With Impunity (1/?)
by Sacara
Disclaimers: The usual disclaimers ... the characters are of course owned by T. Harris. I only borrowed them to play around – promise to bring'em back all well and happy.
Setting: takes place within the movies end.... although I made some changes!!
Summery: Agent Clarice Starling could never in her life imagine to be with the Doctor, until something happens......
Author's note: One part of the story is rated NC-17 for sexual interaction. I gave enough warning so please don't read it if you don't like that sort of thing....All feedback is welcome! Enjoy.
With Impunity (Part 1)
The lever broke with a loud cracking noise and she was stuck. Her delicate neck was bent slightly backwards, every move tugged her hair. It felt like lots and lots of needles that were stuck up into the sensitive skin of her scalp.
Clarice tried to hold still, a rather difficult task considering the pretty awkward situation she was in. She was still in a kind of trance caused by the morphine he had given her, but fortunately the pain had brightened up her visions a little bit.
He was no longer a blurred vision of her imagination. It was as if she'd just waken up out of a dream. She recognized every little detail about him as if he'd only now entered the scene of the action.
"Tell me, Clarice, would you ever say to me 'Stop, if you loved me, you'd stop'?"
Dr. Lecter pinned her body to the fridge, the cold material against her bare back sending shivers down her spine. The closeness of his face and his breath on her velvety skin increased the sensation.
A strange feeling of fear mingled with excitement replaced the momentary terror she'd felt when he'd closed her hair in the fridge.
"Not in a thousand years!"
"Not in a thousand years. That's my girl."
Lecter's face came closer, he bared his teeth at her as if to bite her. Only inches before they'd have touched he stopped and apparently considered his actions. Instead of biting her his mouth came down on hers and their lips touched the first time.
Clarice felt dizzy and confused, her knees went weak and a little whimpering noise escaped
through her parted lips. She didn't want that – tried to turn her face away but he was too strong.
There was only one thing that she could do now.
A clicking sound disturbed Lecter in his actions. She'd cuffed him. He lifted his chained wrist, raised his eyebrows, a strange look on his face.
"Now, that's really interesting, Clarice, and I'm really pressed for time. So where's the key? .......... where's the key?" he said emphatically.
Clarice just hold his piercing gaze.
The Doctor turned his head slightly, apparently searching for something. His eye fell on a sharp blade that lay on the kitchen table. He took it into his free hand and turned back to Clarice. Lecter waved it slowly in front of her face. Her big blue eyes followed his every move.
The blade in Dr. Lecter's hand and his expression did not augur well.
"My darling Clarice, obviously there are not many options left for us now and as I've told you before I am really pressed for time. So, now I will do something that I, myself consider somewhat rude, but I do not see another way to escape from this preposterous predicament!"
Before Starling could even say one word he gripped her ponytail and with one sharp movement cut her hair a few inches above the fridge. Clarice, who was totally surprised fell forward. Her hands waved around trying to find something to hold on. The earlier dizziness, caused by the drug, increased the effect. In her panic she grasped Lecter's arm and pulled him with her to the ground. The blade was involuntarily thrown across the room almost hitting Krendler in his wheelchair. Neither of them was able to prevent the fall.
It all happened within seconds. They both fell down on the tiled kitchen floor. Clarice hit her head badly on the rough tiles.
The last thing she noticed was a voice that said – 'God-Clarice are you alright, can you hear me?' – then she passed out.
°°°°
End part 1
With Impunity (2/?)
Her pulse was low and her pupils were dilated. Not a good sign. Lecter sighed. He thought about it briefly then lifted her up in his arms, their wrists still linked. One sideways glance on the watch told him to hurry. His constant companion, the FBI, would arrive soon.
Lecter put her into the car which he had hidden behind Krendler's house and again ventured a leap into the unknown. Only this time he took a double risk by taking her with him. Agent Clarice Starling whose only aim was to imprison him - to capture him.
She represented a great danger for him, and she would be nothing but a hindrance in his attempts to escape, but with one look at her beautiful face and fine features, he forgot about the risk he was taking.
--------------------------------
The Doctor was beginning to get worried. She had been unconscious now for five days. Her physical health was actually quite good again and the bullet wound was healing perfectly, but she didn't wake up. Something disturbed her. The slight bump on her head from the impact on the tiled floor had disappeared as well.
--------------------------------
It was early in the morning when he entered her room. Lecter stopped short when he saw her standing there on the balcony, the champagne-colored dressing gown wrapped tightly around her body.
Carefully, not to frighten her, he walked over to her.
"Clarice?" he said in a low voice.
