*~Cinderella~*
~*Chapter Four*~

Summary: **rewritten** A parody Cinderella story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the Cinderella story, or anything in this except the idea, and Pansy's middle name Also, I don't own the line I paraphrased in this chapter from Ever After. An invisible, nonexistent chicken goes out to whomever can tell me what line it is.

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait.

Also, because of FFN's new policy, I have, as you may have noticed, changed my penname. I'm not sure if I like the one I have now, so it may change when I can think up something better, but I wasn't going to be "Emmy2" any longer than I had to. On FPN I'm still Emmy, though, which doesn't really make sense to me, but that's OK.

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When the night of the Ball came, everyone was excited. Even Pansy was thrilled. She was hoping she would be able to sneak Jack in so she could destroy something really expensive and/or important: a table, a chair, a portrait, or maybe even the royal throne. She got excited just thinking about it.

Penelope, on the other hand, was worried. Pansy was obviously going to try to break something or try to win the heart of the prince or even both. No! Penelope thought to herself. I cannot let that happen! I have to do something! Hmmm... What should I do to keep her here? Yes! I've got it! I'll just lock her in her room! Brilliant idea! Pure genius! Yes, I will be remembered in history as the woman who locked a door!

Penelope climbed down to Pansy's room (it was in the basement) and pounded on the door three times. Before Pansy could even respond, she barged in.

"Here's the deal—"

"Nice dress," Pansy sneered. Penelope was wearing wine-red dress robes with rather large lime-green puffballs in various places.

"Shut up!" Penelope snapped. "I have not given you permission to speak! Anyway, like I was saying, here's the deal—actually, it's more of a command, but who really cares? I certainly don't. Anyway, knowing you, you will either try to destroy something expensive that I will end up having to pay for or you will try to win the heart of the prince—which is what I am planning to do."

"Oh, please," Pansy responded in pure disgust. "I wouldn't marry that royal idiot if you paid me!"

"It doesn't matter; you're not going to leave this room no matter what."

"Who says?"

"Me!" Penelope yelled as she slammed the door shut and put a Locking Charm on it.

"It takes more than a locked door to stop Pansy Ushi Parkinson!" Pansy said. "I'll just wait 'til they're gone..." she muttered to herself as she looked out the window. "Yes! They're gone!" She took out Jack and started hacking away at the door. "NO! The door's made of steel on the inside! If only I had Jill with me!" Pansy started to cry. "Now I'll never be able to destroy anything incredibly expensive in the palace that Penelope will end up paying for!" she exclaimed between sobs.

Just then, a not-so-little fairy-like girl, wearing a not-so-tiny hot pink dress trimmed in white lace with matching, shiny hot pink high-heeled shoes held together by Velcro flew through the window on a broomstick. She was carrying a bright pink plastic wand that had a glowing, yellow star on top.

"Don't cry, Pansy. I'll help you get to the Ball," the fairy told her gently.

Great, just what I need in my life: another moron, Pansy thought bitterly. "How's a freakish, little fairy like you going to help me?"

"I'm Millicent, but you can call me Mill. And, actually, I'm not just a fairy. I'm your Fairy-God-Elf-Mother," Mill explained cheerily.

"Your title is 'Fairy-God-Elf-Mother'?" Pansy asked skeptically. That's a stupid title.

"I made it up myself."

No surprise there, Pansy thought.

"Some—most—well, actually, all of the people at the Fairy Godmother Agency thought I was a tad bit—er—crazy, stupid, and moronic. But, I'm not any of those things: I'm half fairy, half elf, and half Godmother," she explained. "Now, do you want to go to the Ball or not?"

Great! Just great! Of all the Fairy Godmothers in the world, I have to get the imbecile with even less fashion sense than Penelope! Pansy thought as she glared at the oblivious Mill. Well, I've got to get to the Ball somehow and there's no other way. "Fine, do your magic junk. And hurry up!"

"Ok. I'll need a carrot stick, four cats, three feet of foil, and a blade of grass," Mill informed her.

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Good." Mill took her plastic wand and blew a hole in wall so they could get out (she wasn't very good at aiming), and Pansy went to get the needed items.

When Pansy found all of the required materials, she found Millicent in the garden in the back of the house. "Ok. Here's the stuff. Now, do your magic."

Mill raised her hands in the air and said, "I call upon the power of Velcro! Give me luck in the magic I'm about to do, and please, PLEASE don't let me screw up too badly this time!"

After this, Pansy started to back away slowly. "Wait!" Mill yelled after her. "Come back! I haven't done my magic yet!" Mill ran over to where Pansy was, brought her back, and started doing her "magic."

Mill put all the items in a pile. "Velcro, Velcro, Velcro, Velcro, VELCRO, VELCRO, VELCRO!" she chanted, raising her voice louder after each word. Nothing happened. "VELCRO, VELCRO, VELCRO, VELCRO, VELCRO, VELCRO!" Still, nothing happened. "Heh, heh… Ah… Ummm… Sometimes my magic…doesn't work…?"

"No kidding!" she yelled sarcastically.

"I had a feeling this would happen. Good thing I packed this, just incase."

The Fairy-God-Elf-Mother took a big box out of her magically enhanced pocket filled with large hot pink pieces of metal and several, long strips of…Velcro?

"What are those for?" Pansy asked, indicating the metal pieces and strips of Velcro.

