Chapter 20: August. 29, 2000, 1PM, Ambulance Bay (Peter Benton's Point of
View):
** Have fun with this one, everyone. I think you will all like it. Might
be a day or two for the next chapter 'cause I am moving into my dorm
tomorrow. Reviews are welcome! Enjoy! **
It's been a couple hours since Kerry told me about Carter. I don't want to believe her, but it makes more sense than anything else. Sick grandfather. I can't believe he would lie about that. But I really can't believe that I fell for it. Carter has always been a really awful liar, but obviously he's been practicing.
Kerry wouldn't tell me too much since she doesn't have the right to. I admire her for understanding how dangerous this would be once spread to people like Anspaugh or Romano, but I also wish she had told me about it much earlier. No. I wish Carter had come to me for help. But he's a stubborn man, never showing weakness.
All I know is that he admitted to using drugs, but I don't know how long or what drugs. And he quit his job in the ER because he refused to go to rehab and he wouldn't let them fire him. Kerry also said that he is living with his grandparents again and she strongly hinted that I should pay him a visit. So since I just got off my shift, that's where I am going now. It's funny.I am very nervous to see him, and since Kerry told me the truth, I have had a pit in the bottom of my stomach and I feel like something is terribly wrong.
Doug Ross gives me directions (and I am not too happy that he's known about this too) and I drive over to the Carter residence. After ringing the doorbell it takes a couple minutes for a butler to answer the door.
He looks flustered as he asks, "May I help you, sir?"
"I'm here to see Dr. Carter."
"I'm sorry but he is not able to entertain guests at the moment."
"Well, this is very important. Is he home?"
"He is home, sir, but as I said, he cannot entertain-"
"Guests," I finish, "Yeah, I got that, but what do you mean?"
"He is not well, sir." The butler glances over his shoulder. I try to look but I can't see anything.
"He was fine a few hours ago. What's wrong with him?"
"I'm not sure, sir."
"Well, I am a doctor at County with Carter. I can take a look at him-" But I stop when I hear a loud crash come from deep inside the house, followed by what sounds like Carter shouting. I push past the butler and barely hear him protest. I weave through the labyrinth of the house but stop when I see him. He is dressed as he was earlier although now his shirt is untucked and his tie is at his feet. Luckily his back is to me but I can see his grandmother about ten feet in front of him. She looks as dignified as ever even with her grandson shouting at her.
Then I see it. There are the remains of a glass vase next to Carter-that must have been the crash-and he is holding one of the shards of glass in his right hand. But what disturbs me is the blood dripping from the point of the glass. There is some smeared blood on the back of his neck, as if he rubbed it there. And his left hand as a little blood on it, but not a lot. I wish I knew where it was coming from but I don't want to intervene just yet. I listen to what he is shouting.
"-Gamma! You want to know what has happened to me?! I WAS STABBED IN THE BACK!" and he takes the shard and stabs himself in his back. I want to jump forward and stop him, but I can't move. Luckily he only creates a couple flesh wounds-almost no blood stains his shirt.
"And then," he continues, "After I survived, I was in so much pain. Some days-most days-I wished I had died! But I couldn't do anything except take medicine!" He rips off his shirt and shoves out his left arm. I can't see what's on his arm but now I can see the scars from when he was attacked. For an instant I wonder if he is right, if we should have let him die. He's been through so much pain and suffering, after all. But I shake that thought out of my head, feeling like Dr. Kavorkian. Carter continues, "I am a fucking drug addict! I'm no better than Chase! Why did you let them save me! I should have died!"
Carter's grandmother had said nothing but now she glances up at me, which triggers Carter to spin and face me. I can see his ribs showing through his skin and the large scar on his abdomen where we had to operate. I did that. I cut this young man open and now the thought hits me again. I could have saved him from all this pain and heartache if I had accepted that it was his time to die. No, stop thinking like that! That time has past, but I need to save him now.
Finally I can see where the blood is coming from, and it shocks me. There is a large gash on his forehead and although it doesn't appear to be too deep, blood is dripping down into his eyes and the wound will need to be sutured. I don't know how he was cut there and I don't dare ask. In fact, Cater is the first to talk between us.
"You," he says in a soft, deep voice. "You saved me. But by saving me, you've cursed me."
"Carter, you're out of your mind, man. We couldn't just let you die-"
"No! You're wrong!" He's pacing back and forth. He had dropped the glass and now his hands are clutching his head. "That would have been the decent thing to do." And I faintly hear him mumble, "But now I have to get the job done," just before he sprints down the hall past his grandmother. I dart after him but he has already run into a room and locked the door.
I hear crying coming from behind me and turn to see Millicent Carter. She says, "I told him not to work at that damn hospital. I begged him to quit after he was attacked."
I interject, "What is this room?"
"Oh, um, his office-" she starts as I hear another crash in this room. God only knows what he's doing and what medical supplies he has in there. Without thinking, I slam my body into the door again and again until it finally swings inward. I stumble in just in time to see a look of desperation in Carter's eyes as he falls into a pool of his own blood.