Slowly, she turned around. Her expression was blank, as if she didn't even remember him. Then it dawned on him.
"Clarice? Is that my name? ..... Who are you? Where am I ? ......... "
Her eyes sought desperately for answers, answers that she wanted from him.
Oh my!
This was his chance, a chance to have her – to have her with him!
If she didn't know who he was, she couldn't despise him, or loathe him the way she did in real life. Could he do that to her? What if she sometime regained her memory. She'd hate him even more.
He shook his head.
What was he supposed to do with this Jane Doe, his little Clarice ... so strong once! If she saw herself right now she would scream with disdain, because right now she looked as helpless as a little puppy longing to crawl back into the safety of Mommy's arms.
He couldn't help but to chuckle.
When he didn't reply to her questions she turned around to breathe in the warm Californian air. He went right behind her, grasped gently both her shoulders and turned her round.
"My darling – I'm afraid I have to tell you that you had a terrible accident and apparently suffer from amnesia!"
"I ... but ..... who am I? Do I know you? .......... "she stared into his violet eyes, and for a split second he thought she knew,"
WHO are you?"
°°°°
end part 2
With Impunity 3: Insight
He still wasn't sure how to answer her questions. The expression on her face was so
desperate that he almost decided to tell her the truth - but there was something deep inside him, something powerful, that made him lie to her - lie to the one woman he profoundly loved and adored.
He disgusted lies - to lie meant to him to be weak, not having the strength to go against the tide and fight for what one believes. No, ... a lie was definitely something that he loathed, and now, would he do just that - how preposterous! Lecter had to chuckle in spite of himself.
Clarice turned when she heard him chuckling.
She raised her eyebrows questioningly. Her lovely face was still marked with worry. She seemed uneasy and uncomfortable. It hurt him to see her like this. She opened her lips slightly as if to say something, but no words came out. Of course he was aware what she was about to say.
He finally decided to end her suffering.
"Well, Clarice, I can't tell you much either, you must know I found you like this. I have no idea who you are! I am afraid I am not of much help!" Lecter smiled at her apologetically.
"I... but you know my name, don't you? Is it my real name or did you give it to me, and for how long have I been with you, anyway? ........... I still don't know who you are! You could at least tell me that..!"
Clarice narrowed her big blue eyes, a small line appeared between her brows.
"You are with me now for about nine days - your name, my dear, was the one thing that you still seemed to know ... you yourself told me, uhm, and I am Dr. Marcus Bradshaw..... nice to meet you, finally!" he smiled his typical smile.
Clarice tilted her head just a tad. Her eyes opened wide. Lecter swallowed once. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her look. Did she know - did she maybe remember something?
Then her expression turned blank again. The Doctor had never in his life experienced such a feeling of relief ... not once.
"I have to ... I have to find someone who is able to help me! I have to go..... to the police, to tell them I am suffering from amnesia, maybe my family or husband or whatever has reported me missing and worry about me .... I ... I have to go!"
Clarice turned from one side to the other, her eyes searching around as if she sought for something she didn't even know what it was. She seemed terribly nervous and confused.
Lecter grasped her shoulders and lead her slowly back to the bed. Soothing words calmed her somewhat, but as soon as they had reached the bed, again she started to babble and tried to free herself from his iron grip.
"My dear, listen to me, we'll do all that, but first you have to get better, now lie down and try to get some sleep!"
"No ..... No I can't sleep .... I have to find out who I am, I know there's something wrong here I can feel it even if I don't know what it is!! I know I .... I have to do something, but what?"
she shook her head to clear her thoughts but it seemed to be no use, as she finally gave up and let him take over.
Lecter carefully wrapped the covers around her slender features, then went away for just a second to return with a syringe.
"I don't want.... !" Clarice began.
She couldn't even finish, when Lecter started to explain.
"My darling Clarice, this will help you to get some sleep, hm!"
he gently injected the drug.
Her head still tossed from side to side. She kept on murmuring until the drug began to work. The Doctor sat down beside the sleeping Special Agent Clarice Starling. He sighed thoroughly. Apparently, he had put himself into an unbelievably hopeless situation. It all seemed like a contradiction in itself. Notably, as he had violated something that had always been most
precious to him: he had violated a principle ... even more, a byword which had all his life been a tenacious companion.
With one hasty movement Doctor Hannibal Lecter rose and went to the window. For some painful minutes he looked out into the deserted area in the middle of nowhere. The big house which he had bought years ago, was somewhere near San Diego, but quiet and deserted.
