Dog Star *

by: Raven Mirage

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." Fran Lebowitz

viii
bittersweet

* * *

Delilah smiled softly as she watched Sirius. She knew that logically she should be very afraid of him. She should be running away screaming like one of those horror movie bimbos. Delilah had a tendency to know one thing, but do another. She wasn't scared of him at all, indeed she felt a little sorry for him. It was obvious to her that he wasn't really a murderer. The part she didn't get was why everyone else thought that he was. Were they blind? She hadn't been old enough to care to remember when it had happened so maybe she wasn't biased. Sirius has been gone from school enough years to become only a legend, he and the marauders, and Delilah guessed that most of those stories were embelished quite a bit.

She finished her plate and set it in the sink. She stood for a moment, her eyes fixed on the bottom of the sink. She was trying to decide whether she should go ahead and ask what she wanted to know, or just try to push it from her mind. She had only now just met the real Sirius and she didn't want to seem like she was prying into his life. She didn't want him to think that he owed her the truth or an explanation. It was really none of her business and she didn't want to bring up anything that might hurt him and she knew that something so messed up, so horrible as to send him to Azkaban would probably hurt him.

Still. Her curiosity was never something that she could chain very easily. She had tried ever since childhood and much to everyone's dismay she never managed it. If she wanted to know something strong enough she would find it out and she felt like the only person who could tell her the truth about this matter would be Sirius. She opened her mouth, then closed it. How was she going to say this without it turning into a huge catastrophe. "Um... Sirius..." She rang a dish towel in her hands nervously, scared to even turn around. "I don't want to ... I mean I would like to ..."

"I was framed . . . "

*

" . . . It was the ultimate betrayal." Sirius began. He had known Delilah would eventually ask him what happened. Through their time together he had observed bits and pieces of her personaility. She was not one to hold back. He didn't really mind. He felt like he could really trust this girl. But remember last time you felt like you could really trust somebody... He shook it off. He couldn't start thinking like that. He raised his eyes to Delilah, who was still standing beside the sink, but she had turned and was now gazing at him sadly. Sad already, and she didn't even know the story yet.

"Wh-what happened?" She asked hesitently. She moved to her chair across from his, her eyes always fixed on his own.

"I don't know when it started exactly. Maybe it was before we even met him, perhaps our lives had already been planned out. Nice thought huh? Your fate? You're going to be in prison for killing your best friend. Oh, but don't worry, you really didn't do it." He fisted his hands and looked down. He didn't want her to see the anger there. "I tried to reason it out, Delilah. I really did. At first I thought that perhaps we had wronged him some way, something so horrible that he thought he needed to do this, but then I realized it wasn't true. Yes, sometimes we had ignored him, yes we treated him as an insignificant sometimes, but it was never anything personal. He was our friend! We trusted him, James trusted him. How could he do this!"

Delilah reached across the table and placed a hand on his shoulder. He recoiled, almost afraid of the touch. It had been so long since anyone had reached out to him in compassion, in hope. "Sirius, it's all right. You don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to." He shook his head. He wanted to tell her this. He wanted to tell somebody. Someone else had to know what really happened.

"No." Sirius said. He asked her if she knew who the Marauders were. She did. She also knew that he and James were each one of them. "So there were four of us. Remus and Peter were the other two. We bascially spent the best years of our life together. You've been to Hogwarts so you know what Im talking about. We always backed each other. We had the perfect, invincible little team." He smiled wistfully in remembrance. "Then we graduated. Voldemort was rising. We joined together for the cause of stopping him. We lost so many friends, but we never thought it would be any of us. Even when the Dark Lord set his sights on Lily and James we thought that we could come out on top. It was all about time.

"I had always felt a little iffy around Peter, but then again I chalked it up to the fact that he had annoyed me when we were younger. He was always the meek little sneaky one. He always seemed to show up at the weirdest times and knew things we couldn't remember telling him. Still, when the time came for my best friend, the person who meant the most to me, his wife, and his child to go into hiding I asked him to take the position of secret keeper." Sirius didn't bother asking if she knew what that was. He felt like she would know. "I thought that I wasn't strong enough. I was too weak to take on the responsibilty. Yet I was foolish. I knew I would die before I told anyone where they were. I knew they would be safe if they were in my hands. But I gave it to Peter. Now they are dead and my Godson is in danger."

