"We are going to go to Flourence Giotti's Robe Shoppe. They are Italian designers. The best." This was Lydia's opening statement to me at the breakfast table as she whisked in wearing a pink plaid schoolgirl skirt with a white blouse and her hair back in prim pink clips.
"Who, Flourence or Giotti?" I said after gulping down my bite of croissant. She paused, looking absolutely pain-stricken that she must try to explain things to me.
With an added dramatic sigh, she explained to the simpleton from America, me. "Flourence Giotti was the famed Italian designer. He established FG in 1540, it's all over the Wizard world," she explained quickly, glad to get that over with.
I nearly choked on my croissant. "1540? And this dude's styles are popular?" Lydia stared at me, her blue eyes piercing mine and her face slowly growing red. She huffed and spun on her pink bejeweled heel, clicking out of the room angrily. I was obviously a hopeless case in her eyes. This wasn't this first time I had been treated like a total idiot this morning, I angrily recalled as I gulped my milk. I had been awed by the nice meal set out for us this morning, and knowing it could certainly not be my evil aunt, I had innocently inquired after it. Aunt Peggy had given me a blank stare, and after an uncomfortable silence, she muttered "The house elves. Of course." Rather stiffly, then performed a "Lydia", spinning and clicking out of the room. Of course, why didn't I, the stupid 12-year old new American witch know that? I must really be an idiot!! I thought sarcastically. Clunking my empty milk glass down on the table, I stomped up the stairs to ready myself for the visit to this really cool dead designer's place. Ugh.
"You are wearing that?" Lydia spoke in a disgusted whisper, her eyebrow raised in it's infinite arch of disapproval. I had just come downstairs to the front hall to see her waiting for me, anticipating her chance to eye me with disapproval. I gave her a nasty look and pushed past her to the door. She was the last thing I needed to deal with right now. Besides, when was a tee and some cute jeans not okay? I sighed as I trudged down the gravel path to the car in the drizzles of morning rain. I took my spot in the car to wait for the whole charade to prance out. Aunt Peggy was last to make her appearance, coming out fully decked in a chinchilla fur lined suede coat and a black silk blouse.
"Now Lucky," she sniffed as she loaded into the sedan. "Seeing as you have not been to Diagon Alley before, it is absolutely necessary that you stay with Lydia or I during the whole trip." She said slowly, as if it was going to be super hard for me to understand all this. I rolled my eyes at the window and controlled my urge to jump out of the car and run through the torrents of rain that had suddenly begun to fall upon us this morning. Spend the whole day tagging along with the evil relatives? My dream. This was looking ever more depressing each second.
"Okay Aunt Peggy"
For some reason she seemed to find my response offensive, but fortunately did not decide to pursue it. Uncle Mitchell started up the car and we were off for Diagon Alley.
"Um...is this it?" I spoke warily. Uncle Mitchell had just parked the car next to an old, dilapidated bar with a sign reading "Leaky Cauldron". It really was in shambles. A cat hissed annoyingly as we passed it on the narrow, creaking stoop. Uncle Mitchell opened the door with more care than I have ever seen him use, probably scared that the whole termite-ridden thing would fall off under his grip. Against my better judgment, I giggled. Aunt Peggy shot me a dark look that probably could have shriveled the sun. I returned it and she gasped. As gratifying as that was, I knew I would have to pay for it later.
"This is not Diagon Alley," Lydia explained coldly, though I knew she was relishing my stupid questions. "This is Leaky Cauldron!"
Ohhh...as if that explained everything! I shook my head with frustration, wondering why we would even be at this old lousy bar and how it could ever connect with where we were supposed to be going.
"'Ello thar Mr. Keefer, Mr. Starkforth!" an old, wheezing bartender hailed us as we stepped in. Wait...had he recognized MY father? Mr. Keefer, he definitely had said it! Aunt Peggy seemed equally as surprised, yet my father just nodded and murmured a 'hello' back as if it was totally normal. I looked to him for an answer but it wasn't coming; he just was his normal, jolly self as we walked through the shifty bar.
"Jack Keefer! Long time, no see!" A sharp looking man in a purple (no kidding) business suit stood to shake hands with my father. He had a wide smile on his face. Whaa? What is going on here? I was in a whirlwind of confusion now. I glanced at my Aunt and Uncle, but their eyes were as wide as saucers and Aunt Peggy was grinning like an idiot. I looked back at this purple guy for an answer to...this. He grinned as he pumped my father's hand and moved onto Uncle Mitchell.
"So Fudge, here to get prepped for the new school year, are you?" My dad chuckled and asked him like a good old college pal or something.
"Of course! But actually," the Purple Fudge looked around and lowered his voice. "Actually, there is some very important business going on with the school this year..."
"Oh?" Aunt Peggy interests were instantly perked as she automatically leaned in like everyone else in the party.
"Yes, yes indeed!" I could tell Purple Fudge was relishing the importance of his little "gossip" piece or whatever it was. "See, I don't need to remind you about, you know, the Potters?" Every face in the circle turned solemn as they all eagerly nodded, confirming they knew the "Potters." Even Lydia nodded, probably feeling very grown-up about herself. I stared blankly. This better all come together soon.
