one more chapter till the actual coversation!
Answer the Door
Sydney was, as usual, laying in bed just thinking. There was no way she would ever even expect to fall asleep before 2 am, when her eyelids just got too heavy to hold. Even then she'd toss and turn for about another ½ hour. She couldn't remember the last time she slept through the whole night without the aid of Tylenol PM or a valium. She was tired but her mind was wired. She was thinking of everything but mostly, like all other nights, she was thinking of Vaughn.
Before North Korea she mainly thought of their past, how they used to be. How he used to whisper her name in the middle of the night to see if she was asleep. Even is she was awake she'd almost never answer. He'd lean down kiss her forehead and utter another whisper, "goodnight." That would launch her into the sweetest of dreams. But she didn't have that anymore so all she could do was remember.
After North Korea she started thinking about their future. If they could ever manage to have one. She could see herself falling asleep in his arms again whispering sweet nothings to her. Those thoughts could've single handedly killed her. But then again they were what she lived for. She wasn't sure she forgave him, yet she knew she needed him in her life, he was Vaughn. That's all she had to say to explain it to herself.
But tonight she got to think about the kiss. That kiss sent all of her emotions in all different directions. She didn't even know how she was feeling, relieved, happy, scared, anxious, all of the above plus another 100. At that moment she didn't care, she was with Vaughn and more importantly Vaughn was with her. What made it so perfect was that there was no talking, no discussing how her hurt her, no talking about what happens next. But she knew the conversation would eventually surface and she had to be ready for it. She's prepared for thousands of debriefs and meetings but you can't prepare for a conversation with Vaughn. When she's with him thoughts escape her and all she's left with is words. Words that may not even make sense but somehow to him they always do. The problem: she can't control them, her emotions do. And when she's with Vaughn there's no chance of controlling her emotions.
At first she thought she was imagining the knocking but then she heard it a second time. She wasn't even going to get out of bed. Whoever it was maybe they'd just go away. But in her line of work you never knew what could happen and if you got a phone call at 2am you had to answer the phone and if there was a knock on your door at 1230 you had to answer the door. She rolled out of her bed and managed to get herself to the door. There were only two people she imagined standing there; Her father with bad news or Weiss with liquor. She was praying it would be Eric. For two reasons- He made her laugh and the alcohol made her numb. As she slowly opened the door those green eyes were the last things she expected to meet with hers.
"Vaughn?"