"Danger?" Delilah questioned. She had moved her hand down his arm and it was resting on his. He hadn't even noticed.

"Yes, danger. After I found out what happened I knew Peter had done it. He had ratted them out..." He laughed softly, but without humour. The joke was lost on Delilah. "I confronted him. He saw his chance and he was the one who framed me. He killed those people, not me. He faked his own death and made himself look like a matyr. Poor little Peter Pettigrew, horrible horrible Sirius Black." He sneered. "Bloody idiots." He muttered. "Anyway, they saw he was gone, and I was left standing there with a wand raised amidst thirteen dead people. All I could do was laugh. What else was I to do," He met Delilah's eyes tragically, "I was beyond crying."

Delilah squeezed his hand and lowered her head. "And after all these years you escape. Does it have something to do with your Godson?"

Sirius nodded. "Because of my animagus form I was able to keep my sanity, or at least I suppose. The Minister would come and see me and one day he brought a paper along with him. On a false pretext I was able to borrow it. There was an article about Harry and there was a picture. His friends were in it with him, but there was an interloper. Peter."

"How?" Delilah gasped.

"He's an animagus, also. He's posing as Harry's best friend's pet rat."

*

Delilah didn't know what to say. What could one say to something like that. Oh, I'm sorry, here's a sympathy card? Sirius had been through hell, and to top it off he was being punished for it. He didn't say so, but she could see that he was also punishing himself for it. She could only touch his hand, try to give him some comfort, some connection with humanity. He needed a lot more than that, but that was all she could think of offering.

She was spared from words when they heard the front door swing open and the doorknob connect with the hall closet. "Steven!" Delilah cried under her breath. Only her brother came in like that. Their father was always complaining about how Steven was going to splinter the door. Her brother got much satisfaction out of that. Human Sirius was suddenly replaced by his dog form, still at the kitchen table.

Steven walked passed the kitchen. He lifted a hand in greeting, the other holding a book up to his nose. "Hey, sis." He said, then stopped. Delilah waited. Steven took a couple steps back, lowered the book, then looked at Delilah and then the dog. "Not asking." He continued on, shaking his head. Delilah waited until she heard his bedroom door closing to burst into a fit of giggles.

*

After cleaning up Delilah retired to her bedroom. She booted up her laptop and begun to type a quick entry in her journal. She had to explain the machine to Sirius, who was sitting against the wall reading one of her books. So many things were going through her head and she had to put them into words. She felt pulled in many different directions but she already knew the path she wanted to take: The one everyone else was afraid of.

I know this is dangerous, she wrote glancing at the man across the room, his brows knit in concentration. I don't need anymore trouble with the ministry, especially something like this, but Sirius needs help, and by God I'm not going to forsake him. Never. She finished her entry and shut down her computer. With a sigh she said, "interesting book?" It was muggle fiction she had gotten about the life of a teenage werewolf.

"Better than some." Sirius replied, not looking up. Delilah guessed that meant he liked it. "He seems to know his stuff about werewolves. Though, they can't change at will and only at the full moon. He has it at the new moon and half moons, too." Delilah arched an eyebrow then smiled.

*

Sirius didn't know how late it was when Delilah disappeared into her bathroom only to come out a minute later clad in her pajamas. He had been running an idea, more like a problem, through his head for quite a while. He was still glad she hadn't freaked when she found out his true identity, but now that led to another problem (actually all sorts of problems but he didn't really want to think of those at the moment). Where was he going to sleep? He had a feeling that now that she knew he was really a human and not a mangy mutt (not that she was discrimitory, oh no) she would not allow him to sleep on the floor. Yet he couldn't very well sleep in her bed. That wouldn't be very proper, now would it?

He sniffed to himself, looking out the window for a while and then back. He watched silently as she drew back her sheets and examined the position of her pillows. He caught himself grinning childishly. He kept telling himself that he should stop this, stop liking her so much. It was only a matter of time before he would have to leave her, most likely for good, and he didn't need to hurt himself anymore. He didn't want to hurt her. He knew if he stayed here too much longer he might act on his growing feelings. Even if it was something small, a kiss perhaps, it would have a large effect.