He turned his head to look again at the woman in his bed. How much he longed for her. To really be able to be with her. It would be the greatest gift for him if she wanted to be with him despite knowing who he was. Lecter scoffed.
"Well, my darling, you don't leave me another option! Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?"
with those words he quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.
°°°°°
end part 3
With Impunity: Part 4: Revelations
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Clarice had slept soundly all through the night and even most of the day. The drug had done its duty. Hannibal went into her room countless times just to make sure everything was in order. He enjoyed looking at her, admiring her sleeping face so very at ease now.
He entered the room. She still was asleep. He went closer and sat down on the edge of the bed, close to her feet. The Doctor tilted his head just a tad and smiled. It was that deeply satisfied cat-ate-the-canary smile. At this moment he had all he ever wanted in this room. His freedom and his little darling Clarice.
Lecter sighed.
He still was not sure how to handle everything. This wasn't something he was able to control. Either she remembered or she didn't. A deep frown appeared on his forehead with the thought of her remembering who she was. He loved and respected her profoundly and was actually content with the time she was willing to give him.
His plan was simple. He just hoped that she would leave him enough time to make her feel comfortable in his presence. Lecter wanted to show her how it could be - between them - he wanted to persuade her that there were things he could give her, which she would never receive from someone else. He raised his eyebrows and nodded to himself. Yes Clarice, I could make you happy - you just have to let yourself go, let me take the lead, let me take care of you, my love
With those words he stroked lightly over the covers that lay over her shapely feet.
Hannibal stood up to leave the room again. He closed the door behind him to not disturb her.
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Clarice sat upright in the bed. What a strange man she thought. He had been sitting beside her quietly for almost fifteen minutes. It had been an act of self-composure to not move or do something to make him suspicious. She didn't know why, but she had a strange feeling whenever he was in the same room with her. He was a total mystery to her, always so quiet and controlled... almost reserved - she didn't know what to think of him at all. Clarice shook her head. She really had absolutely no clue about herself and this strange man but she knew one thing for sure. There was something dangerous coming from him, he literally radiated danger.
Clarice chew on her lower lip absentmindedly. She would go to the police, that was one thing she was sure of, but how? He seemed to not be very happy about this idea of her. She just had to persuade him. It was not as if she was in prison or something like that, at least that was what special agent Starling thought naively.
Starling yawned and stretched her lithe body to shake the last bits of sleep off of her. Slowly she pushed away the satin covers and stood up. Her shapely feet touched the cold tiled floor and she looked around for some shoes. Funnily there weren't any. It was the first thing she noticed that wasn't just there for her - ready and waiting - very thoroughly prepared by him. Clarice smirked, well, she thought, nobody's perfect, not even this genius. Now where did that come from? The word "genius" and the Doctor were somehow linked in her mind.
Seemingly, another piece of her memory had come back to her. Clarice smiled satisfied: everything will be alright in the end. She was certain it would. New hope was building up inside of her and made her feel better all of a sudden. She got up and padded over to the big window. The weather was fine. She had no idea where exactly she was but somehow it seemed
irrelevant to her. Clarice sighed deeply and decided to put some clothes on. She couldn't walk around in her sleeping gown all day.
She turned and went to a huge closet. Every woman would be dying for a thing like that. She opened the doors just a tad and peeked into the closet. Her eyes opened wide and she pulled the doors completely open. The space was stuffed with women's clothing. Starling raised one delicate eyebrow: Either he was obsessed with women or he was a cross-dresser? Actually she couldn't suppress a grin. No ----- cross-dressing was definitely not his thing, not to mention that these dresses were all much too small for his figure. Clarice hold out one hand to touch the fine materials of the different dresses. The closet provided everything from a cocktail dress to sweat pants. After some time and she realized that everything seemed to be her size. It was getting stranger every minute. How in hell did he find out about my size?...... Well, take it easy girl, she told herself, probably he just looked inside of the clothes she wore the night he'd found her. She almost believed her own words, almost: there was still that awkward feeling that remained in the pit of her stomach.
She chose a pair of tight blue jeans and a Bordeaux colored pullover and hoped that the closet also contained some underwear for her. Starling opened another door and found lots and lots of different colored and shaped underwear. Clarice again just shook her head, grasped dark blue panties and a bra in the same color and shut the doors of the closet.
Clarice scoffed and leaned against the cool wood of the closet. What else would be waiting for her outside of this room, she wondered.
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The door to her room opened just this second.
Hannibal Lecter entered the room. He threw a glance at the empty bed. His expression suddenly changed completely and became hard and merciless. At least that was what Clarice felt when she watched him. He then turned around in a hasty movement to search for her. When he saw her standing in front of the closet his facial expression became gentler and a smile appeared on his face. It was that smile that he had given her every time he had talked to her these last hours.