** Have fun with this one, everyone. I think you will all like it. Might
be a day or two for the next chapter 'cause I am moving into my dorm
tomorrow. Reviews are welcome! Enjoy! **
It's been a couple hours since Kerry told me about Carter. I don't want to believe her, but it makes more sense than anything else. Sick grandfather. I can't believe he would lie about that. But I really can't believe that I fell for it. Carter has always been a really awful liar, but obviously he's been practicing.
Kerry wouldn't tell me too much since she doesn't have the right to. I admire her for understanding how dangerous this would be once spread to people like Anspaugh or Romano, but I also wish she had told me about it much earlier. No. I wish Carter had come to me for help. But he's a stubborn man, never showing weakness.
All I know is that he admitted to using drugs, but I don't know how long or what drugs. And he quit his job in the ER because he refused to go to rehab and he wouldn't let them fire him. Kerry also said that he is living with his grandparents again and she strongly hinted that I should pay him a visit. So since I just got off my shift, that's where I am going now. It's funny.I am very nervous to see him, and since Kerry told me the truth, I have had a pit in the bottom of my stomach and I feel like something is terribly wrong.
Doug Ross gives me directions (and I am not too happy that he's known about this too) and I drive over to the Carter residence. After ringing the doorbell it takes a couple minutes for a butler to answer the door.
He looks flustered as he asks, "May I help you, sir?"
"I'm here to see Dr. Carter."
"I'm sorry but he is not able to entertain guests at the moment."
"Well, this is very important. Is he home?"
"He is home, sir, but as I said, he cannot entertain-"
"Guests," I finish, "Yeah, I got that, but what do you mean?"
"He is not well, sir." The butler glances over his shoulder. I try to look but I can't see anything.
"He was fine a few hours ago. What's wrong with him?"
"I'm not sure, sir."
"Well, I am a doctor at County with Carter. I can take a look at him-" But I stop when I hear a loud crash come from deep inside the house, followed by what sounds like Carter shouting. I push past the butler and barely hear him protest. I weave through the labyrinth of the house but stop when I see him. He is dressed as he was earlier although now his shirt is untucked and his tie is at his feet. Luckily his back is to me but I can see his grandmother about ten feet in front of him. She looks as dignified as ever even with her grandson shouting at her.
Then I see it. There are the remains of a glass vase next to Carter-that must have been the crash-and he is holding one of the shards of glass in his right hand. But what disturbs me is the blood dripping from the point of the glass. There is some smeared blood on the back of his neck, as if he rubbed it there. And his left hand as a little blood on it, but not a lot. I wish I knew where it was coming from but I don't want to intervene just yet. I listen to what he is shouting.
"-Gamma! You want to know what has happened to me?! I WAS STABBED IN THE BACK!" and he takes the shard and stabs himself in his back. I want to jump forward and stop him, but I can't move. Luckily he only creates a couple flesh wounds-almost no blood stains his shirt.
"And then," he continues, "After I survived, I was in so much pain. Some days-most days-I wished I had died! But I couldn't do anything except take medicine!" He rips off his shirt and shoves out his left arm. I can't see what's on his arm but now I can see the scars from when he was attacked. For an instant I wonder if he is right, if we should have let him die. He's been through so much pain and suffering, after all. But I shake that thought out of my head, feeling like Dr. Kavorkian. Carter continues, "I am a fucking drug addict! I'm no better than Chase! Why did you let them save me! I should have died!"
Carter's grandmother had said nothing but now she glances up at me, which triggers Carter to spin and face me. I can see his ribs showing through his skin and the large scar on his abdomen where we had to operate. I did that. I cut this young man open and now the thought hits me again. I could have saved him from all this pain and heartache if I had accepted that it was his time to die. No, stop thinking like that! That time has past, but I need to save him now.
Finally I can see where the blood is coming from, and it shocks me. There is a large gash on his forehead and although it doesn't appear to be too deep, blood is dripping down into his eyes and the wound will need to be sutured. I don't know how he was cut there and I don't dare ask. In fact, Cater is the first to talk between us.
"You," he says in a soft, deep voice. "You saved me. But by saving me, you've cursed me."
"Carter, you're out of your mind, man. We couldn't just let you die-"
"No! You're wrong!" He's pacing back and forth. He had dropped the glass and now his hands are clutching his head. "That would have been the decent thing to do." And I faintly hear him mumble, "But now I have to get the job done," just before he sprints down the hall past his grandmother. I dart after him but he has already run into a room and locked the door.
I hear crying coming from behind me and turn to see Millicent Carter. She says, "I told him not to work at that damn hospital. I begged him to quit after he was attacked."
I interject, "What is this room?"
"Oh, um, his office-" she starts as I hear another crash in this room. God only knows what he's doing and what medical supplies he has in there. Without thinking, I slam my body into the door again and again until it finally swings inward. I stumble in just in time to see a look of desperation in Carter's eyes as he falls into a pool of his own blood.