That didn't stop him from still thinking she was beautiful. She wasn't the type of beautiful you saw in magazines, or muggle movies. She wasn't glitz and glamour like many associated with beauty. She was something all together atypical. Her looks came naturally and she didn't even try, she didn't even seem to care, and that made all the difference. When he had been in school and even after he had graduated he had always turned away from girls who constantly brushed their hair, applied their make-up (especially those god-awful red shades of lipstick!), and had no brain cells what-so-ever. They were the ones who clamored desperately for most of his attention - - and the ones who got the least of it.

He was relieved and amazed that there were still girls around who cared more about others than themselves and their appearance. Girl. He kept calling her a girl when it was very obvious she was a woman. He had met few true women. He was unlucky in that, but because of that he appreciated it when he saw it and admired it for as long as possible. His lips curved up slightly as she let out a sigh and brushed a hand through her multi-toned hair. As special as she was he could never bring himself to tell her that.

*

It suddenly hit her as she readied for bed. Sirius couldn't sleep on the floor anymore! She would not allow that! God, if she had only known about this situation earlier then she would have thought of something sensible. But now she was stuck, minutes before bed trying to make an extremely hard decision. She frowned as her eyes swept over his form once again. She had been studying it a little too much, but she couldn't help herself. He was a little skinny (Aw, hell they had fucking starved him in that godforsaken prison! The bastards!) and his hair was a bit scraggly but both of those things didn't affect his over-all appearance. He was still drop dead gorgeous. She wouldn't mind in the least having to sleep curled up next to him.

She shook her head gently, trying to pry those thoughts from her mind. She'd had such feelings for others before ( school crushes, TV stars, other famous people) but never so strongely, and never mixed with any other emotion. It had always been that pure, innocent feeling of attraction. Now there was more than just attraction. She not only wanted him in a way she figured she would never want anyone, but she cared about him, too. So deeply she felt her heart would be crushed if he was ever hurt. It was so foolish. Then why does it feel so right?

"Erm. Sirius ..?" Delilah said. He met her eyes. "You can sleep at the foot of my bed if you like. I'm sure it's more comfy than that floor." Yes, that's good. Not too forward.

He hesitated before answering. "No. I can't. But thank you."

"Really. It's okay. The floors too hard. I can't let - - "

"You can and you will." He said quietly. "I don't think it would be right."

She sniffed. He thinks I'm a child. I'm sure that's it. Why do I even bother!? She wanted to tear her hair out. She was being stupid and she knew it. Paranoid even. He was just trying to be a gentleman. She knew she should be happy he wasn't one of those who tried to get into bed with you as soon as possible. She wasn't. Always she had either been rejected by someone she really cared about, or found herself in the sights of someone she could never trully care about. Oh grow up, Delilah. She told herself. She couldn't let her own insecurities ruin what could become a friendship. She could at least have that.

He must have noticed her uneasiness because he said. "Okay. Lay down a bunch of pillows. At least for tonight. It's late and we need to get some sleep. We can talk more about this tommorow. Is that all right?"

Delilah wanted to say it wasn't. That not only did she want to be near him but she found it absolutely rude to make him sleep on the floor. Instead she found herself replying, "I guess so." She retrieved some extra pillows and laid them out, then procurred a blanket for a cover. With a smile she flicked off the lights. "Night Sirius." As she burrowed into her sheets she heard the unmistakable padding of paws on the floor, then the rustling of blankets and pillows as he settled himself. She sighed and drfited into a fitful sleep.

*

The next morning Sirius awoke to a gentle prodding in his side. He opened his eyes slowly and peered about him to see what it was. He saw Delilah standing above him. "It's about time. I thought I might have to kick you to rouse you." She laughed softly as he changed into his human form. He rubbed his face and drew his hair away from his eyes. Moments later something dropped with a dull thud in his lap. He looked at her strangely before she motioned to it.

"Well, open it you big dummy. I bought you a present." She said as he began unwrapping the box. She grinned wider then started for the door. "Oh, I'm letting you stay here today to get some rest. Hope that's okay. I just wanted to make sure you got this before I left." She grabbed a bag off her desk and departed, leaving him with, "just don't eat it all at once. You'll get sick."