"Ahh, Clarice, you are up and awake. How do you feel?" he still smiled at her.
"Fine thanks,!" Clarice smiled back.
"I see that you've found the clothes I took the liberty to buying for you! I hope they'll fit?" he raised his eyebrows at her.
"Uhu," Clarice laughed halfheartedly, "actually, they're all my size. How did you know?"
"Aah well, I'm afraid I just had to guess. Your old clothes also gave some helpful hints. I assume that I was lucky, hm?" Lecter smirked.
There it was again, that cat-ate-the-canary grin. She didn't like that. It reminded her of some cheap come-on's she experienced time and again. Lecter must have noticed her scornful look as he stopped to grin and said.
"Well Clarice, I am sure you want to take a shower or a bath. Please feel free to use whatever you need. The bathroom is straight ahead, the third door on the left!"
Agent Starling was relieved that he changed the subject and also that he noticed her discomfort in the clothes she was wearing.
She just nodded and left to find the bathroom.
"Oh and by the way Clarice, shoes are in the closet as well. It's the last door on the left. I hope they fit as good as those clothes!" with those words he went to his rooms again, not even bothering to turn around to look at her.
Clarice went into the bathroom and prepared a nice hot peach flavored bath. She got into tub and sat down. The minute she felt the hot water against her skin she sighed deeply and whimpered like a little puppy. It seemed to be the most wonderful thing on earth. She hoped this feeling would never dissolve.
Agent Starling sank as deep down as possible. She closed her big baby blues and seconds later she dozed off.
°° No please Dr. Lecter, don't do that .... Krendler is an idiot but he doesn't deserve a death like that...... please .. no one does........ Clarice , don't bother, Paul here will help me clear....... will you ever say stop ....... if you loved me ..... stop......... not in a thousand years..................................................... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ................
Her head tossed from side to side, water was splashing over the tiles of the bathroom floor. Noooooooo. ..........................Don't do that Dr. Lecter!!!!!............................ °°
Clarice swallowed water and coughed to get it out of her lungs. She sat upright. Her face white with shock, just her cheeks were flushed hot red. She froze, goose bumps appeared on her skin. The hot water in the tub did nothing to keep her warm. No. No. No. Please tell me that it isn't true! I am not here with Dr. HANNIBAL LECTER.
Suddenly, everything was back. The dinner with Krendler and Lecter and the kiss and of course the handcuffs. Then there was something she still didn't know. There were still some hours missing between the encounters in Krendler's kitchen and Lecter's home, but she was sure it would come back to her.
Then tears were in her eyes and she cried. She didn't know why. There were too many emotions going wild in her mind.
She embraced her both knees and leaned her forehead on her knees. Waves of tears shook her slender body.
"What am I gonna do?"
°°°°°
end part 4
With Impunity – Part 5: Timiditas (lat. for fear)
Clarice shook unceasingly. She was terrified. Her heart seemed to be hammering in her body, she felt as if she would faint any minute. She rocked to and fro kind of like a mentally ill person in a funny farm. Clarice tried to stay calm, to not get any more hysterical than she already was, but it was no use ...... the normally calm agent Starling known for her sharp mind started to mumble to herself. First it was just a quiet murmuring, but then it grew louder and louder: "Ohno... ohno, that can't be, please no, ohno, omygod, ohmygod...." It went on and on like a mantra till she nearly screamed those few words.
The door suddenly flew open and Dr. Lecter came bursting into the bathroom. He stopped short, totally shattered and out of words, which did not happen very often, actually it had never happened before.
He found his beloved Clarice in the tub, with her arms tightly woven around her both legs, her knuckles appeared deadly white from the strain. Her whole small body trembled, then that terrible whimpering, whining sounds she uttered incessantly, that climaxed in those nerve-racking screams - he had never felt that horrified before. What was happening to her, he thought, his collar felt too tight – he couldn't breathe and it choked him.
For a split second he wasn't even able to move, thousands of thoughts ran through his mind but then he finally hurried over to Clarice. He pulled her out of the now almost cold water and grabbed a big fluffy towel to wrap it around her slender features. He shook her slightly to wake her out of the state of trance in which she seemed to be.
"Wake up darling, come on, it's just a dream, mhm!" he rubbed and massaged her cool body to get her warm again. His soothing words seemed to take its use when she eventually stopped to repeat those words. Lecter was immensely relieved, these sounds had bothered him deeply, more than he had thought anything could ever bother him. He kept on mumbling words of comfort to Clarice.
