AN: Random parody of the "love" scene. Don't ask. Just review if it was
amusing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Briseis: AHHHH! Crazy ugly smelly old men are groping me!!!
Achilles: Here I come to save the day! H-YA!
uses the handy branding-thingee instead of sharp sword to beat everyone up
All the Ugly Soldiers: (die)
Briseis: I appreciate the rescuing and all, but why are you killing your own army?
Achilles: Don't you know? I'm Achilles. I don't need an army. Besides, they were uglier than I am.
Briseis: Oh.
BACK IN THE TENT
Achilles: Here, let me be sweet and charming. Let me dab at your face ineffectually while I try to peek down your robes.
Briseis: Bastard.
Achilles: Hey! I'm just going to go to bed, then, in my gorgeous nakedness. You know you want this.
Briseis: (whispers to self) kill sexy man. kill sexy man. really sexy man. too sexy to die. no, be good trojan, kill sexy man. really sexy man...
LATER THAT NIGHT
Briseis: Hah! I have the knife to your throat! I win!
Achilles: (does deep staring lustful look)
Briseis: Nooo! I have to kill you sexy man!
Achilles: (stares some more)
Briseis: But you'll kill thousands of men!
Achilles: Damn straight. I'm Achilles, sexiest man alive, and warrior to boot.
Briseis: (pants loudly and tries to think while lying atop of the sexiest man alive)
Achilles: Oh, just drop the damn knife and kiss me.
Briseis: But your my mortal enemy who has saved my life and so I must be confused and fight my attraction to you.
Achilles: But I'm Achilles, sexiest man alive. Plus, I got two women in bed with me at once. How can you fight that?
Briseis: Good point.
(They have hot kinky monkey sex. The knife, miraculously, falls somewhere where it doesn't stab anyone.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------ Briseis: AHHHH! Crazy ugly smelly old men are groping me!!!
Achilles: Here I come to save the day! H-YA!
uses the handy branding-thingee instead of sharp sword to beat everyone up
All the Ugly Soldiers: (die)
Briseis: I appreciate the rescuing and all, but why are you killing your own army?
Achilles: Don't you know? I'm Achilles. I don't need an army. Besides, they were uglier than I am.
Briseis: Oh.
BACK IN THE TENT
Achilles: Here, let me be sweet and charming. Let me dab at your face ineffectually while I try to peek down your robes.
Briseis: Bastard.
Achilles: Hey! I'm just going to go to bed, then, in my gorgeous nakedness. You know you want this.
Briseis: (whispers to self) kill sexy man. kill sexy man. really sexy man. too sexy to die. no, be good trojan, kill sexy man. really sexy man...
LATER THAT NIGHT
Briseis: Hah! I have the knife to your throat! I win!
Achilles: (does deep staring lustful look)
Briseis: Nooo! I have to kill you sexy man!
Achilles: (stares some more)
Briseis: But you'll kill thousands of men!
Achilles: Damn straight. I'm Achilles, sexiest man alive, and warrior to boot.
Briseis: (pants loudly and tries to think while lying atop of the sexiest man alive)
Achilles: Oh, just drop the damn knife and kiss me.
Briseis: But your my mortal enemy who has saved my life and so I must be confused and fight my attraction to you.
Achilles: But I'm Achilles, sexiest man alive. Plus, I got two women in bed with me at once. How can you fight that?
Briseis: Good point.
(They have hot kinky monkey sex. The knife, miraculously, falls somewhere where it doesn't stab anyone.)