He shook his head as he finished unwrapping it. She had got him a box and filled it with all kinds of sweets. Making up for the cupcake incident I see. He smirked to himself. He laughed about her comment, thinking she sounded like a mother. "Why, thank you, Delilah." He said to the empty room, and without furthur ado dove into the candies.

*

Delilah had felt a sudden urge to do something for her new roomate. She went out early while he was still sleeping and made sure to get the best chocolates she could find. It was only a personal thing, but she wanted to make up for everything that happened to him. There was no way of that, she knew it, but she could do a bit to make him feel more at home. Cheer him up. He had laid down a lot of things the night before. Well, chocolates had always helped her. This situation was different, but at least it was a gesture.

She thought about him the whole day while she worked. She smiled as she pictured his face. His eyes, his lips, the way his hair framed it so delicately. She could see him sitting against the wall, that look of thoughtfulness or sullenless written all over every inch of him. She couldn't wait to get home and see him again, talk to him. She knew when he was gone she would miss him dearly.

*

By that evening Sirius was seriously regretting even opening the box. Delilah's words of warning drifted back to him in an almost taunting manner. "Don't eat it all at once. You'll get sick." Why did females always have to be right? While in the midst of a moan the door swung open and Delilah's happy face appeared.

"Hey Siri!" She cried, dropping her stuff beside the door. Then she paused, immediate disapproval apparent in her posture. She placed her hands on her hips. "You ate it all, didn't you?" She demanded accusingly.

Damn... she looks like my mother... Scary. He tried to right himself. "No. I'm fine. Just ti-" Another cramp siezed him and he doubled over. When it was over he gazed bashfully up at her. "Well, maybe a little bit."

"Sirius, Sirius. What am I gonna do with you?" She tsked, but allowed a small smile to grace her lips as she knelt beside him. She stroked his hair gently. "Awww. Poor baby. But I did warn you."

"That you did..." He agreed, concentrating on the way her fingers felt in his hair despite the vague throbbing in his abdomen. Then the slightly humourous realization that perhaps he had spent too much time as a dog when he wanted to lean his head into her hand. He had to grin.

"Well, you can't be too bad off." She cracked, "but I'll get you something anyway." She stood again and went into her bathroom. Then returned with a bottle in her hands. "It's muggle medicine, but it works." She handed it to him. He looked at it uncertainly. "And it won't bite, either." He glanced at her once more before unscrewing the cap.

*

Darkness fell on the world. Delilah wondered if there had ever been a more beautiful night. The sky was clear, the stars so bright they seemed to be great lamps in the sky. The breeze floating in through the open window was perfect; not too strong and not too weak. The best part of the evening was the fact she was positioned right under the window, Sirius leaning back against her. She tangled her fingers in his hair, brushing them through the raven strands every once in a while.

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may. Wish I might, have this wish I wish tongiht." Delilah whispered softly, almost to herself. She shut her eyes for an instant letting the shadows press against her and cloud her senses. She sighed and opened them again once her wish was made. She looked down at Sirius and he was looking up at her, his dark eyes glimmering in the starlight. "Did you make a wish?"

"Every night." He replied, eyes traveling back outside. "I wish that I will wake up the next day and find this was all a dream. That James and Lily are alive and Harry is nothing more than a normal, happy boy enjoying his third year at his parent's alma mater. But I know it will never come true. There are no more stars for me to wish on." He paused, his voice lowering, "they died. Along with my dreams." And he grew silent.

Delilah could say no more. Her eyes blurred, her heart breaking under the pressure of a life that was ripped apart by tragedy and punished beyond all normal comprehension. She could not begin to imagine his pain. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Dreams never die, Sirius," she said, "as long as you never give up hope." She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on top of his head. They sat like that for some time and soon he fell asleep. She didn't bother to wake him. He looked so peaceful and it felt nice to hold someone so closely.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wow. It's been awhile. I apologize. I didn't realize just how demanding my senior year was going to be. I got my term paper right at the beggining so I was busy with that, but I am finished now. I hope I will be able to work more on my stories and that the next update won't be so long in coming. I also hope you guys are still with me and enjoyed this chapter.

See you soon. (If all goes as planned.)

~ Rave