Lecter realized after awhile that she had come back to full consciousness again, and he also noticed that she was surprisingly quiet in his arms - almost numb. Hannibal slowly grasped her both shoulders with his hands to hold her some inches away from his body. He wanted to look at her, to reassure himself that everything was in order. He did just that.
The second their gazes met, he knew, knew that she remembered, knew that she was aware who she was dealing with, knew what happened. He was desperate, as desperate as one Hannibal Lecter could become. Then the center of his attention spoke, for the first time as herself.
"No, Dr. Lecter, this is no dream, this is reality, this is me: Special Agent Clarice Starling imprisoned by a murderer, by Dr. Hannibal Lecter! How could you do this to me? I thought you respected me, I really thought you were the gentleman you always insist on being. How could you humiliate me in the most meanest way imaginable?" she accused him directly.
Lecter was not able to say anything, words seemed to be building up in his mind but apparently he couldn't utter them. More than once he began to form a sentence, his mouth opened ever so slightly, but it was useless.
There was nothing he could say, nothing to defend what he had done, nothing to justify his deeds. It was over, his disguise had been lifted and he was discovered. Hannibal sighed deeply, exhausted all of a sudden, he let go of her arms, raised one hand and rubbed his forehead and eyebrows with thumb and index finger, then turned without looking at her and left the bathroom.
Clarice scoffed.
She could really not quite believe what had just happened here. Had Hannibal Lecter, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, "The Monster" really just left the room, defeated and totally destroyed. Was it actually possible, she thought not, but unless she had merely dreamed it, it definitely had happened.
Starling stood there, the towel wrapped tightly around her, drops of peach flavored water fell down from her still wet hair. She shook her head and slowly began to walk out of the damp room. When she almost reached the room, in which she had slept the nights before, she remembered that her clothes still lay in the bathroom, so she went back to pick them up and returned to the room. There she put them on, more or less automatically without really noticing what she was doing. Her mind was still on the scene with Lecter in the bathroom.
Minutes later Clarice recognized that she had been sitting on the edge of the bed frozen like a marble statue. She got up and went to search for her host.
Starling noticed just now that it was a rather big house, well what do you expect from a man like him, she asked herself. She searched around for some time and was almost sure that he had left, when she entered a large dark room. Big azure curtains covered the grand Venetian windows. The room was full of antiques and very Lecter-like. She had to smile in spite of herself.
Then she saw him sitting behind a pompous mahogany desk. His head was propped on his hands. He sat there very quiet, to Clarice it looked as if he was sleeping because there was no movement in him.
Agent Starling bit on her lower lip. She thought of something to say. How was she supposed to act now. What did he expect from her? Did he think that she would take her gun and shoot him or try to get him back to DC? It was ludicrous, the whole situation was insane. However, the most irritating thing was that she felt sympathy for him, how that was possible she had no idea, but that was what she felt.
°°°°°
End part 5
With Impunity - Part 6: Inferiority (NC-17!!!!!!! be warned)
Author's note: This is actually something I've never written before! This part of the story deals with some tiny little violence within Hannibal & Clarice's relationship. Enjoy and please be kind ;-)!
Rating: NC-17 for some bites ;-) and sexual interaction – if you don't like that sort of thing……… you have been warned. ……………………………………………………………
"Well, Doctor, be assured – you won't get away with it! You can't just leave the room and believe that you will be able to get away without answering my questions. I expect an answer now! You owe me that much, don't you think?"
Lecter just kept sitting there. He didn't bat an eyelid over Clarice's accusations, he seemed to not care about it - even more, he didn't seem to have noticed that she had entered the room at all. It made her furious, the old feeling about being rejected for whatever reason slowly came back to her crawling up her spine and into her head. Clarice noticed more accusations and insults forming in her mind and the fury made her forget with whom she was dealing.
"Come on now, I'm being held here against my will suffering from the aftershocks of a real bad amnesia and you can't bring yourself to tell me why you lied to me. The big Hannibal Lecter MD lied, although he once made it clear so very proudly that he would never lie, even is known for it. SO why did you do it, I wonder?" Clarice stood there hands in her hips, an arrogant smile on her lips.
She was being careless and didn't even notice. Clarice didn't notice the changes within Lecter, she was too busy barking at him.
"Doctor, I have the right to know, don't you think, now explain what your reasons were or let me the fuck out of here!"
That did it. Clarice did not have more time to react than a snowflake in hell, when he came moving around the big table catlike and fast as a beast hunting for his prey. His eyes stung into hers and she felt like she was being physically penetrated by them. He stood inches in front of her and the distance decreased more and more. She slowly moved backwards until she reached the cool wall. Then there was no way of escape. She had never seen him like that before – I'm gonna die, here and now – that one recurring thought seemed to put enormous pressure onto her temples. She felt as if her head was going to explode any minute. That must be the way he is when he kills, Clarice also thought. It was the last thing she was able to think when Lecter bared his teeth at her and growled.
He hissed between then clenched small pearl white teeth.
"Be careful. Don't provoke me when you can't cope with the effects, my dear! You want to learn why I did what I did, well be prepared, because you are not going to like it! I wanted to prepare you for it, wanted to tell you the sugar-coated way, but you don't seem to like it, so let's do it the hard way, shall we, little Starling!"
Lecter put both his hands against the wall, Clarice was caught between his strong body, which she felt pressing up against her lithe features, and the cold, rough material of the wall. He smiled at her, typically Lecter-like evil and merciless. She saw now that she had made some deadly mistakes but she couldn't turn back time so she had to go with whatever he had in mind. At the moment the most important thing seemed to be to survive, even if she funnily was rather sure that he didn't want to kill her, he had had the opportunity every second the past days she had spent with him.
No, he definitely had something else in mind, she feared to clearly think about it, because she almost knew what it was. Clarice knew that he wanted her sexually, as he would say, there was the kiss in Krendler's kitchen and there were those stolen glances he shot her whenever he thought she didn't look. The problem was that now he was probably as furious as she had been some moments ago and very likely aroused. How was she supposed to defend herself against him in this stadium of emotional turmoil. She couldn't bet on his gentleman-like behavior because maybe the lies he had told her hadn't just been the exception of the rule.
Clarice felt tiny and powerless and even inferior in comparison to him. He had all the aces and she suddenly was just one weak female that had to try to defend herself from being used in the most horrible way imaginable. She attempted to save the situation from getting out of control but again made a mistake…
"Doctor please, this is not you, you would never do that to a woman, you despise something like that, you're being rude and you hate rude people, don't you?" Clarice asked full of hope.
Lecter reduced the distance between their bodies even more, if possible, and then slowly raised one manicured hand to her face. He stroked down from her jaw-line to her chin and then down the delicate skin of her slender neck. He felt the fast beating of her pulse. Then with a smooth movement he grasped her shoulders and turned her round. He pressed her body tightly against his to let her feel his very evident erection. Then Lecter put one hand on her mouth and one around the front of her neck. At first he just held her like that, and Clarice remained still, but then he increased the pressure on her neck and she really became afraid. Maybe he would kill her now and here. She tried to scream and bite, even succeeded once when she caught his little finger, but he wouldn't let her free.
Clarice trembled and desperately tried to think of a way to escape but she was to shocked and too confused to find a solution. The Doctor suddenly loosened his grip on her mouth and her neck to wander down her body. He stroked over her breasts to find the little buds ready and waiting to be teased.
"Oh my little darling, how come, I didn't think you were into such dangerous areas of lovemaking, or is it just the fear you're feeling now, and you are afraid am I right, Special Agent Starling?" when she wasn't answering he asked again.
"Am I right Agent Starling?" he hadn't called her that for quite some time. He really had to be very angry. Clarice couldn't answer. She was too embarrassed about her reaction to him in such a situation and in addition to that, that he noticed it. Of course he had noticed it, like he noticed almost everything concerning herself.
"I'm waiting Clarice, don't make me wait too long, I wouldn't want to show you how impatient I can become, would you?" his voice was a mere whisper which she could barely understand, but she was close enough to hear.
Again she felt anger within her self, and even if she knew that she was endangering herself more she said out loud what she felt.
"Yes, Doctor, of course I am afraid, everybody would be, but I am not as afraid as you might think. Yes, I reacted to you and I have no idea why because I don't enjoy those kinds of lovemaking. Anyway, you still haven't answered my question and I am getting impatient as well. Of course you could torture me or whatever you had in mind by threatening me but it still won't change the fact that you don't intend to answer me! Now I am asking you again to tell me why you kept me here!"
Lecter first didn't move. He just held her the way he did before. Clarice still wasn't able to free herself he was to strong.
"I will answer your questions orally one or the other way, you'll see!"
Lecter pushed her body slowly as if to tell her she should go somewhere. When she didn't react right away he lifted her up to put her over his shoulder. With one hand he hold her tightly. She kicked and thrashed trying to wobble out of his grip but it was no use. He put her down right before the mahogany table, then with one sharp movement of his right arm wiped everything of the table, that had been lying there in thoroughly exact order.