"Yes, well, you know about their son of course, Harry?" This was met with more eager nods of interest. "Yes, well, he has been living with his Aunt and Uncle for the past eleven years you know. Well, he is attending Hogwarts this year, and well," he continued, hiking up his trousers with a sense of importance, "We just have to make sure that everything runs smoothly during the transition and all." He winked and both Uncle Mitchell and my Dad nodded with understanding. Lydia and Aunt Peggy were gaping with wonder at this news as I still tried to piece it all together. Who. Were. The. Potters. The question kept circulating in my head, getting louder with each knowledgeable and annoying nod from my relatives. I gritted my teeth and suddenly I hated this stupid Leaky Cauldron shack. I wanted to shut up this Purple Mr. Importance and get my stupid zombie family out of here.
"Well, heh, I don't know who the Potters are, what happened with them, or why this Harry guy is so important." I spoke loudly, just in case it couldn't penetrate the zombies. They all suddenly looked at me as if this was the first time they had ever set eyes on me. Um yes, hello, I am Lucky Keefer, daughter of Jack Keefer. Oh yes, I have been with the four of you this whole time! Can you believe it? I thought, fuming. Aunt Peggy actually looked embarrassed when I spoke. I couldn't believe it. She put her hands on my shoulders and smiled like a crocodile with a toothache.
"Oh, yes, Cornelius, this is my niece, Lucky." She laughed apologetically. "She lived in the United States, hasn't really, you know, learned the wizarding world yet." Her smile threatened to crack her face. My dad chuckled nervously as I pushed out of her arms.
"I'm not an idiot, that's what she means." I spoke ruefully. Aunt Peggy gasped and paled. Lydia's eyes widened fearfully. "I am from the U.S., and yeah, I don't know to much about our history, but I can bet you there are a lot of wizards out there who don't know a thing about Harry Potter either!" I spit his name and waited for what Fudgy would say. Aunt Peggy's ghastly face had quickly taken a turn and now looked like a tomato. Lydia and Uncle Mitchell looked mortified, but my Dad...he actually looked bemused. So did Purple Fudge.
"Oh I am sure as well. No apologies or excuses needed!" he spoke finally, a twinkle in his eye suggesting he knew exactly what I was going through. I relaxed a bit. Aunt Peggy, on the other hand, was battling with herself. I had just been totally rude and undermining to her, but Fudgy was fine with it. He actually had taken my side, if anything. I felt like laughing, and I knew my dark look at the doorstep would go unnoticed now. Much less tense, I grinned back at Fudgy.
"My name is Lucky Keefer, I am going to be a first year at, er, Hogwarts."
Fudgy smiled brightly. "Oh, well that is good, perhaps you and Harry will be getting along then?" he grinned at our dejected party. I seriously doubted whether this Harry guy and I were going to be best of pals, though when he said I couldn't help noticing that Lydia looked like it would be an absolute dream to even know him.
"Erm, yeah, that would be pretty cool." I smiled with what I hoped what sincerity. Aunt Peggy chuckled and patted my shoulder as if she just adored her sweet little nice. Humph. Being nice now, are we? I thought. My Dad smiled and nodded.
"Well Cornelius, I hope you have luck with your project, I doubt anything could go wrong. In the meanwhile, we have to bring my daughter to her first visit at Diagon Alley!" Way to go Dad. He had just been successful in making ,me sound like a little child. I shook my head, but Cornelius didn't seem to mind.
"Ah! I remember my first visit!" he winked at my father. He had been doing that a lot. My Dad grinned again like a zombie. I couldn't resist it and rolled my eyes.
Somehow we escaped Fudgy and made our way to the back of the bar. A rusted door led out to the garbage, which was surrounded by a brick wall. I was about to cry in confusion. What is going on? First a crappy old bar, then the garbage bins in the back?? And now, my Dad was tapping the bricks in the wall?? I folded my arms and watched. Yeah, it was clear; my family had lost their mind.
Wait...was I losing my mind too? I blinked. The bricks were not moving. They couldn't be. But...they were. I watched in complete awe as the bricks clicked back methodically and slowly opened up a larger and larger hole. They stopped; a huge gap had formed in the gray brick wall and on the other side shops were lined on a narrow cobbled street, squashed against each other with hardly room to spare. The cobbled streets bustled with the excited activity of...wizards.
"Welcome to Diagon Alley, Lucky." Uncle Mitchell grinned. I realized my mouth hung open and I quickly shut it, and somehow managed to move.
"Wow" I breathed. "This is...pretty cool." I smiled. My Dad laughed and suddenly I remembered. "Hey dad, who was that guy? In the purple suit?"
"Who, Cornelius?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "He's Cornelius Fudge, the Head of the Ministry." I stopped in my path.
"The Head of the Ministry? And you...aren't angry with me for...talking like that?" my Dad looked confused for a second before laughing again.
"No honi, that's fine. He seemed to like you." He patted my back, a show of affection that usually would have been cheesy and annoying to me, but instead I was thankful for his motion.
"Jack! Lucky!" Aunt Peggy motioned for us to follow them. I could hardly see her in the pushing and rushing pack of wizards.
"We have to get you together...wand, robes, broom!" My Dad shook his head. I was grinning from ear to ear. I knew this was cheesy, this was silly, but I was finally so ecstatic about this whole going to Hogwarts thing that I just let if flow.
Maybe London's back in the game. Maybe.