Flipping, wheeling, ducking, falling and leaping, I did what I could to outwit and defeat SIMON, but it was no good. In less than three minutes, he had me pinned, and was about to take my head off. And I realised I'd lost.
"Bryce!" I yelled, straining against SIMON's arms to further the inches between his blades and my throat.
Bryce must have realised that I was in trouble, because seconds later, just as my strength was failing, SIMON suddenly became much lighter, and my arms straightened, pushing the robot bodily backwards. It righted itself, and then slumped to the floor. Bryce came running over, Kurtis following as fast he could. Bryce fell to his knees at my side, one hand on my arm and the other around my shoulders, helping me to sit up. He looked at me, concerned.
"Are you alright?"
It all became too much, and I scrambled to my feet, pushing Bryce away and storming out. Bryce began to follow, but Kurtis must have stopped him because then I was alone in the hallway. I heard Kurtis' words, "Let her go," and the tears began to fall. I broke into a run and headed into the garden, aiming blindly for the furthest reaches.
I sat on a stone bench, tears still coming freely, desperately trying to sort through my feelings. Egypt had really worked me over, that much was clear. I had thought that I was ok, that I had had my epiphany and now all I had to do was work out in which direction I was headed next. I laughed bitterly, wondering how I could have ever thought it could be that simple. I wiped at my tears, my thoughts continuing.
I had been tough enough to survive Egypt, to get out, but now, I wasn't sure what else I was tough enough to deal with. Before, I had thought myself invincible. Thinking nothing of going all over the world, into dangerous territory with the minimum of backup, I had finally taken on too much, and it had broken me. I had suddenly been hit with the fact that I would, one day, lose, and though in Paris and Prague the adrenaline had pushed that aside, it was no longer there to shield me. I didn't even have the confidence to tackle SIMON any more. I probably wouldn't have even got through the Nephilim incident without Kurtis' help. Bryce, Hillary, everyone had thought that I could handle anything thrown at me, but I couldn't. Not any more.
I sat there, wanting to talk to someone but not wanting to move, until I heard the syncopated footsteps of Kurtis making his towards me on his crutches. He sat down next to me, propping the crutches up against the bench. We didn't look at each other, just at the garden ahead of us.
"You just need to find your confidence again."
I knew Kurtis was telekinetic, but was he a mindreader as well?!
"What makes you think I've lost it?" I asked.
"Bryce said you nearly died last year, and now you can't even win against SIMON, something you've never had trouble doing before. He's worried about you, worried you're losing your touch. Hillary, too."
"What did Hillary say?" My voice was small, and cracked slightly from crying.
"He wants you to see someone, a counsellor or something."
I twisted the hem of my top in my fingers, silent until Kurtis spoke again.
"People like us, we feel. Counselling, talking, none of it will help, not enough. You need to get back out there and fight again – convince yourself you can still do it, or die trying."
"Did Bryce tell you what happened in Egypt?"
"How could he? He doesn't know himself yet. You've not told anyone, remember? All we know is that you got buried under a collapsing pyramid and then turned up alive three months later."
"It was dark. I couldn't move. My ankle was broken, my ribs cracked, I had concussion, I couldn't see a thing, and there was no way out. I dug, lost consciousness, dug some more. I don't even remember half of it, but I do know that somehow I ended up with some nomads who took care of me. They said that Werner and the others had left a couple of days before. Didn't stay long, did they?"
"Oh, so that's your problem." Kurtis sounded assured, as if he realised something that I had known all along. I hadn't, I didn't even know it then.
"You can't go back out there because you don't think, if something goes wrong, that your friends will back you up."
"I didn't have any back up in Prague," I snapped.
"You had me."
I set my jaw and looked away again, glaring at the ground to my side.
"Lara – Bryce, Hillary, they'll help you. They won't leave you. I don't know the details but I don't for one second believe that they gave up on you in Egypt easily. You gotta get two things sorted in your head – first, you're still strong, you can still do it, and you need to do it. It's who you are. Second – you've always got somebody there to help you when it gets too much, and it will get too much. No-one can do everything on their own. Bryce, Hillary. Me. We'll be there."
He stood, getting himself back on his crutches, and starting off back toward the house.
"What about you?" I called out. "How are you managing?" I asked because I was concerned, but also because it might help me.
"Oh, y'know," he called over his shoulder. "Muddling through. All you can do." He hopped away before stopping to speak again. "I'm gonna go do some exercises. Got the physio coming tomorrow, and I want a head start – gotta get off these crutches. Demons to hunt."