Clarice stood there, her mouth was opened in surprise and she could not move. Hannibal then turned to her and looked her straight in the eyes. She saw pure lust in them and suddenly felt that her body felt different about this than her mind. Where her mind told her to be afraid her body was aroused and strangely excited from this rough treatment. She felt herself getting wet although her mind still fought against it.
Lecter searched for her eyes again and what he saw in them was the fight Clarice was having right now, he could feel and smell that her body was ready for him but her mind was not. He hadn't want it this way but she had left him no other way. Now there was no going back. He could not control himself anymore - he had to have her now.
Hannibal lifted her up to sit on the table. His mouth searched for her neck, first he nibbled his way up and down the fine skin, he felt her reaction to his love-bites – she had goose-bumps all over her skin - but then he bit her harder not quite to draw blood but she would surely have a stain for some time. Clarice cried out loudly if in pain or pleasure he couldn't tell and actually wasn't interested. He wanted to leave his mark on her in whatever way. His hands again went to those erected peaks that were screaming for attention. He raised her pullover and pulled it over her head, the bra was nonchalantly tossed away as well. Then his mouth moved over each breast in turn, devouring her hungrily, thoroughly, sucking her nipples taut then drawing them tighter still. Clarice's breath fragmented as Hannibal's hands and mouth slid down her body. He opened her pants and slid them down her legs. The panties followed easily. Lecter pressed her legs widely apart, caressing her and opening her up with his thumbs, fitting his mouth over her, matching her sultry heat with his own, savoring her. She had never felt anything like it, never known she could be drenched and burning at the same time. Her knees shook. Her fingers clenched in his hair. She fought for balance, for breath, for understanding, but the only thing that was there for her was the demanding, relentless, ravishing heat of his mouth. She tried to tell him to stop, she couldn't take it anymore. His fingers slid deep and his mouth shifted, closing around the wildly sensitive knot of flesh, sucking hard until she screamed and shattered into a thousand blind, glittering pieces. Her mind went blank and she could not produce one single reasonable thought.
What had just happened to her, she wondered? Eyes closed she felt the stinging heat of Hannibal's very male body close to her, he had his arms around her holding her tightly. She could also feel the him rock-hard pressing against her inner thigh. Suddenly it was all too much, she was not ready to sleep with him, maybe her body was but she knew it was a mistake. So she put her hands against his chest to stop him.
"Please, please don't …… not this way! I can't! Why are you doing this to me? This is not fair!" Clarice was only whimpering the last words but he understood her clearly.
"Well Clarice this should answer all your questions: because I love you with all my heart! I love you Clarice. Can you not understand that it was the only way to get you to see me differently. You hated me or still hate me the way I am in real life so I hoped to build up a new one which would show you how it could be between us – that's why I didn't tell you who I am and what had happened to you! Believe me I tried to hold back the desire but could not control it. The longing for us to be together was stronger than my self-control. I am truly sorry, Clarice!"
With those words he let go of her and bowed down to pick up her clothes. He gave them back to her then sat down on one of the chairs that were standing beside the table. He looked very sad and again propped his head on his hands.
Clarice put on her pullover and her pants again. She didn't bother with the bra. Then she took another chair opposite to him and looked at him. He looked different to her somehow. She looked him up and down and noticed the bulge in his pants still evident from their … whatever it was they had done earlier. She blushed involuntarily thinking of her previous behavior. Her life was a total catastrophe at the moment and she wasn't going to give up that fast. She wasn't going to let him get away just because he was literally swimming in self pity. Clarice put every emotion far back into her mind and concentrated on the facts. Just like the ambitious agent she's been all her grown-up life.
"All right now Dr. Lecter, you told me that you loved me, but I still don't understand how you could think that I would stay with you here not knowing who I am, I mean what would you have told me anyway. Did you plan on newly inventing me from the day I was born, or how did you plan on doing it? I'd like to understand it. I don't have to tell you how confused I am, don't I? I am not, really not thinking about anything else than the facts at the moment, because otherwise I am going crazy, but I have to know. You do understand that, do you? ……………………… You know Doctor, I reacted to you in a way I hadn't intended to, and I have to think about that someday, but before that I have to know about your plans. If there's a chance, if, then I have to know all the details!"
Those words made Hannibal raise his head hastily. There was possibly some hope for them, still.
"Clarice, don't start something you aren't about to finish! What do you mean by chance?"
"I mean the possibility that I might stay a little longer…!"