"It's a do-it-yourself carriage-making kit. Now, you just put the pieces together like so and..." She put the carriage together at an alarmingly fast pace. "...presto! You've got yourself your very own carriage made of hot pink metal and Velcro, in the shape of a carrot!"

Please let this be some sort of deranged dream! Pansy thought as she pinched herself. Ow! So much for the dream theory. Oh, well. I might as well make the best of things.

"What about horses?"

"Oh, um…" She looked around. "Look, over there." Mill pointed to a fenced-in field with several horses. "See? There's a ranch full of horses. We'll just take four horses and—"

"That's the neighbor's ranch, no wit." Pansy sighed. "Oh, well. We can just steal some and put them back tomorrow, before anyone notices. I don't care if it's against the law."

"Wait. I don't think I'm supposed to—"

"LOOK! Your job is to get me to the Ball! I don't care if we have to break a couple of laws to get there. Just. Get. Me. To. The. BALL!" she screamed at Mill.

"Ok! Go get the horses; I'll hitch them up." Mill really didn't want to do this but humored her anyway because the people at the Fairy-Godmother Agency had warned her that Pansy could get very violent at times. If Mill had been a brighter person, she might have suspected that this was the reason the Head Godmother assigned her to Pansy. But, alas, she was not, so she suspected nothing.

Pansy retrieved the horses and Mill hitched them to the carriage. When Pansy got in the carriage, Mill was about to drive away (she decided to be the driver) when Pansy discovered a problem.

"Wait! What about my clothes? I can't go looking like this! I'll be stared at more than Penelope!" Pansy was wearing a several-year-old, frayed dress covered in dirt, food stains, and other things better left unidentified. It only went to her knees. It use to go halfway to her ankles, but she grew.

"Oh, yes. I forgot." Mill pulled out from the box a hot pink leather dress, trimmed in hot pink feathers. Pansy hoped she was done, but there was more: a pair of 4-inch-heeled shoes, elbow-length silk gloves, and a bunch of cheap, plastic, costume jewelry, all of which were hot pink.

"Someone just kill me now," Pansy muttered softly enough so Mill couldn't hear, but loud enough that guy walking down the road behind her could. It was Harry The-Human-Turnip, on his way to the Ball.

"Well, if you really want me to…" Harry The-Human-Turnip said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at her. "Avada—"

"I was just kidding. I wasn't being serious," she said quickly.

"Oh. Ok," he said and continued walking.

Pansy looked at the attire and almost gagged. It wasn't just fact that it was pink. Oh, no! It was also the fact that everything held together with Velcro! The shoes, the dress, even the gloves! Sure, the plastic jewelry didn't Velcro together, but they had little strips of Velcro hanging from them!

After seeing the clothes she was supposed to wear, all Pansy wanted to do was yell as loud as humanly possible, "VELCRO SUCKS!" However, she refrained from doing so; she was too desperate to get to the Ball.

"This is my favorite outfit," Mill told her. "I designed it myself."

It shows.

"You can borrow it, but you must have it back by eleven o' clock. That's an hour before the Ball ends."

"Why?"

"I need it tomorrow, so I need time to get it washed."

"Oh."

"Now, you go change and then I can do your hair to look just like mine."

Pansy took one look at Mill's hair and said, "No! I mean—that's ok. My hair's fine the way it is. Besides, we're late enough already."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, it does take an awful lot of time to get my hair this perfect using only hair-spray and old credit cards."

Er—right.

Pansy changed into the clothes and put on everything Mill gave her, except the gloves—they were too small.

"Well, I feel like a moron," Pansy stated in disgust. "At least it's getting darker."

"Oh, let me look at you! You look beautiful! You remind me of me!"

Oh, yay. Just what I always wanted, she thought sarcastically.

"But why aren't you wearing the gloves?"

"They're too small."

"Then you'll just have to wear these." Millicent pulled out a rather large pair of—you guessed it—hot pink, elbow-length gloves. They were covered with pink Velcro on the outside and, for some deranged reason, faux rabbit fur on the inside.

"These'll keep your hands nice and warm."

"Great," she groaned sarcastically. "What else would go so well with a hot summer's night like this?"

Too stupid to notice the sarcasm, Mill replied, "I thought so."

Pansy put on the gloves and got into the stupid-looking carriage pulled by stolen horses. With a 'ya!' from Mill, they were off.

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"It takes more than a locked door to stop Pansy Ushi Parkinson!"

According to my Baby Name book, 'Ushi' means 'ox' in Chinese. Just thought you'd like to know that little tidbit of information.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry about the wait. We just got a new computer so I saved all my files on the Zip drive, but he had to install something before it would work, so I had to wait for him to install it. Then my dad locked me off the internet for not doing my summer reading, but he changed it to two hours a day because I have driver's education!

I just found out how to fix the formatting, too, so the Right and Center Align work now.

I'm thinking of starting a new story (after I finish rewriting this one, of course). I'm not sure yet, though. I'm also thinking about reposting the other story I wrote a while ago that FFN took down when they deleted the Harry Potter Author Fics section.

The next chapter will be up soon (hopefully)! But I may decide to replace the last chapter because the lack of Center and Align Right is bugging me.

Next Chapter: Pansy arrives at the Ball (obviously).

Wishing You Prosperity and Pizza,

~Queen Emmy of Monkeys~
(Formerly known as Emmy Weezer, and formerly more commonly known as Emmy.)

"Jim said bees wouldn't sting idiots; but I didn't believe that, because I had tried them lots of times myself, and they wouldn't sting me." —Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain