breathing indicated that she was already asleep. I closed her door and went off to find Cory and Shawn. As I suspected, they were in the cafeteria, eating ice-cream. I sat down, commenting, "I see you're feeling better, Shawn."
"Yep. Chocolate sprinkles have restorative powers." As to illistrate the point, he took a big bite of the ice-cream.
"Topanga okay?" Cory asked.
"She's just resting. Do you guys need anything? Cory, you're welcome to come to my house for dinner," I offered.
"Um, I'll take a raincheck on that. I was planning to stay here until visiting hours are over, then stopping somewhere to eat. It'll be, like, 10pm before I leave here."
"Just stop by. I'll save you a plate."
Cory walked us to my car. "Look guys, I honestly appreciate this."
"Anytime, Cor," Shawn said. They hugged, and then Cory turned to me. We hugged briefly,and I got in the car. "Remember, dinner tonight. Don't forget!"
We drove to Shawn's apartment. "Will you come to dinner tonight? I'll fix spaghetti."
"Love to. Eight?"
"Sure." We kissed before he got out of the car.
I drove to the store to pick up some supplies for dinner. When I got home, I checked my mail. In addition to the usual bills and junk, there was a buff envelope with my full name. It had been fowarded to me from one of my previous addresses when my dad had been stationed in the States. I turned over the weighty package. On the back was a sticker of lipsticked lips. I set it down on the coffee table to read later. I went ahead and fixed spaghetti with meat sauce with garlic bread. I was finishing the table when the doorbell rang.
Shawn was standing there with Cory, Eric and Tory. They all were laughing at some joke that Eric had told to them. We exchanged hello's and I apologized for not having enough food, which was a joke because I don't know how to cook in small quantities. After we had pigged out, we sat back and talked about our different majors.
"I plan to be a florist," Tory announced. "I really like helping things grow."
As she talked, I studied her. Tory didn't seem at all Eric's type to me. Aside from her hippie exterior, she was obviously very smart and I didn't see what they would find to talk about. I felt though, that her sense of playfulness and humor did balance Eric's nicely.
We talked until it was after midnight. Cory begged off, saying that he had to work early. Eric and Tory left soon after. Shawn and I popped in an old movie and snuggled on the couch.
"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" Shawn asked, nuzzling my neck.
"Something stupid. I have to talk to my Student Advisor to tell her that I don't have a clue of what to do with my life. You?"
"Setting up work-study for the new school year."
"Wanna go see Topanga after our appointments?"
"Sure. Call me after you're ready."
"Deal." We watched the movie in silence. Shawn started playing with the braids in my hair. He kissed me and we entangled slowly and stretched out on the couch. As we grew more passionate, Shawn's leg kicked my coffee table, spilling a water candle centerpiece.
"I'm sorry! Here, let me help you clean up." He grabbed some towels and mopped up the water. Some of it had spilled onto my mail. I was about to toss the sodden pieces when Shawn picked up the buff envelope.
"This didn't get as wet. You should be able to iron this and your bills dry. Sadly, the junk mail is dead." I laughed nervously as Shawn turned over the package. "Feels heavy. People sending you books now?"
"No, I'm sure it's probably just... I don't know. I'll find out later."
"Let's open it!"
"No!" Realizing I sounded really defensive, I gave a weak chuckle and said, "It's just some junk. Look, it's getting kinda late. Do you want me to take you home?"
"Can't I stay over?" Shawn mock-pouted.
"You'll never buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Do you need a ride?"
"Sure."
When I arrived back home, I took the envelope and put it in my treasure trunk with the other ones. I sighed as I thought of Shawn- or anyone else- ever finding out what they contained.