I smiled slightly, blinking away tears that threatened to fall as I watched him go, a hero in every sense of the word. He'd fallen off and got right back up again, and I was still holding out for a helping hand.
"Bryce!" I yelled, straining against SIMON's arms to further the inches between his blades and my throat.
Bryce must have realised that I was in trouble, because seconds later, just as my strength was failing, SIMON suddenly became much lighter, and my arms straightened, pushing the robot bodily backwards. It righted itself, and then slumped to the floor. Bryce came running over, Kurtis following as fast he could. Bryce fell to his knees at my side, one hand on my arm and the other around my shoulders, helping me to sit up. He looked at me, concerned.
"Are you alright?"
It all became too much, and I scrambled to my feet, pushing Bryce away and storming out. Bryce began to follow, but Kurtis must have stopped him because then I was alone in the hallway. I heard Kurtis' words, "Let her go," and the tears began to fall. I broke into a run and headed into the garden, aiming blindly for the furthest reaches.
I sat on a stone bench, tears still coming freely, desperately trying to sort through my feelings. Egypt had really worked me over, that much was clear. I had thought that I was ok, that I had had my epiphany and now all I had to do was work out in which direction I was headed next. I laughed bitterly, wondering how I could have ever thought it could be that simple. I wiped at my tears, my thoughts continuing.
I had been tough enough to survive Egypt, to get out, but now, I wasn't sure what else I was tough enough to deal with. Before, I had thought myself invincible. Thinking nothing of going all over the world, into dangerous territory with the minimum of backup, I had finally taken on too much, and it had broken me. I had suddenly been hit with the fact that I would, one day, lose, and though in Paris and Prague the adrenaline had pushed that aside, it was no longer there to shield me. I didn't even have the confidence to tackle SIMON any more. I probably wouldn't have even got through the Nephilim incident without Kurtis' help. Bryce, Hillary, everyone had thought that I could handle anything thrown at me, but I couldn't. Not any more.
I sat there, wanting to talk to someone but not wanting to move, until I heard the syncopated footsteps of Kurtis making his towards me on his crutches. He sat down next to me, propping the crutches up against the bench. We didn't look at each other, just at the garden ahead of us.
"You just need to find your confidence again."
I knew Kurtis was telekinetic, but was he a mindreader as well?!
"What makes you think I've lost it?" I asked.
"Bryce said you nearly died last year, and now you can't even win against SIMON, something you've never had trouble doing before. He's worried about you, worried you're losing your touch. Hillary, too."
"What did Hillary say?" My voice was small, and cracked slightly from crying.
"He wants you to see someone, a counsellor or something."
I twisted the hem of my top in my fingers, silent until Kurtis spoke again.
"People like us, we feel. Counselling, talking, none of it will help, not enough. You need to get back out there and fight again – convince yourself you can still do it, or die trying."
"Did Bryce tell you what happened in Egypt?"
"How could he? He doesn't know himself yet. You've not told anyone, remember? All we know is that you got buried under a collapsing pyramid and then turned up alive three months later."
"It was dark. I couldn't move. My ankle was broken, my ribs cracked, I had concussion, I couldn't see a thing, and there was no way out. I dug, lost consciousness, dug some more. I don't even remember half of it, but I do know that somehow I ended up with some nomads who took care of me. They said that Werner and the others had left a couple of days before. Didn't stay long, did they?"
"Oh, so that's your problem." Kurtis sounded assured, as if he realised something that I had known all along. I hadn't, I didn't even know it then.
"You can't go back out there because you don't think, if something goes wrong, that your friends will back you up."
"I didn't have any back up in Prague," I snapped.
"You had me."
I set my jaw and looked away again, glaring at the ground to my side.
"Lara – Bryce, Hillary, they'll help you. They won't leave you. I don't know the details but I don't for one second believe that they gave up on you in Egypt easily. You gotta get two things sorted in your head – first, you're still strong, you can still do it, and you need to do it. It's who you are. Second – you've always got somebody there to help you when it gets too much, and it will get too much. No-one can do everything on their own. Bryce, Hillary. Me. We'll be there."
He stood, getting himself back on his crutches, and starting off back toward the house.
"What about you?" I called out. "How are you managing?" I asked because I was concerned, but also because it might help me.
"Oh, y'know," he called over his shoulder. "Muddling through. All you can do." He hopped away before stopping to speak again. "I'm gonna go do some exercises. Got the physio coming tomorrow, and I want a head start – gotta get off these crutches. Demons to hunt."
I smiled slightly, blinking away tears that threatened to fall as I watched him go, a hero in every sense of the word. He'd fallen off and got right back up again, and I was still holding out for a helping hand.