°----------------°
end part 6
With Impunity – Part 7: Separación (span. for separation)
He knew he was going to lose her. They had spent the last two weeks together, talking and discussing whatever sprang to mind, but he never touched her again, he had waited for her to make the next move, which she didn't. He had tried to make her understand his actions and she seemed to understand, but she just was not happy. She missed her friends and her life. He just knew that sooner or later she would leave him. Maybe it was better anyway, she represented a great danger for his freedom, even if she probably never was going to tell anyone about anything that had happened the last weeks, at least not about the part concerning him. She somehow respected him enough to know that she wasn't in danger to be killed by him. At least of that he could persuade her. Everything else hadn't worked out the way he had hoped it would, but she seemed not to hate him now. Lecter sighed and looked at her. Clarice sat opposite to him at the breakfast table.
She read the paper a deep frown on her forehead. Hannibal chuckled slightly – that was his girl.
"Anything interesting in the paper, Clarice?"
Clarice didn't even look up when she was answering.
"No, just the usual stuff!" there was something in her voice that made him listen more closely. He narrowed his eyes.
"Don't lie Clarice, or I'll know!"
Her big blues were directed at him now.
"Do you really want to know, Doctor? They are saying something about the two of us! They call me a traitor and
"Bride of the Monster". Also they are saying that I must have been in contact with you all these years and must have had a deal with you since the day you broke out of jail in Memphis. All very nice things, don't you think? I really like to be called such nice names! I know that this is only yellow press and that the FBI doesn't believe it, but I still don't have to like it! The worst is that yellow press is right all the way, because I AM A TRAITOR; I know where you are and still haven't called them to come and get you! I am a federal agent and am supposed to act like one, and why don't I do it, why? Tell me why Doctor?"
"You tell me Clarice!"
"Well I can't, because I don't know, and you - it isn't working … this isn't right! I don't belong here and you know that! I have to get back home!" she said that without looking at him, a wistful look on her face.
"You know, my dear, I knew that you were going to say that, and it's your decision. You are free to stay or to go. Whatever is fine with me. You know that I'd be more than delirious if you stayed. I just want to tell you something before you go: I will never come after you, not even if you'll some day decide to tell my friends of the FBI where I am and what really happened. You are safe!"
Clarice stood up and went to her room to put on her clothing. There was nothing to say. She would return home and forget about everything that she had experienced the last weeks.
Why did she feel so miserable then? She didn't know what was right or wrong anymore, there were so many personal barriers and principles that she had broken the last weeks that the line between good and bad and right and wrong has dissolved, turned and vanished into nothing.
How could she possibly think about a life with a mass murderer. Clarice smirked: Just because he has given you the most incredible orgasm, you don't have to go crazy all over him and be putty in his hands! she thought to herself. He still was a murderer.
Clarice turned one last time to take a last look at the room in which she had spent the last three weeks. She shrugged and sighed deeply, then turned back and went out to go back into the kitchen.
"Dr. Lecter? Are you there?"
"I am here Clarice, come over here!"
The voice came from one of the dark huge rooms on the left which she had never dared to enter without his knowledge. Lecter stood there holding something in his hand a gentle smile on his face. She walked over to him. He hold out his hand to place something into hers. It was a small figurine made from jade. It was polished with such expert hands that it glittered even in the dark light of this room in different shades of light green and white.
Clarice looked up from the elegant beauty of the little statue and up into Lecter's eyes. He still smiled a little dreamily now.
"Clarice, this is something I have bought some time ago, and it reminded me of natural beauty. I have to admit that I thought of you when I first touched it and now I want you to have it and hope that you will love as much as I have and always will!"
"Doctor, I couldn't possibly, this is too ……!" before she could finish her sentence he said.
"Please Clarice, I want you to take it, don't think of money, I don't!"
So she took it into both her small hands and nodded. The ringing sound of the doorbell startled them both out of their silence. It was the man who provided her with a rental car, as in this area it was nearly an impossibility to get a cab. Hannibal had taken care of everything by telephone so that she didn't have to even say one word.
When she opened the door she just saw him leaving with another guy in another car. Everything seemed to be so easy for the Doctor.
Clarice noticed that he hadn't followed her out of the house. So this was it, she thought. No good-bye - no nothing, but what did she expect. Clarice opened the door to the old Ford and sat down. She placed the little figurine carefully on the passenger seat and closed the door beside her. The air was hot inside the car, no air-conditioning, so she scrolled down the windows. Clarice started the car and with one last look at the big, majestic house she drove off.
"Good-bye my love…." Hannibal was standing at one the huge venetian window and watched how the one woman he truly loved left his life.
°.................°
The END